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06.29.2012by: Jim Law

The Ten Spot: The 5 Best & Worst Things About The Original Spider-Man Trilogy

There are many, MANY mediocre/decent things about the original Spidey movies. The suit (slick from a distance yet dorky when intimate with it's air-brushed on abs), Harry Osborn (except when he loses his memory in part 3 and becomes a retard), Aunt May and Uncle Ben, the special effects, the score, and, of course, the Bruce Campbell cameos. I'm here to share what I absolutely loved and what I passionately hated about the films. Here's hoping THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN has more hits than misses next weekend. Let's start with the best.

Best: Mary Jane's Rack

MAry Jane is a saucy bitch in (most) of the comics so it was cool of them to give her more than enough sex appeal. It's a little awkward watching the rain scene with my kids but I appreciate it nonetheless. You notice how the boobs disappear the deeper into the series we go? Bullshit. As I'll explain later, this was M.J.'s one redeeming factor. Peter had hit the jackpot, and then she changer her contract.

Best: The Origin Story

Sure, there are some details that are passed over without blinking (making the suit, for one) but when it come to telling the beginning of Spidey, Raimi seemed to take careful pride in getting all the details spot-on. Now, it all goes to shit in part 3 when he basically destroys everything he accomplished here by throwing Sandman in the mix, but the effort was there. For a while anyway. The wrestling match is fun. His first swing about town is cool. The fight with Flash still holds up. It's all very..... spectacular. BOOM!

Best: The Final Green Goblin Fight

No one-liners. No over-the-top CGI (silly back flip aside), No fucking around. Gobby and Spidey throw hands like champs in this scene and it brings a realism to the film that was sorely missing throughout. As long as you can get past that stupid mask you can sit back and enjoy one of the best superhero fights of all time.

Best: J. Jonah Jameson

Nobody nails their character better than J. K. Simmons. It's literally the comic book come to life, only funnier. In a franchise filled with bigger than life characters, this is the only one I can't picture being played by someone else. Ever.

Best: Doctor Octopus

The character as a whole is fantastic. More specifically, the scene above is where, as the kids say, shit got real with this series. The Gobby fight was brutal and hardcore but the surgery scene in SPIDER-MAN 2 was everything I ever expected from Sam Raimi in directing a Spider-Man film. It's scary, violent, perfectly filmed, and I always appreciate a nod to THE EVIL DEAD films in any shape or form. I honestly believe this is the best moment in all three films. What of it?

Worst: Organic Web-Shooters

I kind of got used to this in the first film. In the second film though this idea was directly responsible for the downfall of the series. Let me explain. The worst plot line in part 2 was Peter losing his powers because he wasn't focused enough (seriously?). This led to him quitting the Spider-Man dealio. This led to the 'Raindrops Falling On My Head' musical sequence. This led to the craptastic emo douchbaggery musical sequence of the third movie (much more on this later). This is all so dumb. We know this has been righted in the re-boot and has already given us one of the coolest scenes of the trailers. We also know spiders don`t shoot webs out of their limbs. They shoot them out of their bums. I would have been okay with this.

Worst: Venom/Eddie Brock

If Todd McFarlane happened to bring a loaded gun to his screening of this film, how many people would have died? Topher Grace? Why did he even audition for the part? Why does he have fangs? Why are they compressing his entire story-line into 9 minutes of screen time in a film that is over 2 hours and 10 minutes? There's so many ridiculously stupid questions about this whole disaster. Yes, I know Raimi didn't want to include the character and was basically forced to use him by the studio. So why take it out on the fans? Does making your movie one long shitty joke prove a point in Hollywood? I guess.

Worst: Dancing Emo Douchebag Peter Parker

You can probably tell by now but I despise SPIDER-MAN 3. Simply put - this is one of the most painfully embarrassing sequences of cinema I have ever sat through. Just wretched on every level. It's not funny, goofy, silly, playful, or cute. It's fucking stupid, and we are all stupider for having watched it.

Worst: The Green Goblin's Costume

There are a lot of things I like about Gobby. Willam Dafoe does a pretty good job ad Norman Osborn. The glider is cool enough, as are the pumpkin bombs and his overall evilness. So what the fuck happened with his wardrobe? When you can walk into any Halloween store in the world and find a cooler outfit than the one you've picked for your main villain, you are not spending your budget properly.

Worst: Mary Jane Watson

What a miserable bitch. By the time she loses it on Peter in part 3 because every conversation isn't about her and Gwen Stacey gave him "our kiss", Spider-Man had saved her life single handedly no less than 3 times. Not to mention the hundreds of other people he saved while you worked on your lines. There's no doubt in my mind that she is the worst thing about these films. Every one of them ends with her dumb ass getting taken hostage and relentlessly screaming for 20 minutes. She keeps a boyfriend no longer than 4 scenes in any movie, can't sing worth shit, and freaks me out when she smiles. Bring on Gwen.
Tags: The Ten Spot

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10:52AM on 07/01/2012

You missed somethng obvious from the WORST list:

The trilogy led to a sucky reboot.
The trilogy led to a sucky reboot.
Your Reply:



4:07PM on 06/30/2012
I can at least understand why he went with Topher Grace for Venom. He was going for a carbon copy of Peter Parker only one who didn't have the same morals and sense of responsibility. However that doesn't mean it worked though.
I can at least understand why he went with Topher Grace for Venom. He was going for a carbon copy of Peter Parker only one who didn't have the same morals and sense of responsibility. However that doesn't mean it worked though.
Your Reply:



4:00PM on 06/30/2012
I agree 100%. That's probably the reason they didn't bother to put J Jonah in the new one. Good move on their part since J.K. Simmons was perfect.
I agree 100%. That's probably the reason they didn't bother to put J Jonah in the new one. Good move on their part since J.K. Simmons was perfect.
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3:37PM on 06/30/2012
What Ive heard is Dafoe is responsible for the design, he didnt like the previous one
What Ive heard is Dafoe is responsible for the design, he didnt like the previous one
Your Reply:



9:28AM on 06/30/2012
This is just as bad as putting nipples on Batman
This is just as bad as putting nipples on Batman
Your Reply:



10:58PM on 06/29/2012
I agree & this scene still gives me chills every time
I agree & this scene still gives me chills every time
Your Reply:



10:50PM on 06/29/2012
The problem with the way Mary Jane was portrayed in the trilogy was simply cause she was always just the typical Damsel in distress & her whole storyline really slowed down the movies, especially the 3rd movie. it's a film about Spider-Man, no one cares if this chick can't keep a job.
The problem with the way Mary Jane was portrayed in the trilogy was simply cause she was always just the typical Damsel in distress & her whole storyline really slowed down the movies, especially the 3rd movie. it's a film about Spider-Man, no one cares if this chick can't keep a job.
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10:47PM on 06/29/2012
The problem was the giant mask not the whole costume.
The problem was the giant mask not the whole costume.
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10:45PM on 06/29/2012
I truly believe the whole emo peter parker subplot was Sam Raimi saying fuck you to the studios & fanboys. THAT'S my guess.
I truly believe the whole emo peter parker subplot was Sam Raimi saying fuck you to the studios & fanboys. THAT'S my guess.
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10:43PM on 06/29/2012
You can easily blame fanboys and the studio for wanting Venom in this trilogy. In other words we have no one to blame for Spider-Man 3 but ourselves.
You can easily blame fanboys and the studio for wanting Venom in this trilogy. In other words we have no one to blame for Spider-Man 3 but ourselves.
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10:05PM on 06/29/2012
I can't stand it when the Green Goblin says "Oh" when he's about to cop it. It makes me cringe so much...
I can't stand it when the Green Goblin says "Oh" when he's about to cop it. It makes me cringe so much...
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5:35PM on 06/29/2012

"What a miserable bitch."

That shit made me laugh. So humorously true! Mary Jane was badly miscast with her weird mannerisms and expressions and not to mention they wrote the character so badly that you almost didnt want her with Peter. Let me rephrase that. DEFINITELY didnt want her with Peter. It's true, why the fuck did Peter love her, just for her rack?? To top it off, she was a slut.
That shit made me laugh. So humorously true! Mary Jane was badly miscast with her weird mannerisms and expressions and not to mention they wrote the character so badly that you almost didnt want her with Peter. Let me rephrase that. DEFINITELY didnt want her with Peter. It's true, why the fuck did Peter love her, just for her rack?? To top it off, she was a slut.
Your Reply:



5:31PM on 06/29/2012
A problem with Raimi's flicks is that they never really showed how brilliant Peter was. Sure, they showed him answering questions in Doc Connors class and shooting the science shit with Osborn and Octavius, but showing him having the ingenuity to create a new substance to act as webs and a device to shoot them would've really driven it home.
A problem with Raimi's flicks is that they never really showed how brilliant Peter was. Sure, they showed him answering questions in Doc Connors class and shooting the science shit with Osborn and Octavius, but showing him having the ingenuity to create a new substance to act as webs and a device to shoot them would've really driven it home.
Your Reply:



4:30PM on 06/29/2012
Double post
Double post
Your Reply:



4:25PM on 06/29/2012
If you spray it grey and put a black cape around it, it almost looks like Batman's suit in the Nolan films.
If you spray it grey and put a black cape around it, it almost looks like Batman's suit in the Nolan films.
Your Reply:



4:23PM on 06/29/2012
My guess...
Studio: Fan's what the black costume in the film. It makes his character act evil.
Raimi: Emo! Sounds good!
My guess...
Studio: Fan's what the black costume in the film. It makes his character act evil.
Raimi: Emo! Sounds good!
Your Reply:



4:19PM on 06/29/2012
What always bothered me about Raimi's explanation for not having web shooters was that he didn't think the audience would believe a high school kid could create them and yet we were supposed to believe he could create his costume!
What always bothered me about Raimi's explanation for not having web shooters was that he didn't think the audience would believe a high school kid could create them and yet we were supposed to believe he could create his costume!
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3:32PM on 06/29/2012

You Nailed it!!

The only thing i would add is the scene in Spider-Man 2 where Spiderman stops the train. The last half of it is cool but the first half where he is stopping a train buy shooting all his webs and then dragging his feet along the tracks?? Come on Spiderman doesnt have rock hard skin so how are his feet not cut off??
The only thing i would add is the scene in Spider-Man 2 where Spiderman stops the train. The last half of it is cool but the first half where he is stopping a train buy shooting all his webs and then dragging his feet along the tracks?? Come on Spiderman doesnt have rock hard skin so how are his feet not cut off??
Your Reply:



-3
2:54PM on 06/29/2012
Frankly, Venom is a shitty two-dimensional character. After all, it was created by McFarlane, someone who isn't even in the comic book industry anymore, and who's known more for his art than his writing skills. You really didn't need more than 9 minutes to setup the character.
Frankly, Venom is a shitty two-dimensional character. After all, it was created by McFarlane, someone who isn't even in the comic book industry anymore, and who's known more for his art than his writing skills. You really didn't need more than 9 minutes to setup the character.
Your Reply:



1:01PM on 06/29/2012

I understand...

...why you don't like this idea just because it goes against what the comics says, but thinking in a logical sense, it is more realistic for a human being who got bit by a super spider to have OWS. So, of course is a comic adaptation and it SHOULD BE like the comic itself, but i guess Raimi thought a nerdy kid creating a artificial web shooter would have been kinda strange.
...why you don't like this idea just because it goes against what the comics says, but thinking in a logical sense, it is more realistic for a human being who got bit by a super spider to have OWS. So, of course is a comic adaptation and it SHOULD BE like the comic itself, but i guess Raimi thought a nerdy kid creating a artificial web shooter would have been kinda strange.
Your Reply:



12:58PM on 06/29/2012
Godspeed, Spiderman...Oh. [link]
Godspeed, Spiderman...Oh. [link]
Your Reply:



12:55PM on 06/29/2012

My guess...

Raimi: ''Tobey, im tired of this shit''
Tobey: ''Me too man...let's do something fucked up to piss off the fans and make Sony not wanting to convince me for a #4 movie!!''
Raimi: ''Dance!''
Raimi: ''Tobey, im tired of this shit''
Tobey: ''Me too man...let's do something fucked up to piss off the fans and make Sony not wanting to convince me for a #4 movie!!''
Raimi: ''Dance!''
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12:17PM on 06/29/2012
I still feel that a reboot was unnecessary and that a 4th sequel should have been made with Dylan Baker as The Lizard. Sure the 3rd film was not received well and was full of faults but it wasn't Batman & Robin Bad. They could have easily made-up for it. Also Raimi should have been given creative freedom by the studio ( just like nolan has and that has worked well for Batman movies ) instead of being forced to use characters he didn't want to use.
I still feel that a reboot was unnecessary and that a 4th sequel should have been made with Dylan Baker as The Lizard. Sure the 3rd film was not received well and was full of faults but it wasn't Batman & Robin Bad. They could have easily made-up for it. Also Raimi should have been given creative freedom by the studio ( just like nolan has and that has worked well for Batman movies ) instead of being forced to use characters he didn't want to use.
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4:29PM on 06/29/2012
It was time to change the series. Tobey Maguire is sliding into his 40's. I don't buy him as a young kid anymore.
It was time to change the series. Tobey Maguire is sliding into his 40's. I don't buy him as a young kid anymore.
2:21PM on 06/29/2012
It does suck that Raimi was forced to use a character he wasn't cool with but he handled it in a very unprofessional way. He is the director, it's his job. Just because he didn't like being told what to do doesn't mean he had to take it out on the film itself. He could have easily been like, "ok, I have to use a villain that I don't like but you know what, I'm still going to make this a damn good film." You don't give up on producing a good product because you have to make compromises. Also the
It does suck that Raimi was forced to use a character he wasn't cool with but he handled it in a very unprofessional way. He is the director, it's his job. Just because he didn't like being told what to do doesn't mean he had to take it out on the film itself. He could have easily been like, "ok, I have to use a villain that I don't like but you know what, I'm still going to make this a damn good film." You don't give up on producing a good product because you have to make compromises. Also the direction that the 4th film was rumored to be taking never sat right with me, I'm open to this reboot.
11:44AM on 06/29/2012

Solid list!

I can diiiiiiiig it!
I can diiiiiiiig it!
Your Reply:



+5
11:35AM on 06/29/2012
The organic webshooters make perfect sense. More sense than the ones in the comics.. If he gets the powers of a spider, it's pretty easy to accept that he should also be able to produce web. Kirsten Dunst is fine. The worst? Take your pick from the third one..
The organic webshooters make perfect sense. More sense than the ones in the comics.. If he gets the powers of a spider, it's pretty easy to accept that he should also be able to produce web. Kirsten Dunst is fine. The worst? Take your pick from the third one..
Your Reply:



+25
10:57AM on 06/29/2012

Anybody else?

Is anybody else having an issue getting to the next entry? I have tried Internet Explorer and Mozilla Firefox and I keep getting stuck here. Nothing happens when I click the arrow to go to the next one.
Is anybody else having an issue getting to the next entry? I have tried Internet Explorer and Mozilla Firefox and I keep getting stuck here. Nothing happens when I click the arrow to go to the next one.
Your Reply:



10:59PM on 06/29/2012
Well using Internet Explorer is your main problem for starters.
Well using Internet Explorer is your main problem for starters.
11:15AM on 06/29/2012
No Problems with Chrome.
No Problems with Chrome.
10:44AM on 06/29/2012
Nitpick: notice the windows behind her are intact, moments earlier they were smashed as a result of Spiderman throwing the would be muggers at them.
Nitpick: notice the windows behind her are intact, moments earlier they were smashed as a result of Spiderman throwing the would be muggers at them.
Your Reply:



+1
10:38AM on 06/29/2012
Yeah, i never understood this casting and outside her scene mentioned at the start of this list i didn't like her as MJ at all. I'm really glad they are going with Gwen in the new movie and actually cast someone who looks the part.
Yeah, i never understood this casting and outside her scene mentioned at the start of this list i didn't like her as MJ at all. I'm really glad they are going with Gwen in the new movie and actually cast someone who looks the part.
Your Reply:



+3
10:35AM on 06/29/2012
The Helmet killed it, i don't care that they are paying homage to a monster you barely see in Army of Darkness. Either the classic green and purple latex or the newer chainmail/hooded look form the early 2000's had it been in the comics prior to the movie.
The Helmet killed it, i don't care that they are paying homage to a monster you barely see in Army of Darkness. Either the classic green and purple latex or the newer chainmail/hooded look form the early 2000's had it been in the comics prior to the movie.
Your Reply:



+4
10:28AM on 06/29/2012
I know what they were trying to go for here but they failed miserably all the same. The symbiote is supposed to amplify Peter's aggression to the point he starts alienating those he cares about. But here he just lets out his inner douche and that was enough. i feel more sorry for the symbiote really.
I know what they were trying to go for here but they failed miserably all the same. The symbiote is supposed to amplify Peter's aggression to the point he starts alienating those he cares about. But here he just lets out his inner douche and that was enough. i feel more sorry for the symbiote really.
Your Reply:



+3
10:26AM on 06/29/2012
There is not enough character spaces in this little box to allow me to properly express my horrible disappointment and undying rage at the unbelievable miss use of my all time favorite character. That is all.
There is not enough character spaces in this little box to allow me to properly express my horrible disappointment and undying rage at the unbelievable miss use of my all time favorite character. That is all.
Your Reply:



-1
10:24AM on 06/29/2012
I can take it or leave it. The only reason it wasn't like this in the comic was that back in the day Stan Lee thought ppl would think it too strange and weird. I do prefer the mechanical ones with cartridges, it adds to the suspense when he has to scramble, mid free fall, to get a new cartridge in.
I can take it or leave it. The only reason it wasn't like this in the comic was that back in the day Stan Lee thought ppl would think it too strange and weird. I do prefer the mechanical ones with cartridges, it adds to the suspense when he has to scramble, mid free fall, to get a new cartridge in.
Your Reply:



+0
10:20AM on 06/29/2012
The only thing i didn't like about this Doc Ock is the way the actor emoted with the arms all the time. Like when he was grabbing stuff with the arms he'd be mimcing that action with his actual arm which is all wrong. One of the coolest things about Doc Ock is he would be kicking the crap out of spidey while standing in a 3 piece suit with his arms crossed while laughing. That was the coolest Doc Ock.
The only thing i didn't like about this Doc Ock is the way the actor emoted with the arms all the time. Like when he was grabbing stuff with the arms he'd be mimcing that action with his actual arm which is all wrong. One of the coolest things about Doc Ock is he would be kicking the crap out of spidey while standing in a 3 piece suit with his arms crossed while laughing. That was the coolest Doc Ock.
Your Reply:



+2
10:16AM on 06/29/2012
Oh man, these movie turned me onto this guy and i've enjoyed everything i've seen him in ever since. Great actor.
Oh man, these movie turned me onto this guy and i've enjoyed everything i've seen him in ever since. Great actor.
Your Reply:



+2
10:14AM on 06/29/2012
It was pretty good, for an origin movie anyways. The fights with Doc Ock in II are 100 times better which is to be expected as he would have this whole flipping around fighting style more in hand.
It was pretty good, for an origin movie anyways. The fights with Doc Ock in II are 100 times better which is to be expected as he would have this whole flipping around fighting style more in hand.
Your Reply:



+1
10:13AM on 06/29/2012
They pretty much take he origin story from the Ultimate universe which was good. The real origin is only 15 pages long and there is barely any story to it outside of "kid get bitten, kid gets powers, uncle dies and kid learn lesson."
They pretty much take he origin story from the Ultimate universe which was good. The real origin is only 15 pages long and there is barely any story to it outside of "kid get bitten, kid gets powers, uncle dies and kid learn lesson."
Your Reply:



-1
10:11AM on 06/29/2012

Ha!

The only good thing she did in the movie which is saying something conisdering it takes zero talent to stand there with a wet shirt on.
The only good thing she did in the movie which is saying something conisdering it takes zero talent to stand there with a wet shirt on.
Your Reply:



+16
10:08AM on 06/29/2012
I agree with all the other "Worst Things" listed, but this one always confused me why it pissed people off so much. If there is one thing I would hope to gain from being bitten by a radioactive spider, it would be to shoot some damn webbing. How can organic webbing be so infuriating and unbelievable, but climbing buildings with tiny hairs on your fingers or psychic ability to foresee danger can be easily accepted?
I agree with all the other "Worst Things" listed, but this one always confused me why it pissed people off so much. If there is one thing I would hope to gain from being bitten by a radioactive spider, it would be to shoot some damn webbing. How can organic webbing be so infuriating and unbelievable, but climbing buildings with tiny hairs on your fingers or psychic ability to foresee danger can be easily accepted?
Your Reply:



+8
9:41AM on 06/29/2012
He looks like a Power Ranger villain.

If it was supposed to be a military exoskeleton, they should have made it looks more practical. He's face could have been some sort of combination of military headgear and warpaint. WHY THE FUCK DID THEY GO WITH THIS?!
He looks like a Power Ranger villain.

If it was supposed to be a military exoskeleton, they should have made it looks more practical. He's face could have been some sort of combination of military headgear and warpaint. WHY THE FUCK DID THEY GO WITH THIS?!
Your Reply:



+4
9:39AM on 06/29/2012
The collective WTF felt throughout the theater seats on opening night is still one my most memorable theater going experiences. I'd never seen so many fans stare at a screen dumbfounded and the idiocy on display.
The collective WTF felt throughout the theater seats on opening night is still one my most memorable theater going experiences. I'd never seen so many fans stare at a screen dumbfounded and the idiocy on display.
Your Reply:



+4
9:36AM on 06/29/2012
Tobey shooting web out of his bum would have made a completely different movie... and it would have been awesome.
Tobey shooting web out of his bum would have made a completely different movie... and it would have been awesome.
Your Reply:



+4
9:33AM on 06/29/2012

YES!

I wish he had more scenes. Goddamn is he pitch perfect.
I wish he had more scenes. Goddamn is he pitch perfect.
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9:22AM on 06/29/2012
Mary Jane was likeable in Spider-Man 1&2. By the time we get to Spider-Man 3, I wish Venom just finished her.
Mary Jane was likeable in Spider-Man 1&2. By the time we get to Spider-Man 3, I wish Venom just finished her.
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9:20AM on 06/29/2012
I actually like the costume.
I actually like the costume.
Your Reply:



9:19AM on 06/29/2012
This scene made me laughed out loud first time I watched it.
This scene made me laughed out loud first time I watched it.
Your Reply:



9:18AM on 06/29/2012
I'd say we have crappy Venom is partly due to casting Topher Grace to be "Venom".
I'd say we have crappy Venom is partly due to casting Topher Grace to be "Venom".
Your Reply:



9:17AM on 06/29/2012
Out of three movies, this is my favorite scene. It really reminds me of Evil Dead 1 & 2.
Out of three movies, this is my favorite scene. It really reminds me of Evil Dead 1 & 2.
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9:16AM on 06/29/2012
Besides casting Willem Dafoe, casting J.K. SImmons at J.Jonah Jameson was a brilliant choice. He owns the role.
Besides casting Willem Dafoe, casting J.K. SImmons at J.Jonah Jameson was a brilliant choice. He owns the role.
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9:15AM on 06/29/2012
For Superhero movies, this is one of the best fight scenes. Superb performance by Willem Dafoe helped adding intensity to the scene.
For Superhero movies, this is one of the best fight scenes. Superb performance by Willem Dafoe helped adding intensity to the scene.
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9:13AM on 06/29/2012
Haha, oh yeah, I love this scene.
Haha, oh yeah, I love this scene.
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