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Review: Blended

Blended
May. 23, 2014by:
3 10

PLOT: Two single parents (Adam Sandler & Drew Barrymore) suffer through a disastrous blind date, but then coincidentally find their families “blended” together on a dream vacation to South Africa. Hijinks ensue.

REVIEW: Throughout my career at JoBlo.com, I doubt I've ever been as consistently hard on a performer as Adam Sandler. Once upon a time I was a fan of his, but alas you can't be sixteen forever. While his audience has matured, Sandler's still making precisely the type of movie that made him a mint in the late-nineties/ early-aughts.

But why be so hard on him? Clearly he has a (dwindling) fanbase? The thing that I hate about Sandler is his laziness, which I feel borders on contempt for his audience. The man has talent – there's no question about that. If he didn't he would have never pulled off PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE, and while SPANGLISH, REIGN OVER ME, and FUNNY PEOPLE were not well received, he was good-to-great in all three. Maybe he has fun making comedies, but it feels like somewhere along the way he gave up on trying to really be funny, just settling in for easy, dumb laughs, and the kind of sophomoric vehicles he ridiculed in FUNNY PEOPLE.

It's gotten to the point that all of his movies are the same, and the only thing that distinguishes BLENDED from GROWN-UPS or JUST GO WITH IT, is that this re-pairs him with Drew Barrymore, with whom he's admittedly had some chemistry in the past. Barrymore can't help but bring some heart to whatever she's doing, but she's fighting a losing battle here, with a movie that's either stunningly unfunny or ludicrously maudlin, all tied-up in the “family values” package that's become Sandler's bread and butter over the last decade or so. By comparison, this makes their first (and most enduring) pairing, THE WEDDING SINGER, look like a minor classic.

Here, Sandler plays a widower, and probably the only thing one truly has to give credit for is that he makes for a convincing family man – a role that comes easier to him than the lady killer parts he used to play. Still, he's just not funny anymore, and what's worse is that he doesn't even try. All of his jokes are recycled from his other films, with the already-infamous ostrich riding scene being no different from any of the cgi animal attacks in the GROWN UP movies. And oh look, the bickering couple (which of course – are doomed to fall in love) wind up seated at the table with an uncomfortably affectionate, and gross couple. How many times has Sandler done this joke? And how many times has the male half of the couple been played by Kevin Nealon?

What's even worse is that so much of BLENDED opts to tug at the heartstrings, only to constantly cut away to humping rhinos or something else that's just as dumb. Does anyone find crap like this funny? Maybe the only nice thing I can say about BLENDED is that the Sun City location shooting in South Africa is pretty, and that of the cast, the only one who ever comes close to making us laugh is Terry Crews, but even his bit is milked to death.

Of course, a Sandler movie is critic-proof, so if you're reading this trying to decide whether or not you should go see BLENDED, I'll admit that as bad as this is (and it's bad) it's at least a bit better than the GROWN UPS movies, or JUST GO WITH IT, but just by a hair. At 117 minutes, it's oppressively long, and I truly didn't laugh once, but I haven't had an honest laugh at one of his movies since at least as far back as YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN. There is a silver-lining through. Sandler's next two movies are straight-up dramas pairing him with directors Tom McCarthy and Jason Reitman. Can this be a sign that he's switching gears? I certainly hope so, as I don't think I can suffer through another BLENDED.

Source: JoBlo.com

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1:46AM on 05/23/2014
I hope this movie gets buried this weekend by X-Men and Godzilla.
I hope this movie gets buried this weekend by X-Men and Godzilla.
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9:38AM on 05/23/2014
Considering families actually do go out to see films like X-Men and Godzilla, it would surprise me if those film stole the family audience that Blended wants.
Considering families actually do go out to see films like X-Men and Godzilla, it would surprise me if those film stole the family audience that Blended wants.
1:17AM on 05/23/2014
Just go see Days of Future Past instead.
Just go see Days of Future Past instead.
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7:13AM on 05/23/2014
Michael Caine once said something to the effect of, "I've never seen Jaws 4, but I've seen the house Jaws 4 bought." I'm pretty sure Sandler's in that boat, too. I mean, he can't possibly think these scripts are good, can he?
Michael Caine once said something to the effect of, "I've never seen Jaws 4, but I've seen the house Jaws 4 bought." I'm pretty sure Sandler's in that boat, too. I mean, he can't possibly think these scripts are good, can he?
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8:39AM on 05/23/2014
I thought Judd Apatow's movie, This is 40, nailed what has happen to Sandler perfectly. Sandler knows his movies are shit, but they're paying the bills and I'm sure he takes a huge pay cheque for each film.
I thought Judd Apatow's movie, This is 40, nailed what has happen to Sandler perfectly. Sandler knows his movies are shit, but they're paying the bills and I'm sure he takes a huge pay cheque for each film.
9:40AM on 05/23/2014
Aren't you referring to Funny People, not This Is 40? This Is 40 had nothing to do with Sandler.
Aren't you referring to Funny People, not This Is 40? This Is 40 had nothing to do with Sandler.
1:43PM on 05/23/2014
ah my bad, yes, Funny People
ah my bad, yes, Funny People
6:37AM on 05/23/2014
Is he capable of being in anything good anymore?
Is he capable of being in anything good anymore?
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6:20AM on 05/23/2014

"Can't wait to see Blended this weekend!"

Said no one ever.
Said no one ever.
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4:40AM on 05/23/2014
The trailer for it was on before Neighbors, all that was missing was a tumbleweed going past the screen. The almost full theater, including myself, just stared in disbelief at it.
The trailer for it was on before Neighbors, all that was missing was a tumbleweed going past the screen. The almost full theater, including myself, just stared in disbelief at it.
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3:09AM on 05/23/2014
Cripes on a cracker, I thought the Grown-Ups movies and Just Go With It were shameless with their "Adam Sandler and pals take a paid vacation and leave the camera on" premise but this is just nauseating.
Cripes on a cracker, I thought the Grown-Ups movies and Just Go With It were shameless with their "Adam Sandler and pals take a paid vacation and leave the camera on" premise but this is just nauseating.
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+2
9:26AM on 05/23/2014
Can't agree that he's making the exact same movies. I think Billy Madison and happy Gilmore and bits of a couple others (big daddy, waterboy) is legit funny, not just funny for teens. I get your general point tho
Can't believe the title of this, and that it's going against xmen and a week after godzilla. Really banking on the female audience
Can't agree that he's making the exact same movies. I think Billy Madison and happy Gilmore and bits of a couple others (big daddy, waterboy) is legit funny, not just funny for teens. I get your general point tho
Can't believe the title of this, and that it's going against xmen and a week after godzilla. Really banking on the female audience
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9:30AM on 05/23/2014
Is=are
Is=are
+2
9:25AM on 05/23/2014
Well I'll admit I was hopeful but only because the only Sandler movies I've seen that I haven't hated were the two he's made with Drew. I love The Wedding Singer and 50 First Dates is cute. I'm sad but not surprised to read this. I was really hoping to hear good things but I'm certainly not bothering now and I know how bad he can be so I'm not second guessing your review. Thank you for your review.
Well I'll admit I was hopeful but only because the only Sandler movies I've seen that I haven't hated were the two he's made with Drew. I love The Wedding Singer and 50 First Dates is cute. I'm sad but not surprised to read this. I was really hoping to hear good things but I'm certainly not bothering now and I know how bad he can be so I'm not second guessing your review. Thank you for your review.
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8:56AM on 05/23/2014
Pretty much what I expected - below 5.
Pretty much what I expected - below 5.
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8:41AM on 05/23/2014

Sandler

Makes movies for teenagers since he started making movies. Doesn't seem interested in keeping a loyal fan base as his audience, just continues to make movies for each generation of teenagers. For this I can not blame him
Makes movies for teenagers since he started making movies. Doesn't seem interested in keeping a loyal fan base as his audience, just continues to make movies for each generation of teenagers. For this I can not blame him
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8:38AM on 05/23/2014
Bumbray earned his paycheck having to sit through a Sandler movie.
Bumbray earned his paycheck having to sit through a Sandler movie.
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9:31AM on 05/23/2014

good/bad news

Went to see midnight showing of xmen last night, before the film began went to see how many people went to see blended at the same time. Not a single person in the theater. This made my night.

Downside to this is the films budget is only 40 mill (which is odd for sandler movies- jack and jill was 80 mill as i recall) so even if xmen/godzilla/a flaming terd manage to destroy it this weekend, chances are enough morons will see it so it will profit. Really hope im wrong but chances are
Went to see midnight showing of xmen last night, before the film began went to see how many people went to see blended at the same time. Not a single person in the theater. This made my night.

Downside to this is the films budget is only 40 mill (which is odd for sandler movies- jack and jill was 80 mill as i recall) so even if xmen/godzilla/a flaming terd manage to destroy it this weekend, chances are enough morons will see it so it will profit. Really hope im wrong but chances are unlikely.

Fuck these awful movies
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9:36AM on 05/23/2014
Well, give Sandler some credit for finally taking a pay cut.
Well, give Sandler some credit for finally taking a pay cut.
4:38PM on 05/23/2014
I doubt he took a pay cut. I'm sure many others did though!
I doubt he took a pay cut. I'm sure many others did though!
4:38PM on 05/23/2014
I doubt he took a pay cut. I'm sure many others did though!
I doubt he took a pay cut. I'm sure many others did though!
4:38PM on 05/23/2014
I doubt he took a pay cut. I'm sure many others did though!
I doubt he took a pay cut. I'm sure many others did though!
8:39PM on 05/23/2014
Yea cuz Adam sandler has always been a midnight screening draw right? I don't think his films ever counted as a "midnight screening event" they only release big budget blockbusters midnight the night b4
Yea cuz Adam sandler has always been a midnight screening draw right? I don't think his films ever counted as a "midnight screening event" they only release big budget blockbusters midnight the night b4
12:23AM on 05/24/2014
every week in summer there's a new big movie that's coming out and has a 10 PM/ Midnight showing the night before opening day. Any wide release film pulls this, and regardless, whether or not you're a draw, nobody showing up to your early releases is pretty fucking awful.
every week in summer there's a new big movie that's coming out and has a 10 PM/ Midnight showing the night before opening day. Any wide release film pulls this, and regardless, whether or not you're a draw, nobody showing up to your early releases is pretty fucking awful.
3:04AM on 05/24/2014
The last funny movie Adam Sandler did was Anger Management, and most of the laughs came from Jack Nicholson. He should make a comeback with a Happy Gilmore 2 but ONLY if it's almost as funny as the original.
The last funny movie Adam Sandler did was Anger Management, and most of the laughs came from Jack Nicholson. He should make a comeback with a Happy Gilmore 2 but ONLY if it's almost as funny as the original.
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6:46PM on 05/23/2014
I`m gonna get abused for this but Adam Sandler has basically since 2005 had a movie gross over $100 million every year.What other movie star can say they have that type of box office clout.Yes his humour is juvenile and he plays the same man child every movie but it works and if it aint broke don`t fix.He is a good actor ,see punch drunk love for proof,how did he not get a Oscar nod,may`be because his man child image is all critics see in him no matter what he does.
I`m gonna get abused for this but Adam Sandler has basically since 2005 had a movie gross over $100 million every year.What other movie star can say they have that type of box office clout.Yes his humour is juvenile and he plays the same man child every movie but it works and if it aint broke don`t fix.He is a good actor ,see punch drunk love for proof,how did he not get a Oscar nod,may`be because his man child image is all critics see in him no matter what he does.
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7:23PM on 05/23/2014
He didn't get an oscar nod because he really wasn't good in PDL either! So Adam sandler plays some depressing character, and actually talks without screaming or making retard noises and you want to give him an oscar nom for it? He is a joke! And idk where u get yer #'s from. He has had more box office flops than he's had hits. Period! He never should have pulled out of inglourious basterds! The Donnie Donawitz role could have gotten him an oscar nod! I'm sure the part wouldn't have been cut as
He didn't get an oscar nod because he really wasn't good in PDL either! So Adam sandler plays some depressing character, and actually talks without screaming or making retard noises and you want to give him an oscar nom for it? He is a joke! And idk where u get yer #'s from. He has had more box office flops than he's had hits. Period! He never should have pulled out of inglourious basterds! The Donnie Donawitz role could have gotten him an oscar nod! I'm sure the part wouldn't have been cut as much. Adam sandler could have crushed that over Eli Roth's poor acting.
8:20PM on 05/23/2014
He is a joke,a funny joke that makes money at the box office most of the time.Hell ,you can`t hit a home run every time you step up to bat.
Where do i get my facts from,err the internet.
[link]tab=summary
[link]
[link]sandler
And so on and so on.
People just don`t like Adam Sandler but you can`t deny that most of the time his movies are a sure bet.
He is a joke,a funny joke that makes money at the box office most of the time.Hell ,you can`t hit a home run every time you step up to bat.
Where do i get my facts from,err the internet.
[link]tab=summary
[link]
[link]sandler
And so on and so on.
People just don`t like Adam Sandler but you can`t deny that most of the time his movies are a sure bet.
8:30PM on 05/23/2014
8:37PM on 05/23/2014
So if you add up all the box office numbers from all the flops he's done in the last decade he's box office gold? This is the beginning of the end for you're boy Adam sandler! Unless he has some career deifying moment or lands a major role with a major director. The only reason his earlier flops made a ton of money is because he was coming off a hot streak b4 his downward spiral! Just because these movies made a little money doesn't make them good films or him a good actor! If the main
So if you add up all the box office numbers from all the flops he's done in the last decade he's box office gold? This is the beginning of the end for you're boy Adam sandler! Unless he has some career deifying moment or lands a major role with a major director. The only reason his earlier flops made a ton of money is because he was coming off a hot streak b4 his downward spiral! Just because these movies made a little money doesn't make them good films or him a good actor! If the main character doesn't wear a ball cap, a tee shirt that's 3 sizes to big and wears sweatpants then he won't take the role! Dude wants literally roles out of bed and goes right to filming. #playedOut
8:51PM on 05/23/2014
His comedies aren`t good but at least when you go into a Sandler movie you know what you`re gonna get.Man child,Screaming, and he wears a shirt two sizes to big for him(i know!).Since 2011 ,jack and Jill ,i guess his fans have cottoned on to his playing the same character in every movie routine but i`m sure his career will survive for years to come.Its like buying a can of coke or bbq dorito`s watching a adam sandler movie because you know what you`re gonna get but theres nothing wrong with
His comedies aren`t good but at least when you go into a Sandler movie you know what you`re gonna get.Man child,Screaming, and he wears a shirt two sizes to big for him(i know!).Since 2011 ,jack and Jill ,i guess his fans have cottoned on to his playing the same character in every movie routine but i`m sure his career will survive for years to come.Its like buying a can of coke or bbq dorito`s watching a adam sandler movie because you know what you`re gonna get but theres nothing wrong with that.
8:57PM on 05/23/2014
It'll survive alright! In straight to DVD films. That's the path he's heading down. Grown ups 2 was a flop,this film is by far a flop and has no chance going up against xmen and godzilla. This will be on DVD by August. Ppl are on to him now. They're just not showing up for him like they use to. I like sandler I just wish he'd change it up and try something new. Prove he can act. He is the new Eddie Murphy.
It'll survive alright! In straight to DVD films. That's the path he's heading down. Grown ups 2 was a flop,this film is by far a flop and has no chance going up against xmen and godzilla. This will be on DVD by August. Ppl are on to him now. They're just not showing up for him like they use to. I like sandler I just wish he'd change it up and try something new. Prove he can act. He is the new Eddie Murphy.
9:22PM on 05/23/2014
I like Sandler but i don`t watch his movies at the cinema,$15 opposed to $9 on dvd.You`re not going to change my mind and i`m not going to change yours .I`ve already fixed my bayonet and gone over the trench to defend Sandler,no going back lol.This movie will open at number 3 after X men and Godzilla.I think if Sandler keeps his budgets low on movies he`ll be okay career wise.Boxoffice mojo says that`s my boy budget was $70 million which is waaay too much for A:a comedy and B: a movie about
I like Sandler but i don`t watch his movies at the cinema,$15 opposed to $9 on dvd.You`re not going to change my mind and i`m not going to change yours .I`ve already fixed my bayonet and gone over the trench to defend Sandler,no going back lol.This movie will open at number 3 after X men and Godzilla.I think if Sandler keeps his budgets low on movies he`ll be okay career wise.Boxoffice mojo says that`s my boy budget was $70 million which is waaay too much for A:a comedy and B: a movie about that subject matter and his man child routine epsically at his age isn`t $70 million budget movie material.Good sparring with you Jhowington32.
9:28PM on 05/23/2014
I doubt it'll even open at 3... More like 8,9, or 10 if it's lucky. Good sparing with you too! Have a great weekend!
I doubt it'll even open at 3... More like 8,9, or 10 if it's lucky. Good sparing with you too! Have a great weekend!
12:29AM on 05/24/2014
long story short, queen bee, you're right. What sandler does is awful, but he continues to make money off of it much to the dismay of anyone who thinks comedies should actually try. But there is an audience for his awful rom-coms that love his shit.

Jhowington what are you talking about? Grown ups 2 made over 100 million, same w/ just go with it, bedtime stories, and grown ups 1. Hell even jack and jill managed to break over 70 million. Granted we got lucky with that's my boy flopping
long story short, queen bee, you're right. What sandler does is awful, but he continues to make money off of it much to the dismay of anyone who thinks comedies should actually try. But there is an audience for his awful rom-coms that love his shit.

Jhowington what are you talking about? Grown ups 2 made over 100 million, same w/ just go with it, bedtime stories, and grown ups 1. Hell even jack and jill managed to break over 70 million. Granted we got lucky with that's my boy flopping horribly, but regardless of what we may think, Sandler's films are gonna be around for a while. Best thing you can do is pretend they don't exist.
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