Top 10 Awesome Mirror Moments in movies
I usually like to use these opening paragraphs to relate the following list to some embarrassing moment in my life. I got nothing. Other than trimming some ear hairs and making sure there are no boogers in my goat, I have very little use for standing in front of a mirror for more than two seconds at a time. Maybe that's why this list fascinates me so much. Also, maybe that's why I look like I dress myself blindfolded every morning.
While the money shot (above) takes place in front of a video camera, you have to admire how dedicated Buffalo Bill is preparing for this sexy game of hide the penis. So much so that he doesn't even notice his stupid dog falling for the ole "chicken bone death trap" trick.
I wish everybody had a magic mirror that slapped some sense into you when you need it the most. That porn stache I rocked in grade 9 would be an era I could live without. It also comes in handy when you chop your girlfriend up with a chainsaw.
One of the darkest moments in Burton's Batman films shows us the birth of The Joker, something I would have loved to see in THE DARK KNIGHT. It sucks that I can't possibly think about this scene without picturing Lisa Simpson getting braces but.... whatever.
Giant fake penis aside, I love the thespian act Dirk gives us in this scene. You'd think he was preparing for a live portrayal of Hamlet in front of Jesus Christ to determine the salvation of the human race. It wouldn't matter in the end, the penis would save us all.
Put yourself in Olive Oyl's place here. You shoot out of a dead sleep because your son is yelling gibberish in his possessed voice. You turn to see him standing next to the bed with a giant kitchen knife and a special glazed look in his eyes. You try to comfort him with a hug when you notice he's ruined your favorite lipstick by printing "MURDER" backwards on your bedroom door. At what point does your brain stop trying to comprehend and just explode?
Spike Lee takes a different approach to honoring New York after 9/11 by basically telling the entire city, and everybody in it, to go fuck themselves. This is exactly how I honor every Yankees' championship.
Chaplin may have done it first but the Marx brothers mastered the art of the fake mirror. Imagine how drunk you have to be for this shit to actually work. Thankfully I have a mole in the shape of Chewbacca under my left nipple I check for every night before I go to bed to avoid such nonsense. I have serious trust issues.
Mirrors are the perfect spot for a healthy dose of self-mutilation. It doesn't help if all your mirrors are evil gateways. I'd pay good money for at least one of these things to be placed in the Jersey Shore house.
Pales in comparison to the scene above but was just as effective way back when I was a little asshole sitting in a theater waiting for the newest Steven Spielberg adventure. Seriously, this film attacked senses I didn't even realize I had when I was a kid and left me in a puddle of tears, sweat, and feces as my brother and dad left for the car.
And here's the reason I don't spend too much time in front of the mirror, just in case I mistakenly mention this fucker's name three times while talking to myself. I've had nightmares about this evil cunt that make Freddy Krueger visits seem like wet dreams. And then I met Tony Todd at Comic Con and shit myself. True story.
You ever acted this scene out in front of your own mirror? If you answered yes, the Douche Rags of America already have your membership printed out. All you need to do is go pick it up and throw yourself down a flight of stairs.
A masterfully shot game of cat & mouse that keeps you on the edge of your seat and leaves you with a crippling headache as you try to figure out where the hell Han is. I have this same set-up in my backyard. My dog hates me.