Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Nic Cage!
Aug. 20, 2012
The Defendant
Nicolas Cage
The Case
The Prosecution: Bangkok Dangerous, The Wicker Man, The Weather Man, Snake Eyes, Trespass, Ghost Rider, Knowing, Next, Gone in 60 Seconds, 8MM, Season of the Witch, The Sorcerer's Apprentice.*
Ladies and gentleman of the jury, we know in the real world, a strong work ethic and consistent output of product can go a long way. But in Hollywood, the reverse can be true. And there's no other shining example of that then Nicolas Cage. The guy is averaging about five movies per year and we can expect MAYBE one out them to be at least halfway decent. Is this how low the court is setting the bar for Oscar winners? Sure, a man can work to put food on his table or to pay off the note on his castles and unpaid federal taxes, but aren't there halfway decent scripts for an Oscar winning actor? This just shows poor judgment, and that's why the prosecution seeks a guilty verdict against Mr. Cage. Plus, what's with all those damn wigs?.
The Defense: Kick Ass, Adaptation, Wild at Heart, Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, Matchstick Men, Con Air, The Rock, Leaving Las Vegas, Raising Arizona.*
Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, a guy can't have multiple wigs? He's makes a living at playing pretend, for goshsake (sorry for the harsh language). And what's wrong having a franchise or two to pay off some bills? Mr. Cage is the shining example of "mo money, mo problems". It comes with the territory. Mr. Cage has put in his time, starting out his career in solid movies like Valley Girl, Rumble Fish, and Raising Arizona and then has a resurgence in the early 90s with an outstanding string of flicks films like Kiss ofDeath, Leaving Las Vegas, The Rock, Con Air and Face/Off. And sure, the 2000s hasn't produced the best of movies for Mr. Cage, but with Adaptation, Kick Ass, Matchstick Men and his brilliant turn in Bad Lieutenant, the defense feels this is evidence enough to acquit Mr. Cage of all charges. And if that's not enough evidence, then there's always this:
IN CLOSING...
So, what’s to be done with Mr. Nic Cage? Is it really such a bad thing that's he's earning a living, taking what work he can, and doing his best with it? Are his choice in scripts laziness or a lack of challenging himself? And the most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into consideration, we ask you The Jury, is Nicolas Cage GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Let’s hear YOUR arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.
*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so relax.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
It is the jury's decision that after reviewing last week's evidence, the court finds Mr. Vince Vaughn GUILTY of all charges. The jury feels that while, yes, Mr. Vaughn is playing the same character with the same schtick for years, his dramatic turns and the potential he still has to win audiences over, greatly outweights any harsh sentence he may deserve. He will be sentenced to two years in Movie Jail and house arrest for five years or two consecutively good movies. If he slips, the sentence will be ten times worse.
| Extra Tidbit: | Who Should Take the Stand Next? Strike Back Below! |
|---|
| Source: | JoBlo.com |
|---|
NOT GUILTY
R
NOT GUILTY
NOT GULITY
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
Not Guilty.
Like you list Season of the Witch on the prosecution, but I had a ball watching that shitty movie.
You can't knock a guy for loving what he does, rarely does he phone it in.
Like you list Season of the Witch on the prosecution, but I had a ball watching that shitty movie.
You can't knock a guy for loving what he does, rarely does he phone it in.
Not Guilty
He's completely sold out. What used to be an actor who made interesting, thought-provoking, or at the very least fun movies has become a guy who just makes movies so that he can pay off his debt. That's just sad.
He's completely sold out. What used to be an actor who made interesting, thought-provoking, or at the very least fun movies has become a guy who just makes movies so that he can pay off his debt. That's just sad.
I like three Cage films, 8mm, Kick Ass and Season of the Witch.
I like three Cage films, 8mm, Kick Ass and Season of the Witch.
Not guilty
Not guilty
Not Guilty
'You Honor. I present exhibit A: "Raising Arizona". Thank you, the defense rests.'
Also, "The Weather Man" and "Knowing" are pretty good films. "Kick-Ass" has no business being listed as his defense or as a good film. "Moonstruck", "Bringing Out The Dead", "Lord of War", "World Trade Center" should be listed over "Kick-Ass".
'You Honor. I present exhibit A: "Raising Arizona". Thank you, the defense rests.'
Also, "The Weather Man" and "Knowing" are pretty good films. "Kick-Ass" has no business being listed as his defense or as a good film. "Moonstruck", "Bringing Out The Dead", "Lord of War", "World Trade Center" should be listed over "Kick-Ass".
Not Guilty!
Not Guilty!
Not Guilty!
Not Guilty
Nuff said.
Tidbit: Samuel L. Jackson
Nuff said.
Tidbit: Samuel L. Jackson
I plead No Contest on Mr. Cage's behalf
This one's hard.
BUT. With Bangkok Dangerous, The Wicker Man, Snake Eyes, Trespass, Ghost Rider, Next, 8MM, Season of the Witch, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Seeking Justice, both National Treasures, and Drive Angry all under his belt in the past two decades.... I have to say....
GUILTY. On Probation until he can pay off the IRS.
BUT. With Bangkok Dangerous, The Wicker Man, Snake Eyes, Trespass, Ghost Rider, Next, 8MM, Season of the Witch, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Seeking Justice, both National Treasures, and Drive Angry all under his belt in the past two decades.... I have to say....
GUILTY. On Probation until he can pay off the IRS.
Is there an Insanity Plea?
[link]
[link]
Guilty....
Lets make..
Guility
I was wondering when we'd get around to him...
Had any other actor committed these atrocities (well, not ANY other actor), I would call them out. But Nicolas Cage isn't just an actor. He's Nicolas Fucking Cage. The man is all over the map when it comes to quality, and yes, he's turning in an ungodly amount of work. But calling out just his bad movies doesn't make him due for a stint. Not when he's still got so much that's good.
Had any other actor committed these atrocities (well, not ANY other actor), I would call them out. But Nicolas Cage isn't just an actor. He's Nicolas Fucking Cage. The man is all over the map when it comes to quality, and yes, he's turning in an ungodly amount of work. But calling out just his bad movies doesn't make him due for a stint. Not when he's still got so much that's good.
Not Guilty
I say he's innoncent.
I say he's innoncent.
Not guilty.
He should be found not guilty even *because* of some of his terrible roles. Could anyone other than Cage have given us *that* performance in 'The Wicker Man'? Or 'Vampire's Kiss'? The world would be a much sadder place without these things.
Not guilty.
He should be found not guilty even *because* of some of his terrible roles. Could anyone other than Cage have given us *that* performance in 'The Wicker Man'? Or 'Vampire's Kiss'? The world would be a much sadder place without these things.
Not Guilty
Extra Tidbit: Get Katherine Heigl in there already, her crimes against film need to be put of trial
Extra Tidbit: Get Katherine Heigl in there already, her crimes against film need to be put of trial
Not Guilty
Whoa, whoa, whoa!......
Not Guilty
Guilty as charged
Even his bad roles are crazy fun to watch... come on!
Even his bad roles are crazy fun to watch... come on!
NOT GUILTY!!!!
Yeah....
Guilty but...
Not Guilty
Bad Lieutenant used as DEFENSE??
Extra Tidbit: Next movie jail... Tim Burton
Extra Tidbit: Next movie jail... Tim Burton
Yeah, Raising Arizona's great. But the Coens could get a funny, timeless performance out of anybody. Kristen Stewart, Ashton Kutcher, Andy Dick. anybody.
Picture a world where he actually got to play Superman. The Prosecution Rests.
Extra Tidbit: I accuse Sharon Stone.
Yeah, Raising Arizona's great. But the Coens could get a funny, timeless performance out of anybody. Kristen Stewart, Ashton Kutcher, Andy Dick. anybody.
Picture a world where he actually got to play Superman. The Prosecution Rests.
Extra Tidbit: I accuse Sharon Stone.
Not Guilty
Drunk hicks of the Jury!
So in closing yes Nic makes some terrible choices in movies but he always has fun doing them. The main difference between him and someone like Vince Vaughn is that Nic realizes he makes some shit films and always throws in a great role among the shit. I'm fine with getting another 10 movies like Next if it means he get alnother brilliant perfromance like Port of Call New Orleans.
sigh...
Guilty!
Guilty
The wigs don't help, he should just shave his head.
The wigs don't help, he should just shave his head.
As for who should be the next to stand trial, I'd like to suggest directors like Michael Bay or the Farrelly Brothers.
Guilty!
I like him but...