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01.24.2007by: Jim Law

Top 10 Eddie Murphy Mistakes

Why did it take Eddie Murphy 25 years to win a Golden Globe? The guy dominated an entire decade in Hollywood. Movies like 48 HRS., TRADING PLACES, BEVERLY HILLS COP, and COMING TO AMERICA put him so far ahead of his peers in the 80's that only Michael Jackson could rival his popularity in the world of entertainment. Why did he have to sit back and watch guys who stole his shtick (Jamie Fox, Will Smith, Chris Rock) have their careers blossom into Academy Awards, Emmys, and even MTV Awards, none of which he has sitting on his shelf? In 1983's DELIRIOUS he shocked the world with a stand-up act that described what anal sex with Mr. T would be like. In 2002 he won a Kid's Choice Award for providing the voice of an animated donkey. Eddie got soft and so did his movies. Take away these 11 films below and that Oscar nomination he's hoping for later this month might have come a lot earlier.

10. VAMPIRE IN BROOKLYN (1995)

If you can't be funny anymore why not grow a mullet and try to be scary? This was the type of advice Eddie was getting in the mid 90's. What sounds like a cheesy Wayons Brothers comedy fails to find it's genre as Wes Craven's horror and Eddie's one-liners prove to be an awkward mix. John Witherspoon stills rocks though.

9. DR. DOLITTLE (1998)

Eddie opened a whole new world to himself with THE NUTTY PROFESSOR in 1996. It was called the family comedy and Eddie sold his raw and unforgiving comedic genius for a few bucks and the right to make children laugh. Parents everywhere are overheard whispering "What the f*ck happened to Axel F?" in the theatre as their kids clap and poop all over themselves.

8. I SPY (2002)

Not funny enough? Get Owen Wilson to co-star in your next film, it worked for Jackie Chan. No, it didn't and it doesn't work here either. It's amazing how you can get two equally obnoxious performances to fit in such a mediocre and predictable film. You want to hate them but find yourself too bored to do anything about it.

7. DADDY DAY CARE (2003)

Enjoyable enough but still guilty of pulling Eddie farther away from his comedy roots, maybe more so than any of his other movies. Not only are the little kiddies his target audience at this point in his career, now he's co-starring with them. And they're funnier than he is!

6. HOLY MAN (1998)

Probably the most pointless addition to his filmography to date. Eddie takes a back seat to Jeff Goldblum and Kelly Preston as a whacked-out spiritual guru that helps everyone feel better about themselves except the audience who wishes someone would let Eddie out of this PG rated hell before he explodes and kills someone.

5. DR. DOLITTLE 2 (2001)

Spending the better part of two hours talking to a dog one time in your career isn't enough? This is proof that Eddie has been kept in a constant state of euphoria via reality altering mushrooms starting sometime in 1992. There's no way the guy that played Reggie "f*cking" Hammond stars in two movies that involve talking animals. No way.

4. ANOTHER 48 HRS (1990) & BEVERLY HILLS COP III (1994)

Speaking of Reggie "f*cking" Hammond, this is where it all began. Two characters that defined his greatness visited one too many times. These failures seemed to push Eddie in a different, darker direction that involved PG ratings and fat pay cheques. Still, it might be our last glimpse of Eddie being the guy from Saturday Night Live that we all loved instead of the guy that belongs in Saturday morning cartoons that we all rent for our kids.

3. SHOWTIME (2002)

This one hurts a little more than the others. De Niro is my all time favourite actor, Murphy is the funniest man I've ever seen - together they made me want to saw off my ears and slowly bleed out while lying on a blazing bed of poison darts. But wait, it gets worse!

2. HAUNTED MANSION (2003)

Thinking every movie they base on a theme park ride will make billions, Disney threw together this gem and hoped Eddie could save them. Little did they know that Eddie was so deep into his self-destruction mode that nothing he was involved with (where he wasn't a cartoon character) could be saved. Thankfully, he hasn't done anything this bad since. Every man has his limits.

1. THE ADVENTURES OF PLUTO NASH (2002)

My God is this awful. If Eddie does get an Academy Award nomination for DREAMGIRLS they should use that picture above when they announce his name at the ceremony. If only to remind him of the shit he put us through for so many years. I'll never see anyone funnier than Eddie Murphy in his prime. I can only hope there comes a time when a I can stomach one of his movies again.

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