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07.27.2011by: Jim Law

Comic Con Hotties vs. Geeks (2011)

In honor of all the brave souls that dress up like assholes at this thing I'm going to add a disclaimer this year. In no way does this list represent the overall level of hotness or geekiness. For every 10 pics I take there are 100 more I didn't run into that day. These are the ones I just happen to see when I wasn't waiting in some fucking epic line of death or getting bombed with Arrow by the pool. And I'm not going to try and find any characters name that I don't already know. I'm lazy and I find it funny when you yell at me. Thanks to Nick for some of these shots. Let's roll.

Tron Masturbating Bear vs. Veiny McGross Hips

AAAAAAAAAH! Not a good start for the hotties. Nobody should lose to Tron Masturbating Bear. Ever. But this chick(?) decides to throw on a bandana around her crotch and a light-skin Wesley Snipes mask and thinks she's the shit? Wrong. Hotties-0 Geeks-1

Judge Dredd vs. The Black Camel Toe

I can't tell if my camera was trying to tell me something by blurring this chick's face out or if I was too distracted by the silky-smooth ferociousness of her many hills and valleys. I was going to go Dredd here but then I noticed he's charging $40 for a fucking t-shirt. Wow, a limited edition?!? Eat a dick. Hotties-1 Geeks-1

Bat-Man vs. Power Muff

I didn't realize this year's contest was going to be so crotch themed. And what do you mean that's not Batman? Looks pretty straight-forward to me. It looks like this chick kind of nailed the whole Power Girl costume. Except....... um.... I don't remember her vagina being so chubby. Uncalled for, I know. For that she wins. Hotties-2 Geeks-1

Silver Six-Pack vs. Andy's Wet Dream

If you're familiar with me from this site over the years you know who the favorite to win is here. And if you're not, I'm disappointed in you quite frankly. Call me. Here's the thing though, those girls look like they could be 12. Or they could be 25. I'm horrible at telling that shit. So, for confusing me and making me feel uncomfortable for a few seconds, they are officially disqualified. Hotties-2 Geeks-2

Harley Dawg vs. Harley Quinn

This is a lot closer than you think. That dog was awesome. He fired around our lobby banging into shit without a care in the world. Quinn is hot as hell but she's got uber-douche-Joker draped all over her and that really bothers me. Buddy, look at that statue directly behind you. You're doing it wrong. I'm still going to have to go with the hottie though because a) he probably didn't pick out his own costume and b) He's not even allowed into the Comic Con. Hotties-3 Geeks-2

Fuzzy Wuzzy Knob Licker vs. The Invisible MILF

Fuzzy tried to gain some extra points by hanging with that hottie behind him but, in the end, it didn't matter. I was crushing on Invisible MILF big time the instant I saw her. Just a delightful little lady taking some time out for pictures with idiots while promoting home-made porn, Hotties-4 Geeks-2

Billy Borg vs. Betty Baroness

Now THIS is a battle! They both look great so it all had to come down to work ethic. Baroness looks like she went on the internet and ordered a Baroness costume. Borg looks like he spent a year mixing together shit from his wife's craft closet and the junk drawers from his garage. Hotties-4 Geeks-3

Boba Badass vs. Slave Leias #s 912 & 913

Two of the most seen costumes of all time at Comic Con battle it out for annual STAR WARS geek superiority. Even the double-team from the Leias can't distract from the awesomeness of that Fett costume. And that hip tattoo is kind of trashy. Hotties-4 Geeks-4

Mr. Cobblepot vs. X-Woman

If it looks like that chick is saying "Duuuuuurrrrhhh" it's because she is. She also spelled "S" wrong. I love the Asian Penguin dude. He looked in the mirror and said I guess I'm going to be the Penguin again. And then owned it. Hotties-4 Geeks-5

Mini-M.I.B. vs. A Half-shaved Wookie

There's no doubt that Chewbacca bitch is smoking hot but those two little dudes were awesome. I'm not even going to subtract any points for that retarded paper mache thing sitting on his shoulder. Look, this could have went either way but then we would have a tie. Nobody wants a tie. Good God, I'd hit that Wookie. She'd be picking me out her fur for weeks.

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