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01.11.2012by: Jim Law

The Ten Spot: The 10 Best Hiding Spots in Movies

To try and figure out how to approach this column I just imagined the entire film database playing a game of hide and go seek. Who would win? There's a million different scenes/scenarios I could have used but this was the best me and my drunk buddies could come up with after an especially long night of draught beer and pizza. Please add your picks below. Don't yell.

10. A Wardrobe - NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBE

Not only great for hiding but also great for discovering new worlds and talking lions. Your brother might turn into a little bitch and sell you out any chance he gets but still totally worth it. The fucking lion talks!

9. Under the Bed - PET SEMATARY

This happens every third horror movie but this might be the only time it ever worked. Gage pops out and slices up Herman Munster's Achilles tendon and then feasts on his neck like a little creepy ninja. Seriously, is there any creepier kid in the history of creepy kids? No.

8. The Back Seat - LET ME IN

This one works almost every time. Michael Myers used it, so you know shit is solid. I used this movie because I love this scene. Ironically, this might be the only time it didn't work. The plan doesn't always involve dumping acid on your face to save the identity of your little bitch vampire.

7. Stuffed Animals - E.T.

One of the most brilliant scenes in one of my favorite films of all time. E.T. doesn't know shit about Earth but he knows when the need for being a pimp ninja arises. I've recreated this scene with every one of my kids. They have no idea why drunk daddy is burying them in stuffed animals. It's because it's awesome Daddy drunk time.

6. The Ceiling - ALIENS

What do you mean "they" cut the power? Not only is good for hiding but it also allows you to sneak up on the mean military folk and drag their bodies back to the Queen Bitch so you can face fuck them and make babies.

5. A Shitter - SCHINDLER'S LIST

Come to think of it this might be one of the worst places to hide. I'll be honest, if it comes down to getting captured by the angry German soldiers or standing tit-deep in many other people's feces - sign me up for the camp.

4. An Old Trunk - YOUNG GUNS

Billy the Kid might be borderline psychotic, but he also just happens to be one of the smartest assholes alive. This is proven by the bullet holes he places in many a head after popping out of this random discarded fire hazard.

3. Mud - PREDATOR

It only lasts for a little while but Dutch gets the upper hand on one of the universe's deadliest assassins by simply covering himself in mud. I did this once when my wife was wanting me to clean the kitchen. Apparently mud doesn't blend well with our couch.

2. A Giant Hedge Maze - THE SHINING

Great for when your dad is trying to murder you. Start building one of these now, kids, because at some point in the near future, your dad is going to try to murder you. Also, buy your mom a baseball bat.

1. The Human Body - THE THING

It's warm, it blends in with other human bodies, and it smells better than a dog. Thank God this alien landed in butt-fuck Antarctica with only a handful of dudes and blow-torches around (fuck the prequel), otherwise we would all have spider heads.
Tags: The Ten Spot

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9:43PM on 01/29/2012

Alien

I thought the best Alien hiding place was in Ripley's escape ship where it looked like part of the equipment, until it moved.
And Max in Cape Fear had a good one.
I thought the best Alien hiding place was in Ripley's escape ship where it looked like part of the equipment, until it moved.
And Max in Cape Fear had a good one.
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5:47AM on 01/13/2012
The Thing prequel was awesome! ::Takes ball and goes home::
The Thing prequel was awesome! ::Takes ball and goes home::
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9:36AM on 01/12/2012
I love this site, and with all due respect, recognize that this is supposed to be a fun list. However, making light of going to a concentration camp is very low brow. It won't affect me coming to this site - but I still think it is important to realize that there has to be a line somewhere.
I love this site, and with all due respect, recognize that this is supposed to be a fun list. However, making light of going to a concentration camp is very low brow. It won't affect me coming to this site - but I still think it is important to realize that there has to be a line somewhere.
Your Reply:



5:43AM on 01/12/2012

Serenity

When I think of hiding on the ceiling, the first image that comes to mind is River acrobatically clinging to the ceiling to hide from her pursuers. Of course, that certainly requires amazing flexibility.
When I think of hiding on the ceiling, the first image that comes to mind is River acrobatically clinging to the ceiling to hide from her pursuers. Of course, that certainly requires amazing flexibility.
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1:28AM on 01/12/2012
Reading this article made me feel like I was watching a kevin smith movie. You sound dumb cussing so much. Do you think this makes for wit or is it stylish? Go back to school and learn words.
Reading this article made me feel like I was watching a kevin smith movie. You sound dumb cussing so much. Do you think this makes for wit or is it stylish? Go back to school and learn words.
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12:58PM on 01/12/2012
Reading your comment made me feel like I was getting a stern talking to from an uppity cunt. Does cunt count as a swear word? I hope so.
Reading your comment made me feel like I was getting a stern talking to from an uppity cunt. Does cunt count as a swear word? I hope so.
+0
6:24PM on 01/11/2012

freaky

i was at a hotel this past weekend with a hall exactly like the one with the ghost girls.....it was so creepy
i was at a hotel this past weekend with a hall exactly like the one with the ghost girls.....it was so creepy
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5:23PM on 01/11/2012

Great list

The only thing I would add is an honorable mention to "In plain sight" with the T-Rex scene from Jurassic Park or that scene in "Shawn of Dead" where they walk amongst the zombies.
The only thing I would add is an honorable mention to "In plain sight" with the T-Rex scene from Jurassic Park or that scene in "Shawn of Dead" where they walk amongst the zombies.
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3:27PM on 01/11/2012
Some of the best commentary yet... great stuff! Had me rolling :)
Some of the best commentary yet... great stuff! Had me rolling :)
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3:25PM on 01/11/2012
LMAO... (Drunk daddy hiding with stuffed animals)
LMAO... (Drunk daddy hiding with stuffed animals)
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2:50PM on 01/11/2012
this reminds me of "Shawshank Redemtion" on the hide-scape scene with "Andy D. crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness". Brilliant I do understand why you want to sign up for the camp.
this reminds me of "Shawshank Redemtion" on the hide-scape scene with "Andy D. crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness". Brilliant I do understand why you want to sign up for the camp.
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+2
2:17PM on 01/11/2012

Pretty good,

Think Rebellion had it with Rambo.. theres at least 5 in first blood, and another 4 in first blood part II.

Also, thought id see an invisibility cloak (harry potter) in there too.
Think Rebellion had it with Rambo.. theres at least 5 in first blood, and another 4 in first blood part II.

Also, thought id see an invisibility cloak (harry potter) in there too.
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3:45PM on 01/11/2012
lol Very vaild reasons
lol Very vaild reasons
2:47PM on 01/11/2012
The Harry Potter one would have been there if I had ever watched a Harry Potter movie. One day.

The Rambo stuff came up at the drunk brainstorm and I totally meant to mention it in the "Mud" entry but I had another 6 mugs and ended up forgetting all about it.
The Harry Potter one would have been there if I had ever watched a Harry Potter movie. One day.

The Rambo stuff came up at the drunk brainstorm and I totally meant to mention it in the "Mud" entry but I had another 6 mugs and ended up forgetting all about it.
+1
2:14PM on 01/11/2012

Rambo, first blood part II

Nah i think Rambo II, is a better hiding place for mud. Considering he was completely covered and in the wall. While Arni just used the mud to cool his body down for Preds thermal vision. where as Sly was hidden to the naked eye.
Nah i think Rambo II, is a better hiding place for mud. Considering he was completely covered and in the wall. While Arni just used the mud to cool his body down for Preds thermal vision. where as Sly was hidden to the naked eye.
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2:45PM on 01/11/2012
Good call. I planned on mentioning this above. I forgot.
Good call. I planned on mentioning this above. I forgot.
2:03PM on 01/11/2012

Pretty good Ten Spot

Not a bad list at all Mr. Law. I just want to throw this out there, but I think you missed a series that has some of the best hiding scenes in any film series. Motherfucking Rambo man! Nobody, and I mean nobody has a higher body count when hidden than Rambo. The Arrow will back me up on that one.
Not a bad list at all Mr. Law. I just want to throw this out there, but I think you missed a series that has some of the best hiding scenes in any film series. Motherfucking Rambo man! Nobody, and I mean nobody has a higher body count when hidden than Rambo. The Arrow will back me up on that one.
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2:15PM on 01/11/2012
DEAD ON!!!
DEAD ON!!!
1:40PM on 01/11/2012

Lolz

"awesome Daddy drunk time."

I can 100% relate to that comment!
"awesome Daddy drunk time."

I can 100% relate to that comment!
Your Reply:



12:45PM on 01/11/2012
I was thinking of Rambo II for mud at first, but this is a better call on your part.
I was thinking of Rambo II for mud at first, but this is a better call on your part.
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