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Face-Off: Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels vs. Snatch

08.10.2015by: Brian Bitner
Guy Ritchie didn't exactly become the holy shit superstar his first two films led us to expect, with SWEPT AWAY, REVOLVER, and ROCKNROLLA receiving only moderate attention and mixed to negative reviews. Stepping slightly away from his usual fare, the auteur regained momentum with two well-received SHERLOCK HOLMES films and returns this weekend with THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. There's nothing like your first time, though (or your second time if Brad Pitt's involved), so this week it's the question you debated with your friends in college: LOCK, STOCK, & TWO SMOKING BARRELS or SNATCH?
CAST
PLOT
When a high stakes game of three card brag goes awry, Eddy, Tom, Soap and Bacon find themselves seriously indebted to Hatchet Harry, a dangerous porn king. Overhearing a heist being planned next door, the lads plan a counter-heist on their neighbors. Meanwhile, every other small time criminal in town ends up on the wrong side of one scheme or another. Eventually, everyone runs afoul of everyone else, and various bloodbaths ensue.

This one definitely gets points for ambition, but the overlapping plot points can be a bit overwhelming.
When a caravan purchase goes awry, Turkish and Tommy find themselves seriously indebted to Brick Top, a dangerous underground fighting kingpin. Seeing the potential of Mickey, one of the caravan-slinging pikeys, the lads plan to replace their prize fighter. Meanwhile, every other small time criminal in town (along with some international ones) ends up on the wrong side of a diamond heist. Eventually, everyone runs afoul of everyone else, and various bloodbaths ensue.

In contrast, the plot here isn't as audacious, but the result is a story that's more well-paced and easy to swallow (see what I did there?).
QUOTES
"Armed with what?"
"Err, bad breath, colorful language, feather duster... what do you think they're gonna be armed with? Guns, you tit!"

"You asked for a cocktail."
"No. I asked you to give me a refreshing drink. I wasn't expecting a f*cking rainforest! You could fall in love with an orangutan in that!"

"Charles, get the rifle out. We're being f*cked."

"There's no money, there's no weed. It's all been replaced by a pile of corpses."

"I don't know. What I do know is there's no more Harry. Which means there's no more debt. And if there's no more debt, there's no more problem. And there's no problem with the neighbors... because they're all dead. And I think, if I get this right, we haven't done anything wrong... we're in the clear."

"It's been emotional."
"You can call me Susan if it makes you happy."

"Proper f*cked?"

"Protection from what? Ze Germans?"

"Avi, pull your socks up!"

"Tyrone, you silly fat bastard."

"What do you mean 'look in the dog?'"

"For every action, there is a reaction. And a pikey reaction... is quite a f*cking thing."

"Have you ever crossed the road, and looked the wrong way? A car's nearly on you? So what do you do? Something very silly. You freeze. Your life doesn't flash before you, 'cause you're too f*ckin' scared to think - you just freeze and pull a stupid face. But the pikey didn't. Why? Because he had plans of running the car over."
FINALE
A shootout between Dog's crew and Rory Breaker's crew leaves almost everyone dead. Big Chris recovers the guns and money and delivers them to Hatchet Harry. Gary and Dean burst clumsily into Harry's office, getting themselves, Harry, and Barry the Baptist killed in the process. Tom, Soap, Bacon, and Eddy realize they no longer owe anyone anything. Finally, Chris tips them off to the value of their guns, which are on their way to the bottom of the Thames.
A shootout between Cousin Avi, Boris the Blade, Bullet-Tooth Tony, Sol, Vinny, and Tyrone results in a dead Boris, a dead Tony, an arrested Sol, Vinny, and Tyrone, an escaped dog with a diamond in his stomach, and Avi on the first plane back to America. Turkish and Tommy escape Brick Top by the skin of their teeth when Mickey and the pikeys execute a merciless revenge. Turkish and Tommy recover the dog and the diamond as Avi flies back to London for a brand new cluster f*ck.
BOX OFFICE & ACCOLADES
Domestic Gross: $3,753,929 ($23,316 per theater)
IMDB: 8.2
Metacritic: 66 (user score: 8.5)
Rotten Tomatoes: 76%
Domestic Gross: $30,328,156 ($21,002 per theater)
IMDB: 8.3
Metacritic: 55 (user score: 8.8)
Rotten Tomatoes: 73%
SNATCH
I love both these movies, and I won't even say I prefer one to the other, but when you pick them apart piece by piece, SNATCH is more technically adept and a bit more fun. Some would argue that bringing Hollywood stars and a bigger budget into the mix just makes SNATCH the mainstream version of LOCK, STOCK, & TWO SMOKING BARRELS, but I'd argue that we'd have a lot more Benicio and an intelligible Pitt if that were the intention. Out of interest, which is your favorite AND which one did you see first? I'm curious how often the answer to those two questions is the same.

No matter what, I'm definitely happy Guy Ritchie is still in the game. THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. hits theaters this weekend, and KNIGHTS OF THE ROUNDTABLE: KING ARTHUR is currently slated for July 22, 2016.

Agree? Disagree? Which do you prefer?
POST YOUR CHOICE BELOW!

If you have a suggestion for a future Face-Off, let us know below or send me an email at brianbitner@joblo.com.

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