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Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Happy Madison Productions!

Jul. 15, 2013by: Jesse Giroux

Movie Jail

This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.

The Defendant

Happy Madison

The Case

The Prosecution: Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigalo, Little Nicky, The Animal, Joe Dirt, Mr. Deeds, Master of Disguise, The Hot Chick, Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star, 50 First Dates, The Longest Yard, The Benchwarmers, Strange Wilderness, I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry, The House Bunny, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star, That's My Boy, Grown Ups 1 & 2

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you might think this is a case of Double Jeopardy since Adam Sandler was tossed into Movie Jail last year, but as Harvey Dent explained in The Dark Knight if you can charge one conspirator with a felony you can can charge the rest with the same offense. And Happy Madison Productions is definitely the "one big pot" that Lau speaks of. A big pot of shit.

The prosecution wishes to point out that we aren't bringing charges against Happy Madison or pilling on Adam Sandler because it's the "cool" or trendy thing to do. No, we are just sick of him and his company. At this point there are only two types of films worse than a film from Happy Madison: Tyler Perry movies or anything from those Epic Movie/Date Movie/Meet the Spartans assholes, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. The prosecution is convinced that when the apocalypse happens it will be when Sandler, Perry, Friedberg and Seltzer all come together to make one film. It'll probably make a billion dollars but it will bring about the end of the world, mark my words.

Does even a single year go by without a film from Happy Madison being nominated for a Razzie? They're like the Miramax of Golden Raspberry Awards. Happy Madison was formed in 1999 and since then for every one film that might be slightly tolerable (see defense's list) there's a half dozen that are so lacking in intelligence and original humor that you might as well eat paint chips since it'll probably do less brain damage than if you watched these movies.

Happy Madison's biggest offense though? They keep giving Nick Swardson work. The prosecution can't think of another comedian that's more grating, irritating and unfunny, yet Mr. Swardson seems to always be able to find work with Happy Madison. That includes what is possibly one of the worst movies of all time, Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star. That movie is so bad it makes Joe Dirt look like Taxi Driver. Yet it still didn't win a Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Picture because it lost to...Jack and Jill.

I say enough is enough. If you don't want this world to end up like it does in Idiocracy, you'll do the right thing and declare Happy Madison Productions guilty of these terrible crimes against cinema.

Happy Madison

The Defense: Anger Management, Grandma's Boy, Reign Over Me, Bedtime Stories, Funny People

Ladies and gentlemen, the list for the defense may be short, but we're not here to argue about the quality of Happy Madison's films. However, we have to realize that there is an audience for these movies. The prosecution goes on about how unintelligent these films are, but is it really just dumb people that watch them? Of course not.

There are people that say they love films and then there are the people that really love films. If you're reading this right now and you go to JoBlo.com every day, you're probably in the later group. We have to remember that there are plenty of people out there that won't be interested in a film just because it's by a certain director (*cough* Pacific Rim *cough*), and maybe some of them just don't care about comic book movies. Some may not feel the same passion for film as we do, the same appreciation for the art of cinema. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. As a film geek, can you relate to someone that is really into NASCAR? Would you want to be crapped on by those fans for not enjoying a certain driver? I doubt it.

Some people just want a simple film that makes them laugh. So while many may tear apart Grown Ups 2, Here Comes the Boom, or Just Go with It, these films were never meant for critics or film geeks. They're for people that just want to come home from work and escape for a bit without having to think. If you want to judge Happy Madison, you'll be judging those people too. Some of you may be fine with that, but I'm not. I'm sure one of you has a Mom that liked Just Go With It, and maybe your Dad really enjoys The Longest Yard. Does this make them bad people? And isn't Happy Madison just giving them exactly what they want? The defense rests.

Happy Madison

IN CLOSING...

So what is to be done with Happy Madison Productions? Are they a lazy company, or are they just catering to a certain market? Is it time to send the entire company to Movie Jail? Is Happy Madison Productions GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?

Can we at least agree Nick Swardson needs to be kicked in the taint? 

COMMENT BELOW WITH YOUR VERDICT!

*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyways, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.

WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?

Happy Madison

LAST WEEK'S VERDICT

Johnny Depp

After looking over the evidence and arguments from last week, the jury has decided that Johnny Depp is NOT GUILTY of all charges. That doesn't mean Mr. Depp is free and clear to make another film with Tim Burton. The jury found the Mr. Depp not guilty, but they said we should still keep a close eye on the actor. Hopefully he avoids Alice in Wonderland 2 and focuses on more things like Transcendence.

PREVIOUS VERDICTS

GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr. , Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher

NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp

Extra Tidbit: What actor, actress, writer or director would you like to see go on trial next week? Share your suggestions below with your verdict!
Source: JoBlo.com

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10:16AM on 07/16/2013

guilty

Is this even in need of discussing? just look at that thick paragraph that makes up the prosecution.
Is this even in need of discussing? just look at that thick paragraph that makes up the prosecution.
Your Reply:



+3
5:19AM on 07/16/2013

GUILTY

These movies are not made for entertainment value, they're made so that Adam Sandler's no talent groupies can get easy money.
These movies are not made for entertainment value, they're made so that Adam Sandler's no talent groupies can get easy money.
Your Reply:



5:00AM on 07/16/2013

Guilty

Because of.... Oh, who cares. Hang them already.
Because of.... Oh, who cares. Hang them already.
Your Reply:



3:11AM on 07/16/2013

Guilty! ahhh!

Happy Madison productions needs to be sent to jail....they have made so much crap lately...ADAM SANDLER WAKE UP, stop allowing your friends to have movies....Kevin James CAN NOT have his own solo movie, James is not a lead actor, he is a side kick, he is 2nd or 3rd bananna..thats it . I cant believe Kevin James became friends with Sandler, to me thats an odd paring.
Why do you keep Nick Swardson work? he isnt funny at all...he plays guys with no clue, guys who cant grow up, etc.
Sandler
Happy Madison productions needs to be sent to jail....they have made so much crap lately...ADAM SANDLER WAKE UP, stop allowing your friends to have movies....Kevin James CAN NOT have his own solo movie, James is not a lead actor, he is a side kick, he is 2nd or 3rd bananna..thats it . I cant believe Kevin James became friends with Sandler, to me thats an odd paring.
Why do you keep Nick Swardson work? he isnt funny at all...he plays guys with no clue, guys who cant grow up, etc.
Sandler needs to actually focus on either himself or one of his old SNL friends...people want Billy Madison, Wedding Singer, Happy Gilmore and possibliy Anger Management type movies...its not so much they Sandler hasnt grown up...but the plots for his movies continue to stink and smell very bad.
I recommend that the board of Movie Jail...find Happy Madison Productions not only guilty, but hire a team of movie consulors , etc to help fix Madison Productions...so that when they are done with Jail...we can start seeing better movies!
Your Reply:



10:57PM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

Do I even need a reason?
Do I even need a reason?
Your Reply:



10:46PM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

I think most of us can agree that Happy Madison Productions is a rancid stain on the fabric of our collective existence.
I think most of us can agree that Happy Madison Productions is a rancid stain on the fabric of our collective existence.
Your Reply:



+3
9:55PM on 07/15/2013

THE EQUIVALENT OF CONFESSION.

Admitting that you're making a bad movie because you think that makes it better? It doesn't work like that. FUNNY PEOPLE is listed, which was directed by Judd Apatow, whose career is all about raunchy comedies. And guess what? They're good. So this isn't about hating comedies or being against escapism and having a good time. These comedies are judged by what they are... and are still considered bad.

I know "Movie Jail" isn't literal, but in this case, H.M. do commit crimes (which is why
Admitting that you're making a bad movie because you think that makes it better? It doesn't work like that. FUNNY PEOPLE is listed, which was directed by Judd Apatow, whose career is all about raunchy comedies. And guess what? They're good. So this isn't about hating comedies or being against escapism and having a good time. These comedies are judged by what they are... and are still considered bad.

I know "Movie Jail" isn't literal, but in this case, H.M. do commit crimes (which is why they're guilty in many senses). A lot of their movies are homophobic. Including CHUCK & LARRY, which pretends to be pro-gay. And some aprove of wrong things: JUST GO WITH IT (child abuse); THAT'S MY BOY (child sexual abuse and parental negligence); JACK & JILL (having to stand an awful person just for being a relative).
Your Reply:



9:30PM on 07/15/2013

Quite a rap sheet

Strange Wilderness alone warrants a guilty but giving Kevin James work? This is an offense worthy of a televised execution. Even the stuff on the defense is like a "least worst offenses" list.
Strange Wilderness alone warrants a guilty but giving Kevin James work? This is an offense worthy of a televised execution. Even the stuff on the defense is like a "least worst offenses" list.
Your Reply:



9:22PM on 07/15/2013

Not Guilty.......................... in Florida.

The last Happy Madison movie I found tolerable and was able to watch completely on one viewing was The Longest Yard. But I was in Iraq at the time and what else was I gonna do? I'm not sure if Sandler's goal is to literally make Funny People an autobiography of his career, but if that's the case, the joke is on all of those who actually pay money to see his movies. What's sad, is that he actually gets A-List talent, or incredibly funny performers, in his movies, and sadly, make them incredibly
The last Happy Madison movie I found tolerable and was able to watch completely on one viewing was The Longest Yard. But I was in Iraq at the time and what else was I gonna do? I'm not sure if Sandler's goal is to literally make Funny People an autobiography of his career, but if that's the case, the joke is on all of those who actually pay money to see his movies. What's sad, is that he actually gets A-List talent, or incredibly funny performers, in his movies, and sadly, make them incredibly unfunny. Happy Madison productions aren't as mind-numbingly awful as Friedberg & Seltzer movies, but that's not really saying much, is it?

Fry 'em.
Your Reply:



9:12PM on 07/15/2013

Guilty...

I don't believe in the death penalty but I believe in exile.
Better yet. Steal there capital and money. Give it to those who produce quality works.
I don't believe in the death penalty but I believe in exile.
Better yet. Steal there capital and money. Give it to those who produce quality works.
Your Reply:



8:24PM on 07/15/2013

Guilty as hell.

Toss em in the black hole of Calcutta. I don't want to ever see that production company ever again.
Toss em in the black hole of Calcutta. I don't want to ever see that production company ever again.
Your Reply:



+1
8:11PM on 07/15/2013
Guilty. Forever.
Guilty. Forever.
Your Reply:



+0
7:53PM on 07/15/2013

guilty with parole

Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigalo, Joe Dirt, Mr. Deeds, The Longest Yard, should not be used against. however happy madison should be in movie jail, for 5 years with parole after 2. lets not forget the movies happy madison comes from...
Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigalo, Joe Dirt, Mr. Deeds, The Longest Yard, should not be used against. however happy madison should be in movie jail, for 5 years with parole after 2. lets not forget the movies happy madison comes from...
Your Reply:



7:01PM on 07/15/2013

Guilty! Guilty! QUILTY!

They're responsible for Master of Disguise.... Nuff said.


They're responsible for Master of Disguise.... Nuff said.


Your Reply:



+0
5:26PM on 07/15/2013
I think Grandma's Boy is probably one of the most overrated, only-good-when-high pieces of crap on earth, period
Guilty
I think Grandma's Boy is probably one of the most overrated, only-good-when-high pieces of crap on earth, period
Guilty
Your Reply:



4:13PM on 07/15/2013
Just accidentally deleted long post I had wrote....

Not typing it all out again...

Not guilty.
Just accidentally deleted long post I had wrote....

Not typing it all out again...

Not guilty.
Your Reply:



4:10PM on 07/15/2013

Belong in AIDS HELL!

Belong in AIDS HELL!
Belong in AIDS HELL!
Your Reply:



4:40PM on 07/15/2013
hahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahaha
+10
3:36PM on 07/15/2013
"Into the pit with those blood thirsty sons of whores!"
"Into the pit with those blood thirsty sons of whores!"
Your Reply:



3:23PM on 07/15/2013

GUILTY!!

I want Superman to hurl them into the sun.
I want Superman to hurl them into the sun.
Your Reply:



1:58PM on 07/15/2013

GUILTY

Lock em' up and hide the key in a well written screenplay where you know they won't look
Lock em' up and hide the key in a well written screenplay where you know they won't look
Your Reply:



1:40PM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

I ask you this...you absolve Happy Madison for making simple, escapist movies for people to just enjoy and yet decry Transformers for the same thing. "Escapism" is just a word someone uses when they know something is crap, but have no real defense for it, considering they later complain about movies having no plot (which is impossible) or lame acting or being too cheesy and that there's no way it's #1 at the Box Office. Happy Madison is guilty, there is no defense. Throw enough crap at the wall
I ask you this...you absolve Happy Madison for making simple, escapist movies for people to just enjoy and yet decry Transformers for the same thing. "Escapism" is just a word someone uses when they know something is crap, but have no real defense for it, considering they later complain about movies having no plot (which is impossible) or lame acting or being too cheesy and that there's no way it's #1 at the Box Office. Happy Madison is guilty, there is no defense. Throw enough crap at the wall and some will stick, but you're still throwing crap at the wall.
Your Reply:



8:45PM on 07/16/2013
Well said!
Well said!
1:22PM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

Joe Dirt, and Grandma's boy aside, (two films that neither feature Adam Sandler), everyone hates this production company. With good reason. I'm looking at you Bucky Larson.
Joe Dirt, and Grandma's boy aside, (two films that neither feature Adam Sandler), everyone hates this production company. With good reason. I'm looking at you Bucky Larson.
Your Reply:



1:16PM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

After Click, I've dropped anything Adam Sandler-related like a bad habit, and haven't seen his movies since. It was a one joke premise that was funny, but died somewhere in the first 30 minutes and spent the rest of its running time thinking it was It's A Wonderful Life. I've withstood most his crap and admittedly, I liked a few (Happy Gilmore, Waterboy, Big Daddy), but Click was a torture I couldn't take anymore.
After Click, I've dropped anything Adam Sandler-related like a bad habit, and haven't seen his movies since. It was a one joke premise that was funny, but died somewhere in the first 30 minutes and spent the rest of its running time thinking it was It's A Wonderful Life. I've withstood most his crap and admittedly, I liked a few (Happy Gilmore, Waterboy, Big Daddy), but Click was a torture I couldn't take anymore.
Your Reply:



1:14PM on 07/15/2013

Not Guilty

I don't know. The list of movies from Happy Madison is filled with a good amount of crap, but I also think there are a lot of funny, enjoyable movies in the mix. I think the standard for movie goers has become way too high (maybe having to do with how much a ticket cost now) but there are funny movies from Happy Madison. I enjoyed movies like The Hot Chick, Chuck & Larry, House Bunny, Grown Ups (both), Benchwarmers and etc. for what they were.
I don't know. The list of movies from Happy Madison is filled with a good amount of crap, but I also think there are a lot of funny, enjoyable movies in the mix. I think the standard for movie goers has become way too high (maybe having to do with how much a ticket cost now) but there are funny movies from Happy Madison. I enjoyed movies like The Hot Chick, Chuck & Larry, House Bunny, Grown Ups (both), Benchwarmers and etc. for what they were.
Your Reply:



12:31PM on 07/15/2013

GUILTY!!!!

Like a Casey Anthony, OJ Simpson, George Zimmerman, One-Armed Man level of GUILTY!
Like a Casey Anthony, OJ Simpson, George Zimmerman, One-Armed Man level of GUILTY!
Your Reply:



+3
12:05PM on 07/15/2013

Could you hurry up with their execution, I ain't got all night!

Guilty as hell, and hopefully that's where Happy Madison Studios stays since it's already there.
Guilty as hell, and hopefully that's where Happy Madison Studios stays since it's already there.
Your Reply:



11:55AM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

I don't care what other people watch (reality television, ugh) and I don't give a shit how much money a movie makes....at all. I am not a producer and I don't get a cut when a movie I like makes a lot of money. These movies are shit. I have probably only seen 40% of them and of that only a couple of those are good/tolerable. There are stupid fun movies out there that are much better and not nearly as lazy.
I don't care what other people watch (reality television, ugh) and I don't give a shit how much money a movie makes....at all. I am not a producer and I don't get a cut when a movie I like makes a lot of money. These movies are shit. I have probably only seen 40% of them and of that only a couple of those are good/tolerable. There are stupid fun movies out there that are much better and not nearly as lazy.
Your Reply:



+3
11:53AM on 07/15/2013

Guilty!

Give 'em the chair.
Give 'em the chair.
Your Reply:



-1
11:52AM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

There are quite a few happy Madison films I've enjoyed, here comes the boom, the longest yard, little Nicky, thats my boy and of coarse all of the dramas that have came from them, these films are all guilty pleasure laughs and even though they may be hated by critics, I could still watch them over and over again, but then there's the other films that just awful, that I don't see how anyone can laugh at them. But my dad will sit there and talk about how shitty grown ups his but them he'll laugh
There are quite a few happy Madison films I've enjoyed, here comes the boom, the longest yard, little Nicky, thats my boy and of coarse all of the dramas that have came from them, these films are all guilty pleasure laughs and even though they may be hated by critics, I could still watch them over and over again, but then there's the other films that just awful, that I don't see how anyone can laugh at them. But my dad will sit there and talk about how shitty grown ups his but them he'll laugh all the way through it. You can't really blame them to much b/c when they turn out crap movies those movies will make shits load of money, and when they produce dramas that I actually really love, they will make no money which will force them to come out w/ another crap movie that they now sandler fans will pay to see. I understand that there is a fan base that lives that kind of humor and there's nothing wrong w! That. I'm just not going to support it. Ill just stuck w/ Ferrell/ McKay and apatow movies to get my laugh fix.
Your Reply:



11:51AM on 07/15/2013

OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!

Making comedies doesn't mean you have to go for the lowest common denominator. His movies are horrendous, filled with stereotypical sexist, racist and homophobic jokes.
Making comedies doesn't mean you have to go for the lowest common denominator. His movies are horrendous, filled with stereotypical sexist, racist and homophobic jokes.
Your Reply:



-7
11:36AM on 07/15/2013

Not Guilty

Hardly any of their films are groundbreaking but the people at Happy Madison will tell you they aren't meant to be. Film snobs hate them, but there is a niche audience for these films and it's quite large.
Hardly any of their films are groundbreaking but the people at Happy Madison will tell you they aren't meant to be. Film snobs hate them, but there is a niche audience for these films and it's quite large.
Your Reply:



12:20PM on 07/15/2013
Are you claiming to be a part of that niche, or are you defending them because they make money?
Are you claiming to be a part of that niche, or are you defending them because they make money?
1:18PM on 07/15/2013
My point exactly. The standards are set too high for these films.
My point exactly. The standards are set too high for these films.
1:42PM on 07/15/2013
So aiming low on purpose is a good thing now?
So aiming low on purpose is a good thing now?
11:35AM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

While a lot of their films are some of my favorite comedies of the past decade (Mr. Deeds, Anger Management, Click, Chuck and Larry). However, the overwhelming majority of the studio's work has been nothing but mindless dribble.

The studio is set up to not focus on making good movies, but the cast and crew making movies with their friends. Its fun to do what you love with some fun guys. But if all you care about is having a good time and not focusing on the project, then nobody else is gonna
While a lot of their films are some of my favorite comedies of the past decade (Mr. Deeds, Anger Management, Click, Chuck and Larry). However, the overwhelming majority of the studio's work has been nothing but mindless dribble.

The studio is set up to not focus on making good movies, but the cast and crew making movies with their friends. Its fun to do what you love with some fun guys. But if all you care about is having a good time and not focusing on the project, then nobody else is gonna care. Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Nick Swardson, and the rest of them look like their having a lot of fun on set and coming up with these jokes, but they are not focusing on the quality of the film.

Guilty
Your Reply:



-4
11:12AM on 07/15/2013

Somehow not guilty....

While I find one or two of the Prosecutions movies to be funny (Joe Dirt is a guilty pleasure), you can't fault Sandler for making movies that make money, no matter how stupid they are. If anything, the audience that goes to these movies and makes them profitable is guilty. Sandler and crew keep churning them out and laughing all the way to the bank. You and I would do the same if we were in that position.
While I find one or two of the Prosecutions movies to be funny (Joe Dirt is a guilty pleasure), you can't fault Sandler for making movies that make money, no matter how stupid they are. If anything, the audience that goes to these movies and makes them profitable is guilty. Sandler and crew keep churning them out and laughing all the way to the bank. You and I would do the same if we were in that position.
Your Reply:



11:03AM on 07/15/2013
Guil to the Fuckin T

Nuremberg comes to mind.
Guil to the Fuckin T

Nuremberg comes to mind.
Your Reply:



+2
10:58AM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

A few decent movies don't justify most of the shit they throw our way.
And I have to confess that I lived in Amsterdam and loved Deuce Bigelow European Gigolo, and I walked out of Funny People
A few decent movies don't justify most of the shit they throw our way.
And I have to confess that I lived in Amsterdam and loved Deuce Bigelow European Gigolo, and I walked out of Funny People
Your Reply:



10:32AM on 07/15/2013
"I had a dream last night. I was a snake slithering through the grass, until I came upon a dead elk, and I climbed into his soul, and it's there I stayed until morning, which meant I will underestimate someone very close to me..."
"Wow! Where do you get your weed?"
"From you, Dante..."
"Oh yeah! What's up, Mr. Cheezle!?"
"I had a dream last night. I was a snake slithering through the grass, until I came upon a dead elk, and I climbed into his soul, and it's there I stayed until morning, which meant I will underestimate someone very close to me..."
"Wow! Where do you get your weed?"
"From you, Dante..."
"Oh yeah! What's up, Mr. Cheezle!?"
Your Reply:



10:30AM on 07/15/2013

guilty

guilty for becoming so dumb
guilty for becoming so dumb
Your Reply:



10:49AM on 07/15/2013
Zero good movie in a decade!
Zero good movie in a decade!
10:20AM on 07/15/2013

Not Gulity

Overall most of this production companies movies and television shows are above average which is why I'd have to say not guilty.
Overall most of this production companies movies and television shows are above average which is why I'd have to say not guilty.
Your Reply:



10:50AM on 07/15/2013
Not a single good movie in a decade and not guilty ???? WTF ?
You mush be one of those dumbs who saw Grown Ups 2 this weekend then ?
Not a single good movie in a decade and not guilty ???? WTF ?
You mush be one of those dumbs who saw Grown Ups 2 this weekend then ?
12:17PM on 07/15/2013
barfly, back off. Don't get your panties in a bunch when someone has a different opinion.
barfly, back off. Don't get your panties in a bunch when someone has a different opinion.
6:46PM on 07/15/2013
Incorrect barfly I actually went to see Pacific Rim. Don't always assume because we all know what happens.......
Incorrect barfly I actually went to see Pacific Rim. Don't always assume because we all know what happens.......
10:06AM on 07/15/2013
Guilty. Hit that golf ball into oblivion with a nine iron. Check out Film Brain's excellent "Bad Movie Beatdown" episode on I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry to see how Sandler and Happy Madison bastardised what could have been an interesting script from two of the Oscar-winning writers of The Descendants into the painfully unfunny and stupidly offensive dreck we ended up with instead. [link] ">
Guilty. Hit that golf ball into oblivion with a nine iron. Check out Film Brain's excellent "Bad Movie Beatdown" episode on I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry to see how Sandler and Happy Madison bastardised what could have been an interesting script from two of the Oscar-winning writers of The Descendants into the painfully unfunny and stupidly offensive dreck we ended up with instead. [link]
Your Reply:



9:58AM on 07/15/2013

Joe Dirt???

I don't know man... Joe Dirt is hilarious. And I personally have a soft spot for the two Deuce Bigelow movies, I mean c'mon, man-whores and the classic line "That's a huge Bitch!" But I also regularly enjoy some of the crap the Wayans Bros put out...so what do I know? But yeah, most of the Happy Madison movies suck
I don't know man... Joe Dirt is hilarious. And I personally have a soft spot for the two Deuce Bigelow movies, I mean c'mon, man-whores and the classic line "That's a huge Bitch!" But I also regularly enjoy some of the crap the Wayans Bros put out...so what do I know? But yeah, most of the Happy Madison movies suck
Your Reply:



+4
9:57AM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

I was wondering how the defense was going to... well, actually defend Happy Madison and I think it was well done! Unfortunately I really do blame the people that like these stupid movies as they are just as responsible as Sandler for them being made! [link]
I was wondering how the defense was going to... well, actually defend Happy Madison and I think it was well done! Unfortunately I really do blame the people that like these stupid movies as they are just as responsible as Sandler for them being made! [link]
Your Reply:



9:53AM on 07/15/2013
Guilty!!! - Although I agree with the Defense's point, they aren't making ground breaking cinema. They're just trying to entertain the average joe that wants to unwind. But there is still more intelligent ways of doing that! Also, I'm pretty sure the defense used two non Happy Madison movies as their defense - Reign Over Me and Funny People, I could be wrong though.
Guilty!!! - Although I agree with the Defense's point, they aren't making ground breaking cinema. They're just trying to entertain the average joe that wants to unwind. But there is still more intelligent ways of doing that! Also, I'm pretty sure the defense used two non Happy Madison movies as their defense - Reign Over Me and Funny People, I could be wrong though.
Your Reply:



9:51AM on 07/15/2013
If I had to choose only 1 of all the nominees that have graced this column, this would be the one.
GUILTY!!!!
If I had to choose only 1 of all the nominees that have graced this column, this would be the one.
GUILTY!!!!
Your Reply:



9:46AM on 07/15/2013

WTF?!

Let me get this right, you did Johnny Depp before the crapfest that is Happy Madison?!
Who are you gonna to do next week, Christian Bale?!
Let me get this right, you did Johnny Depp before the crapfest that is Happy Madison?!
Who are you gonna to do next week, Christian Bale?!
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+2
9:44AM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

Lock them up
Swallow the key and burry the witnesses in the desert
Make them dig there graves too
Lock them up
Swallow the key and burry the witnesses in the desert
Make them dig there graves too
Your Reply:



9:39AM on 07/15/2013
Gimme a G! Gimme a U! Gimme an I! Gimme a L! Gimme a T! Gimme a Y! GUILTY!
Gimme a G! Gimme a U! Gimme an I! Gimme a L! Gimme a T! Gimme a Y! GUILTY!
Your Reply:



+2
9:34AM on 07/15/2013

Guilty. Case closed.

Guilty as a sin that sinned. Or something worse than that. I mean, yeah, you've got little anomalies like the mentioned Anger Management, but for the most part these things are cheaply made wardens of sheer idiocy that make me feel ashamed at their very existence. Enough is enough indeed. Rob Schneider will have to find work elsewhere.
Guilty as a sin that sinned. Or something worse than that. I mean, yeah, you've got little anomalies like the mentioned Anger Management, but for the most part these things are cheaply made wardens of sheer idiocy that make me feel ashamed at their very existence. Enough is enough indeed. Rob Schneider will have to find work elsewhere.
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9:19AM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

With a few exceptions ('Here Comes The Boom', 'Click', & 'Grandma's Boy'. Probably forgetting one or two titles) there's nothing redeeming by what they crank out. You can make a dumb comedy, but make it with skill and that's okay. Here though, with Dennis Dugan (their go to director) and the like, their movies are blandly directed and have no heart. They are a commercial product. I realize 99% of all movies are intended to make money, but few feel as soulless, and dumb.
With a few exceptions ('Here Comes The Boom', 'Click', & 'Grandma's Boy'. Probably forgetting one or two titles) there's nothing redeeming by what they crank out. You can make a dumb comedy, but make it with skill and that's okay. Here though, with Dennis Dugan (their go to director) and the like, their movies are blandly directed and have no heart. They are a commercial product. I realize 99% of all movies are intended to make money, but few feel as soulless, and dumb.
Your Reply:



9:19AM on 07/15/2013
Guilty. Dear Mr. Sandler, we (at least me) want Happy Gilmore 2, not Grown Ups 2.
Guilty. Dear Mr. Sandler, we (at least me) want Happy Gilmore 2, not Grown Ups 2.
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+4
9:12AM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

So very guilty.
So very guilty.
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8:57AM on 07/15/2013

Come on

This is a no brainer.... Guilty.

Tidbit: Johnny Depp after he agrees to do AIW 2
This is a no brainer.... Guilty.

Tidbit: Johnny Depp after he agrees to do AIW 2
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8:55AM on 07/15/2013

Excellent choice...guilty.

Death....by exile.
Death....by exile.
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8:47AM on 07/15/2013

Kill them all.

Fuck Happy Madison Production and Adam Sandler.
Fuck Happy Madison Production and Adam Sandler.
Your Reply:



8:39AM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

Sentence them to death
Sentence them to death
Your Reply:



+6
8:37AM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

Not only for their massive output of crap but also for lowering the bar on what constitutes comedy in Hollywood movies. Studio execs see the success of HM and try to duplicate it with their own brand of boneheaded, lowest common denominator excrement.
Not only for their massive output of crap but also for lowering the bar on what constitutes comedy in Hollywood movies. Studio execs see the success of HM and try to duplicate it with their own brand of boneheaded, lowest common denominator excrement.
Your Reply:



+7
8:28AM on 07/15/2013

GULITY

I dont feel the need to elaborate
I dont feel the need to elaborate
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7:59AM on 07/15/2013
Guilty. Not only are these assholes awful but I blame them for dragging down comedians that should/could do better. Mainly Andy Samberg and Nick Swardson.
Guilty. Not only are these assholes awful but I blame them for dragging down comedians that should/could do better. Mainly Andy Samberg and Nick Swardson.
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7:57AM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

Guilty. Without question.
Guilty. Without question.
Your Reply:



7:55AM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

Burn the companies building down and spread the ashes in space
Burn the companies building down and spread the ashes in space
Your Reply:



7:48AM on 07/15/2013

It's not double jeopardy

because conspiracy is a separate charge. By that logic you can also charge Kevin James, Chris Rock and David Spade for individual crimes.
because conspiracy is a separate charge. By that logic you can also charge Kevin James, Chris Rock and David Spade for individual crimes.
Your Reply:



7:42AM on 07/15/2013
Throw away the key, that's all that needs said.
Throw away the key, that's all that needs said.
Your Reply:



+9
7:38AM on 07/15/2013

Guilty

I get movies for entertainment...I'm actually in full support of that cause, I believe films should be first and foremost entertaining. But that's not what Sandler and his cohorts do. They sell the lowest common denominator of humor with lazy stories and performances. These guys just want to make money and not have to work so they scrape by with the bare minimum and catch two audiences in their traps. The first of these is just the mind-numbingly dumb masses. The second are the people who have
I get movies for entertainment...I'm actually in full support of that cause, I believe films should be first and foremost entertaining. But that's not what Sandler and his cohorts do. They sell the lowest common denominator of humor with lazy stories and performances. These guys just want to make money and not have to work so they scrape by with the bare minimum and catch two audiences in their traps. The first of these is just the mind-numbingly dumb masses. The second are the people who have fond memories of the few good times they had with Sandler and want to apologize for him and/or hope he can actually produce something that's good. Either way, through the effing book at 'em. Garbage is garbage no matter how you cut it.
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7:28AM on 07/15/2013

Guilty - Put 'em in the chair and throw the switch.

And I even like a couple of films that the prosecution doesn't.

GUILTY!
And I even like a couple of films that the prosecution doesn't.

GUILTY!
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