Don’t call him Van

Meet Stan Helsing. He’s a video store clerk who on one Halloween night must reluctantly save his town from the six most famous monsters in cinema history. Oh f*ck it. I was just about to write—or at least try to write—some nifty little yarn about this dude Stan Helsing, and I was going to keep you hanging off my every word, wondering until the very last one just what the hell I was talking about, but like I said before f*ck it. STAN HELSING is a monster movie spoof written and directed by the guy who wrote SOUL PLANE and produced TURISTAS. And to be honest, I thought these straight-up spoofs went out with the Jerk. It’d be nice to see some progression. When will they end? Once every genre in existence has been shittily spoofed? Can’t wait until we see TORTURE PORN MOVIE. But then again, every thing I just said could be wrong and this movie might have promise. Maybe I’d be more optimistic if the man behind it had a stronger track record.