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Eclipse debuts the shortest teaser trailer in history

03.10.2010

ECLIPSE, the third and unfortunately not final installment of the TWILIGHT series, has just debuted what might be the world’s shortest teaser trailer, clocking in at ten seconds. But that's probably still enough to make ten year old girls faint all across the country, as of COURSE in a ten second trailer, Jacob still has time to be shirtless once.

The trailer features werewolf Jacob telling Bella that she’ll protect her until “her heart stops beating.” Uh, shouldn’t that be, until HIS heart stops beating? Oh wait, it’s a vampire reference. That’s actually mildly clever.

Not sure why Jacob is still all about Bella seeing as she was the world’s biggest bitch to him on at least five separate occasions last movie, but that’s this series for you. Character motivations aren’t exactly its strong suit, which is why you see a girl trying to get raped by a motorcycle gang so she can HALLUCINATE a vision of the boyfriend that dumped her.

Extra Tidbit: I vote Jacob hooks up with Dakota Fanning instead of a baby in the next book. I think that might go over better with audiences.
Source: JoBlo.com

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7:00AM on 03/11/2010

YAWN

whatever
whatever
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9:54PM on 03/10/2010
Dark Elfa just shot one on his screen.
Dark Elfa just shot one on his screen.
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8:26PM on 03/10/2010

My favorite is...

I had to sit through a 30 second commercial to see 10 seconds of suck. I love the 3D comment by Bashman. Cracked me up.
I had to sit through a 30 second commercial to see 10 seconds of suck. I love the 3D comment by Bashman. Cracked me up.
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8:18PM on 03/10/2010
I don't think I've ever seen Kristen Stewart make a facial expression.
I don't think I've ever seen Kristen Stewart make a facial expression.
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10:39PM on 03/10/2010
Well, your favorite actor is Djimon Hounsou and he's an extreme overactor, just look at his ridiculous performance in Blood Diamond. So, you probably don't think someone is acting unless they're giving a bug eyed performance. And your #1 movie is Lord of the Rings which is the male equivalent of Twilight in terms of getting a shitload of hype. So, let the teenage girls enjoy their Twilight movies. Did they complain to you when you were enjoying the Hobbits who were in love with each other?
Well, your favorite actor is Djimon Hounsou and he's an extreme overactor, just look at his ridiculous performance in Blood Diamond. So, you probably don't think someone is acting unless they're giving a bug eyed performance. And your #1 movie is Lord of the Rings which is the male equivalent of Twilight in terms of getting a shitload of hype. So, let the teenage girls enjoy their Twilight movies. Did they complain to you when you were enjoying the Hobbits who were in love with each other?
11:26PM on 03/10/2010
Dude you seriously got that offended you had to do some fucking research to talk shit? Pathetic
Dude you seriously got that offended you had to do some fucking research to talk shit? Pathetic
12:05AM on 03/11/2010
He went out of his way to be a dick in his response to my previous post so I figured I'd do the same. And if clicking a button is what you consider research then you must have gotten all F's in school.
He went out of his way to be a dick in his response to my previous post so I figured I'd do the same. And if clicking a button is what you consider research then you must have gotten all F's in school.
1:01PM on 03/11/2010
Yup, all F's in school. That's how I got into graduate school.
Yup, all F's in school. That's how I got into graduate school.
+1
6:51PM on 03/10/2010

Total Eclipse

What no 3D!!? :P
What no 3D!!? :P
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6:30PM on 03/10/2010
I find it funny that the beginning advertisement is longer than the clip itself. :)
I find it funny that the beginning advertisement is longer than the clip itself. :)
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5:46PM on 03/10/2010

Beef Muppets

It's just a clip from the trailer which debuts Thursday. Get over the hate already.
It's just a clip from the trailer which debuts Thursday. Get over the hate already.
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5:44PM on 03/10/2010

The Wig!!!!

Kristen Stewart's is so frizzy and horrible, it distracted me the whole time during the 10 seconds. the full trailer is gonna be 2 minutes of an afro wig.
Kristen Stewart's is so frizzy and horrible, it distracted me the whole time during the 10 seconds. the full trailer is gonna be 2 minutes of an afro wig.
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4:46PM on 03/10/2010
hmm... correct me if I'm wrong but isn't the director from 30 Days of Night and Hard Candy supposed to be directing this one? And they brought him on board just to do more of the same mopey stuff we've seen in the last two? Whatever. Not like I'm going to be seeing it anyway.
hmm... correct me if I'm wrong but isn't the director from 30 Days of Night and Hard Candy supposed to be directing this one? And they brought him on board just to do more of the same mopey stuff we've seen in the last two? Whatever. Not like I'm going to be seeing it anyway.
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4:44PM on 03/10/2010
That was cut short...
That was cut short...
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4:11PM on 03/10/2010

Not impressed.

I really don't have an opinion on this. If the missus wants to watch it then I'll still watch it with her, granted because I know she's going with me to 'The Expendables' flick. Anyway, does it strike anyone else wrong to find that there is still a 30 second ad for a 10 second "teaser". This is really not that great of a teaser; more fanservice.
I really don't have an opinion on this. If the missus wants to watch it then I'll still watch it with her, granted because I know she's going with me to 'The Expendables' flick. Anyway, does it strike anyone else wrong to find that there is still a 30 second ad for a 10 second "teaser". This is really not that great of a teaser; more fanservice.
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3:13PM on 03/10/2010
I think this site should consider not posting any Twilight related news because the joblo community is clearly not the target audience for this series and I don't think I've EVER read one positive thing in the strikeback section about these movies. Personally, I don't care for the Twilight movies but think they're far better than a lot of the shit some of the fanboys on here praise. And Kristen Stewart is an excellent actress, so I will watch every Twilight movie just for her performance.
I think this site should consider not posting any Twilight related news because the joblo community is clearly not the target audience for this series and I don't think I've EVER read one positive thing in the strikeback section about these movies. Personally, I don't care for the Twilight movies but think they're far better than a lot of the shit some of the fanboys on here praise. And Kristen Stewart is an excellent actress, so I will watch every Twilight movie just for her performance. But, I'm obviously a lot more interested in her other movies like The Runaways and Welcome to the Rileys which critics raved about her performances in. As for Eclipse, this movie has a fucking awesome director, David Slade, who made one of my all time favorite movies, Hard Candy. So, I'm curious to see what he does with this one. Plus, Catalina Sandino Moreno is in this one, who was phenomenal in Maria Full of Grace. So, while I don't think I'll ever like a Twilight movie since it's just not my thing, the talented people I just mentioned will definitely make it more tolerable.
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8:18PM on 03/10/2010
Kristen Stewart is an excellent actress? Really? Cause when I saw her in Adventureland she kinda just stared randomly at people and talked in a monotone voice. But hey, what do I know
Kristen Stewart is an excellent actress? Really? Cause when I saw her in Adventureland she kinda just stared randomly at people and talked in a monotone voice. But hey, what do I know
2:41PM on 03/10/2010
ha ha ha ha - stewarts heart stopped beating a long time ago - thats why she looks like she's rotting from the inside out. utter shit heap upon shit heap
ha ha ha ha - stewarts heart stopped beating a long time ago - thats why she looks like she's rotting from the inside out. utter shit heap upon shit heap
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2:15PM on 03/10/2010
It sucks! Nuff said!
It sucks! Nuff said!
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1:49PM on 03/10/2010
I feel like the Twilight movies are like your girlfriend going clubbing all weekend with her friends. You hate the idea but just want her to get it over with. The sooner these things come out, the better. I dont wanna hear about the last Twilight movie in 2012.
I feel like the Twilight movies are like your girlfriend going clubbing all weekend with her friends. You hate the idea but just want her to get it over with. The sooner these things come out, the better. I dont wanna hear about the last Twilight movie in 2012.
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12:56PM on 03/10/2010
The shortest and gayest 10 second teaser trailer of all time.
The shortest and gayest 10 second teaser trailer of all time.
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12:49PM on 03/10/2010

http://tinyurl.com/yztnbwh

This movie is nothing compared to INGLOURIOUS BASTERD BABYZ
This movie is nothing compared to INGLOURIOUS BASTERD BABYZ
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12:40PM on 03/10/2010
You hear that? That's the sound of 50 million teenage girls collectively squirting in their pants.
You hear that? That's the sound of 50 million teenage girls collectively squirting in their pants.
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-1
12:23PM on 03/10/2010
Wait. Is this real? This is going to debut in theatres? What the fuck was that?
Wait. Is this real? This is going to debut in theatres? What the fuck was that?
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12:15PM on 03/10/2010

To rossjohnson2806...

Just because we can't stand it doesn't mean we shouldn't report it. There are a lot of people in the world who like the movies so they deserve to have the news posted for their enjoyment. And haters of the movies have the right to watch the trailer and ridicule it till the cows come home. End o' story!
Just because we can't stand it doesn't mean we shouldn't report it. There are a lot of people in the world who like the movies so they deserve to have the news posted for their enjoyment. And haters of the movies have the right to watch the trailer and ridicule it till the cows come home. End o' story!
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12:10PM on 03/10/2010

Why do you guys even report twilight news

if you all hate it so much
if you all hate it so much
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12:00PM on 03/10/2010

To Bella, Jacob & Edward....

....COUNT THE SHELLS SUCKER DUCKS!!

*proceeds to blow you all away piece by piece with an carbine M16 Assault Rifle*
....COUNT THE SHELLS SUCKER DUCKS!!

*proceeds to blow you all away piece by piece with an carbine M16 Assault Rifle*
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11:43AM on 03/10/2010
Can somebody tell me why Kristen Stewart CONSTANTLY has a face like a slapped arse? That is all.
Can somebody tell me why Kristen Stewart CONSTANTLY has a face like a slapped arse? That is all.
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12:07PM on 03/10/2010
the chick is just cool man. She doesnt care. You see her straight hack up a lung at the Oscars? that couldnt wait 30 seconds, b/c she just doesnt care!
the chick is just cool man. She doesnt care. You see her straight hack up a lung at the Oscars? that couldnt wait 30 seconds, b/c she just doesnt care!
2:05PM on 03/10/2010
if you mean straight cool as in brainless imbecile, I agree, she is apparently straight cool.
if you mean straight cool as in brainless imbecile, I agree, she is apparently straight cool.
+2
11:38AM on 03/10/2010

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

there's Edward ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, omg, it's jacob, whaaaaaaaaaa wooooooooooooo weeeeeeeeeeeeeee
there's Edward ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, omg, it's jacob, whaaaaaaaaaa wooooooooooooo weeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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11:34AM on 03/10/2010
What is funny is that the sponsers add was longer than the fracking teaser.
What is funny is that the sponsers add was longer than the fracking teaser.
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11:22AM on 03/10/2010
The shorter the better when it comes to Twilight.
The shorter the better when it comes to Twilight.
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11:17AM on 03/10/2010
Agreed, that was 10 seconds to long. I canít believe they filled a whole 10 seconds with nothing but whiny emo kids complaining about how much they love this girl. That right there is why the terrorist hate us.
Agreed, that was 10 seconds to long. I canít believe they filled a whole 10 seconds with nothing but whiny emo kids complaining about how much they love this girl. That right there is why the terrorist hate us.
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+10
11:06AM on 03/10/2010
that was 10 seconds too long
that was 10 seconds too long
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