Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Wes Craven!
Welcome to Movie Jail, a facility like any other, only its inmates are Hollywood writers, directors, actors and producers. This column will serve as a Movie Jail trial. We will put one defendant on trial; lay out arguments for the Prosecution and Defense. And we leave it up to YOU, the reader, to decide whether the defendant is guilty of his or her crime. What crime? The crime of consistently being a stinking shithouse.
The Prosecution: My Soul to Take, Cursed, Scream 3, Vampire in Brooklyn, New Nightmare, producer and executive of many awful projects*
Ladies and gentleman of the jury, there have been many times on The JoBlo Movie Podcast (every Monday on JoBlo.com) when Movie Jail warden, Jim Law, has brought up Mr. Craven's name as a defendant. Seeing that this week's FACE-OFF pits Craven against Carpenter, the prosecution feels what better time to throw Mr. Craven on trial than now. How does one man, who's name is synonymous with the horror genre, create some of the two of the biggest franchises in said genre, and fill the gaps with such horseshit? Just look at the man's Rotten Tomatoes rundown. Does this look like the resume of a groundbreaking visionary of the horror genre? His last fresh rating was Red Eye in 2005? That's 7 years ago, ladies and gentleman of the jury, and since then he's polluted the genre with crap like My Soul to Take and producing other crap like The Hills Have Eyes 2, The Breed and Dracula 2000. DRACULA 2000 folks! And if Vampire in Brooklyn is brought up in the defense, the prosecution is liable to throw someone out a window. Not really.
The Defense: Scream 1 and 2, Red Eye, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Serpent and the Rainbow, The People Under the Stairs, Shocker*Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, how can we just completely discount Mr. Craven's place in horror history? Can we name another person who has spawned so many imitators in the genre? The things he's done to create a new brand of horror back in the day should not go overlooked, no matter the blunders he's had over the last couple of years. And what's the guy supposed to do? Sit on his ass and float on the success of his earlier work? No, he keeps plugging and plugging away. Does it always work out? Maybe, maybe not. But he still remains prolific, and why should he be faulted for that? And besides, what's this shit about Vampire in Brooklyn? You have Eddie Murphy as a goddamn vampire....in Brooklyn, yo!
So, whatís to be done with Mr. Wes Craven? Will a stint in Movie Jail help his career to get back on the right track? Has his recent run of shit sandwiches ruined his legacy in the genre of horror? And the most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into consideration, we ask you The Jury, is Wes Craven GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Letís hear YOUR arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.
*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so relax.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
It is the jury's decision that after reviewing last week's evidence, the court finds Jim Carrey unequivocally NOT GUILTY of all charges. Not only is Mr. Carrey acquitted by a 95% margin, but with such a lopsided victory, it's likely that he'll never see the inside of Movie Jail. Instead, the defense for that trial is sentenced to two years of Federal "pound you in the ass" prison.
The Farrelly Brothers
| Robert De Niro
|Extra Tidbit:||Who Should Take the Stand Next? Strike Back Below!|