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Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Tarsem Singh!

07.13.2015

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This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity* and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.

The Defendant

Tarsem Singh

The Case

The Prosecution: Self/Less, Mirror Mirror, Immortals

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Tarsem Singh first got his start directing well-received music videos and commercials before making his feature film directorial debut with 2000's The Cell, a flawed but still solid movie. However, his projects since 2006's The Fall haven't done well critically, and his latest film Self/Less was destroyed by critics.

Critics have never been too high on the director's movies though,withThe Fall being the only one close to having a fresh rating at Rotten Tomatoes. There's no denying that Mr. Singh knows how to make a trippy looking film, but as you know, stunning visuals don't make a great movie; sorry, Immortals fans. Part of the problem is he hasn't been working from the best scripts, and The Fall is the only one he helped write. One might argue that gets him off the hook, but in the prosecution's opinion, he needs to be hooking up with better screenplays.

Since Mr. Singh has only been behind the camera for five big screen projects, the prosecution isn't seeking a life sentence, but we believe he should serve a few months behind bars for his recent weak directorial efforts.

Self/Less Tarsem Singh Ryan Reynolds

The Defense: Immortals, The Fall, The Cell

Ladies and gentlemen, so based on the prosecution's logic, we're supposed to lock up a director just because his films as of late haven't received critical acclaim? The only truly awful movie on his filmography is Self/Less, and although Mirror Mirror wasn't fantastic, the defense would still take it over Snow White and the Huntsman. And screw the prosecution; Immortals was awesome.

My client certainly has an eye for visuals, and the defense believes he still has a ton of potential. Can you imagine what he could do with a straight up horror film, or a comic book movie, like the upcoming threequel Thor: Ragnarok? The defense understands this about what Mr. Sing has done and not what he could do, but with only five movies under his belt, we think he still has plenty left to offer as a director.

The defense would rather see Mr. Singh continue to make movies than not, and we believe that the jury will feel the same way. He just doesn't deserve to go to Movie Jail, even with the mostly negative reviews for his newest movie.

Immortals Tarsem Singh Henry Cavill

IN CLOSING...

Are you still confident in Mr. Singh's abilities as a director, or do you think he should serve some jail time for his recent output? Does he belong in Movie Jail, or does he just need to stop working from bad scripts? Is filmmaker Tarsem Singh GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?

*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyway, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.

WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?

Mirror Mirror Tarsem Singh Julia Roberts

LAST WEEK'S VERDICT

Basic Instinct 2 Sharon Stone

Sharon Stone is (almost) just as hot as she was during her peak years in the 1990s, however her looks weren't enough to stave off a prison term. The Basic Instinct star was found GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial, but since it was close, the court is open to paroling the actress if she can keep her nose clean and starts to land quality movie roles again.

PREVIOUS VERDICTS

GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition), Zach Braff, Sam Worthington, Melissa McCarthy, The Wachowski Siblings, Kate Bosworth, Garry Marshall, David Goyer, Akiva Goldsman, Avi Arad, Damon Lindelof, Hayden Christensen, Dennis Dugan, Sharon Stone

NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman, Stephen Sommers, Shawn Levy, Jai Courtney, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, Jamie Foxx, Luc Besson, Jason Reitman, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Connelly, Sienna Miller, Ben Barnes, Simon West, Len Wiseman, Brendan Fraser, Megan Fox, Neal McDonough, Cameron Crowe, Katie Holmes, Elijah Wood

UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler, Jessica Alba, Julia Roberts and The Farrelly Brothers, Ben Stiller, Tim Burton and Shia LaBeouf, Johnny Depp, Kevin Smith & Chris Rock

Extra Tidbit: Who should stand trial next week? Share your suggestions for actors, directors and writers below with your verdict!
Source: JoBlo.com

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