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11.17.2010by: JoBlo

Top 10 Awesome Breakfast Moments

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. So I hear. Working midnights, I have no clue when my breakfast starts and when my late night snack ends. I solve this by drinking Coke every other hour of the day and slamming my face into a bowl of cereal whenever I get the chance. Nutritious. Stupid. Fun. Let's take a look at what I'm missing out on.

Honorable Mention: All Growns Up - SWINGERS

You ever notice how gigantic Vince Vaughn's forehead is in this movie? That, coupled with how much of an dickhole he's being in this scene, would have made me smash him in the back of the head with a ketchup bottle.

10. Raw - ROCKY

I tried to drink raw eggs once (because of this scene..... and I was drunk) and puked so violently my ears were sucked into my skull. It's also probably why I'm bald and why my eyes bleed at the same time every day. Was not fun.

9. Pancake Monster - UNCLE BUCK

I'm pretty sure Michael Jackson used this trick on Macaulay Culkin whenever they had their "special" sleepover parties. Imagine the amount of date-rape drug you can fit into a flapjack that size?

8. I Don't Tip - RESERVOIR DOG

Mr. Pink's comparison of McDonald's servers and waitresses, and why we have to tip one and not the the other, is one of the most logical arguments ever made. So now I tip large for my McChicken combo. I think I missed the point.

7. Hold the Powdered Sugar - ROAD TRIP

It's scenes like this (and the many like it) that have made it a personal rule in my life that I never complain to anybody that handles my food. If I ordered a cheeseburger and they brought out a head of lettuce and two carrots I would simply nibble away like a little bitch rabbit and move on with my day. Food is not to be fucked with.

6. All You Can Eat - GROUNDHOG DAY

I'd love to see a dark, R-rated version of this film. Living out the same day over and over without consequence has got to bring out the evil side of certain individuals. Basically, I just want a porn version. Same can be said for every movie I've ever seen.

5.5 The Breakfast Machine - PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE

Now, if I had a machine such as this bitch, I would eat breakfast every day. And if I could build shit like this I wouldn't stop there - there would be the Get Me to Work Machine. the Wipe My Ass Machine, The Fill My Glass With Rum Machine. You get the point. I drink.

5. I Want Breakfast - FALLING DOWN

Everybody has wanted to do this. You show up at 11:01 and McDonald's tells you to shove your hash-browns up your ass. I always love the part where the the woman pukes all over her food.


There have been very few moments if film that have attacked me with fits of laughter like this scene did. It's not awkward enough coming out of this little girl's room in the morning, after her parents already know you were banging the shit out of her, then you have to spray the whole family with your rancid diarrhea during some quality eggs & bacon.

3. Man Flakes - DEAD ALIVE

It's hard enough preparing breakfast for the entire family, what if you have to do it while they're all zombies and trying to eat one another? Then you leave the room and two of them start having zombie-sex on the table before one of their heads falls off after eating the others lips. I go through this every Monday morning.

2. Keep Chillin' - PULP FICTION

If PULP FICTION was just this scene, I'm pretty sure Tarantino would still be as big as he is today. It's an iconic moment with an iconic performance (Jackson) that delivers one of the most iconic images in modern cinema. I'm just glad they mentioned the word "breakfast" so I could use it here.

1. The Food Ain't That Bad, Baby - ALIEN

What could have been Kane's most satisfying meal of all time, just getting out of a face-palm coma, turns into his chest giving birth to the most evil bastard in the universe and having it kill him and (almost) all his friends. That sucks.



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