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Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Michael Polish!

09.21.2015

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This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity* and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.

The Defendant

Stay Cool Michael Polish Mark Polish Hilary Duff Sean Astin

The Case

The Prosecution: 90 Minutes in Heaven, Amnesiac, Stay Cool, The Smell of Success, Jackpot

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, director and screenwriter Michael Polish first garnered notice in 1999 for Twin Falls Idaho, but his films since the Sundance indie hit haven't been well-received by critics or moviegoers. Mr. Polish's latest movie, 90 Minutes in Heaven, has earned low marks from critics, and underperformed at the box office in its opening weekend, especially for a film based on a well-known true story and book.

Mr. Polish is responsible for several unmemorable and little-seen movies such as Amnesiac and The Smell of Success, and he also helped write the negatively reviewed comedy Stay Cool. The prosecution will give the filmmaker credit for exploring different genres, however we don't believe he has made an impressive movie since his feature film directorial debut. Even his highest rated post-Twin Falls Idaho film (The Astronaut Farmer) is only sitting at 57% at Rotten Tomatoes.

In short, Mr. Polish has had a very weak run of movies following his breakout film, and although they probably don't warrant a life sentence, he does deserve some jail time for his unsatisfactory big screen efforts.

90 Minutes in Heaven Michael Polish Hayden Christensen

The Defense: Big Sur, For Lovers Only, The Astronaut Farmer, Northfork, Twin Falls Idaho

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Polish hasn't seen much success critically or financially with his films since Twin Falls Idaho, but there's no need to put him behind bars. While he does have a spotty track record, the defense believes Mr. Polish isn't one of the bad guys, and he definitely isn't just another cog in the Hollywood system like other directors and screenwriters who have been up for Movie Jail.

The defense could have done without 90 Minutes in Heaven, however there are a few underappreciated gems on his filmography, like Northfork and Big Sur. Mr. Polish has mostly stuck to his indie roots, which some may argue has had a negative impact on his career, but my client has been making the movies he wants the way he wants. No, they haven't all been great, but it's not as if he's been turning out complete garbage in the years since his Sundance debut.

Perhaps Mr. Polish's most recent films have been a little disappointing, however a prison sentence seems completely unnecessary, and the defense is confident that the jury will agree that he shouldn't serve any jail time.

Twin Falls Idaho Michael Polish Mark Polish

IN CLOSING...

What should we do with the Twin Falls Idaho writer, director and star? Do you still think Mr. Polish is a talented filmmaker, or should we toss him in a jail cell with his wife, Kate Bosworth? Is Michael Polish GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?

*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyway, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.

WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?

Michael Polish Kate Bosworth

LAST WEEK'S VERDICT

Alex Kendrick Stephen Kendrick

Faith-based filmmakers Alex and Stephen Kendrick were found GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial. Although the duo are just making films that only appeal to a certain group of people, most jury members came down on them hard for not making quality movies, and for being too preachy with their Christian beliefs.

PREVIOUS VERDICTS

GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition), Zach Braff, Sam Worthington, Melissa McCarthy, The Wachowski Siblings, Kate Bosworth, Garry Marshall, David Goyer, Akiva Goldsman, Avi Arad, Damon Lindelof, Hayden Christensen, Dennis Dugan, Sharon Stone, Jessica Biel, Nick Swardson, Simon Kinberg, Alex & Stephen Kendrick

NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman, Stephen Sommers, Shawn Levy, Jai Courtney, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, Jamie Foxx, Luc Besson, Jason Reitman, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Connelly, Sienna Miller, Ben Barnes, Simon West, Len Wiseman, Brendan Fraser, Megan Fox, Neal McDonough, Cameron Crowe, Katie Holmes, Elijah Wood, Tarsem Singh, Reese Witherspoon, Burt Reynolds, Ed Helms, Sean Astin

UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler, Jessica Alba, Julia Roberts and The Farrelly Brothers, Ben Stiller, Tim Burton and Shia LaBeouf, Johnny Depp, Kevin Smith & Chris Rock, Ice Cube, Owen Wilson & Vince Vaughn

Extra Tidbit: Who should stand trial next week? Share your suggestions for actors, directors and writers below with your verdict!
Source: JoBlo.com

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3:07AM on 09/22/2015

2nd week in a row

A guy is put in this column that I have never heard of, so I can't vote.
A guy is put in this column that I have never heard of, so I can't vote.
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12:55PM on 09/21/2015

Guilty!

Javier Bardem for next week!
Javier Bardem for next week!
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+1
12:25PM on 09/21/2015
Dont know this guy or anything hes done but he Looks like our mail man, whos alway too late! So..guilty for that!
Dont know this guy or anything hes done but he Looks like our mail man, whos alway too late! So..guilty for that!
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10:56AM on 09/21/2015
Really poor choice for this one. Got no opinions on the guy.
Really poor choice for this one. Got no opinions on the guy.
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+0
9:06AM on 09/21/2015

Pass.


Most users didn't know who the Kendrick brothers, Dario Argento and Ben Barnes were. I did, but I don't know this guy. I read the article and I recognize a couple of titles, but I haven't seen any of them.

Next week: Candice Bergen, Jason Blum, Kristin Chenoweth, Alan Cumming, Elisha Cuthbert, Danny DeVito, Matt Dillon, Brad Fuller, Kelsey Grammer, Melanie Griffith, Raja Gosnell, Don Johnson, Angelina Jolie, Jamie Kennedy, Ben Kingsley, Brian Levant, Eugene Levy, Lucy Liu, Robert Luketic,

Most users didn't know who the Kendrick brothers, Dario Argento and Ben Barnes were. I did, but I don't know this guy. I read the article and I recognize a couple of titles, but I haven't seen any of them.

Next week: Candice Bergen, Jason Blum, Kristin Chenoweth, Alan Cumming, Elisha Cuthbert, Danny DeVito, Matt Dillon, Brad Fuller, Kelsey Grammer, Melanie Griffith, Raja Gosnell, Don Johnson, Angelina Jolie, Jamie Kennedy, Ben Kingsley, Brian Levant, Eugene Levy, Lucy Liu, Robert Luketic, James Marsden, Neal Moritz, Amanda Peet, Sean Penn, Kelly Preston, Meg Ryan, Barry Sonnenfeld, Barbra Streisand or Patrick Warburton.
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9:35AM on 09/21/2015
Whoa, whoa, whoa? Did people really not know Dario Argento? On a geeky website like this?

I find that difficult to wrap my head around.
Whoa, whoa, whoa? Did people really not know Dario Argento? On a geeky website like this?

I find that difficult to wrap my head around.
10:16AM on 09/21/2015
Yes. That's partly why he was declared Not Guilty (not enough votes). If you scroll up, you can read about his trial.
Yes. That's partly why he was declared Not Guilty (not enough votes). If you scroll up, you can read about his trial.
11:02AM on 09/21/2015
There were like 5 people out of 20 that didn't know who he was, or more importantly how bad his work has gotten in the last 20 years.
There were like 5 people out of 20 that didn't know who he was, or more importantly how bad his work has gotten in the last 20 years.
+0
8:29AM on 09/21/2015

Not guilty

Sure, he's made some crappy movies but anyone who could make Northfork ( vastly overlooked) and Twin Falls Idaho needs to be left in the wild to see if lightning can strike again. Besides, he isn't spending $200M/movie of studio cash on his crappy ones like some high profile directors who consistently produce garbage so what's the harm?
Sure, he's made some crappy movies but anyone who could make Northfork ( vastly overlooked) and Twin Falls Idaho needs to be left in the wild to see if lightning can strike again. Besides, he isn't spending $200M/movie of studio cash on his crappy ones like some high profile directors who consistently produce garbage so what's the harm?
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8:25AM on 09/21/2015

???????

they're really just picking at straws with this column nowadays.
they're really just picking at straws with this column nowadays.
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8:19AM on 09/21/2015

Ah....

Who?
Who?
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8:13AM on 09/21/2015

Michael Polish

Who?
Michael polish, legendary actor? Guys? Aw forget it.
Who?
Michael polish, legendary actor? Guys? Aw forget it.
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8:03AM on 09/21/2015

No Judgement

Umm, who?
Umm, who?
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7:58AM on 09/21/2015
No comment for me either because I have no idea who this guy is.
No comment for me either because I have no idea who this guy is.
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7:48AM on 09/21/2015

Yet another week were I haven't a clue who this person is.

So, no comment.
So, no comment.
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7:43AM on 09/21/2015
If you're using Big Sur as a defense then you have no case.. Guilty.
If you're using Big Sur as a defense then you have no case.. Guilty.
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