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Top 10 Hottie Hollywood Offspring

04.20.2011by: Jim Law
It must suck for dads when they realize their daughter is smoking hot. Especially when you're an actor and she wants to follow in daddy's footsteps, leading to a 75% chance she shows her rack while trying to make a name for herself. How do you attend that premiere? It's something I'll never have to deal with since our 7-month-old little girl has already told us she's going to grow up and cure brain cancer from the safety of our basement and then win the lottery. Until then, here's some of the hottest current working actresses that are doing their best to steal mommy and/or daddy's spotlight.

10. Dakota Johnson

Daughter of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson, Dakota has recently popped up in THE SOCIAL NETWORK and BEASTLY. It has been reported that if you ever play anything by Hans Zimmer around her she will kill you.

9. Zoe Kravitz

After an annoying arc on 'Californication' last season, Zoe will appear in X-MEN: FIRST CLASS later this year. Being the spawn of Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet, I wonder when Zoe made the leap from watching her mom lead the perfect life in 'The Cosby Show' to getting the full force of Mickey Rourke's thrusts while smearing herself in chicken blood in ANGEL HEART. That's a weird family dinner that follows.

8. Bryce Dallas Howard

After a 4-day-long 'Happy Days' marathon in the late-eighties, Bryce wondered how it was possible her dad ever got laid and developed a forbidden crush on Ralph Malph. Dude was funny as shit. She would later do her part in making the world hate M. Night Shyamalan and ending one of the most profitable movie franchises in history (SPIDER-MAN 3). I'm kidding. She is really pale though.

7. Lorraine Nicholson

You gotta be careful when writing shit about Jack's little girl. Especially after watching her prance around in a bikini for an hour-and-a-half during the newly released SOUL SURFER. The last thing I need is HIM showing up to the JoBlo offices and glaring me to death. I don't know what makes her hotter though, the tight little body mixed with the golden locks or the court-side Lakers tickets she's going to have thrown in her lap after Jack finishes his bucket list. I'm joking of course, I never saw SOUL SURFER.

6. Kate Hudson

There's no doubt Goldie Hawn's daughter has built her career making movies that boil my soul in acid over the past few years. And seeing her cheering at Yankees games made me want to bite her. However, I can't deny the absolute beauty of this woman and will never forget her flawless performance in ALMOST FAMOUS. You are indeed tearing me apart, Kate. Stop it.

5. Gwyneth Paltrow

As much as I find it useless, Gwen's crossover into the world of country music is leading to a huge comeback in the hottie department for me. If you watched her performance at the Grammys on mute (like I did) you'd know what I was talking about. COUNTRY STRONG might as well have been called LOOK AT MY NEW ASS.

4. Emma Roberts

The newest SCREAM queen is already more famous than her dad (Eric Roberts) but now she has to deal with the iconic status of her evil aunt Julia. Her mouth is a good first step in taking her place and as long as she can continue to steer clear of the generic rom-com bullshit she should surpass Jules by 2034. This is just an estimate.

3. Dominik Garcia-Lorido

Whoa, where the hell has Andy Garcia been hiding her? All is forgiven though after unleashing her talents as a stripper in the decent CITY ISLAND last year. More of that, please. Just more of her in general would be nice.

2. Angelina Jolie

Just the fact that everybody thought she would be number one makes me deny her the chance. To be honest, I'm kind of tired of her royalty charade and those ridiculous lips. She was way more interesting when she was crazy and wore blood vials around her neck.

1. Eva Amurri

As Angelina fades from my memory, Eva has found a home there. Her turn in 'Californication' was one of the most powerful introductions in modern television. Her mom (Susan Sarandon) is still a MILF, she's got four movies coming out this year, eyes like volleyballs, and the body of a sex goddess. I'm down.

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