Latest Movie News Headlines

08.11.2010by: Jim Law

Top 10 Most Evil Movie Bugs

My brother is a pussy when it comes to spiders. My wife has come close to fainting at the sight of a stray centipede in the basement. Me, I'll fuck em' up. I've never had a problem with something that is 6000x smaller than me. The things below are a whole different story. Whether it be their abnormal size or their strength in numbers, the participants on this list have given me some of the most uncomfortable moments I've ever had while watching a film. Shit just ain't right.

Honorable Mention: Hopper - A BUG'S LIFE

Hop doesn't really measure up to the rest of the satanic whores on this list but I wanted to include him one way or another since I consider him to be one of Pixar's greatest villains, in one of their most under-appreciated films. I'd still squash his ass if he ever started talking shit to me though.

10. The Queen - ARACHNOPHOBIA

If I can't end a spider problem by stepping on it, there's something wrong. In fact, if the only way to kill said spider is to light in on fire and shoot it with a nail gun, we've got some serious issues. I don't own a nail gun.

9. The Cockroaches - CREEPSHOW

Upson Pratt is such an asshole, the roaches might have to be consider the heroes in this short. However, there's nothing heroic about killing a man by eating him from the inside out. They should really be ashamed of themselves.

8. Them - THEM!

The first giant bug movie deserves some love from this list. I wonder if there are any common ants in the world that have caught a screening of this and just blew their load with excitement. Can you even begin to imagine how much ants fucking hate us?

7. The Creeps - NIGHT OF THE CREEPS

Alien bugs are the worst. Especially when they crawl into your mouth, take over your brain, and turn you into a zombie. Earth just had a couple of these things dropped down and they almost took over the planet. Can you imagine how annoying they are on their home world? Makes mosquitoes seem a little more tolerable.

6. Ceti Eel - STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KAHN

Here's a description of the Ceti Eel's life: The slime-covered larva will seek out a larger animal, enter its skull through the ear and wrap itself around the cerebral cortex. As the larva grows, the host suffers from insanity and eventually, death. Awesome. You know those special rooms in hell you always here about? There's one filled with these fuckers.

5. Shelob - LOTR: RETURN OF THE KING

Shelob is a cunt. She has no friends, a fat ass, and is too stupid to realize she had a chance to possess the most powerful piece of jewelry in the history of the universe. To make matters worse, she gets bitch slapped by the fat kid.

4. Skull Island Bugs - KING KONG (2005)

I've never hated and loved a scene so much at the same time. I'd much rather the giant gorilla stomp me than be subjected to the horror of this pit. Actually, you name it, and I'm pretty sure I would rather do whatever you can think of than fight off these giant fucking assholes. The first weapon I found would be used on my own face.

3. The Judas Breed - MIMIC

They were invented to destroy the cockroach problem. They were supposed to die off shortly after. Instead they evolved, grew up, learned how to look human, and started eating us. That's a fucked up situation right there. I blame New York.

2. Edgar - MEN IN BLACK (tie)

Both these entries come short of the top spot because they're actually Aliens. Whose to say they're considered bugs on their home planet. I'm just making excuses, now. Edgar would definitely be number one on The 10 Grosses Hillbillies list, but we're not there yet.

2. Bugs - STARSHIP TROOPERS (tie)

It isn't enough that these bastards are way bigger then us and and don't need weapons to destroy thousands of our troops, they have to go and throw an asteroid at us too? If we really got invaded by these things, how long do you think the planet lasts? Seriously.

1. Brundlefly - THE FLY

Here's what makes Brundlefly the most evil bug - he's half human. That brings an entire new set of rules to his sadistic tendencies and twisted agenda. Normal flies use that regurgitation trick above to liquefy food so they can eat, so they can survive. Brundlefly does it because he hates that dude's beard and the fact that it rubs up on his woman. Lesson learned. Don't grow a beard.

MORE FUN FROM AROUND THE WEB

Strikeback
Not registered? Sign-up!
Or

Featured Youtube Videos

Views and Counting

Movie Hottie Of The Week

More