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10.18.2006by: Jim Law

Top 10 Most Helpful Dead Guys

Halloween is just around the corner which means another year of dead guys getting a bad rap. Sure, ghosts can be pretty creepy and zombies still enjoy to feast on our flesh now and again but I'm here to prove that not all of the recently deceased have evil agendas. Some of them just want to hang out and talk shit all day like nothing happened. Some of them want to save the world. Some of them even want to sing, like that dude above who most graciously helped Shaun and Ed out by belting out a solo during their drunken rendition of 'White Lines (Don't Do It)'. So the next time you run into a dead guy give him a chance and see what's up. If he's cool take him to Hooters for a Smothered Chicken sandwich. If he tries to bite your face, aim for the head.

10. Death - BILL & TED'S BOGUS JOURNEY (1991)

Who better to start off a list about death than the man himself? To be fair, Death is only helping the boys because he got his ass handed to him in consecutive games of Battleship, Cluedo, Twister, and electronic football but he seems to warm up to their idiocy by the end and has a huge part in letting Wyld Stallyns rightfully rule the world.


Even though Jack (Griffin Dunne) gets the short end of the stick during a werewolf attack on him and his buddy, David (David Naughton), he returns from the afterlife to warn Davey Boy to do the only right thing and kill himself before the curse spreads. Dave decides to ignore the rotting corpse of his best friend and ends up in a heap of trouble whenever the moon turns full.

8. Victor Pascow - PET SEMATARY (1989)

Another dead guy with good advice ignored. Louis (Dale Midkiff) literally walks right through Vic (Brad Greenquist) as he's warning him to not cross the border into the tainted soil of the Micmac burial ground where dead things tend to not stay dead. This leads to the chaos of a house full of stinky cats and scalpel wielding children.

7. Mick & Pnub - IDLE HANDS (1999)

You'd think Mick (Seth Green) and Pnub (Elden Henson) would be pissed after Anton's (Devon Sawa) possessed hand bludgeons one with a broken bottle and decapitates the other, but these guys are too lazy to get off the couch to die and end up helping Anton catch and destroy the evil hand before it sacrifices the smoking hot Molly (Jessica Alba).

6. Dr. Malcolm Crowe - THE SIXTH SENSE (1999)

I had Crowe (Bruce Willis) in the top five before realizing that he actually doesn't do much to help anybody through the course of the film. Sure, he talks to Cole (Haley Joel Osment) about his problems and thinks he's making head way with the mother and his wife but by the time he figures out he's dead it's obvious nobody but the kid was listening. E for effort though Doc.

5. Bub - DAY OF THE DEAD (1985)

Every zombie loving freak has a soft spot for Bub (Sherman Howard), the undead lab rat. He shows us that zombies can read books upside down, enjoy a dose of classical music, answer silent phones, shave layers of skin off his face, fire an empty gun, and salute when saluted. All he asks for in return is a little bit of human entrails.

4. Pete Sandich - ALWAYS (1989)

After Pete (Richard Dreyfuss) is killed putting out forest fires he's called on to inspire his replacement and subsequently has to watch the guy move in on his old girlfriend. Instead of going the typical rage filled possession route, Pete learns to let go of love, teaches the boy how to fly, and ends up saving everyone's ass in the end.

3. Sam Wheat - GHOST (1990)

If you die and find out you can still communicate with the living via Whoopi Goldberg, it's time to move on. Pack your bags and head straight for the light. Sam (Patrick Swayze) does the exact opposite and uses Whoopi to prove his love from beyond, solve murder mysteries, and stop cold hearted conspiracies.

2. Stuart, Cyrus, & The Judge - THE FRIGHTENERS (1996)

If you are a paranormal con artist you're going to need some dead guys in the loop. Frank Bannister (Michael J. Fox) uses these three to his advantage by having them haunt houses while he exorcises them out for a hefty fee. When the Grim reaper shows up and goes on a killing spree, Frank and the boys do everything they can to stop the insanity.

1. Obi-Wan Kenobi - STAR WARS IV-VI

Where the hell would Luke (Mark Hamill) be without Obi-Wan (Alec Guinness) popping up every time he needs guidance? Whether it's to remind him to use the Force or to tell him him he made out with his sister or just to give him an encouraging look of content as he burns his father's body during an Ewok party, Obi-Wan truly is the greatest dead guy who ever lived.



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