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11.02.2011by: Jim Law

The 10 Hottest Superhero Girlfriends

Superheroes gotta love too, right? Night after night of fighting crime can take it's toll on even the most extraordinary of men if they don't have a warm bosom to snuggle up to at the end of their shift. Sometimes their woman is a super too, which means that bosom might have super-human abilities. Cool. Whatever the case, I consider all these women heroic. It takes a special kind of lady to stick with such powerful and superior beings. Just ask my wife. BOOM! ............sorry.

Honorable Mention: Vicki Vale - BATMAN

There's something sultry going on with Vicki that's trying to escape. If you look past the fact that she dresses like a German secretary you might catch a glimpse of her moistening those perfectly plump lips or ever so slightly arching her back. And that's when you have to adjust your batarang. By the way, I'm strictly sticking to comic book based superhero movies for this list. I should have mentioned that in the opening paragraph but I was distracted by Lucy Pinder's under-boob.

10. Abby Arcane - THE RETURN OF SWAMP THING

Swamp Thing is on Aquaman-like-levels of horrible superheroes. An he's still pulling ultimate tail. If I ever approached a woman wearing a nightie she'd probably scream so loud her face would explode. This dude has poison ivy growing out of his ass-crack and he still gets Heather Locklear to rub her junk all over him.

9. Katie Deauxma - KICK-ASS

"Girlfriend" takes on a bit of a different meaning here as Katie thinks bro is gay for most of the movie. I always hated this plot device. Is this what teenage girls really do? They just whip their tits out and gossip about bullshit for hours? How are there not more lesbians in the world?

8. Roxanne Simpson - GHOST RIDER

The curves on this chick will light a fire under yo' ass. You like that? How about this - Roxanne is so hot she makes you wear a fire retardant condom before you can get in dem guts. That was horrible. I hate this movie.

7. Elektra Natchios - DAREDEVIL

Her name means "awesome nachos", which is 95% of the reason I included her here. The other 5% is because I loved this character in the comics. You know what didn't happen in the comics? A flirty acrobatic duel in a playground that makes me cringe even thinking about it. I do love me some fucking nachos though.

6. Selina Kyle - BATMAN RETURNS

She bangs Bruce Wayne by day and beats up Batman by night. And she does this after falling out a window a thousand stories in the air and being licked back to life by a few dozen alley-cats. There are some serious issues with this woman. She can't sew worth a shit either.

5. Mary Jane Watson - SPIDER-MAN

If that scene above was never in SPIDER-MAN she's probably not on this list. She might not have even been in the sequels. Pointy nipples make careers. Fact. Spidey should have kept lowering himself until she said stop. Is there a porn version of this film? Did that happen in it?

4. Tina Carlyle - THE MASK

You can actually see Tina get wet when the mask is in play in this film. I would have glued that fucker to my face. I went home with some random chick years ago and she made me wear a Tom Selleck mask while we fooled around. Every time I tried to take it off for some smooches she would elbow me in the face. It was awesome. Kinda.

3. Ramona Flowers - SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD

I don't know how hard I'd fight for this chick once I realized how much she got around. Don't get me wrong, she's hot as shit, but I'm just not the type of dude to throw hands for sloppy ninths. Except for the one chick. I'd beat her ass.

2. Susan Storm - FANTASTIC FOUR

What if Reed and Sue's powers had been switched? Would things have worked out differently for them. Think about it, one of the smartest men on the planet now has the ability to become invisible and do whatever the hell he wants (think HOLLOW MAN) and Sue, while still heroic in every sense of the word, has a vagina that can wrap around a baseball park. Fantastic.

1. Laurie Jupiter - WATCHMEN

She can take half a dozen blue dongs at the same time. She kicks crime in the ass while wearing a costume that requires a Brazilian wax to pull off. Her mom is a Super MILF, literally. And, if you just happen to be around after said ass-kickery, she'll strap on to you like a spider monkey and hump the hair off your chest.
Tags: The Ten Spot

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12:51PM on 12/15/2011

Soooo.

It would be really cool if you guys would make this fucking article disappear. Really getting sick of seeing it when I come on your site...
It would be really cool if you guys would make this fucking article disappear. Really getting sick of seeing it when I come on your site...
Your Reply:



+7
5:31PM on 11/18/2011
How many fucking days is this going to be the "featured" news?
How many fucking days is this going to be the "featured" news?
Your Reply:



1:28PM on 11/23/2011
Yup, still featured as my front page as well. WTF?
Yup, still featured as my front page as well. WTF?
1:19PM on 11/23/2011
22 days and counting... glad I'm not the only one though. I thought there was something wrong with my Internet cookies or some other weird shit.
22 days and counting... glad I'm not the only one though. I thought there was something wrong with my Internet cookies or some other weird shit.
2:32AM on 11/17/2011
HAYLEY ATWELL'S Peggy Carter, Famke's Jean Grey, Gwyneth's Pepper Potts and either Mystique should be on that list.
HAYLEY ATWELL'S Peggy Carter, Famke's Jean Grey, Gwyneth's Pepper Potts and either Mystique should be on that list.
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-1
12:31AM on 11/07/2011
She should not be on this list, regardless of this scene.
She should not be on this list, regardless of this scene.
Your Reply:



-1
12:29AM on 11/07/2011
She should not be on this list, regardless of this scene.
She should not be on this list, regardless of this scene.
Your Reply:



9:24PM on 11/02/2011
I've never understood the love for Jessica Alba, ever.
I've never understood the love for Jessica Alba, ever.
Your Reply:



5:48PM on 11/02/2011
Not the best list. Plus I have to completely disagree with your stance on Swamp Thing. The movies? Not good at all. The comics? Amazing. Alan Moore's version was fantastic and even Scott Snyder's current run is just amazing. And Jean Grey should have definitely been up there. Way up there.
Not the best list. Plus I have to completely disagree with your stance on Swamp Thing. The movies? Not good at all. The comics? Amazing. Alan Moore's version was fantastic and even Scott Snyder's current run is just amazing. And Jean Grey should have definitely been up there. Way up there.
Your Reply:



-2
4:40PM on 11/02/2011
Nice number 1. I would argue about Jeniffer Garner though. I just don't find her attractive. Katie Deauxma is an interesting choice, as the movie and the comic treat her radically different. In the movie, she becomes the girlfriend. In the comic, she becomes quite the opposite.
Nice number 1. I would argue about Jeniffer Garner though. I just don't find her attractive. Katie Deauxma is an interesting choice, as the movie and the comic treat her radically different. In the movie, she becomes the girlfriend. In the comic, she becomes quite the opposite.
Your Reply:



2:46PM on 11/02/2011
as a kid i had a strange thing for that female kryptonian from superman 2 (cant remember her name)
as a kid i had a strange thing for that female kryptonian from superman 2 (cant remember her name)
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1:55PM on 11/02/2011

This list really could go on.

Jennifer Connelly and Liv Tyler as Betty Ross. Kristy Swanson as Diana Palmer. Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy.
Jennifer Connelly and Liv Tyler as Betty Ross. Kristy Swanson as Diana Palmer. Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy.
Your Reply:



1:46PM on 11/02/2011
Mhmmm...electric nachos.
Mhmmm...electric nachos.
Your Reply:



1:13PM on 11/02/2011
Horrible ordering and horrible list. Akerman is number 1??!.. Kim Basinger only a honorable mention?... Are you kidding me? And where is Jean Grey? She should have been in the top 3, but she isn't even on the list.
Horrible ordering and horrible list. Akerman is number 1??!.. Kim Basinger only a honorable mention?... Are you kidding me? And where is Jean Grey? She should have been in the top 3, but she isn't even on the list.
Your Reply:



12:06PM on 11/02/2011
I don;t think Eva Mendes should be on the list. I definitely would liked to have seen Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts on the list. And as musch as Michelle Pfeifer made an excellent catwoman, when you say catwoman, my brain immediately
imagines Julie Newmar.
I don;t think Eva Mendes should be on the list. I definitely would liked to have seen Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts on the list. And as musch as Michelle Pfeifer made an excellent catwoman, when you say catwoman, my brain immediately
imagines Julie Newmar.
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12:06PM on 11/02/2011
Not bad. Not bad at all.
Not bad. Not bad at all.
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12:04PM on 11/02/2011
Wow, I thought Catwoman would be in number 1 spot.
Wow, I thought Catwoman would be in number 1 spot.
Your Reply:



12:02PM on 11/02/2011
Wow, I thought Catwoman would be in number 1 spot.
Wow, I thought Catwoman would be in number 1 spot.
Your Reply:



12:01PM on 11/02/2011
Hottest and bada**est.
Hottest and bada**est.
Your Reply:



11:56AM on 11/02/2011
the watchman chick as #1? dude, she should have even made the list, her mom yes.
the watchman chick as #1? dude, she should have even made the list, her mom yes.
Your Reply:



+2
10:55AM on 11/02/2011

She's hot, but...

I was more into Knives. A little psychotic, yes. But an Asian Schoolgirl? Come on! Doesn't get much hotter than that.
I was more into Knives. A little psychotic, yes. But an Asian Schoolgirl? Come on! Doesn't get much hotter than that.
Your Reply:



10:45AM on 11/02/2011
Bad choices.
Bad choices.
Your Reply:



+4
10:38AM on 11/02/2011

To answer your questions....

Yes...and yes...

Not a Dunst fan though.
Yes...and yes...

Not a Dunst fan though.
Your Reply:



10:28AM on 11/02/2011
I don't like the top 2. Alba looked like plastic in the Fantastic Four movies, she wasn't hot in those and Akerman's lack of acting skills just kills half of her hotness for me.

What about Nicole Kidman in Batman Forever ? (not as #1, just saying) She was very hot back then.
I don't like the top 2. Alba looked like plastic in the Fantastic Four movies, she wasn't hot in those and Akerman's lack of acting skills just kills half of her hotness for me.

What about Nicole Kidman in Batman Forever ? (not as #1, just saying) She was very hot back then.
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+1
10:24AM on 11/02/2011
I like this. I like this a lot.
I like this. I like this a lot.
Your Reply:



+5
10:11AM on 11/02/2011
"Sue, while still heroic in every sense of the word, has a vagina that can wrap around a baseball park. Fantastic."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
"Sue, while still heroic in every sense of the word, has a vagina that can wrap around a baseball park. Fantastic."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Your Reply:



+6
10:07AM on 11/02/2011

SMOKIN!

Goddamn Cameron Diaz was insanely hot in the Mask.

She's never reached those levels since... maybe with There's Something About Mary, barely.
Goddamn Cameron Diaz was insanely hot in the Mask.

She's never reached those levels since... maybe with There's Something About Mary, barely.
Your Reply:



1:29PM on 11/02/2011
Okay, I concede Charlie's Angels
Okay, I concede Charlie's Angels
12:03PM on 11/02/2011
And also the first Charlie's Angels!
And also the first Charlie's Angels!
+11
10:04AM on 11/02/2011
What about Peggy Carter (Captain America0???
What about Peggy Carter (Captain America0???
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12:31AM on 11/07/2011
Totally agree!
Totally agree!
9:56AM on 11/02/2011
Nice choice!
Nice choice!
Your Reply:



9:55AM on 11/02/2011
Alba looked beyond awful in these movies. I hate hate that they casted her and then tried to make her white. Either cast a white girl, or leave Alba alone
Alba looked beyond awful in these movies. I hate hate that they casted her and then tried to make her white. Either cast a white girl, or leave Alba alone
Your Reply:



10:13AM on 11/02/2011
The only good thing to come out of these flicks was Chris Evans.

The dude somehow made his character worthwhile. I've been a fan of his since.
The only good thing to come out of these flicks was Chris Evans.

The dude somehow made his character worthwhile. I've been a fan of his since.
9:42AM on 11/02/2011

Mmmm....

That is a hot collection of women. Totally agree with #1 although I might have edged Michelle Pfeiffer in as my #1 instead. She was every man's fantasy in Batman Returns. Minus the taser to the mouth part.
That is a hot collection of women. Totally agree with #1 although I might have edged Michelle Pfeiffer in as my #1 instead. She was every man's fantasy in Batman Returns. Minus the taser to the mouth part.
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