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09.22.2010by: Jim Law

Top 10 Favorite Movie Cliques

I've come up with some difficult lists to fill in the past but this one might just take top prize. I tried to separate the gangs, groups, clubs, and teams from the standard social cliques and wound up drinking myself to sleep more than half the week while trying to find ten that stood out. If I had a clique it would definitely be the "drunken angry internet writer guys". You'd be surprised how many dudes would hang out with me. Anyhoo, here we go.

Honorable Mention: The Socs - THE OUTSIDERS

I've come to appreciate the Socs more and more over time. A bunch of good lookin' chaps that like to get drunk and pick fights with the slumdogs from the other side of town. There's nothing wrong with any of this.

10. The Housewives - EDWARD SCISSORHANDS

These chicks are almost too interested in the new neighbor. You'd think Edward had hands made of vibrators. How is that not a porno yet? I want an executive producer credit and a cameo. .......I just did some research and discovered EDWARD PENISHANDS. Bullshit.

9. The Goth Chicks - THE CRAFT

I'm so glad I missed out on the whole gothic douche-iness era of high school. Especially because they're all, in fact, witches. As if my teenage love-life wasn't shitty enough as it is, the last thing I needed was to have all my exes form a coven and cast spells on my nutsack at slumber parties.

8. The Bikers & Truckers - FROM DUSK TIL DAWN

My dad is convinced this is a real bar somewhere and wants to go there before he dies. The whole vampires will eat you aspect doesn't even phase him. He also wants the car from 'Night rider', a pet Gremlin, and once tried out for The Ghostbusters. The man loves his beer.

7. The Heathers - HEATHERS

I actually had a group like this at my school, The Bubbas. Just four giant dudes named Bubba that liked to fist-fight cows and smelled of pig's feet. The fact that they were all brother-cousins kind of lessened their mystique.

6. The Geeks - SIXTEEN CANDLES

I think every kid in grade 9 falls into this clique without even knowing it. They're united by glaring social awkwardness and a fascination with women's panties. After writing that last sentence I realized I'm still part of this group.

5. The Punks - RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD

I guess it's not really all the punks as most of them were annoying as hell, just the one hottie-punk that gets naked and dances in the graveyard with her pink hair and the shaved carpet.

4. The Fanboys - FANBOYS

The most modern clique there is. Soon, all of society will be separated by which movies they like. Pick your teams wisely, The FIGHT CLUB group seems cool but you'll end up sweaty and naked with other men night after night. Me? I'm a GOONIE forever.

3. The Plastics - MEAN GIRLS

Much like The Heathers, only exceptionally hot. They probably have the best name for their clique too. It labels them as superficial stuck-up bitches but whatever, at least they don't sound as bad the next bunch.

2. The Greasers - THE OUTSIDERS

Was Fonzie a greaser? I just thought about this while looking at that picture above. Bottom line - I fucking love Fonzie and if he's got any kind of involvement with this clique whatsoever, I'm moving them up a spot. Let me know.

1. The Jocks & The Nerds - REVENGE OF THE NERDS

The Nerds rule but the Jocks never seem to get the amount of respect they deserve in this film. In fact, thinking back, Ogre might be one of the greatest cinematic characters of all time. I always thought he and Booger should have had their own clique anyway.

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