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Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Hilary Swank!

Jan. 28, 2013by:

Welcome to Movie Jail, a facility like any other, only its inmates are Hollywood writers, directors, actors and producers. This column will serve as a Movie Jail trial. We will put one defendant on trial; lay out arguments for the Prosecution and Defense. And we leave it up to YOU, the reader, to decide whether the defendant is guilty of his or her crime. What crime? The crime of consistently being a stinking shithouse.

The Defendant


Hilary Swank

The Case

The Prosecution: P.S. I Love You, New Year's Eve, Amelia, The Next Karate Kid, The Reaping, The Core, The Gift*

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, how about we make this three weeks in a row for Academy Award winning actresses on trial? How about that? The JoBlo Movie Podast received a voicemail last week about how incredibly overrated Ms. Hilary Swank is. We did some digging into her case, and while we don't find her particularly overrated, we do see a lack of quality movies over the years for an Oscar winning actress. A two time Oscar winning actress at that. How can someone who possesses such obvious talent make such poor choices with their career? Since her 2004 Oscar win for Million Dollar Baby, Ms. Swank has put out 9 movies with only 3 of those movies being certified fresh. We may be Movie Jail attorneys, but we're bad at math, so we can only imagine that's a bad percentage for Ms. Swank. 2007 seems to be her busiest year to date, releasing three movies, two of which were pretty damn awful: P.S. I Love You and The Reaping (more like the raping of my goddamn eyeballs). She's also co-starred with two Movie Jail convicts: Gerard Butler and Halle Berry, so let's face it, she's been keeping pretty shitty company.

The Defense: Boys Don't Cry, Million Dollar Baby, Insomnia, Conviction, Freedom Writers, The Black Dahlia*

Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, what do the prosecutors have against Academy Award winners in this court of law? Or maybe they just hate women? Is the prosecution forgetting that The Gift was indeed a gift, giving the world its first glimpse at Katie Holmes milk cannons? What does that have to do with the defendant? Everything and nothing. Isn't a two-time Academy Award winning actress allowed to take a break from the grind and have fun with the likes of New Year's Eve and The Resident? We believe Ms. Swank has all the talent in the world to be one our stronger actresses working to date. When you look at movies like Boys Don't Cry and Million Dollar Baby, you see the kind of versatility and commitment to excellence Ms. Swank brings to the screen, and we have confidence that it's only a matter of time when she'll find herself back in the big leagues. We're asking the court to dismiss this case. If you can find find Kristen Stewart and Sandra Bullock not guilty (oops, spoiler, see below), then we can find Ms. Swank not guilty.


IN CLOSING...

So, whats to be done with Hilary Swank? Is she indeed "overrated"? Does she need to be more picky with what roles she chooses? Is she pissing her Academy Award cred down the drain with her lack of consistency? And the most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into consideration, we ask you The Jury, is Hilary Swank GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Lets hear YOUR arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.

*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so relax.

WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?


LAST WEEK'S VERDICT

It is the jury's decision that after reviewing last week's evidence, the court finds Sandra Bullock NOT GUILTY of all charges. In a surprising verdict (for the wardens of Movie Jail), the jury decided that America's Sweetheart should remain free and clear, confident that she's not now, or will ever be, half as bad as all the other rom com actresses.

PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY NOT GUILTY
Adam Sandler
Eddie Murphy
Vince Vaughn
Tim Burton
The Farrelly Brothers
Michael Bay
Jessica Alba
Ice Cube
Gerard Butler
Halle Berry
Marlon Wayans
Julia Roberts
Robert De Niro
Val Kilmer
Nic Cage
John Travolta
Oliver Stone
Ben Stiller
Jim Carrey
Wes Craven
Matthew McConaughey
Robert Rodriguez
Kristen Stewart
Roland Emmerich
Kevin Costner
Sandra Bullock
Extra Tidbit: Who Should Take the Stand Next? Strike Back Below!
Source: JoBlo.com

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12:28AM on 01/29/2013

Guilty

i've never seen "Boys Dont Cry" and i kinda liked "Freedom Writers" but everything else she has dont has ranged from bland to bad for me. Even Million Dollar Baby, she was just bland and predictable in it. She't not pretty, her voice is annoying, her movies are not enjoyable, and i never believe a word she says when she acts. She is guilty

Next defendant: Ivan Reitman
i've never seen "Boys Dont Cry" and i kinda liked "Freedom Writers" but everything else she has dont has ranged from bland to bad for me. Even Million Dollar Baby, she was just bland and predictable in it. She't not pretty, her voice is annoying, her movies are not enjoyable, and i never believe a word she says when she acts. She is guilty

Next defendant: Ivan Reitman
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+4
11:42PM on 01/28/2013

Not Guilty

If Sandra Bullock gets a pass, with her lame record. Hilary gets a pass for having two amazingly great performances (Boys Don't Cry, Million Dollar Baby), and pulling off some good performances in other films.
If Sandra Bullock gets a pass, with her lame record. Hilary gets a pass for having two amazingly great performances (Boys Don't Cry, Million Dollar Baby), and pulling off some good performances in other films.
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11:10PM on 01/28/2013
GUILTY

Never liked her in anything.
GUILTY

Never liked her in anything.
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10:51PM on 01/28/2013

Not guilty...

because shes a great actress and I like her.
because shes a great actress and I like her.
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8:45PM on 01/28/2013

NOT GUILTY

Not bad enough for movie jail but she is a very forgettable actress. Wouldn't cry if she never made a movie again.
Next week: Russell Crowe, Charlie Sheen, or Shia LaBeouf
As always I'm picking actors that have a filmography that would lead to a good debate NOT actors that I particularly want to see go to move jail, otherwise I'd just pick Adam Sandler's SNL alum (Rob Schneider, David Spade, etc)
Not bad enough for movie jail but she is a very forgettable actress. Wouldn't cry if she never made a movie again.
Next week: Russell Crowe, Charlie Sheen, or Shia LaBeouf
As always I'm picking actors that have a filmography that would lead to a good debate NOT actors that I particularly want to see go to move jail, otherwise I'd just pick Adam Sandler's SNL alum (Rob Schneider, David Spade, etc)
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7:29PM on 01/28/2013
Guilty.
Guilty.
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7:28PM on 01/28/2013
I cant decide...I would put on parole...She has some good movies to her credit but her Bad (less liked) roles out do her good roles. I havent been a fan of hers, but at the same time I dont dislike her as an actress either.
I cant decide...I would put on parole...She has some good movies to her credit but her Bad (less liked) roles out do her good roles. I havent been a fan of hers, but at the same time I dont dislike her as an actress either.
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6:43PM on 01/28/2013
Not Guilty. Amelia, though a box office bomb, was actually a quite good movie and Ms. Swank was very good in it.
Not Guilty. Amelia, though a box office bomb, was actually a quite good movie and Ms. Swank was very good in it.
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5:38PM on 01/28/2013
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
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4:59PM on 01/28/2013

NOT GUILTY

are you kidding me?
Now we're just randomly putting to trial great actors cause they've made a couple bad movies that were likely just for fun and knowingly not oscar worthy?
Next up: Daniel Day Lewis...he made a few movies in the 80's where he didn't get nominated for an acting award! *GASP*
are you kidding me?
Now we're just randomly putting to trial great actors cause they've made a couple bad movies that were likely just for fun and knowingly not oscar worthy?
Next up: Daniel Day Lewis...he made a few movies in the 80's where he didn't get nominated for an acting award! *GASP*
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3:57PM on 01/28/2013
She's Not Guilty for the opposite reason of why Julia Roberts is.
She's Not Guilty for the opposite reason of why Julia Roberts is.
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3:49PM on 01/28/2013

Not Guilty

Million Dollar Baby in my top 10.
Million Dollar Baby in my top 10.
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2:50PM on 01/28/2013

Meh not guilty, I guess

Hillary Swank is a bit over-rated in my book. But she hasn't truly earned movie jail. She has some crappy movies but she in general is not a terrible actress and the movies aren't bad because of her. Boyd Don't Cry and Million Dollar Baby put her in the "benefit of the doubt" category. When you win a ton of awards for your acting you earn a bit of leeway. That's like trying to put Meryl Streep in movie jail. Can't happen. While I am not crazy about Swank, it wouldn't feel right putting
Hillary Swank is a bit over-rated in my book. But she hasn't truly earned movie jail. She has some crappy movies but she in general is not a terrible actress and the movies aren't bad because of her. Boyd Don't Cry and Million Dollar Baby put her in the "benefit of the doubt" category. When you win a ton of awards for your acting you earn a bit of leeway. That's like trying to put Meryl Streep in movie jail. Can't happen. While I am not crazy about Swank, it wouldn't feel right putting her in movie jail. She just needs some good roles.
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+0
2:31PM on 01/28/2013

GUILTY

Apart from her two Oscar-winning roles, I never seen a movie where she had a convincing character.
Apart from her two Oscar-winning roles, I never seen a movie where she had a convincing character.
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2:23PM on 01/28/2013

Not Guilty

I actually liked P.S I love you
I actually liked P.S I love you
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-2
2:01PM on 01/28/2013

Guilty

Can't believe I haven't thought to recommend her for trial before. Hm... Is Ashley Judd relevant enough to take the stand? Better yet, perfectly suited for this might be Uma Thurman. Talk about a great actress with potential who has been squandering ever since Kill Bill. Although KB probably earns her a lifetime pass.
Can't believe I haven't thought to recommend her for trial before. Hm... Is Ashley Judd relevant enough to take the stand? Better yet, perfectly suited for this might be Uma Thurman. Talk about a great actress with potential who has been squandering ever since Kill Bill. Although KB probably earns her a lifetime pass.
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2:01PM on 01/28/2013
Not guilty.
Not guilty.
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1:48PM on 01/28/2013

Guilty of being incredibly hot and talented...absolutely.

Not guilty of bad acting at all, she's amazing even if the film isn't.
Not guilty of bad acting at all, she's amazing even if the film isn't.
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1:24PM on 01/28/2013

Not guilty

Statburst, if Nic Cage can go free, then anybody should.
Statburst, if Nic Cage can go free, then anybody should.
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+4
1:03PM on 01/28/2013

Not Guilty

this article should be more about hacks who care more about money that performances, not real actors who do the opposite, like Hillary Swank. NOT GUILTY
this article should be more about hacks who care more about money that performances, not real actors who do the opposite, like Hillary Swank. NOT GUILTY
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12:57PM on 01/28/2013

Not Guilty

She more than earned her Academy Awards. She's not always a good fit for the material (or more likely the other way around), but when she finds a role that plays to her strengths, she knocks it out of the park.
She more than earned her Academy Awards. She's not always a good fit for the material (or more likely the other way around), but when she finds a role that plays to her strengths, she knocks it out of the park.
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12:40PM on 01/28/2013

Hung...

...jury.
...jury.
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12:38PM on 01/28/2013

In my opinion....

Double Post
Double Post
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12:37PM on 01/28/2013

In my opinion....

You really can't hold "The Next Karate Kid" against her. She was just getting her start at that point. A lot of actors have to take less than stellar roles to get started. Anyway, I say "Not Guilty". She has way too many great films that outweigh the bad. And even the rom-coms she does good work in too.
You really can't hold "The Next Karate Kid" against her. She was just getting her start at that point. A lot of actors have to take less than stellar roles to get started. Anyway, I say "Not Guilty". She has way too many great films that outweigh the bad. And even the rom-coms she does good work in too.
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12:29PM on 01/28/2013
The Gift? The Gift is a good film.
The Gift? The Gift is a good film.
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2:14PM on 01/28/2013
It's not
It's not
12:20PM on 01/28/2013

Come on....

Lets get some interesting choices like : The Rock, Robert Pattinson, Katherine Heigl, Orlando Bloom, Captain Jack Sparrow....
Lets get some interesting choices like : The Rock, Robert Pattinson, Katherine Heigl, Orlando Bloom, Captain Jack Sparrow....
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2:17PM on 01/28/2013
How would Katherine Heigl be an interesting choice? Everyone's going to vote guilty. Same with M. Night Shymalalalala. There's no point in putting those two on trial, even though people will bring them up week after week. After Cosmopolis, I'd give you Robert Pattinson. I don't know what The Rock has done to be brought up for trial. I think Orlando Bloom has already excommunicated himself. And Capt'n Jack Sparrow .....perhaps ....perhaps.
How would Katherine Heigl be an interesting choice? Everyone's going to vote guilty. Same with M. Night Shymalalalala. There's no point in putting those two on trial, even though people will bring them up week after week. After Cosmopolis, I'd give you Robert Pattinson. I don't know what The Rock has done to be brought up for trial. I think Orlando Bloom has already excommunicated himself. And Capt'n Jack Sparrow .....perhaps ....perhaps.
11:58AM on 01/28/2013

Not Guilty

Hilary's an excellent actress who deserves her awards. If Sandra Bullock can go free, so can she.
Hilary's an excellent actress who deserves her awards. If Sandra Bullock can go free, so can she.
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12:38PM on 01/28/2013
You, sir, are correct! Agreed 100%
You, sir, are correct! Agreed 100%
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