Top 10 Oscar Questions
I couldn't care less about what everyone is going to be wearing. I don't need to know how long the broadcast is going to be. Who's sitting next to who? Will Jack show up? Is Ellen going to dance? None of this shit matters to me. However, I do have some burning questions of my own this year. There's a good chance after the ceremony is finished, none of these mysteries will be solved and I'll be left in a puddle of my own filth, teary-eyed and flatulent during the after-parties. So be it, I just had to ask.