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Far Cry trailer

02.14.2008

Two trailers from the same director in the same week, what a treat! Today we have the trailer for FAR CRY starring Til Schweiger as Jack Carver, a retired Special Forces Officer who when working as a aww who the hell cares, it's Uwe Boll, okay? You know what you're getting. Uwe Boll could adapt Scrabble into a feature movie and there'd be explosions, mutants and exploitative sex-scenes. Although that last one is a major plus for this flick, and embarrassingly reason enough for me to see it, since it stars Emmanuelle Vaugier (SAW II), who is pretty much the hottest chick on the planet. I don't know what happens in the trailer after she says "It's too good of a story to pass up", because all I can see are floating hearts, rainbows and panda bears cuddling other panda bears. I can hear the soundtrack though, and I don't know how much it costs to buy the rights to music, but it can't be that much if Boll can throw in the USUAL SUSPECTS score for what amounts to basically three seconds and for no reason whatsoever. Check the trailer out HERE.
Extra Tidbit: Once, a bluebird and a friendly squirrel carried Emmanuelle Vaugier's groceries all the way home, just because of her beautiful face and kindly heart. True story.
Source: Twitch

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9:21PM on 02/17/2008
I couldn't even sit through the trailer, not much hope I'd sit through the movie.
I couldn't even sit through the trailer, not much hope I'd sit through the movie.
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12:34PM on 02/16/2008

Maybe...

when it hits the Sci-Fi channel, otherwise Uwe Boll can go to hell! I swaer the only film Uwe Boll ever did that actully looked good was Postal, every other film he did was just completly Bollshit!
when it hits the Sci-Fi channel, otherwise Uwe Boll can go to hell! I swaer the only film Uwe Boll ever did that actully looked good was Postal, every other film he did was just completly Bollshit!
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7:35PM on 02/15/2008

bolled over...

is that your gun? ha ha ha, but seriously, i liked it better the first time when it was called universal soldier.
is that your gun? ha ha ha, but seriously, i liked it better the first time when it was called universal soldier.
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6:30AM on 02/15/2008

Hmmm...indeed

I was up for this when I heard the rumours that Stephen Dorff was tipped to play Carver, then they gave it the man who funds his films with Nazi gold and quickly gave up on any notion of it being anything other than utter wank. Someone please kill him, please stop this muppet before he kills us all
I was up for this when I heard the rumours that Stephen Dorff was tipped to play Carver, then they gave it the man who funds his films with Nazi gold and quickly gave up on any notion of it being anything other than utter wank. Someone please kill him, please stop this muppet before he kills us all
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3:31AM on 02/15/2008

Hmmmm...

Til Schweiger was awesome in SLC PUNK! Lately he's been trying to prove himself as an action star, see 'Already Dead'. I have to say he's good, but not as a lead. I don't know, the action sequences look dope, I'll check it out, even after seeing that horrible trailer. Although, I bet you this is better than AVP: REQUIEM!
Til Schweiger was awesome in SLC PUNK! Lately he's been trying to prove himself as an action star, see 'Already Dead'. I have to say he's good, but not as a lead. I don't know, the action sequences look dope, I'll check it out, even after seeing that horrible trailer. Although, I bet you this is better than AVP: REQUIEM!
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2:19AM on 02/15/2008
If I could find a reason to watch this piece of poo, it would probably be for Emmanuelle. Maybe for Anthony Bourdain too.
If I could find a reason to watch this piece of poo, it would probably be for Emmanuelle. Maybe for Anthony Bourdain too.
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9:37PM on 02/14/2008
why the fuck is he still alive? Boll should be the new Iraq. Go fuck his ass up so bad man.
why the fuck is he still alive? Boll should be the new Iraq. Go fuck his ass up so bad man.
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8:14PM on 02/14/2008

Whoa

Typical, run-of-the-mill Boll tripe! It will suck, like all his other films....
Typical, run-of-the-mill Boll tripe! It will suck, like all his other films....
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7:18PM on 02/14/2008
Hilarious. This is Uwe's Bride of the Monster by far.

Hilarious. This is Uwe's Bride of the Monster by far.

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7:08PM on 02/14/2008
RECIPE FOR DISASTER:

Take one good idea. Add one director who thinks he's hot shit but isn't. Mix to taste, then keep mixing until taste doesn't exist. Add sex as required.
RECIPE FOR DISASTER:

Take one good idea. Add one director who thinks he's hot shit but isn't. Mix to taste, then keep mixing until taste doesn't exist. Add sex as required.
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6:11PM on 02/14/2008

Might/Might not

....although I'm down for both "Postal" and "1968: Tunnel Rats" (after seeing the trailer this week)

I think we can ALL agree that the comic relief guy is already annoying.

(Note to Arrow: I think the Spring 2008 release may only apply to Germany)
....although I'm down for both "Postal" and "1968: Tunnel Rats" (after seeing the trailer this week)

I think we can ALL agree that the comic relief guy is already annoying.

(Note to Arrow: I think the Spring 2008 release may only apply to Germany)
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6:05PM on 02/14/2008

I'm there!

Looks like fun f*cking cheese to me, in a macho, 80's action, testosterone fueled type of way. My only peeve is that fat, comic relief dude. He's already annoying the shite out of me and that's just in a trailer, hope he dies sooner than later in the film (my gut says he lives - bugh).
Looks like fun f*cking cheese to me, in a macho, 80's action, testosterone fueled type of way. My only peeve is that fat, comic relief dude. He's already annoying the shite out of me and that's just in a trailer, hope he dies sooner than later in the film (my gut says he lives - bugh).
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5:19PM on 02/14/2008

SeymourClearly

Your post, saying Toilet Boll, is one of the funniest things I've seen all day. Kudos, sir.
Your post, saying Toilet Boll, is one of the funniest things I've seen all day. Kudos, sir.
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5:14PM on 02/14/2008
Someone out there could adapt Tetris into a movie and it would STILL be a thousand times better than anything Uwe Boll could produce.

I wonder how that would work, doing a Tetris movie. "Tetris, starring Tom Cruise as L-Shaped Block." lol

OK, I better stop before Uwe Boll reads this and gets ideas...:-O
Someone out there could adapt Tetris into a movie and it would STILL be a thousand times better than anything Uwe Boll could produce.

I wonder how that would work, doing a Tetris movie. "Tetris, starring Tom Cruise as L-Shaped Block." lol

OK, I better stop before Uwe Boll reads this and gets ideas...:-O
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4:45PM on 02/14/2008

TOILET BOLL

More cinematic crap from the "Bollster". Don't blame him, blame who ever is financing his crappy movies.
This is another huge turd!!

Boll = feces
More cinematic crap from the "Bollster". Don't blame him, blame who ever is financing his crappy movies.
This is another huge turd!!

Boll = feces
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4:39PM on 02/14/2008
Uwe Boll is the worst mainstream filmmaker in existence. He is completely incapable of making a film that DOESN'T look like a high school project. Why is this? Why is he so bad at making movies? The trailers look fan-made, I think I have that font in KidPix. His films carry no style, just point and shoot. The music is stolen. I am so tired of him ruing video games.

I thought he was going to retire?

I really hope you were kidding, Cronos, because if you weren't, you are the dumbest person
Uwe Boll is the worst mainstream filmmaker in existence. He is completely incapable of making a film that DOESN'T look like a high school project. Why is this? Why is he so bad at making movies? The trailers look fan-made, I think I have that font in KidPix. His films carry no style, just point and shoot. The music is stolen. I am so tired of him ruing video games.

I thought he was going to retire?

I really hope you were kidding, Cronos, because if you weren't, you are the dumbest person surfing this website.

Fuck Uwe Boll. Fuck him up his stupid ass.
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4:19PM on 02/14/2008
Woooooooo, this is going to be awesome, with Postal coming out at some point in the future (hopefully) and this, I'm set for the year. :D
Woooooooo, this is going to be awesome, with Postal coming out at some point in the future (hopefully) and this, I'm set for the year. :D
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4:07PM on 02/14/2008
Nothing from this trailer looked even remotely like Far Cry. All of Boll's movies look like Sci-Fi channel rejects.

Who the fuck out there is keeping this asshole making movies? Not even Satan is that cold blooded.
Nothing from this trailer looked even remotely like Far Cry. All of Boll's movies look like Sci-Fi channel rejects.

Who the fuck out there is keeping this asshole making movies? Not even Satan is that cold blooded.
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4:03PM on 02/14/2008
i stopped watching after the batman theme started to play.. already fails. And i see by the comments. I'm right.
i stopped watching after the batman theme started to play.. already fails. And i see by the comments. I'm right.
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3:15PM on 02/14/2008
Good lord Uwe Boll needs to die a horrible death. Who keeps approving these pieces of shit?!?
Good lord Uwe Boll needs to die a horrible death. Who keeps approving these pieces of shit?!?
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3:07PM on 02/14/2008

OH MY GOD!!!!

Jesus of GOD!!! Uwe has destroyed ALL chances for truly awesome VIDEO GAMES adaptations!!!! AVP Requiem looks better than this crap!!! and AVP was CRAP!!!
Jesus of GOD!!! Uwe has destroyed ALL chances for truly awesome VIDEO GAMES adaptations!!!! AVP Requiem looks better than this crap!!! and AVP was CRAP!!!
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2:29PM on 02/14/2008

WTF? TIMES 1,000,000,000,000!

Holy fucking hell? Why are people still letting this retard make movies? He should be locked in a padded cell for what he's done. I'm so offended by that trailer that they would take music from "Batman Begins", "The Bourne Identity" and...."The Usual Suspects" and toss them in there. Boll should be fucking ashamed of himself.
Holy fucking hell? Why are people still letting this retard make movies? He should be locked in a padded cell for what he's done. I'm so offended by that trailer that they would take music from "Batman Begins", "The Bourne Identity" and...."The Usual Suspects" and toss them in there. Boll should be fucking ashamed of himself.
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2:21PM on 02/14/2008

Music in the beginning of the trailer

Is it me or is Uwe now stealing music from Batman Begins...?
Is it me or is Uwe now stealing music from Batman Begins...?
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2:01PM on 02/14/2008
One the one hand, it looks like it could be better than Boll's previous efforts. On the other, well, it's still Uwe Boll. And where are all the f*cking Trigens? This looks as much like "Far Cry" as the "Doom" movie looked liked, well, "Doom." Seriously, is it that hard to have killer mutated monkeys? "Congo" f*cking did it, why not this flick? Better question, why do I even care? It's not like the movie'll be any good, anyway.
One the one hand, it looks like it could be better than Boll's previous efforts. On the other, well, it's still Uwe Boll. And where are all the f*cking Trigens? This looks as much like "Far Cry" as the "Doom" movie looked liked, well, "Doom." Seriously, is it that hard to have killer mutated monkeys? "Congo" f*cking did it, why not this flick? Better question, why do I even care? It's not like the movie'll be any good, anyway.
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1:57PM on 02/14/2008

Why..

Why UWE?! WHY?!
This could have actually been better than a "Universal Soldier" movie! And yet alas it will not.
Sigh!
DAMN YOU MINIMUM 50 CHARACTERS!
Why UWE?! WHY?!
This could have actually been better than a "Universal Soldier" movie! And yet alas it will not.
Sigh!
DAMN YOU MINIMUM 50 CHARACTERS!
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