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Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Katherine Heigl!

Feb. 11, 2013by: Johnny Moreno

Welcome to Movie Jail, a facility like any other, only its inmates are Hollywood writers, directors, actors and producers. This column will serve as a Movie Jail trial. We will put one defendant on trial; lay out arguments for the Prosecution and Defense. And we leave it up to YOU, the reader, to decide whether the defendant is guilty of his or her crime. What crime? The crime of consistently being a stinking shithouse.

The Defendant


Katherine Heigl

The Case

Note: We are going to try something a little different this week. Since the case is already so strong against this defendant around the internet and the JoBlo.com world, this week, only the Defense will attempt to sway the jury into acquitting the defendant.

The Defense:


Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, the defense understands that we're facing a tough task representing Ms. Heigl. But how fair a court would Movie Jail be without due process? Does she have only 3 fresh ratings in her whole career? Sure. But is it the fault of Ms. Heigl or are these just bad movies?

Of course, we have to point to her role in Knocked Up (one of her only fresh rating films) and we can see that the woman does possess some charisma even while playing an otherwise annoying character. We've heard arguments about how awful all other rom-com flicks are, but if she doesn't take the proverbial ball and run with it, someone else would. She's filling a role and from what we can tell, those movies have done pretty well in worldwide box office receipts, with the exception of One for the Money. Every movie since Knocked Up has consistently made it's production budget back and then some. Again we ask, where's the crime in this? (We didn't really ask the first time but whatever).


IN CLOSING...

So, whats to be done with Ms. Katherine Heigl? Are we willing to convict someone that rom-com fans love and pay money to see? Are her rom-coms really that bad? And the most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into consideration, we ask you The Jury, is Katherine Heigl GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Lets hear YOUR arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.

*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so relax.

WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?


LAST WEEK'S VERDICT

It is the jury's decision that after reviewing last week's evidence, the court finds M. Night Shyamalan GUILTY of all charges. It's been a long time coming, and though the verdict came as no surprise, the few "not guilty" votes did. Some thought he still had some quality stories in the vault, while others thought we shouldn't convict because of a few recent blunders. But the majority agreed to lock his ass up in the deepest darkest cell and throw away the key. Done and done!

PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY NOT GUILTY
Adam Sandler
Eddie Murphy
Vince Vaughn
Tim Burton
The Farrelly Brothers
Michael Bay
Jessica Alba
Ice Cube
Gerard Butler
Halle Berry
Marlon Wayans
Julia Roberts
M. Night Shyamalan
Robert De Niro
Val Kilmer
Nic Cage
John Travolta
Oliver Stone
Ben Stiller
Jim Carrey
Wes Craven
Matthew McConaughey
Robert Rodriguez
Kristen Stewart
Roland Emmerich
Kevin Costner
Sandra Bullock
Hilary Swank
Extra Tidbit: Who Should Take the Stand Next? Strike Back Below!
Source: JoBlo.com

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1:06PM on 02/11/2013
Guil to the fuckin T. One of the most gratingly annoying people in Hollywood, onscreen or off.

And someone please scrub 'One For the Money' from Netflix Instant? They're pushing that shit like its the mulled wine from History of the World Part One.
Guil to the fuckin T. One of the most gratingly annoying people in Hollywood, onscreen or off.

And someone please scrub 'One For the Money' from Netflix Instant? They're pushing that shit like its the mulled wine from History of the World Part One.
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1:10PM on 02/11/2013

Guilty

Hang by the neck in town central
Hang by the neck in town central
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1:13PM on 02/11/2013

Guilty.

She's beautiful, talented, and I think she deserves a break at some point...but GUILTY.
She's beautiful, talented, and I think she deserves a break at some point...but GUILTY.
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1:20PM on 02/11/2013

Guilty

Guilty
Guilty
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+6
1:21PM on 02/11/2013
I say guilty because for the fact that all of her movies are structured exactly the same which is "I'm just a young corporate go-getter type with a cup of coffee stapled to one hand and my blackberry to the other and have no time for love." And the cocky doucher guy who works at her job who is unshaven and dirty shows her how to love and to be crazy. That is her formula for all her movies and she doesn't change it.
I say guilty because for the fact that all of her movies are structured exactly the same which is "I'm just a young corporate go-getter type with a cup of coffee stapled to one hand and my blackberry to the other and have no time for love." And the cocky doucher guy who works at her job who is unshaven and dirty shows her how to love and to be crazy. That is her formula for all her movies and she doesn't change it.
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1:21PM on 02/11/2013
Guilty..it is her own fault..she bad mouthed the movie that got her famous
Guilty..it is her own fault..she bad mouthed the movie that got her famous
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1:29PM on 02/11/2013

Guitly. No Question

One good role doesn't make up for countless awful ones. Plus she's bit of a c*nt, she badmouthed Knocked Up after it jumpstarted her career. She's not getting out of this one.
One good role doesn't make up for countless awful ones. Plus she's bit of a c*nt, she badmouthed Knocked Up after it jumpstarted her career. She's not getting out of this one.
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1:29PM on 02/11/2013

Guilty

She should stick to television
She should stick to television
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1:34PM on 02/11/2013
To the hangman with ya!
To the hangman with ya!
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+4
1:35PM on 02/11/2013

This is easy

Guilty. She should be sentenced to constant sex with Brett Ratner.
Guilty. She should be sentenced to constant sex with Brett Ratner.
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1:49PM on 02/11/2013

I think...

She should receive the death penalty.
She should receive the death penalty.
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2:08PM on 02/11/2013
I like Under Siege 2: Dark Territory...kind of.

Guilty as charged though.
I like Under Siege 2: Dark Territory...kind of.

Guilty as charged though.
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2:56PM on 02/11/2013

guilty

Johnny, not even you were able to put up decent defense for her. I think even the defense wanted her guilty this week. Thanks for trying though man. haha
Johnny, not even you were able to put up decent defense for her. I think even the defense wanted her guilty this week. Thanks for trying though man. haha
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2:57PM on 02/11/2013
Let her go and give Dexter his lovely chance at her.
Let her go and give Dexter his lovely chance at her.
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+8
2:58PM on 02/11/2013

Open and shut.

I can't understand how she continues to get work? Her movies flop, she is by every account an awful person to work with and she openly trashes co-workers. What is the appeal? Why hire her? For someone with such a high opinion of herself she is an utterly unremarkable actress that pumps out nothing but cookie cutter rom-coms.
I can't understand how she continues to get work? Her movies flop, she is by every account an awful person to work with and she openly trashes co-workers. What is the appeal? Why hire her? For someone with such a high opinion of herself she is an utterly unremarkable actress that pumps out nothing but cookie cutter rom-coms.
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+4
2:59PM on 02/11/2013

Guilty

Caught with the loot in her swag bag
Caught with the loot in her swag bag
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3:10PM on 02/11/2013
Guilty.

Her movies sucks

Her tv show sucks

She sucks.
Guilty.

Her movies sucks

Her tv show sucks

She sucks.
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3:10PM on 02/11/2013

cross examination

your honor, allowing the defense to prattle on is, in this case, fitting. but in the interest of justice, a few remarks in rebuttal to the already anorexic argument of the defense must be heard. may i cross? thank you, your honor. now, isnt it true that your entire defense above is based on numerical "success" and not actual quality? and isnt it true the jury in all other cases has been asked to base their decision on the merits of the body of the actor's work, not the box office? here i cite
your honor, allowing the defense to prattle on is, in this case, fitting. but in the interest of justice, a few remarks in rebuttal to the already anorexic argument of the defense must be heard. may i cross? thank you, your honor. now, isnt it true that your entire defense above is based on numerical "success" and not actual quality? and isnt it true the jury in all other cases has been asked to base their decision on the merits of the body of the actor's work, not the box office? here i cite the People vs Michael Bay. why then Ms Heigl, if that is your real name, do you feel you are exempt from the high standard set by this honorable court and its esteemed jury? so, your money entitles you to stand above the law and reach of this court? in light of the facts present here on cross, i move this court to have the defense's case in chief stricken from the record and Ms Heigl remanded to a maximum security movie prison (not jail...prison!) immediately!
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+3
3:11PM on 02/11/2013
Was Katherine Heigel ever big? I've seen her in one movie I enjoyed, and she wasn't the reason I enjoyed it (knocked up). I tend to think that this column is dedicated to big stars who have failed, so I am kind of confused by this weeks choice. I guess, since she's this weeks defendant, guilty, but that seems a little obvious. What movie fan, on this site no less, is going to give her a not guilty. Seems too easy.
Was Katherine Heigel ever big? I've seen her in one movie I enjoyed, and she wasn't the reason I enjoyed it (knocked up). I tend to think that this column is dedicated to big stars who have failed, so I am kind of confused by this weeks choice. I guess, since she's this weeks defendant, guilty, but that seems a little obvious. What movie fan, on this site no less, is going to give her a not guilty. Seems too easy.
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3:17PM on 02/11/2013

Guilty

As stated before, she bashed "Knocked Up" and never looked back. She isn't trying to make movies. She's picking movies that build HER image as this rom-com queen. Oh, she's a fine actress, not outstanding or particularly terrible, but she's got this annoying ego thing going on that right now is preventing her from even TRYING to make a more than passable movie. I can forsee a time down the road where maybe (I mean MAYBE) she decides to go the indie awards route and shock everyone. But even then
As stated before, she bashed "Knocked Up" and never looked back. She isn't trying to make movies. She's picking movies that build HER image as this rom-com queen. Oh, she's a fine actress, not outstanding or particularly terrible, but she's got this annoying ego thing going on that right now is preventing her from even TRYING to make a more than passable movie. I can forsee a time down the road where maybe (I mean MAYBE) she decides to go the indie awards route and shock everyone. But even then I doubt it will be too far from the formulaic. That's what she is, she's pure formula. And utterly boring because of it.
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3:55PM on 02/11/2013

Guilty as HELL!

She had one decent movie, that she later bashed, and the rest of her films have been wretched attempts at romantic comedy. There's nothing intrinsically bad about romantic comedies (WHEN HARRY MET SALLY) but Ms. Heigl's choice of scripts has been nothing less than heinous. Between her diva behaviour and lousy movie choices, I say Guilty as Charged.

NEXT: Seth Rogen or Nicole Kidman.
She had one decent movie, that she later bashed, and the rest of her films have been wretched attempts at romantic comedy. There's nothing intrinsically bad about romantic comedies (WHEN HARRY MET SALLY) but Ms. Heigl's choice of scripts has been nothing less than heinous. Between her diva behaviour and lousy movie choices, I say Guilty as Charged.

NEXT: Seth Rogen or Nicole Kidman.
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4:02PM on 02/11/2013

Guilty

its like you guys noticed the Not Guilty list was outweighing the guilty to last week and this week are used to help even it out. Anyway, guilty.

Ivan Reitman could be put on trial
its like you guys noticed the Not Guilty list was outweighing the guilty to last week and this week are used to help even it out. Anyway, guilty.

Ivan Reitman could be put on trial
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4:05PM on 02/11/2013

Tidbit...

Jennifer Lopez...she must go!
Jennifer Lopez...she must go!
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4:07PM on 02/11/2013
Guilty! I do think she's good at what she does, but she has enough "clout" to pick better projects, yet continues to make s**t
Guilty! I do think she's good at what she does, but she has enough "clout" to pick better projects, yet continues to make s**t
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4:10PM on 02/11/2013

Guilty

I can not really think of someone who is more deserving. She has done absolute shit since Knocked Up, and the fact that she bad mouthed the Apatow gang really pisses me off because that was her biggest success. I liked Knocked Up and she was not terrible in it, I wish it had been somebody else though in her role.
I can not really think of someone who is more deserving. She has done absolute shit since Knocked Up, and the fact that she bad mouthed the Apatow gang really pisses me off because that was her biggest success. I liked Knocked Up and she was not terrible in it, I wish it had been somebody else though in her role.
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4:20PM on 02/11/2013

Guilty

After bashing Knocked Up, she went downhill. Never bite the hand that feeds you!
After bashing Knocked Up, she went downhill. Never bite the hand that feeds you!
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4:27PM on 02/11/2013
She's totally guilty. The only good movie she did was Knocked Up and then she had the nerve to insult Judd Apatow. She was nominated for an Emmy and then insulted the writing staff on Grey's Anatomy while she continues to be in horrendous rom coms like Killers. The Defense may have one me over a little bit if they mentioned her role in Roswell but they didn't so I say guilty!
She's totally guilty. The only good movie she did was Knocked Up and then she had the nerve to insult Judd Apatow. She was nominated for an Emmy and then insulted the writing staff on Grey's Anatomy while she continues to be in horrendous rom coms like Killers. The Defense may have one me over a little bit if they mentioned her role in Roswell but they didn't so I say guilty!
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7:49PM on 02/11/2013
That would have been nice, but even then, I seem to remember her mainly being that "other" alien, besides the romantic lead and the bad boy. Her human counterparts were much more interesting.
That would have been nice, but even then, I seem to remember her mainly being that "other" alien, besides the romantic lead and the bad boy. Her human counterparts were much more interesting.
5:40PM on 02/11/2013

i lost my breathe for a second

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA oh wow wait HA HA HA HA HA who the fuck would ever say she's not guilty? She's basically trashed talked everything she's ever done and comes off as one of the most FAKE people of all time (not just in Hollywood). So yea...GUILTY
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA oh wow wait HA HA HA HA HA who the fuck would ever say she's not guilty? She's basically trashed talked everything she's ever done and comes off as one of the most FAKE people of all time (not just in Hollywood). So yea...GUILTY
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6:28PM on 02/11/2013
Yep. Definitely Guilty. Even her early works like Under Siege 2 is better than most of her films as of late. Guilty.
Yep. Definitely Guilty. Even her early works like Under Siege 2 is better than most of her films as of late. Guilty.
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6:41PM on 02/11/2013
Not guilty.

Ha ha . . . just kidding - GUILTY AS HELL!
Not guilty.

Ha ha . . . just kidding - GUILTY AS HELL!
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6:42PM on 02/11/2013
I honestly forgot this bitch existed until this article. So lock her up, she's already irrelevant anyway.
I honestly forgot this bitch existed until this article. So lock her up, she's already irrelevant anyway.
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+5
6:57PM on 02/11/2013

Guilty

Because reasons.
Because reasons.
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7:21PM on 02/11/2013
GUILTY. She's never been the reason any (actually the only) decent film she's ever been in. And she had a piss poor attitude about it? GUILTY. Straight to the gallows.....
GUILTY. She's never been the reason any (actually the only) decent film she's ever been in. And she had a piss poor attitude about it? GUILTY. Straight to the gallows.....
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7:40PM on 02/11/2013

GUILTY

For every reason that everyone else has already said. No point in rehashing why she is so shitty.
For every reason that everyone else has already said. No point in rehashing why she is so shitty.
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7:40PM on 02/11/2013

GUILTY

double post
double post
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8:44PM on 02/11/2013

guilty

she messed up with bashing knocked up
she messed up with bashing knocked up
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9:18PM on 02/11/2013

Guilty

How about Jason statham on the stand next?
How about Jason statham on the stand next?
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9:20PM on 02/11/2013

Guilty

She's the guiltiest of them all. Lock her up in movie jail, and put her in solitary confinement. She doesn't even deserve to be in the same cell-block as Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, Julia Roberts, and other prisoners who have actually contributed something decent once in a while to the film world.
She's the guiltiest of them all. Lock her up in movie jail, and put her in solitary confinement. She doesn't even deserve to be in the same cell-block as Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, Julia Roberts, and other prisoners who have actually contributed something decent once in a while to the film world.
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9:31PM on 02/11/2013
Is it bad that the only movie I remember her from is Under Siege 2?
Is it bad that the only movie I remember her from is Under Siege 2?
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+5
10:43PM on 02/11/2013

Guilty as sin!

If you locked up Juila Roberts, then throw Katherine in there too. She is beautiful, very beautiful, but she is in a lot of shitty films. Her and most of her co-stars should be locked up, Gerard Butler is already in there, let's get Ashton Kutcher in there with them. I don't mind that she bashed "Knocked Up", I actually understand why, but I don't understand her reason for being in some really awful movies.
P.S. Aside from "Knocked Up" being a good film, I agree that "Under Siege 2" is
If you locked up Juila Roberts, then throw Katherine in there too. She is beautiful, very beautiful, but she is in a lot of shitty films. Her and most of her co-stars should be locked up, Gerard Butler is already in there, let's get Ashton Kutcher in there with them. I don't mind that she bashed "Knocked Up", I actually understand why, but I don't understand her reason for being in some really awful movies.
P.S. Aside from "Knocked Up" being a good film, I agree that "Under Siege 2" is probably one of her best films.
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12:17AM on 02/12/2013

GUILTY...

I think the precedent is set for this being the first Movie Jail Deathrow in-mate. RELAX, I'm not suggesting we actually kill her. I'm just saying that an movie we let her be in she has to die. She can become the real life Kenny. And she can never speak again. Her dialogue gets to be dubbed over by the lady who did the grownup voice in the Peanuts Cartoons.
I think the precedent is set for this being the first Movie Jail Deathrow in-mate. RELAX, I'm not suggesting we actually kill her. I'm just saying that an movie we let her be in she has to die. She can become the real life Kenny. And she can never speak again. Her dialogue gets to be dubbed over by the lady who did the grownup voice in the Peanuts Cartoons.
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12:21AM on 02/12/2013

Like Chappelle said

Katie's got some big ass titiies!
Katie's got some big ass titiies!
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12:30AM on 02/12/2013
Im breaking Gerald Butler and Jessica Alba out of movie jail. While Kirsten Stewart is out walking the streets freely, no way in hell should they be imprisoned. As for Heigl, at least shes done one good movie, not guilty
Im breaking Gerald Butler and Jessica Alba out of movie jail. While Kirsten Stewart is out walking the streets freely, no way in hell should they be imprisoned. As for Heigl, at least shes done one good movie, not guilty
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12:36AM on 02/12/2013

Movie Jail: Defendant Katherine Heigl

GUILTY!
For every Knocked Up the defendant has a Life as We Know It (and let's not forget The Killers)...
GUILTY!
For every Knocked Up the defendant has a Life as We Know It (and let's not forget The Killers)...
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12:41AM on 02/12/2013

I really hate to do this...

...but guilty. She is super sexy, just not happy with her career thus far in the movie industry. I hope she bounces back though for sure.
...but guilty. She is super sexy, just not happy with her career thus far in the movie industry. I hope she bounces back though for sure.
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1:44AM on 02/12/2013

Guilty

But she is still hot as hell with a great rack! Waiting for her to show off those bad boys.
But she is still hot as hell with a great rack! Waiting for her to show off those bad boys.
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+1
6:10AM on 02/12/2013

Guilty but...

... Let's put it into context. It's not like she's as guilty as Uwe Boll. Ms Heigl only stars in shit movies. It's not like she writes and directs them.
... Let's put it into context. It's not like she's as guilty as Uwe Boll. Ms Heigl only stars in shit movies. It's not like she writes and directs them.
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+5
9:10AM on 02/12/2013

Some actors can raise the level of shitty material...

...Hiegl does not fall into that category. Not that her choices in projects has been stellar but she could bring ANY movie to a screeching halt just by opening her mouth to "act". GUILTY.
...Hiegl does not fall into that category. Not that her choices in projects has been stellar but she could bring ANY movie to a screeching halt just by opening her mouth to "act". GUILTY.
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9:39AM on 02/12/2013
I rarely chime in on these, but ...Guilty! ...I've been a Heigl fan because of my Heigl crush and I've endured more than my share of punishment sitting through her movies. She needs to be locked up ASAP. And hopefully if she's locked away, she'll be force to do nudity to regain her career. ....Then it would have been all worth it.
I rarely chime in on these, but ...Guilty! ...I've been a Heigl fan because of my Heigl crush and I've endured more than my share of punishment sitting through her movies. She needs to be locked up ASAP. And hopefully if she's locked away, she'll be force to do nudity to regain her career. ....Then it would have been all worth it.
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10:27AM on 02/12/2013
Im afraid to say it but I can't haggle in her favor. No deal. Send her up the river and tell her to start work on doing the laundry at movie jail.
Im afraid to say it but I can't haggle in her favor. No deal. Send her up the river and tell her to start work on doing the laundry at movie jail.
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+3
12:24PM on 02/12/2013

Beyond GUILTY

GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY!!!
GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY!!!
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1:16PM on 02/12/2013
GUILTY!!!!!!

She's never had any real charisma or charm and makes the most by the numbers rom-coms out there.
GUILTY!!!!!!

She's never had any real charisma or charm and makes the most by the numbers rom-coms out there.
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10:28PM on 02/12/2013

Not Guilty

While yes, she usually stars in disposable rom-coms, most of those rom-coms are far and away better than other shit from Jennifer Anniston or Julia Roberts. Heigl is typically paired with male co-stars that are charismatic and and with whom she has chemistry (usually). As such, despite the rom-com rarely being amazing, and hers never really breaking that mold, they could be far worse if Julia Roberts or Jennifer Anniston starred in them.
While yes, she usually stars in disposable rom-coms, most of those rom-coms are far and away better than other shit from Jennifer Anniston or Julia Roberts. Heigl is typically paired with male co-stars that are charismatic and and with whom she has chemistry (usually). As such, despite the rom-com rarely being amazing, and hers never really breaking that mold, they could be far worse if Julia Roberts or Jennifer Anniston starred in them.
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2:49AM on 02/13/2013

guilty

never cared to watch any of her films
never cared to watch any of her films
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11:30AM on 02/13/2013

Guilty By Reason of Greed, But Who Can Blame Her?

I play the lottery, I dream of a day when I have more money than I know what to do with. To Ms. Heigl's credit, she probably has a similar dream and she realized that dream when she got offered $15 million to star in One For the Money and $12 million for Life As We Know It. She also received $12 million for Killers., a highly touted script that was in great demand at the time of development. That's $36 million paid to her for 3 films whose average domestic box office was $42.3 million. Prior to
I play the lottery, I dream of a day when I have more money than I know what to do with. To Ms. Heigl's credit, she probably has a similar dream and she realized that dream when she got offered $15 million to star in One For the Money and $12 million for Life As We Know It. She also received $12 million for Killers., a highly touted script that was in great demand at the time of development. That's $36 million paid to her for 3 films whose average domestic box office was $42.3 million. Prior to that she was paid $6 million a piece for 27 Dresses and the Ugly Truth. Those were her immediate follow-up's to Knocked Up and they averaged an $83 million domestic gross. For a person whose films were making over $80 million, a $12 million payday is reasonable. She got paid what she was worth. The problem, to me, seems to be that she then took projects that could pay her the most, not the projects that would ensure any career longevity. I think she can bounce back. She always plays the shrew, supposedly because she's a bit of a shrew in real life and connects with the characters. She's made a ton of money and is supposedly trying to get back to lower budget ensemble pieces to recoup whatever clout Knocked Up gave her. I'm fine with that. I don't hate her. Her films are cute. They're not very good, but they're warm and gooey and solid for dates. She knows it. We know it. Don't begrudge the woman for trying to find a lucrative niche. I certainly don't.
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