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01.24.2008by: Jim Law

Top 12 British Hotties

Holy f*ck, are there ever a lot of British actresses I've never heard of. I thought I had a handle on the situation by getting caught up with those wacky HARRY POTTER movies and sitting through three seasons of Footballer's Wives. Turns out there's more to it than that. British people are everywhere. All week I've been Googling "British Hotties" and fighting through the 40-50 pages dedicated to Hugh Laurie and Orlando Bloom sites that haven't been updated for five years. Hopefully it's all paid off. As always, my criteria is weak - 95% hotness, 5% career. This allows me to include woman like Keeley Hazell for having one acting credit to her name (as "Naked Girl" none the less) and leave off much more talented old ladies. As much as I bent the rules though, I couldn't find room for Katie Price (although her impact is still present - see above) and dodged a bullet when I found out Emma Watson was born in France (she's 17). For now I'll just take a deep breath and wait until you strike back below to find out who I missed. I will then write witty and personal hate-filled replies to your posts and read them to my Godzilla doll before deleting them. It makes me feel better.

Honourable Mention: Thandie Newton

She was the only reason to go see things like MISSION IMPOSSIBLE II, THE TRUTH ABOUT CHARLIE, THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK, and NORBIT. Don't let that resume fool you though. Fantastic performances in CRASH, THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS, and a little known gem called SHADE have solidified a career to be proud of.

12. Michelle Ryan

Television's new Bionic Woman may be fresh to North American eyes but back home her name was made while starring in EastEnders, a popular British soap opera. I'm kind of digging her more and more as I research her background. Not too skinny, sexy fake accent, and bionic. She reminds me of Liv Tyler, only more Britishy.

11. Billie Piper

I've always meant to get into Doctor Who if only to see what the buzz is all about. Billie makes that decision a little easier. Adored by fans of the show, Billie abruptly left at the end of the second season but has since signed on to return for 2008. I might be even more interested in her other show, Secret Diary of a Call Girl, which features several semi-nude scenes, lesbian romps, and exposed breasts. Doctor who?

10. Jennifer Ellison

It all started with a little photo shoot she did for FHM magazine in 1999 entitled Jailbait. She was 16. Along with the creepy-old-man following she quickly assembled, her career has rounded out to include acting gigs for television, film, and theatre as well as a short lived pop rock music career. Add all that to the dance championships and fitness DVDs and you've got yourself a busy little hottie.

9. Emily Blunt

In the past two years Emily has shared screen time with the likes of Susan Sarandon, Tom Hanks, Meryl Streep, and Julia Roberts. Not a bad way to jump start a career in Hollywood. Her bed, however, is being shared with Grammy Award winning Canadian, Michael Bublé. She likes the Canucks. This is a good thing.

8. Gemma Atkinson

All the soap operas, reality shows, and magazine shoots have seemed to pay off for Gemma as she has finally achieved her dream of getting on the big screen in BOOGIE WOOGIE, alongside Heather Graham, scheduled for later this year. No word if this is the Rollergirl spin-off to BOOGIE NIGHTS I've recently dreamt about. Until then you can get your fix of her by checking out Ultimo's lingerie line called D-G, created for big breasted women and their admirers.

7. Kelly Brook

The best thing to ever happen to Billy Zane (they're engaged) has kept busy over the years by popping up in films such as THE ITALIAN JOB, HOUSE OF 9, and SURVIVAL ISLAND but is probably better known for being a Page Three Girl in The Sun and topping FHM's Sexiest Women in the World in 2005. And that bathing suit.

6(a). Rachel Weisz

The incredible talent that is Rachel is being blurred due to those pictures above. She could have been in a Pepsi commercial and still made this list for wearing that leather jumpsuit. And snakes, well what's hotter than having a snake curl up in your naked crotch for the sake of print? Beautiful is hardly the word for such a fantastic actress.

6(b). Rhona Mitra

She had to be in the top 6 and there was nobody worth bumping out. I won't bullshit you here though, I totally forgot about her until, ironically, terraphim86 wished her to be left off the list. Truth is I'm a big fan of Rhona and she would have made the upper half of this list regardless. I just needed someone to tell me not to include her to include her. Thanks terraphim, and uh.... sorry. For the record - this is the first time I have ever edited a Ten Spot after posting the first half. She's that hot.

5. Keeley Hazell

From the proven thespian to the woman who's boobs I've seen more than my wife's. Her big screen career is scarce and even her sex tape is incredibly disappointing (unless you enjoy man-ass), but there's something about Keeley that makes her worth your time. Word that she might be in talks for a new BAYWATCH movie help me with the guilt of having her so far up on this list. I'm pretty sure she acted in a school play or some shit too.

4. Elizabeth Hurley

It wasn't your typical way of launching a career, what with your famous boyfriend's penis in the mouth of a hooker, but Liz has made the best of her Clintonesque scandal. The movies may have stopped but her swimwear line and the offspring of a multi-millionaire (Steven Bing) keep her living comfortably I'm sure.

3. Keira Knightley

If somehow Natalie Portman and Winona Ryder ever conceived a baby, this is exactly what she'd look like. Nothing has really gone wrong for Keira in the 8 years she's been around Hollywood. Early making-a-name-for-yourself nudity? Check (THE HOLE). STAR WARS? Check (THE PHANTOM MENACE). Trilogy of films each making over $300 million? Check (PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN). Oscar nom? Check (PRIDE & PREJUDICE). Add that to all the hype about ATONEMENT and her refusal to stop being hot means she'll probably be around for a while.

2. Kate Winslet

Anything Keira can do, Kate can do better. Five Oscar nominations, the highest grossing film of all time, and much more nudity to boot. Quite simply, Kate is one of the greatest actors of her generation and her inclusion on this list needs no justification. It's a travesty she hasn't won the big prize yet but at least I know she'll sleep better tonight knowing she made a Ten Spot.

1. Kate Beckinsale

The career might not be as flashy as the last two entries but the time-stopping beauty fills in the gaps. Perfect human specimens don't come along too often. We get Kate and David Hasselhoff in one generation. What are the chances? After a stellar turn in VACANCY last year Kate looks to be going in the right direction with the whole acting thing. WHITEOUT is based on a pretty cool comic and WINGED CREATURES looks to be some solid Oscar bait, throwing her alongside heavies such as Forest Whitaker, Jackie Earle Haley, Dakota Fanning, Guy Pearce, and Jennifer Hudson. Both are due this year. Wave your flag proud you crazy Brits, women just don't get hotter than one Kate Beckinsale.

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