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Ratner's Conan?!?

09.17.2008

What's not so good in life? To crush the audience hopes and hear the squealing of some fine chicks.

Ahem. We've been hearing about the new CONAN flick for a while now, as the barbarian surfs on a resurgence of popularity. A bunch of screenwriters have wrestled with the Cimmerian over the past year or so, and while many director's names (everyone from Rob Zombie to Neil Marshall) have drifted around the project like those hand-animated spirits fluttering around Mako, none have come to fruition.

So how would you feel about... Brett Ratner?

That's the current skullduggery according to Dread Central -- Ratner may be attached to the project, virtually ensuring its visual anonymity, tons of scantily clad whores and warrior-babes, and uncomfortable amount of comic relief.

On the plus side, if the script is good enough, Ratner may just come in for point-and-shoot filmmaking, letting the second unit and FX crew handle the grander task of creating something watchable.

Ratner has been on and off a number of other projects over the past year or two, so we'll see how this shakes out.

Extra Tidbit: Crom... grant me one request. A decent CONAN movie. And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!
Source: Dread Central

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11:39PM on 09/20/2008
Hell no. Fuck this.
Hell no. Fuck this.
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11:07PM on 09/18/2008
OK its safe to say Ratner has let fame go to his head..the Rush Hour films are fun & I liked Money Talks & Red Dragon...its safe to say that if he had never been involved with X-Men people would not hate him so much..its easy to place the blame on any director..but you blame Fox for X3..Bryan Singer says he would of had no problem directing X3 after Superman (a movie I thought sucked)..but Fox fucked us all by wanting to rush it into production...no im not defending Ratner at all..he is
OK its safe to say Ratner has let fame go to his head..the Rush Hour films are fun & I liked Money Talks & Red Dragon...its safe to say that if he had never been involved with X-Men people would not hate him so much..its easy to place the blame on any director..but you blame Fox for X3..Bryan Singer says he would of had no problem directing X3 after Superman (a movie I thought sucked)..but Fox fucked us all by wanting to rush it into production...no im not defending Ratner at all..he is mediocre anyways just tired of people bitching about X3..get over it people
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8:37PM on 09/18/2008

This better not be true...

...if this ass wipe ever had a decent movie, it's despite him, not because of him.
...if this ass wipe ever had a decent movie, it's despite him, not because of him.
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4:55PM on 09/18/2008
I for one like X-Men 3, Rush Hour 2 and Red Dragon was hell of a lot better than Manhunter. People get pissed off for nothing because their expectations are ridiculous. It's only a friggin movie- you don't like, you don't watch.
I for one like X-Men 3, Rush Hour 2 and Red Dragon was hell of a lot better than Manhunter. People get pissed off for nothing because their expectations are ridiculous. It's only a friggin movie- you don't like, you don't watch.
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1:47PM on 09/18/2008

Hollywood could do better.

I enjoyed Red Dragon but not Rush Hour and I hated the franchise killer that was X3. If he does it, chances are it will be only movie then some one will have to reboot the franchise yet again.
I enjoyed Red Dragon but not Rush Hour and I hated the franchise killer that was X3. If he does it, chances are it will be only movie then some one will have to reboot the franchise yet again.
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1:46PM on 09/18/2008

Hollywood could do better.

I enjoyed Red Dragon but not Rush Hour and hated the franchise killed that was X3. If he does it, chances are it will be one movie then some one will have to reboot the franchise yet again.
I enjoyed Red Dragon but not Rush Hour and hated the franchise killed that was X3. If he does it, chances are it will be one movie then some one will have to reboot the franchise yet again.
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1:37PM on 09/18/2008

Well put Maudibe

Is it me or has Ratner F***ed up every movie he's ever made or am I basing that on the abortion that was X-Men 3? Thoughts anyone? They need someone like Zach Snyder (think 300). The only thing Rushed about those movies, was how quickly I left the theater.
Is it me or has Ratner F***ed up every movie he's ever made or am I basing that on the abortion that was X-Men 3? Thoughts anyone? They need someone like Zach Snyder (think 300). The only thing Rushed about those movies, was how quickly I left the theater.
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12:07PM on 09/18/2008

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

[link]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[link]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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11:52AM on 09/18/2008

He'll ruin Bev hills cop 4 and this too

This is getting seriously ridiculous. Ratner either gives the best head in the business, or he comes cheap as a boardwalk hooker.

I fucking hate all this dude's movies. And I anticipated all of them a lot, and not 1 of them managed to live up to my hopes of them being any good.

He's a guy who graduated from film school with C.

He's straight up point and shoot, and totally uncreative.

And when he wants to get creative, he ruins things like the last x-men flick.

I hope you're
This is getting seriously ridiculous. Ratner either gives the best head in the business, or he comes cheap as a boardwalk hooker.

I fucking hate all this dude's movies. And I anticipated all of them a lot, and not 1 of them managed to live up to my hopes of them being any good.

He's a guy who graduated from film school with C.

He's straight up point and shoot, and totally uncreative.

And when he wants to get creative, he ruins things like the last x-men flick.

I hope you're reading this Ratner, you fat fuck, you're terrible. I do not care what the hell you think about yourself, and if you come up with the whole: "well I am a working director and it's not something everyone can do.", bullshit, I'll track you down and beat that fucking jew-bag constant five-o'clock shadow off your cherubic little face, Because you're not good at it. Get a different job. you'd probably be a great production assistant, with all the cock you probably suck, and ass you kiss. Get someone some fucking coffee, and realize that is your world.


You seriously are the laughing stock of so many of us. Ratner, you my friend, are about 2 ladder rungs above uwe boll in shittiness.

I wouldn't let you direct my sister's fucking wedding you cock-smoker. Seriously. So so seriously. Fucking retard.
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11:40AM on 09/18/2008

FUCK THIS SHIT

FUCK THIS SHIT, I'm super excited about a Conan movie, I just read the stories and they are badass and would make an awesome, DARK film if handled properly, this BETTER NOT BE TRUE
FUCK THIS SHIT, I'm super excited about a Conan movie, I just read the stories and they are badass and would make an awesome, DARK film if handled properly, this BETTER NOT BE TRUE
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10:48AM on 09/18/2008
[link]!!!!!
[link]!!!!!
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10:11AM on 09/18/2008

BEST JOKE OF THE DAY ?

BEST JOKE OF THE DAY ?
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10:07AM on 09/18/2008

@Rollin Hand

-Rush Hour 2
-Rush Hour 3
-Red Dragon
-X-Men: The Last Stand

Plus, the guy recently wanted to make a "Guitar Hero" motion picture... yeah.

As you can see, movie fans have plenty of reasons to be upset.
-Rush Hour 2
-Rush Hour 3
-Red Dragon
-X-Men: The Last Stand

Plus, the guy recently wanted to make a "Guitar Hero" motion picture... yeah.

As you can see, movie fans have plenty of reasons to be upset.
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10:02AM on 09/18/2008

Crom

Lets just say this is a dark day for Conan fans, if Ratner gets his hands on this. On a side note Loved the Crom... grant me one request. A decent CONAN movie. And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you! Sumed this story perfectly!
Lets just say this is a dark day for Conan fans, if Ratner gets his hands on this. On a side note Loved the Crom... grant me one request. A decent CONAN movie. And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you! Sumed this story perfectly!
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8:32AM on 09/18/2008
How about letting him do the movie, then criticize.
If you have an issue, here's a tissue...
How about letting him do the movie, then criticize.
If you have an issue, here's a tissue...
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8:17AM on 09/18/2008
Nooooo!!! Out of all the names they could have mentioned! Why Rattner???? Nooooo!!!

Hey Crom, Screw YOU! Im going solo.
Nooooo!!! Out of all the names they could have mentioned! Why Rattner???? Nooooo!!!

Hey Crom, Screw YOU! Im going solo.
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7:24AM on 09/18/2008
FUCK.

NO.
FUCK.

NO.
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4:50AM on 09/18/2008

Ratner sucks!!

Red Dragon had a great script,great cast and Ratner still fucked it up and made a crap movie
Red Dragon had a great script,great cast and Ratner still fucked it up and made a crap movie
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4:09AM on 09/18/2008

Every time I hear Ratner mentioned

I hope it's because he got busted for something that'll put him in jail for the rest of his life.
I hope it's because he got busted for something that'll put him in jail for the rest of his life.
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1:41AM on 09/18/2008
Could be worse... When I originally read the title I thought it was "Ratner's Cobain" and thought that somehow Bret fucking Ratner was going to be making a biopic about Kurt Cobain... Let Ratner have the shitty brainless franchises like Conan and it'll keep him away from other decent flicks.

And Jack Grimaldi Uwe Boll has absolutely no idea he's a shit director and that's part of his problem.
Could be worse... When I originally read the title I thought it was "Ratner's Cobain" and thought that somehow Bret fucking Ratner was going to be making a biopic about Kurt Cobain... Let Ratner have the shitty brainless franchises like Conan and it'll keep him away from other decent flicks.

And Jack Grimaldi Uwe Boll has absolutely no idea he's a shit director and that's part of his problem.
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12:59AM on 09/18/2008
Uwe Boll knows he's a shit director? Didn't he stage a boxing match with some of his critics BECAUSE he was tired of them bashing his "awesome" movies. Not to mention how he said POSTAL was going to crush INDIANA JONES at the box office and that Spielberg was a hack.

I think Uwe Boll is FAR from knowing he's a shit director.

In regards to Ratner, I hope this doesn't come into fruition. I'm not entirely sold on another CONAN flick either, to be honest.
Uwe Boll knows he's a shit director? Didn't he stage a boxing match with some of his critics BECAUSE he was tired of them bashing his "awesome" movies. Not to mention how he said POSTAL was going to crush INDIANA JONES at the box office and that Spielberg was a hack.

I think Uwe Boll is FAR from knowing he's a shit director.

In regards to Ratner, I hope this doesn't come into fruition. I'm not entirely sold on another CONAN flick either, to be honest.
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11:53PM on 09/17/2008

FUCKIN RAT

is there any franchise ratner won't get his hands on and fuck it up
is there any franchise ratner won't get his hands on and fuck it up
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11:15PM on 09/17/2008
Hopefully like the "other projects" you mentioned he'll be off this one soon. You know at least Uwe Boll knows he's a shit director, but Ratner actually believes he's got talent.

Where's the, "Stop Bret Ratner from making films" petition?
Hopefully like the "other projects" you mentioned he'll be off this one soon. You know at least Uwe Boll knows he's a shit director, but Ratner actually believes he's got talent.

Where's the, "Stop Bret Ratner from making films" petition?
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11:12PM on 09/17/2008
I enjoyed After the Sunset...
But seeing his face on TV, after X-Men 3 makes me upset. He upsets me.
I enjoyed After the Sunset...
But seeing his face on TV, after X-Men 3 makes me upset. He upsets me.
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10:46PM on 09/17/2008
With the exception of maybe Rush Hour 1 and maybe Red Dragon, Ratner has never really been "On"
With the exception of maybe Rush Hour 1 and maybe Red Dragon, Ratner has never really been "On"
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