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Jul. 14, 2010by: Jim Law

Top 10 Reasons I Don't Poop in Public

Yes, I get paid for this. So, I'm at a wedding last night and head to the bathroom to drop off 6 or 7 drinks into the urinal. I walk in on two older gentlemen catching up in the doorway. As I start my piss they separate, one to a urinal, the other to a stall. It was dead silent for a moment...... and then the dude in the stall literally explodes out of his ass. It was one of the most disturbing sounds I've ever heard. Imagine having a cork stuffed up your O-ring for a month and then suddenly popping it out with enough force you actually hover for a few seconds. I looked at the old guy that was just talking to him and there was no reaction whatsoever. I was laughing so hard I accidentally started pissing in the urinal next to me. Ten seconds ago they were engaged in a conversation about grandchildren, pensions, and baseball - now one of them is melting into the toilet and neither think anything of it.

I never want to be in that situation. Or any of the ones below.

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