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05.16.2008by: Jim Law

Top 10 Greatest Movie Bar Scenes

My head still hurts after trying to narrow down this list. It's hard to comprehend how many cool sequences have went down in a nightclub, or a stripclub, or a rave, or a milk bar. So many fights, so many hotties, so many puke scenes (future Ten Spot, yes?), so many dance moves, it's really hard just picking ten. As always, I went with my favs and look forward to you kicking me in the nuts and shoving whatever I missed down my throat until I have to go to the hospital and have my stomach pumped of superior opinions. I'm not angry, just drunk, which makes this topic all the more special.

Honourable Mention: 500 - KNOCKAROUND GUYS (2001)

Remember when Vin Deisel was a bad-ass? No? Watch this clip then and tell me he wouldn't kick your balls all over. I tried using this exact same monologue one night while shit-faced at my local Pizza Hut and got bitch-slapped before I made it to the second line. That chick was huge. Is there some sort of class I can take called How to Beat People Up While Looking Ultra Cool? The first six weeks address shaving your arms, tanning, and perfectly placed tattoos. The next six weeks is all beat downs. I'd take this class and then I would be awesome.

10. Stayin' Alive - AIRPLANE! (1980)

Nothing makes me laugh harder in this scene then that gunshot sound effect when he jumps into pose after crash landing on the tables and chairs. Seriously, shit like this keeps me laughing for months. If I even think about the dog farting scene from STUDENT BODIES I'll lose it for hours. Farts are funny enough, but dog farts? I'm crying right now. The old lady bookends are classic too. God knows how many times I've started making a noose the moment someone starts talking to me on an airplane. This includes people I know.

9. Apples - GOOD WILL HUNTING (1997)

See, there doesn't always have to be fighting. Will (Matt Damon) uses his super-brain to fight his battles and save the ass of his idiot friend (Ben Affleck). It's a great scene but the sequel might be even better. As an extra special bonus, check out the JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK scene RIGHT HERE. I love how Kevin Smith went as far as getting the same asshole and look-a-like friends for the background.

8. Reggie Hammond - 48 HRS (1982)

I still remember seeing this in the theater. I turned to my brother and asked "Why is Gumby swearing so much?" "Because he's a bad-ass." he answered and elbowed my mouth shut. This was the moment Eddie Murphy became the biggest star on the planet.

7. Bloody Mary - NEAR DARK (1987)

As much credit Bill Paxton gets for his role as Hudson in ALIENS, he deserves just as much here. A lot of the carnage is missing from the clip above but you still get an overall feeling of horror as, one by one, patrons are picked off as nothing but a late snack.

6. Luke's Bodyguard - STAR WARS (1977)

I think all bouncers should be allowed to carry light sabers. This scene is more about the visuals than the action. Little did we know aliens of all shape and size like to tie one on after a long day of intergalactic warfare. It doesn't hurt that we get to meet Han Solo and Chewbacca a little later either.

5. Shine Box - GOODFELLAS (1990)

Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) is one scary little f*cker. One wrong word and you can end up full of holes, wrapped up in a tablecloth lying in his trunk. One right word and you can hang around with him and take part in more than your fair share of murdering. You probably can count on him killing you either way.

4. Spawn of Mogwai - GREMLINS (1984)

Much like STAR WARS, it's fun to watch different beings get drunk and do stupid things. This scene alone was probably enough reason to make GREMLINS 2. Having different character Gremlins doing human things was pretty much the entire premise of the sequel. As I've asked before though, why aren't they reacting to getting wet? Gizmo gets a couple drops on him and shoots out a litter. These assholes drink all night and have nothing to show for it?

3. El Mariachi - DESPERADO (1995)

I always put off seeing this film due to Antonio Banderas. He was one of those guys I just decided I didn't like without giving much of a chance. It's now one of my favorite action films ever made. And it's mostly due to Antonio Banderas. Nothing sums up my love more than this scene.

2. Day Walker - BLADE (1998)

It's kind of sad that the best part of your trilogy is over within the first five minutes but with so much quality ass kicking and freaky vampire shit going on, these five minutes justify the other 4 hours and 25 minutes. It's not even really a bar (more of a rave) but how much do we really know about the undead club scene?

1. Titty Twister - FROM DUSK TIL DAWN (1996)

The first half of this movie kept me satisfied to say the least. Watching Clooney and Tarantino swing their giant brass balls around was more than enough for any fan of the anti-hero. However, it wasn't until they got to the Titty Twister (and more importantly, a half-naked and undead Salma) that transformed this fan into a fanboy. Look, Vampire-Cheech just got melted on the bar. Fred Williamson just ripped that guys heart out with his bare hands. Tom "f*cking" Savini has a cock-gun!!!!! This movie gets better every time I watch it, and while most people I talk to hate the horror twist, I couldn't have it any other way.

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