Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Kevin Costner!
Nov. 19, 2012
The Defendant
Kevin Costner
The Case
The Prosecution: Swing Vote, The Guardian, The Upside of Anger, Dragonfly, Rumor Has It, Message in a Bottle, For Love of the Game, The Company Men*
You might be surprised by Mr. Costner being thrown on trial, but his name has been brought up here and there and we think we can make a good case for his conviction. First off, what happened to this guy? The man started things off with a bang, basically taking the proverbial bull by the horns and forcing himself into leading man territory with 1987's The Untouchables as Elliot Ness. He then went on to own the late 80s and early 90s, but somewhere around 1997's The Postman (a so-so film), Costner lost his footing and wound up in romantic comedy territory. Up until then Mr. Costner had the 1-2 punch of leading man looks and charm, with overall "man's man" credibility. So did he lean on his looks for the last part of the 90s and into the oughts? We think so. Since then he's had a few moments with bringing the Hatfield and McCoys to the small screen, a nice turn in Mr. Brooks and while The Company Men was a decent movie, that was more of an ensemble performance than a great Kevin Costner performance. The prosecution feels it's time to throw Mr. Costner in a Scared Straight situation to get him back on the track of righteousness once again.
The Defense: Wyatt Earp, Dances With Wolves, A Perfect World, No Way Out, Bull Durham, Field of Dreams, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, The Untouchables, The Bodyguard, JFK, Silverado, A Perfect World*
Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, the defense feels Mr. Costner has simply done more good than bad. This is no different than our cases against Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, and John Travolta. These are all solid actors who've had some ups and downs in their career and at the end of the day, were convicted of no crime. And we think the same should be said for Mr. Kevin Costner. His run from 1987 and 1997 is so impressive, we're wondering why the hell Mr. Costner is even on trial. His creepy role in Mr. Brooks was a nice change of pace and his move into producing an Emmy award winning miniseries shows that he's branching out into other avenues. Seriously, the prosecution needs to get its shit together.
IN CLOSING...
So, what’s to be done with Mr. Kevin Cosnter? Could he benefit from a year or two in Movie Jail? Is his legacy solid enough to escape prosecution? And the most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into consideration, we ask you The Jury, is Kevin Costner GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Let’s hear YOUR arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.
*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so relax.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
In what could be the closest decision in Movie Jail History, the court finds Roland Emmerich NOT GUILTY of all charges. Early on, the jury was definitely swayed by the defense's argument that Mr. Emmerich's films were non-sensical horseshit, but late in deliberation, the overall love of Independence Day and the willingness to forgive said "horseshit", was enought to tip the votes just slightly to a 22-26 acquittal of charges.
| Extra Tidbit: | Who Should Take the Stand Next? Strike Back Below! |
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| Source: | JoBlo.com |
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what the fuck is this shit??
Robert De Niro
Nic Cage
John Travolta
Oliver Stone
Jim Carrey
Robert Rodriguez
Roland Emmerich
These guys have earned many jet out of jail free cards, many. stop it dude. On a side note, fucking dead pan Stewart gets off? Now that's a real travesty. Ph yeah, not fucking guilty. I know it's a fun column and all, but lets get some real criminals up here.
Robert De Niro
Nic Cage
John Travolta
Oliver Stone
Jim Carrey
Robert Rodriguez
Roland Emmerich
These guys have earned many jet out of jail free cards, many. stop it dude. On a side note, fucking dead pan Stewart gets off? Now that's a real travesty. Ph yeah, not fucking guilty. I know it's a fun column and all, but lets get some real criminals up here.
Not Guilty
Open Range/Mr. Brooks are GREAT movies..
NOT GUILTY
NOT GUILTY!
Not guilty
I say not guilty.
Suggestions for next week
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Brendan Frazier
With all of the recent Star Wars news, what about George Lucas?
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Brendan Frazier
With all of the recent Star Wars news, what about George Lucas?
not guilty
Open Range
Not Guilty
The guy has made several great movies, and not just in the 80s and 90s. Open Range is an awesome Western, Mr. Brooks is an underrated thriller, and the Hatfields & McCoys was a great miniseries, with Costner being one of the best parts of it,
The guy has made several great movies, and not just in the 80s and 90s. Open Range is an awesome Western, Mr. Brooks is an underrated thriller, and the Hatfields & McCoys was a great miniseries, with Costner being one of the best parts of it,
Not Guilty
Guilty!
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
Not guilty
As previously mentioned Katherine Heigl, M. Night Shyamalan, Ivan Reitman
also
Kevin James
Mel Gibson
Garry Marshall
Catherine Hardwicke
Mickey Rourke
Julia Roberts
Paul W.S. Anderson
Milla Jovovich
P.S.
These are all people who would likely stir up the Guilty/Not Guilty pot a lot more than Kevin Costner or Jim Carrey, and with a few exceptions, I think they could be fairly debatable picks.
As previously mentioned Katherine Heigl, M. Night Shyamalan, Ivan Reitman
also
Kevin James
Mel Gibson
Garry Marshall
Catherine Hardwicke
Mickey Rourke
Julia Roberts
Paul W.S. Anderson
Milla Jovovich
P.S.
These are all people who would likely stir up the Guilty/Not Guilty pot a lot more than Kevin Costner or Jim Carrey, and with a few exceptions, I think they could be fairly debatable picks.
Just... no...No....NOOO!
Not Guilty!
In closing, I will leave you
In closing, I will leave you with one last thought: Just look at that picture of Val Kilmer up there! lol
Not Guilty
Next up: M. Night Shyamalan.
Next up: M. Night Shyamalan.
NOT GUILTY!!!
Mr. Kevin Costner is found NOT GUILTY
Field of Dreams still makes me feel warm and fuzzy.
Field of Dreams still makes me feel warm and fuzzy.
Not Guilty
NOT GUILTY
Not guilty
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
Its become so lazy and cliche to say that he sucks. I say boo to that notion. Untouchables, Bull Durham, Thirteen Days, Open Range. Even Waterworld is good if you can forgive the 'complete ripoff from Road Warrior' thing. I was majorly bummed when he dropped out of Django Unchained and I think Man of Steel is shaping up to be a pitch perfect role for him.
Its become so lazy and cliche to say that he sucks. I say boo to that notion. Untouchables, Bull Durham, Thirteen Days, Open Range. Even Waterworld is good if you can forgive the 'complete ripoff from Road Warrior' thing. I was majorly bummed when he dropped out of Django Unchained and I think Man of Steel is shaping up to be a pitch perfect role for him.
Tom Hanks might be a good one for next week.
Not guilty
Suggestion for next week:
I've watched Robin Hood a million times.
I've watched Robin Hood a million times.
Not guilty...
I also agree with AnubisLive that MAN OF STEEL could be awesome for him.
I also agree with AnubisLive that MAN OF STEEL could be awesome for him.
not guilty
Not guilty
However, two cases that make him officially not guilty in my eyes. "Hatfields and McCoys" was a pretty damn good series. And he's playing Jonathan Kent in next years "Man of Steel". This superman movie could really make and break the careers
However, two cases that make him officially not guilty in my eyes. "Hatfields and McCoys" was a pretty damn good series. And he's playing Jonathan Kent in next years "Man of Steel". This superman movie could really make and break the careers of anyone in it (except Amy Adams, she'll still have work even if the movie turns out terrible)
Some of the others are perhaps a little shady, but they usually have Costner as one of the few redeeming qualities.
In conclusion: not guilty.
Some of the others are perhaps a little shady, but they usually have Costner as one of the few redeeming qualities.
In conclusion: not guilty.