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10.05.2012by: Alex Maidy

The Ten Spot: 10 Non-traditional Movie Weapons

Taking over from the immortal Jim Law, I want The Ten Spot to remain a bastion of civility and class. So, I am going to take my first list and rank the best non-traditional weapons from movie history. Seeing as TAKEN 2 opens this weekend and Liam Neeson's Bryan Mills is a master at utilizing his intellect and the materials at his disposal, this list will consist of no guns, knives, swords, or explosives. No, my friends, we are taking completely out of left field items used to beat the shit out of an opponent. Feel free to add your suggestions in the Talk Back below.

#10 Ballpoint Pen - THE BOURNE IDENTITY/GROSSE POINTE BLANK

As the old saying goes: "The pen is mightier than the sword". Well, at least it is when you a government trained killer who can use a Bic to cut a bitch. Both Jason Bourne and Martin Blank are former military who are trained to kill by any means necessary. Sometimes that means shoving a pen in your attacker's neck.

#9 4x4 - WALKING TALL

Both the 1973 original and the 2004 remake arm their protagonists with a piece of wood. Therefore, bad guys better watch out! Your bullets won't do jack shit against a guy with a Home Depot charge card! You know you are in back country when your sheriff can't even afford a baseball bat. It's the wood that makes it good!

#8 Oddjob's Hat - GOLDFINGER

Remember the good old days when men wore hats everywhere and they didn't have sports teams or brand logos on them? Fifty years ago, we had some class and dudes wore some sweet headgear in public. Take Oddjob: his hat was not only stylish and debonair, but it could decapitate a marble statue from a hundred yards away! I would like to see you find one of those at Urban Outfitters!

#7 - Lawnmower - DEAD-ALIVE

The lawnmower scene from DEAD-ALIVE kicks ass for the Lord! Stewart has no choice when that blasted Sumatran Rat-monkey turns everyone in his sleepy New Zealand town into oozing zombies! Screw a hatchet or even a firearm. Good old Stewart goes right for the landscaping equipment and liquifies the undead. But wait, he also uses a blender to destroy that nasty zombie baby! Double points!

#6 Vinyl LPs - SHAUN OF THE DEAD

This one is for all your hipsters out there. You may think listening to your music on vinyl is the way music is meant to be heard, but did you realize that your old Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits double record is also a handy tool for destroying the undead? Shaun and Ed learn that the jagged edges of a broken LP are just sharp enough to pierce the soft flesh of a zombie. And, if that doesn't work, grab your cricket bat and a Cornetto and kick some ass!

#5 Frying Pan of Doom - RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK

Good old Marion knows the best way to do away with pesky Middle Eastern henchmen and Nazis is with a cast iron skillet! Who knew you could fry an egg and save mankind with the same implement. Add that to the fact that nothing screams independent woman than having her defend herself with a cooking utensil. Ah, the good old days of chauvinism.

#4 Chainsaw - THE EVIL DEAD trilogy

So, when your lawnmower, cricket bat, and vinyl records just won't do the trick (or if your undead opponent is a little more evil) you can always use the power tools route. Ash knows that if you shop smart at your local S-Mart, a handy chainsaw is your best bet. Don't forget your boomstick and go battle that army of darkness!

#3 Pencil - THE DARK KNIGHT

Ah, the pencil: sharp and to the point. When you combine that with a magic trick as brilliant as that of The Joker, you have a very unexpected and dangerous weapon.

#2 Porcelain Dick - A CLOCKWORK ORANGE

What a way to go. You think you are being a patron of the arts and you go and buy a giant white cock to display in your home and some ruffians break in and proceed to beat you with it. Can you imagine the police investigation of this crime? What was the weapon? Oh, a huge sculpture of a phallus. Poor bastard never saw it coming. Get it? Coming? Classic.

#1 Carrot - SHOOT 'EM UP

If you don't like SHOOT 'EM UP, get the f*ck out of my office. Name another movie with death by carrot? Yeah, I didn't think so. Add to that Paul Giamatti and Monica Bellucci as a lactating hooker and you have the biggest Oscar snub in history. But, man, when Clive Owen stabs that dude in the head with carrot, everyone knew there would be no better weapon to be number one on this list.
Tags: The Ten Spot

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8:38AM on 10/08/2012
I think my favourite omission from this Ten Spot is the teacup from Chronicles of Riddick. That's a nicely humiliating way to off someone.
I think my favourite omission from this Ten Spot is the teacup from Chronicles of Riddick. That's a nicely humiliating way to off someone.
Your Reply:



+0
1:36PM on 10/07/2012
I know it's a movie we all try to erase from memory, but the death by peanut that Bullseye launches down a person's throat in Daredevil seems to fit the bill here.
I know it's a movie we all try to erase from memory, but the death by peanut that Bullseye launches down a person's throat in Daredevil seems to fit the bill here.
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+0
6:11PM on 10/06/2012

Beverly Hills Cop 3

All I got to say Annihilator 2000!!! Come on man it had a Microwave "GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE" surge!

[link]

Terible Movie ruined BHC for me!
All I got to say Annihilator 2000!!! Come on man it had a Microwave "GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE" surge!

[link]

Terible Movie ruined BHC for me!
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2:27PM on 10/06/2012

Riddick

Nice list, mist death by teacup, Chronicles of Riddick: Death by teacup
Nice list, mist death by teacup, Chronicles of Riddick: Death by teacup
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+1
2:00AM on 10/06/2012
Not exactly sure how the weapon list worked, but I actually would have liked to have seen the cell phone on here from See No Evil. Look, I know, horrible movie, but that scene is great. Dude makes a chick choke on her own cell phone. You know how many times I would love to do that to some people, especially in a movie theater? Otherwise, great list, especially number one. Completely forgot about the carrots from Shoot Em Up. That's pretty friggin awesome. As for Grosse Point, I actually would
Not exactly sure how the weapon list worked, but I actually would have liked to have seen the cell phone on here from See No Evil. Look, I know, horrible movie, but that scene is great. Dude makes a chick choke on her own cell phone. You know how many times I would love to do that to some people, especially in a movie theater? Otherwise, great list, especially number one. Completely forgot about the carrots from Shoot Em Up. That's pretty friggin awesome. As for Grosse Point, I actually would have put the TV on there (that could work for NOES or Scream as well). Getting fried by a TV. What a way to go.
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+0
12:51AM on 10/06/2012

Frying pans

I'd say Tangled takes this instead. The use of a frying pan in that movie was fantastic
I'd say Tangled takes this instead. The use of a frying pan in that movie was fantastic
Your Reply:



6:16PM on 10/05/2012
Pen....Pencil.

Should have kept this one and come up with magazine for The Bourne Supremacy.
Pen....Pencil.

Should have kept this one and come up with magazine for The Bourne Supremacy.
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5:35PM on 10/05/2012

I knew it would be missing...

The Blame Thrower from Mystery Men. That movie gets no love.
The Blame Thrower from Mystery Men. That movie gets no love.
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+0
1:45PM on 10/05/2012
so.... much..... blood.....
so.... much..... blood.....
Your Reply:



+2
1:41PM on 10/05/2012
Henry Jones knocks out a nazi with a fountain pen... if you want to go pre-ballpoint
Henry Jones knocks out a nazi with a fountain pen... if you want to go pre-ballpoint
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+3
1:33PM on 10/05/2012

decent list but...

You have a carrot from Shoot em'up at #1 and not the icicle from Die Hard 2?
You have a carrot from Shoot em'up at #1 and not the icicle from Die Hard 2?
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11:03AM on 10/05/2012
Can't say I saw this one coming, but I can't say I disapprove at all. I'm a little disappointed the picture's not from the "Eat you vegetables" scene.
Can't say I saw this one coming, but I can't say I disapprove at all. I'm a little disappointed the picture's not from the "Eat you vegetables" scene.
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10:58AM on 10/05/2012
I'm quite partial to the piece of firewood she uses in the bar.
I'm quite partial to the piece of firewood she uses in the bar.
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+0
9:48AM on 10/05/2012

Cool list

But my two very first thoughts were the chicken from Hot Shots and the corn weapon from Nacho Libre.
But my two very first thoughts were the chicken from Hot Shots and the corn weapon from Nacho Libre.
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9:32AM on 10/05/2012

Great Article, but...

Theres a ton left off, some that might have topped those already included. I like those below (especially the chicken) plus the No Country cow puncher, the pogo stick from Leprechaun and many more.
Theres a ton left off, some that might have topped those already included. I like those below (especially the chicken) plus the No Country cow puncher, the pogo stick from Leprechaun and many more.
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9:07AM on 10/05/2012
Jason Bourne can kill you with anything he touches.

Bourne Supremacy - Rolled up magazine
Bourne Ultimatum - Bath towel
Jason Bourne can kill you with anything he touches.

Bourne Supremacy - Rolled up magazine
Bourne Ultimatum - Bath towel
Your Reply:



9:06AM on 10/05/2012
Jason Bourne can kill you with anything he touches.

Bourne Supremacy - Rolled up magazine
Bourne Ultimatum - Bath towel
Jason Bourne can kill you with anything he touches.

Bourne Supremacy - Rolled up magazine
Bourne Ultimatum - Bath towel
Your Reply:



9:06AM on 10/05/2012
Jason Bourne can kill you with anything he touches.

Bourne Supremacy - Rolled up magazine
Bourne Ultimatum - Bath towel
Jason Bourne can kill you with anything he touches.

Bourne Supremacy - Rolled up magazine
Bourne Ultimatum - Bath towel
Your Reply:



8:06AM on 10/05/2012
I Wish people would call this film by its name Braindead,which is the title in the rest of the world except North America.But that aside great weapon.
I Wish people would call this film by its name Braindead,which is the title in the rest of the world except North America.But that aside great weapon.
Your Reply:



7:36AM on 10/05/2012
That's a 4x4, Alex!
That's a 4x4, Alex!
Your Reply:



6:54AM on 10/05/2012

Glad to see a new top 10

And a nice list to start off with!
And a nice list to start off with!
Your Reply:



6:08AM on 10/05/2012
This scene was so brilliantly written and acted...it's hard to come up with something this incredible for a character who's been around for (at the time) close to seventy years.
This scene was so brilliantly written and acted...it's hard to come up with something this incredible for a character who's been around for (at the time) close to seventy years.
Your Reply:



6:05AM on 10/05/2012
And there was the chainsaw in 'American Psycho', and if all else fails, you can have a gun with a chainsaw attachment a la Gears of War.
And there was the chainsaw in 'American Psycho', and if all else fails, you can have a gun with a chainsaw attachment a la Gears of War.
Your Reply:



6:03AM on 10/05/2012
Ah yes, Marion and her frying pan...I was very glad they gave the action figure a frying pan accessory! And the similar usage of the cooking utensil in 'Tangled' may just be a reference to this.
Ah yes, Marion and her frying pan...I was very glad they gave the action figure a frying pan accessory! And the similar usage of the cooking utensil in 'Tangled' may just be a reference to this.
Your Reply:



5:59AM on 10/05/2012
A ballpoint pen was also memorably used as a weapon in 'Red Eye'.
A ballpoint pen was also memorably used as a weapon in 'Red Eye'.
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3:38AM on 10/05/2012
As much as I love Ash and his chainsaw-welding hand, have to say by now, Chainsaw is one of the MOST traditional movie weapon there is (you know, Scarface, Texas Chainsaw etc..). So thats a thumbs down. My replace would be the rolled up magazine from Bourne Supremacy or that hardest Book in history from Bourne Ultimatum.
As much as I love Ash and his chainsaw-welding hand, have to say by now, Chainsaw is one of the MOST traditional movie weapon there is (you know, Scarface, Texas Chainsaw etc..). So thats a thumbs down. My replace would be the rolled up magazine from Bourne Supremacy or that hardest Book in history from Bourne Ultimatum.
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3:02AM on 10/05/2012

No Chicken from Hot Shots Part Deux?

Personal favorite there.
Personal favorite there.
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2:49AM on 10/05/2012

Hey now....

I'm far from a hipster, but I still love my vinyl. As a DJ for 20 years now, I do love this scene wholeheartedly!

...and yes, vinyl is the way music is supposed to be heard (well, unless it's live of course).
I'm far from a hipster, but I still love my vinyl. As a DJ for 20 years now, I do love this scene wholeheartedly!

...and yes, vinyl is the way music is supposed to be heard (well, unless it's live of course).
Your Reply:



1:28AM on 10/05/2012
You forgot the corncob of death from Stephen King's Sleepwalkers movie. That put me off from eating anything related to corn for a period of time.
You forgot the corncob of death from Stephen King's Sleepwalkers movie. That put me off from eating anything related to corn for a period of time.
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1:27AM on 10/05/2012
The best magic trick of all. Period.
The best magic trick of all. Period.
Your Reply:



1:26AM on 10/05/2012
Haha, I knew this would be part of the top 10. The Batman soundtrack and Sade cracked me up.
Haha, I knew this would be part of the top 10. The Batman soundtrack and Sade cracked me up.
Your Reply:



1:25AM on 10/05/2012
Possibly the best use of lawnmower.
Possibly the best use of lawnmower.
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1:24AM on 10/05/2012
Hahaha, there's even a space for the keychain!
Hahaha, there's even a space for the keychain!
Your Reply:



+1
1:08AM on 10/05/2012
Where the hell is the Stereo???
Lost boys "death by stereo"
it even has the line to go with it
Where the hell is the Stereo???
Lost boys "death by stereo"
it even has the line to go with it
Your Reply:



1:06AM on 10/05/2012

Jack Frost

Jack Frost also has a death by carrot via vaginal penetration. And on top of that, the victim is Shannon Elisabeth.

[link]

Had to be said.
Jack Frost also has a death by carrot via vaginal penetration. And on top of that, the victim is Shannon Elisabeth.

[link]

Had to be said.
Your Reply:



+2
12:52AM on 10/05/2012

Batman Soundtrack?

Throw it!
Throw it!
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