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Hasbro talks shop

08.07.2009

I’m not going to mince words here, I think this newfound concept of adapting children’s toys into video games is the worst thing to happen to the movie industry in years. No, not “you know, if they do it right, there’s potential there,” not “if they get the right people on it,” not any of that. It’s just terribly lazy filmmaking, and it’s sucking up cash from more worthy projects (like superhero sequels!).

But because the TRANSFORMERS series has plundered the world of cash, now everything you’ve ever touched as a child is being turned into a film, and who’s reaping the benefit? That would be Hasbro, who has a massive slate of licensed movies coming out in the future with concepts ranging from eye-rolling to flat-out insane. Collider recently caught up with Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner, and he talked briefly about each of the upcoming projects. See if he does anything to change your mind.

On Ridley Scott’s MONOPOLY:

“Monopoly” has this wonderful history. If you’ll remember, “Monopoly” was literally invented at The [Great] Depression, so that idea, this fiction that’s really there, this non-fiction fiction that’s really there in the game and in the fact that there’s such great roots to this brand and the history of the brand, we bring this to life with a story about families."

On CANDY LAND:

"Well, “Candy Land” is not just about the board game. If you really think about it, it’s an adventure that a kid goes on with his parents when they go across that board. It’s an adventure game so think of that as the beginning point and take off from there.

On BATTLESHIP:

"Oh, I’m not going to tell you quite yet but I will say that it’s everything you could imagine in a “Battleship” movie. It’s really a phenomenal idea."

On STRETCH ARMSTRONG:

"Stretching as a superpower brings a lot of humor to the idea so imagine a big humorous super-powered, super-human kind of movie."

This isn’t a “C’mon Hollywood” column so I won’t rant any further. I’ll leave that to you instead.

Extra Tidbit: In a few years I fully expect a round of movies based on cartoon cereal box characters.
Source: Collider

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11:28AM on 08/09/2009

Wheres Tic-Tac-Throw: The Movie?

I can't wait for the battle of world domination being controlled by a game of Tic-Tac-Throw, starring John Malkovitch and Denzel Washington.
I can't wait for the battle of world domination being controlled by a game of Tic-Tac-Throw, starring John Malkovitch and Denzel Washington.
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7:14AM on 08/09/2009
Battleships the movie? Seriously?
That's not even a story, is it?
Sure you can make a film about ships and their crews in naval warfare, but the toy license is idiotic. Really, really dumb.
Battleships the movie? Seriously?
That's not even a story, is it?
Sure you can make a film about ships and their crews in naval warfare, but the toy license is idiotic. Really, really dumb.
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2:53AM on 08/09/2009

luke319

Because, The whole story of, say, the Battleships movie will be completely upon the writers to come up with. That means that they could develop a good naval warfare film on their own merrits - not just riding the back of a name people already recognize, thus eliminating the cost of most of the marketing to feed their dumb CGI waves and the pay cheque of Channing Tatum and Hayden Pant-whatever from Heroes.
I really hate that they can't take some talented writers idea of a children's adventure
Because, The whole story of, say, the Battleships movie will be completely upon the writers to come up with. That means that they could develop a good naval warfare film on their own merrits - not just riding the back of a name people already recognize, thus eliminating the cost of most of the marketing to feed their dumb CGI waves and the pay cheque of Channing Tatum and Hayden Pant-whatever from Heroes.
I really hate that they can't take some talented writers idea of a children's adventure or military movie or whatever (You know there'd be a Murder of them out there) and produce that. Fucking Bay and his Transformers. People are idiots, especially the kind of people I hear that LOVE transformers 2. They should be banned from contributing to a films grossing.
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12:16AM on 08/08/2009

WOW!

WTF is this world coming to?
WTF is this world coming to?
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10:15PM on 08/07/2009

Honestly not all of these are terrible ideas

Like HoyleHaw said, seriously why couldn't Candy Land become a great kid's movie? Why can't Battleship be a cool little naval warfare movie? I mean there's nothing saying these movies have to suck. Like any other movie premise, it will depend on who's hands they fall into.
Like HoyleHaw said, seriously why couldn't Candy Land become a great kid's movie? Why can't Battleship be a cool little naval warfare movie? I mean there's nothing saying these movies have to suck. Like any other movie premise, it will depend on who's hands they fall into.
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7:38PM on 08/07/2009

Typical

Has anyone else noticed that the most mind boggling stupid people in the world are almost always CEO's?
Has anyone else noticed that the most mind boggling stupid people in the world are almost always CEO's?
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7:17PM on 08/07/2009
I'm actually surprised they haven't made a movie for those lovable M&Ms yet. But no, seriously, Candy Land at least sounds like a kid-friendly adventure along the lines of "Alice in Wonderland" or "Wizard of Oz." Stretch Armstrong aside (that one's just plain gonna suck, CGI big-time), the others have some promise but need bitchin' screnplays to work well at all.
I'm actually surprised they haven't made a movie for those lovable M&Ms yet. But no, seriously, Candy Land at least sounds like a kid-friendly adventure along the lines of "Alice in Wonderland" or "Wizard of Oz." Stretch Armstrong aside (that one's just plain gonna suck, CGI big-time), the others have some promise but need bitchin' screnplays to work well at all.
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5:28PM on 08/07/2009
PEZ by george romero!
PEZ by george romero!
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4:48PM on 08/07/2009
PLAY-DOH!!!!!!
PLAY-DOH!!!!!!
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3:55PM on 08/07/2009
Captain Crunch and the Curse of the Bad Marshmallow!

Starring Johnny Depp as Capt. Crunch. He'll have dredlocks at first, maybe a drunken stagger, and a compass that doesn't work....oh, wait........
Captain Crunch and the Curse of the Bad Marshmallow!

Starring Johnny Depp as Capt. Crunch. He'll have dredlocks at first, maybe a drunken stagger, and a compass that doesn't work....oh, wait........
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3:11PM on 08/07/2009
Quisp the movie. FTW!
Quisp the movie. FTW!
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3:02PM on 08/07/2009
Count Chocula, bitches.
Count Chocula, bitches.
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2:50PM on 08/07/2009
I honestly think these can make good movies, movies that are definetly better than the Transformers movies. Especially 'MonopolY' with Ridley Scott, and 'Battleship' (submarines bombing each other can definetly be fun on screen and the story writes itself eg. the US and the USSR's battle culminates in an underwater war where they each bomb each others' ships)
I honestly think these can make good movies, movies that are definetly better than the Transformers movies. Especially 'MonopolY' with Ridley Scott, and 'Battleship' (submarines bombing each other can definetly be fun on screen and the story writes itself eg. the US and the USSR's battle culminates in an underwater war where they each bomb each others' ships)
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2:48PM on 08/07/2009
Lucky Charms will be the first one outta the gate.
Lucky Charms will be the first one outta the gate.
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