Dorff does porn

It was only a matter of time before Stephen Dorff turned to pornography. Fortunately for him, it isn’t actual porn (yet), but rather a comedy co-written by Adam Sandler, called BORN TO BE A STAR. The film centers on a small-town Midwestern nerd (Nick Swardson) who discovers that his parents were famous porn stars. Christina Ricci will play Swardson’s girlfriend. Dorff will play “Dick Shadow,” a legendary porn star.

I swear it is movies like these that kill life for nerds. There must be like ten hot nerdy girls on the planet. And even then your chances are slim. It is basic supply and demand. “One Tree Hill” is another. Straight up, more people have died in balloon-related accidents than have hooked up with girls so impossibly out of their league than the kid “Mouth”, on that show. It’s like the percentage of street kids who make it to the NBA. That’s why I’ll take a chick with three arms and a lisp.