Music vids as movies?

Music videos have always been an underappreciated artform.  MTV, which
launched the medium into the mainstream, doesn’t even play them anymore. 
But I’ve always been a big fan of music videos and always felt like I was
watching a tiny, little movie.  Considering some music video directors have
gone on to great things in cinema (Spike Jonze, David Fincher, et. al.), that’s
not surprising.

Considering we’ve had TV series, video games, comics,
musicals, toys and board games all adapted for movies, why not music
videos?  OK that probably wouldn’t work but here
are 10 music videos that should have been movies.  I tried to avoid
the obvious like “November Rain,” “Thriller” and
“Sabotage” and go with some out of the box choices.  If I’m
forgetting anything, feel free to strike back below!

“Just” – RADIOHEAD


Directed by Jamie Thraves

One of the best endings in music video history deserves a longer
prelude.  There’s obviously a million questions (or at least one BIG one)
after watching this video and I’m not sure I’d even want a movie to explain it
all.  I can imagine it being like PHONE BOOTH but without Colin Farrell
hamming it up.

“Closer” – NINE
INCH NAILS

Directed by Mark Romanek

One of the classic music videos needs to be expanded just so I
can figure out what the f*ck is going on here.  Who are those dudes? 
Why is there a pig head rotating on a spindle?  Why has that monkey been
crucified?  Not sure I want to know the answer to all those questions but
morbid curiosity is getting the best of me.

“Turn The Page” –
METALLICA

Directed by Jonas Akerlund

Perhaps the most depressing of our entries – OK, definitely
the most depressing – but the story of a stripper/prostitute and her young
daughter trying to make ends meet has Oscar bait all over it.  As it is,
there’s already some great acting going on in that clip.  Give me Gwyneth
Paltrow in the starring role and I’m there.

“Weapon of Choice”
– FATBOY SLIM

Directed by Spike Jonze

Not sure what the plot of this movie would be but Christopher
Walken as a bored businessman who passes the time by dreaming of dancing and
floating around hotels is just too good to pass up.

“Rabbit In Your
Headlights” – UNKLE

Directed by Jonathan Glazer

There are some clips where knowing more would ruin the whole
premise (see “Just” above) but I think with this video, knowing more
would raise the impact of the finale ten fold.  The ending doesn’t even
have to be the ending.  What happens afterwards? 

“Devil’s Haircut”
– BECK

Directed by Mark Romanek

At first glance, it doesn’t seem like the kind of video that
would make much of a movie.  But stick around to the end.  This could
just be the first five minutes of a nasty, paranoid thriller.

“It’s Oh So Quiet”
– BJORK

Directed by Spike Jonze

Movie musicals aren’t really my thing but a Spike Jonze-directed
musical starring Bjork would be right up my alley.  Dancing mailboxes,
flying Icelandic singers and a used car shop.  Doesn’t sound like your
ordinary musical and that’s precisely why I love it.

“Hot For Teacher”
– VAN HALEN

Directed by Pete Angelus & David Lee Roth

So far we’ve got some serious, dramatic entries on the list but
“Hot For Teacher” would make a great Apatowian comedy.  Four
elementary school kids and their nerdy friend all drool over the incredibly hot
teacher and all try to woo her in their own awkward ways.  Who wouldn’t
have loved to see Waldo on the big screen?

“Glosoli” – SIGUR
ROS

Directed by Arni & Kinski

Not sure what it is about this movie that floats my boat so, but
it touched me in ways that most kid-centric videos don’t.  You think you’re
going one way but it kinda takes a turn in a different direction.  But what
are these kids running from and where are they going?

“Coffee & TV”
– BLUR

Directed by Garth Jennings

Here’s one for the kids.  I’d love to see the continuing
journey of Milky, the walking milk carton.  He’s just as cute as Wall-E and
could find all kinds of new adventures in the world.  A kids movie that’s
not just another CGI cartoon – I can dig that.

BONUS VIDEO – Because 10 is never enough,
here’s a bonus video:

“Separate Ways” –
JOURNEY

Directed by I Have No Idea But Whoever It Is Is A Genius

Do I even need to explain?  I could easily watch 90 minutes
of this.  Even just a documentary on the making of this video would be
heaven on Earth.