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01.05.2006by: Jim Law

Top 10 Jennifers

If you're trying to make it in Hollywood with a name like Jennifer, you might want to mix it up a bit. Jenna might work, so could Jenny, J.J., Jenster, Guinevere, Hot-Assed-Jen, or even J- (insert first syllable of last name). If you decide to leave it just Jennifer you'll be taking a back seat to most of the girls below for awhile. The good news is you have fantastic odds of getting banged by Ben Affleck. It's amazing how much greatness one name can bring to the world of Smoking Hot Actresses. Welcome to 2006. I hope you didn't give up hotties for the new year.

10. Jennifer Eve Garth

Her film career might not have skyrocketed after spending the 90s as a fleshy Frisbee tossed back and forth between Brandon and Dylan on 90210, but you have to admire Jennie's graceful transition from school slut to sexy MILF. She holds her own starring beside up-and-coming hottie, Amanda Bynes, on the WB's "What I Like About You" and still has time to pop up in the odd TV movie and make babies with Peter Facinelli. Also, never forget her importance in the movement to let Donna Martin graduate.

9. Jennifer Ellison

Long after the city of Liverpool blessed us with a little band called The Beatles, they decided to spring Miss Ellison on our asses. She dances better than Britney, sings smoother than Christina, wears lingerie as well as any super model, and even has time to step in front of a camera and read some dialogue once in a while. She turned a guest spot on the British soap opera "Brookside" into a five year stint and found her way into American theatres with THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA in 2004.

8. Jennifer Esposito

Slowly but surely becoming a major player in Hollywood, Jen struck gold by bumping uglies with Don Cheadle in the Oscar starving CRASH at the end of 2004. The rest of her portfolio isn't too bad either, from her days on "Spin City" to doing the unthinkable by making people actually sit through THE MASTER OF DISGUISE. Those giant eyes and tendency to expose her chest bone are only going to help things in an already bright future.

7. Jennifer McCarthy

She might have been Playboy's Playmate of the Year over ten years ago but Jenny still has what it takes to hang with the big girls. It's not all about the looks anymore either. J-Mac took on writing and producing duties on last year's DIRTY LOVE, another writing project, ROLLIN, was announced last year too but has yet to develop. Sometimes she's crazy, sometimes she's sexy as all hell, but she'll always be the chick that sucked the chrome off a trailer hitch in BASEKETBALL to me.

6. Jennifer Marie Massoli

Yes, better known as Jenna Jameson, the woman that made porn okay to talk about again. She's starred in more "movies" than all these other Jennifers combined, had a best selling biography in 2004, appeared in countless issues of Hustler, Penthouse, and Cheri, stripped, held down a serious drug problem, and dated Marilyn Manson. What started out as some innocent girl-on-girl action has turned into her own entertainment enterprise called ClubJenna and an entire industry riding her to the top.

5. Jennifer Anne Garner

The kid's out - the ass is back. After a brief break to birth baby Affleck, Jen has a full slate of flicks set to hit theatres in the next couple years including a voice over in CHARLOTTE'S WEB and seven hundred romantic comedies. As she sits and watches Jessica Biel take all the quality action roles out from under her, she continues to fall from the hearts of fanboys worldwide. The girl is just too talented to stay down though so everybody better watch their back as she eases the baby off the tit and gets back into the spotlight.

4. Jennifer Lynn Lopez

From one Bennifer to the next. What once was a promising career in the late nineties (U-TURN, OUT OF SIGHT, THE CELL) has gone the chick-flick route. It's not all bad but man, I expected it to be a lot better. She's still an icon though and her shying away from the limelight is rightly deserved after the shit she went through with Ben. Expect a huge comeback real soon.

3. Jennifer Aniston

Sure, she was named GQ's woman of the year but around here she's only the third best Jennifer in the world. She's turned out to be the media darling through all the Brad and Angelina chaos and amazingly hasn't stopped working for a second, except to eat topless in her backyard. It's hard to figure out where the controversy spotlight ends and the true talent begins but Jen has definitely made a gigantic name for herself since leaving her Friends behind.

2. Jennifer Love Hewitt

Since GARFIELD hit the big screen in 2004, Love has went back to her television roots and seemingly struck gold with "Ghost Whisperer". It's kind of odd then, now that she's got this huge family fan base, to take a role as a infamous hooker in SHE HAD BRAINS, A BODY, AND THE ABILITY TO MAKE MEN LOVE HER due later this year. God love her for it though, we've been waiting for this role for a decade. If she announces her next part is a slutty Roller Derby girl that can swallow her own fist, I'll know who stole my diary

1. Jennifer Lynn Connelly

Her credits already stand out from the others on this list, but when you see the type of talent she's surrounding herself with in the next couple years (Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Djimon Hounsou, Robert Duvall, and Dustin Hoffman) you realize how hot a property she really is. I'll forgive her for HULK and DARK WATER as long as I have DARK CITY and A BEAUTIFUL MIND to keep me happy. Kudos to whoever taught her how to pluck eyebrows.

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