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Cool Videos: The Most Ridiculous Edited-For-TV Movie Lines (NSFW)

5 years agoby:

Ever find a stranger in the Alps? No? Probably for the best then...

SNAKES ON A PLANE, THE USUAL SUSPECTS, THE DEPARTED, SCARFACE... what do they all have in common? Terrible, terrible (and unintentionally hilarious) edited-for-television lines. And thanks to the guys at Gawker, the video below gives us a short but sweet sampling of these bon mots (pardon my French). A couple, I'll admit, are actually pretty clean. But others... sheesh!

If you see a cool video online you think would be perfect for this spotlight, drop us a line at yourvideos@joblo.com.

Extra Tidbit: Got a fave not shown in the video above?
Source: Gawker

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1:31PM on 10/22/2010
Thank fuck this doesn't fucking happen in motherfucking Holland. Fuck!
Thank fuck this doesn't fucking happen in motherfucking Holland. Fuck!
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4:06AM on 10/22/2010
anyone ever seen VH1s edied version of Showgirls is hilarious dat they literally drew bras & panties 4 all da nude scenes & very poorly also is why it's so funny.
anyone ever seen VH1s edied version of Showgirls is hilarious dat they literally drew bras & panties 4 all da nude scenes & very poorly also is why it's so funny.
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11:40PM on 10/21/2010
dumb and dumber: "kiss me ass" = "kiss my peanut butter sandwich!"

austin powers: "do i make you horny? randy? do i make you horny, baby, do i?" = "do i make you randy? randy? do i make you randy, baby, do i?
dumb and dumber: "kiss me ass" = "kiss my peanut butter sandwich!"

austin powers: "do i make you horny? randy? do i make you horny, baby, do i?" = "do i make you randy? randy? do i make you randy, baby, do i?
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8:35PM on 10/21/2010
The Sunday Sunshine Moving Picture Show Version Of "Pallies"
The Sunday Sunshine Moving Picture Show Version Of "Pallies"
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3:12PM on 10/21/2010
in the tv edit of Superbad for FX, Bill Hader's character says "spread your business, put it on the pavement" when in the theatrical cut he says, "spread your shit, pussies on the pavement"
in the tv edit of Superbad for FX, Bill Hader's character says "spread your business, put it on the pavement" when in the theatrical cut he says, "spread your shit, pussies on the pavement"
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1:52PM on 10/21/2010
I have not watched the video yet. I am guessing that John McClane's famous line "Yippie-Kai-Yay mother fucker" is on the edited list as "Yippie-Kai-Yay Mr. Falcon"
I have not watched the video yet. I am guessing that John McClane's famous line "Yippie-Kai-Yay mother fucker" is on the edited list as "Yippie-Kai-Yay Mr. Falcon"
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1:30PM on 10/21/2010
On the TV edit of Fallen "Fuck you, motherfucker" becomes "Forget you, my friend". Just about anything from the TV edit of The Departed is golden too.
On the TV edit of Fallen "Fuck you, motherfucker" becomes "Forget you, my friend". Just about anything from the TV edit of The Departed is golden too.
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1:05PM on 10/21/2010
Another one from RoboCop: "I don't have time for you Big Shots!"
Another one from RoboCop: "I don't have time for you Big Shots!"
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12:52PM on 10/21/2010
Son of a bitch became slug in a ditch in James Woods The Hard Way. Also in Stir Crazy, Richard Pryor had to convince a bunch of inmates how bad-ass he was by saying him and Gene Wilder "aint gonna take no 'doo-doo'"
Son of a bitch became slug in a ditch in James Woods The Hard Way. Also in Stir Crazy, Richard Pryor had to convince a bunch of inmates how bad-ass he was by saying him and Gene Wilder "aint gonna take no 'doo-doo'"
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12:34PM on 10/21/2010
Reminds me of those Orbit commercials.
Reminds me of those Orbit commercials.
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12:31PM on 10/21/2010

MIIB

Men In Black 2 on TV called the "Ball Chinian" alien a "Chin Chinian." Thats all I got, goodnight everybody!
Men In Black 2 on TV called the "Ball Chinian" alien a "Chin Chinian." Thats all I got, goodnight everybody!
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11:44AM on 10/21/2010
find a stranger in the alps! Weigh the truck does that mean?!
find a stranger in the alps! Weigh the truck does that mean?!
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+2
10:52AM on 10/21/2010

Fast Times at Ridgemont High

F***ing Pr**k became Fuzzy Pickle. Well done, Mr. Hand.
F***ing Pr**k became Fuzzy Pickle. Well done, Mr. Hand.
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+7
10:42AM on 10/21/2010

Kill Bill on TNT

This forgot to include everytime Kill Bill on TNT. "My name is Buck and I'm here to PARTY"

lmao that always cracks me up
This forgot to include everytime Kill Bill on TNT. "My name is Buck and I'm here to PARTY"

lmao that always cracks me up
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+2
10:05AM on 10/21/2010
Oh, and how can I forget The Breakfast Club on TV, with "Flip you!"
Oh, and how can I forget The Breakfast Club on TV, with "Flip you!"
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10:20AM on 10/21/2010
Damn, you got to that one before I did! "Flip you!!" "No, flip you!" and "You swore to her you wouldn't laugh."
Damn, you got to that one before I did! "Flip you!!" "No, flip you!" and "You swore to her you wouldn't laugh."
+1
10:04AM on 10/21/2010
Ferris Bueller's Day Off: "Cameron is so tight that if you take a lump of coal and stick it [IN HIS FIST] in two weeks you have a diamond". That one always made me laugh when this movie was on television.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off: "Cameron is so tight that if you take a lump of coal and stick it [IN HIS FIST] in two weeks you have a diamond". That one always made me laugh when this movie was on television.
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9:09AM on 10/21/2010
GIMME THE KEYS YOU FAIRY GODMOTHER!!!!
GIMME THE KEYS YOU FAIRY GODMOTHER!!!!
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+10
9:01AM on 10/21/2010

Whoah

I hope I never find a stranger in the Alps.
I hope I never find a stranger in the Alps.
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8:30AM on 10/21/2010

the matrix

i love how they use "jeepers creepers" every time keanu says "holy shit" in the first matrix lol

these are freaking hilarious though
i love how they use "jeepers creepers" every time keanu says "holy shit" in the first matrix lol

these are freaking hilarious though
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8:09AM on 10/21/2010
All the edits in the TV version of Robocop. Makes a great drinking game. Who can forget "Ladies leave" and "*gunshot* me *gunshot* me *gunshot* me"
All the edits in the TV version of Robocop. Makes a great drinking game. Who can forget "Ladies leave" and "*gunshot* me *gunshot* me *gunshot* me"
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6:22AM on 10/21/2010

Mother Father Chinese Dentist!

.
.
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