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Guru getting slammed

06.20.2008

Things aren't going so well for Mike Myers and THE LOVE GURU. His latest comedy (and his first live-action role since 2003's THE CAT IN THE HAT) is getting a critical beat down already attaining one of the worst Tomatometer ratings of the year at Rotten Tomatoes (they should thank their lucky stars for MEET THE SPARTANS). It's not just that critics aren't liking the movie. No, they're taking perverse glee in describing how much they don't like it. I scoured the web and came up with some of my favorite quotes from critics who try and describe just how bad THE LOVE GURU is (to be fair, our own JimmyO sort of didn't hate it):

A.O. Scott, The New York Times - To say that the movie is not funny is merely to affirm the obvious. The word “unfunny” surely applies to Mr. Myers’s obnoxious attempts to find mirth in physical and cultural differences but does not quite capture the strenuous unpleasantness of his performance. No, THE LOVE GURU is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again.

Harry Knowles, Ain't It Cool News - With this film, Myers puts a shotgun in the mouth of comedy and kills it...THE LOVE GURU is one of the most inept pathetic terrifyingly awful experiences I've ever suffered through.

Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times - This film could have been written on toilet walls by callow adolescents...Even [Myers'] fellow actors seem to realize no one is laughing. That’s impossible, because they can’t hear the audience, but it looks uncannily like they can, and don’t.

Dana Stevens, Slate - "There are good movies. There are bad movies. There are movies so bad they're good (though, strangely, not the reverse). And once in a while there is a movie so bad that it takes you to a place beyond good and evil and abandons you there, shivering and alone...It's difficult to get across just how unfunny the jokes in THE LOVE GURU are."

Kyle Smith, The New York Post - If this movie were a president, it would be Tedious Roosevelt.

Joe Neuimaier, The New York Daily News - Let's not pussyfoot around: THE LOVE GURU is an atrocious, idiotic 88 minutes of anti-entertainment. To borrow word-shtick from the guru Pitka, it's AWFUL as in, "Anyone Watching Feels, Um, Loser-ish."

Brian Lowry, Variety - THE LOVE GURU is so relentlessly juvenile as to merit a new twist on the PG-13 rating -- one that strongly cautions not only those under 13 but anyone much above it, too.

Stephanie Zacharek, Salon.com - THE LOVE GURU is offensive to pretty much anyone with a brain.

Ken Fox, TV Guide - Adam Sandler can breathe a sigh of relief: Thanks to this crude, bafflingly unfunny comedy from fellow SNL alum Mike Myers, Sandler can rest assured that his YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN won't go down as the worst movie of 2008.

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4:33PM on 06/23/2008
So I guess these reviewers have already wiped "The Happening" from their minds, then? Impressive.
So I guess these reviewers have already wiped "The Happening" from their minds, then? Impressive.
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1:54AM on 06/21/2008

Justin should stay away from acting

The boy has no talent for acting
The boy has no talent for acting
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7:47PM on 06/20/2008
Well hopefully this'll be the final nail in the coffin for Justin Timberlake's acting career. Then at least one good thing would come of this movie.
Well hopefully this'll be the final nail in the coffin for Justin Timberlake's acting career. Then at least one good thing would come of this movie.
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5:16PM on 06/20/2008

WOW

I just feel bad for Justin. Mike can take a hit to the balls, Justin however might never act again.
I just feel bad for Justin. Mike can take a hit to the balls, Justin however might never act again.
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4:47PM on 06/20/2008

BAD OMEN

Well I guess the movie will make some money since comedies are the only money makers around other Super hero flicks. But I have a feeling that Jessica Alba is the kiss of death at box office. With the exception of fantastic 4 part 1 and Sin City she really has buried most of her movies at B.O.
Sad but defo am going to watch this movie. Meet The Spartans was ok.
Well I guess the movie will make some money since comedies are the only money makers around other Super hero flicks. But I have a feeling that Jessica Alba is the kiss of death at box office. With the exception of fantastic 4 part 1 and Sin City she really has buried most of her movies at B.O.
Sad but defo am going to watch this movie. Meet The Spartans was ok.
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4:28PM on 06/20/2008
Damn, harsh words. But expected.
Damn, harsh words. But expected.
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4:13PM on 06/20/2008

they're all right

i went to a screening for this movie knowing it didn't look good from the previews. Yeah, a screening, I wasn't going to pay money to see this movie. It was worse than I thought it be. It's BAD, LIKE REALLY BAD. I couldn't believe Myers had been gone for approximately 4 years, and he comes back with this pile of crap. They made a reference to Wayne's World and to Kanye West. Those were the only two times I chuckled, in times that had absolutely nothing to do with the storyline.
i went to a screening for this movie knowing it didn't look good from the previews. Yeah, a screening, I wasn't going to pay money to see this movie. It was worse than I thought it be. It's BAD, LIKE REALLY BAD. I couldn't believe Myers had been gone for approximately 4 years, and he comes back with this pile of crap. They made a reference to Wayne's World and to Kanye West. Those were the only two times I chuckled, in times that had absolutely nothing to do with the storyline.
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3:33PM on 06/20/2008

ouch

wow.. those are TERRIBLE reviews.
wow.. those are TERRIBLE reviews.
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3:15PM on 06/20/2008
HILARIOUS..the awful reviews, not the movie.
HILARIOUS..the awful reviews, not the movie.
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3:03PM on 06/20/2008
I kind of thought this one wasnt going to be so good when the previews for it felt like Austin Powers 4. Same jokes, over and over again...

But I will defenetly want to see this for my self. Is it as bad as they are making it out to be?
I kind of thought this one wasnt going to be so good when the previews for it felt like Austin Powers 4. Same jokes, over and over again...

But I will defenetly want to see this for my self. Is it as bad as they are making it out to be?
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2:47PM on 06/20/2008

no

it's not who you know; it's who you blow
it's not who you know; it's who you blow
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2:22PM on 06/20/2008

Johnny Moreno

Screenwriting is almost never about talent. It's 95% who you know. Trust me.
Screenwriting is almost never about talent. It's 95% who you know. Trust me.
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2:03PM on 06/20/2008

i guess im an idiot...

cause ive enjoyed almost everything Mike has done, including this. oh well.

i mean come on, opinions are as varied as there are people on earth. ultimately, i saw this movie as a re-hash of austin powers jokes.. and since i think the austin powers films are great then I knew what I was getting myself into. these reviewers seemed to think that Mike Myres was going to come back after all these years with some masterpiece work of comedy. No, he did the familiar, what works and maybe yes,
cause ive enjoyed almost everything Mike has done, including this. oh well.

i mean come on, opinions are as varied as there are people on earth. ultimately, i saw this movie as a re-hash of austin powers jokes.. and since i think the austin powers films are great then I knew what I was getting myself into. these reviewers seemed to think that Mike Myres was going to come back after all these years with some masterpiece work of comedy. No, he did the familiar, what works and maybe yes, easy humor he has done in the past. But dammit, i love it.

ok, im done.
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1:25PM on 06/20/2008
I actually thought it was a pretty decent movie. I laughed quite a few times.
I actually thought it was a pretty decent movie. I laughed quite a few times.
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12:56PM on 06/20/2008
I second that “wow”. The problem with this movie is that it’s nothing more than recycled Austin Powers jokes with a twist. You can probably change nothing more than the wardrobe and the accents, and it’s the same movie… for the 4th time.

And yes, people will see it, although I can’t possible imagine why. My question is who are these studio execs who see this crap (along with other obvious gems like Meet the Spartans, White Chicks and anything with Paris Hilton) and agree to finance and
I second that “wow”. The problem with this movie is that it’s nothing more than recycled Austin Powers jokes with a twist. You can probably change nothing more than the wardrobe and the accents, and it’s the same movie… for the 4th time.

And yes, people will see it, although I can’t possible imagine why. My question is who are these studio execs who see this crap (along with other obvious gems like Meet the Spartans, White Chicks and anything with Paris Hilton) and agree to finance and distribute them? If you’re in the movie business, shouldn’t you like and know something about movies and fans? I guess it isn’t a requirement.
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12:48PM on 06/20/2008
That anyone, anywhere, thought reviews for this film would be any different is the only funny thing about it. The only funny thing.

When will such shit disappear?

Maybe when the measure for a film's success is "it'll make some money" goes?

Nah.


That anyone, anywhere, thought reviews for this film would be any different is the only funny thing about it. The only funny thing.

When will such shit disappear?

Maybe when the measure for a film's success is "it'll make some money" goes?

Nah.


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12:34PM on 06/20/2008
wow. I'm sure it will make some money though I mean, people went to see Meet the Spartans.
wow. I'm sure it will make some money though I mean, people went to see Meet the Spartans.
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11:52AM on 06/20/2008

Don't hate the critics

"i never listen to critics, because simply... alot of them (read: most of them) are pompous, arrogant ass holes who think only their opinions matter. "

Will all due respect Skynet, I think that's an easy cliche. Are the music reviewers at Pitchfork arrogant? Sure. Is Roger Ebert too stuck up to like a popcorn flick? I don't think so. The most widely read critics are typically populist.

Rejecting the opinions outright of reviewers who are retained based on their understanding of films
"i never listen to critics, because simply... alot of them (read: most of them) are pompous, arrogant ass holes who think only their opinions matter. "

Will all due respect Skynet, I think that's an easy cliche. Are the music reviewers at Pitchfork arrogant? Sure. Is Roger Ebert too stuck up to like a popcorn flick? I don't think so. The most widely read critics are typically populist.

Rejecting the opinions outright of reviewers who are retained based on their understanding of films and ability to provide cogent reasons for their opinions, is just as kneejerk as picking every sunday matinee choice based on the latest garbage that Gene Shalit was paid to convulse over.

That argument reminds me of my buddy who told me back in college that he never listened to any news, because the entire media consisted of liars. Every one. Rather than use his reasoning skills to sift good intel from bad - he volunteered to be ignorant. Not to mention insulting an entire class of professionals, by assuming that they have no integrity by reason of their occupation.

Aside from the fun of reading entertaining cheap shots from critics who tee up on sewage like Battlefield Earth, reviews are also a useful tool. Pick the right critics and you can triangulate a lot about a movie experience.

Much can be said about avoiding reviews to go into a movie without any preconceived notions - but that case can be easily made with demonizing the large number of talented reviewers who treat their task and their audience with respect... like JoBlo himself, or the Arrow. I didn't see any "present company excluded" disclaimer, so I am assuming you are logjamming them into the same crude pigeonhole as Arts & Living critics from Slate and the Utne Reader.

And for the purpose of their reviews, yes, only their opinions matter. They aren't paid to find out how earnest the director was, or to conduct a focus group to see how other people felt about the movie. They are paid because there is a demand for their subjective interpretation of quality. Interpretations that will get people to avoid "Love Guru", but also get them out of their houses to go see a tiny art house flick called "Kung Fu Panda". I'm sure any reviewer with a decent circulation will tell you, being a film snob is fun, but it doesn't pay well.

We'll I guess you can take you blanket accusation of film critics being "ass holes" and just put that on me, because I think I just "went off" - my apologies for that. Oh well, I see that argument all the time, hate the laziness behind it, and decided to get a little nutty.


- and DerekL1: we're on the same page... from the first glimpse of the earliest teasers, this dog has been radiating shit like a meteor that fell to earth from the planet Feces. I think if every ticket came with a chance to punch Mike Myers right in the grill, wearing that stupid make up, they might have a decent opening weekend.
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11:35AM on 06/20/2008

critics are right

Critics are right when they ALL say something bad, I have been telling my friends since I saw the first preview that this movie looked so f'ing stupid. Mike Myers was funny in Austin Powers 2, and it was only funny the first time I saw it, other then that he is stupid. And speaking of stupid who the hell is jessica albas agent, that guy needs to be fired, the girl is hot find her a movie thats decent. ps - i watched hot shots this morning on hbo, now thats a funny movie. more on love guru,
Critics are right when they ALL say something bad, I have been telling my friends since I saw the first preview that this movie looked so f'ing stupid. Mike Myers was funny in Austin Powers 2, and it was only funny the first time I saw it, other then that he is stupid. And speaking of stupid who the hell is jessica albas agent, that guy needs to be fired, the girl is hot find her a movie thats decent. ps - i watched hot shots this morning on hbo, now thats a funny movie. more on love guru, just looking at this character pisses me off
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11:34AM on 06/20/2008

tedious roosevelt

"I wonder how many people will get Kyle Smith's comment..."

You mean the 1916 lampooning of former president "Col. Tedious Roosevelt" by popular WWI era cartoonist Wallace A. Carson?

I wonder how many people are bored enough on a friday morning to bother googling Kyle Smith's reference...

If you mean its simply a play on Teddy Roosevelt, I would hope at least most Americans on this site would recognize that... although many people here are genuinely excited to see "Wanted", and liked
"I wonder how many people will get Kyle Smith's comment..."

You mean the 1916 lampooning of former president "Col. Tedious Roosevelt" by popular WWI era cartoonist Wallace A. Carson?

I wonder how many people are bored enough on a friday morning to bother googling Kyle Smith's reference...

If you mean its simply a play on Teddy Roosevelt, I would hope at least most Americans on this site would recognize that... although many people here are genuinely excited to see "Wanted", and liked "The Boondock Saints", so maybe I'm too optimistic...
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11:32AM on 06/20/2008
i never listen to critics, because simply... alot of them (read: most of them) are pompous, arrogant ass holes who think only their opinions matter. The trailers for this, i thought, looked pretty funny, Myers has this brand of humor that is distinctly his own, and i happen to enjoy that humor, so i will be seeing this... The critics are people like i went ot school with: they are all into that Indy movie, or that Foreign movie... and they barely ever give anything mainstream a try!
i never listen to critics, because simply... alot of them (read: most of them) are pompous, arrogant ass holes who think only their opinions matter. The trailers for this, i thought, looked pretty funny, Myers has this brand of humor that is distinctly his own, and i happen to enjoy that humor, so i will be seeing this... The critics are people like i went ot school with: they are all into that Indy movie, or that Foreign movie... and they barely ever give anything mainstream a try!
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11:21AM on 06/20/2008
"This film could have been written on toilet walls by callow adolescents..."


So I have a chance at screenwriting. Nice!
"This film could have been written on toilet walls by callow adolescents..."


So I have a chance at screenwriting. Nice!
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11:19AM on 06/20/2008

Good!

Maybe, somebody will start making funny movies again.
Maybe, somebody will start making funny movies again.
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11:14AM on 06/20/2008

This movie

Looked like garbage to begin with anyway. I'm glad it's getting it's response. Maybe Mike Myers can actually TRY something different now...
Looked like garbage to begin with anyway. I'm glad it's getting it's response. Maybe Mike Myers can actually TRY something different now...
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11:01AM on 06/20/2008

Hey

I wonder how many people will get Kyle Smith's comment...
I wonder how many people will get Kyle Smith's comment...
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9:54AM on 06/20/2008

Wow

Those are some bad reviews. Even Knowles and Ebert are pounding him. Well, Myers is a funny guy but maybe he should leave the writing to someone else for a little while.
Those are some bad reviews. Even Knowles and Ebert are pounding him. Well, Myers is a funny guy but maybe he should leave the writing to someone else for a little while.
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9:46AM on 06/20/2008
Unfunny cause it's typical Myers? Or, unfunny cause it makes fun of Hindu's, therefore, it must be politically correct, unfunny? I'll guess the first, cause Myers hasn't been funny since Axe Murderer.
Unfunny cause it's typical Myers? Or, unfunny cause it makes fun of Hindu's, therefore, it must be politically correct, unfunny? I'll guess the first, cause Myers hasn't been funny since Axe Murderer.
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