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12.08.2003by: Jim Law

Top 10 Unexpected Gratuitous Nudity Scenes

Boobs can strike when you least expect them. We at JoBlo.com love mixing our movies with our women. With so many incredibly hot ladies to choose from, it gets kind of hard to keep track of who's doing what. I've decided to comprise this top-ten list of the ones that have left their mark with me. Each and every one of these scenes was jaw-dropping, to say the least, the first time I saw them. I didn't expect them, and now I love them.

10. Susan Sarandon - The Hunger

I discovered Susan, like most readers on this site, much later in her career from her stellar dramatic turns in flicks such as Dead Man Walking and Thelma and Louise. So when I caught The Hunger on cable years back, I was knocked on my ass by a completely nude lesbian romp featuring a young and very hot Sarandon being seduced by a horny vampire (Catherine Deneuve). This is obviously the reason Tim Robbins loves her so much.

9. Lisa Bonet: Angel Heart

As much as I loved The Cosby Show when I was a kid, there was always three things I wanted to see happen. 1) Theo get his ass beat. 2) Somebody get fed up with Rudy's wisecracks and punt her through a wall and 3) Watch Denise have hard-core sex with Mickey Rourke while they're showered with blood pouring from the ceiling. The first two never really panned out for me but thanks to Lisa's prominent display of rebellion and disregard of Huxtable family values, I got my last wish.

8. Joey Lauren Adams: Mallrats

I remember watching this for the first time and marveling at Claire Forlani. The way she smiled, the way she spoke, the way she fit into those jeans, and then.....BAM! Silent Bob puts his head through a wall and gets a peek at the unrelenting perkiness of Ms. Adams' privates. Not only did this scene steal Forlani's thunder, it landed her in bed with the director and the lead role in his next flick (Chasing Amy). Now that's what I call a money shot.

7. Milla Jovovich: Resident Evil

This is the only scene on the list that made me stop and rewind the movie. Not for the sake of being a pervert but to confirm if I actually saw what I thought I saw. The pervert factor set in when I paused it upon second viewing and called a friend over. When Milla wakes up near the end of the movie she finds herself in a strange white room. There is no sign of life, there are no zombies, there is no underwear. As she rolls off the examining table everybody gets a glimpse of the Umbrella Corporation's secret weapon. For some reason I don't remember this part in the video game.

6. Elizabeth Shue: Cocktail

Although Liz went on to do some more quality nakedness later in her career, it was this moment that shed her of the girl-next-door persona. As if we needed any more proof that Tom Cruise is the luckiest son-of-a-beyotch on the planet (seriously, think about the women he's been nude with. Diaz, De Mornay, Cruz, Zellweger, Kidman, McGillis), Liz gives him a private little strip tease under a private little waterfall before getting herself knocked up and leaving her clothes on for the remainder of the movie. Made me forget Adventures in Babysitting real quick. Didn't make me forget about The Karate Kid simply because Macchio rules!

5. Halle Berry: Swordfish

Okay, this scene wasn't really unexpected since any retarded movie fan with internet access knew about it months in advance. The shock here was how utterly fantastic the stars of the show turned out to be. If you were like me, you expected total disappointment, something that usually goes hand in hand with overly aggressive movie hype. Not here. As the scene edged closer and closer it felt similar to my anticipation of the final duel between Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader. Would it be everything I ever dreamed? Would good triumph over evil? Would they be droopy and oddly shaped? In the end, Halle's light sabers put on quite a show and I would have to wait for said disappointment after watching that wretchedly disturbing sex scene with Billy Bob in Monster's Ball.

4. Heather Graham: Boogie Nights

It's just your average "porn king persuades young stud with the huge crank to have sex in front of a camera" scene. That is, until Rollergirl slides into the room. The unexpectedness of this scene was enhanced by the dialogue. " Here we go! Are we going to f*ck?" rings through my head whenever I see Ms. Graham, roller skates or not. Rollergirl is easily one of my favorite characters of all time, gliding through the house with ease, trying to convince Julianne Moore to be her mom while freaking out on cocaine, smashing the face of volunteer porn stars with the wheels of her skates. What more can a guy ask for?

3. Katie Holmes: The Gift

This was a real treat. As big a fan of Raimi as I am, I barely heard a peep about this flick when it popped into theatres. So when Katie's shirt gets ripped open while she's trying to convince Greg Kinnear to hump her in the parking lot, I soiled myself. And I don't mean the stinky kind. Can you imagine if she pulled this shit down at the Creek? I think it would be a little too much for Dawson's gigantic head to comprehend. We need more of these goody-two-shoes girls to follow Katie's lead and start releasing the hounds. You hear me Sandra Bullock?

2. Jamie Lee Curtis: Trading Places

I know everybody says this wasn't really Jamie's body, but I don't care. Remember, I'm talking about how I felt the moment I saw it. After watching her get her ass beat by Michael Myers so often, I thought this was the toughest, hardest, butch of a women I'd ever laid eyes on. But when I saw those mountains in the mirror while she was getting changed in the hotel room I realized why Michael was relentless in his pursuit of this women. No, it wasn't because she's his sister, it's because he wanted to tap that ass. If you've seen the recent photos of Jamie Lee in that woman's magazine that show how age has caught up with her, you'll cherish this scene even more.

1. Phoebe Cates: Fast Times at Ridgemont High

The Holy Grail of sweet surprises. If it were up to me, Phoebe Cates would have been in every movie ever made after this. Naked. Thank you Phoebe, for showing me that girls were good for something other than throwing mud at during recess. Thank you for setting a standard for young hot women everywhere to immediately remove their bikini top after exiting any swimming pool. And most of all Phoebe, thank you for getting my mind off of childish things such as basketball and soccer and burying it knee deep into the gutter, where I allow myself to make up articles like this one.

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