Latest Movie News Headlines

Review: Breaking Dawn (Part 2)

Nov. 16, 2012by: Chris Bumbray

PLOT: THE TWILIGHT SAGA comes to a merciful end with this, the conclusion to BREAKING DAWN. After being turned into a vampire while giving birth to Renesmee, Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) find themselves forced into a showdown with the Volturi when a rumour spreads that they've turned a child into a vampire- which is strictly forbidden. Meanwhile, Jacob (Taylor Lautner) sulks, gets his shirt off, and moons over the Cullen's infant daughter. Creeeeepy.

REVIEW: OK, so I've probably already infuriated Twi-hards just from my plot description, but I don't think I'm wrong in seeing JoBlo.com as a bit of a safe heaven for those, like myself and probably many of you, who don't quite understand the appeal of this multi-billion dollar franchise. I've reviewed most of the other films for the site, and without exception I've hated them all, but believe it or not I actually hoped BREAKING DAWN: PART 2 would break the run of crap, as I'm a big fan of the director- Bill Condon. I was puzzled as to why he signed on to the films (well, other than the paycheck) and while PART 1 of BREAKING DAWN was probably the worst instalment of the series yet, I held out hope at least he might make the conclusion a little interesting. Yeah, not so much...

Like the last film, BREAKING DAWN: PART 2 takes forever and a day to get going. Literally an hour goes by with virtually nothing but exposition. It seems like Condon, working from a script by Melissa Rosenberg, was trying to be slavishly faithful to Stephanie Meyer's book to appease the fans, but the result is a film that moves at a snail's pace, just like the last one. In keeping with the other films, the performances by the core cast are one-note, with Kristen Stewart, despite now playing a vampire, still mooning over Edward as his virtual love slave. Outside of TWILIGHT, Stewart is fine, but whenever I see her in these she seems bored, and this is no exception. Meanwhile, Taylor Lautner is barely in this one, mostly due to his being a CGI wolf for the entire third act, although he does manage to get his shirt off once (cue screams from the teenage girls in the audience). Of the three, the only one who seems to be having a bit of fun in his final go-round in the saga is actually Pattinson, who for once does relatively little brooding, and actually cracks a smile here and there. Go figure!

Michael Sheen and Dakota Fanning are around to camp it up a bit as the Volturi, but Sheen is particularly- almost hideously, over the top here, making his bit part in TRON: LEGACY seem like the model of restraint. As the Cullens spend a lot of time assembling vampires from around the world, a few new actors join the franchise, with Lee Pace bringing some much needed charisma to the saga as Revolutionary War vet- turned rock-star looking vampire. Everyone else- well, they look hot (especially Ashley Greene). That's it.

Of course, being a TWILIGHT film, and despite the fact that they've grossed billions, Summit Films still seems to be penny-pinching, with the customarily awful CGI making a comeback. The CGI wolves look as bad as ever (at least they don't argue in voice-over this time). Still, they look incredible compared to poor Renesmee, who's rendered as a hilariously fake looking CGI baby in the first half, and then- once she's played by Mackenzie Foy, is given, for some odd reason a CGI facelift that makes her look like one of the kids from THE POLAR EXPRESS. And, like the others, expect montage after montage set to a hipster pop soundtrack.

(MINOR SPOILER AHEAD)

Now, to be fair to Condon and co., they do make one (apparent) departure from the novel by staging a big battle royale with the Volturi- which, for a good ten minutes or so actually made me think that maybe Condon and Rosenberg were in fact on to something. For the first time ever in the saga, I was actually enjoying myself, and even surprised once a few beloved characters started biting the dust in fairly gruesome (for PG-13) fashion. However, the trick that Condon and Rosenberg use to make this twist OK with the Twi-hards is beyond trite, and utterly spoils any momentum to film had going for itself, making a bad movie all that much worse.

Suffice to say, I'm thrilled that THE TWILIGHT SAGA has finally come to an end, but then again, is a reboot far behind? God forbid, but as long as these films keep printing cash I'm sure someone, somewhere will be back to exploit the franchise. To the Twi-hards, if you loved the other films, don't be too angry with me. Chances are- you'll like this one too. So go ahead, enjoy it. As for me- thank God it's over! FREEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!!

Extra Tidbit: No Anna Kendrick in this one, although Wendell Pierce (THE WIRE) of all people shows up. I almost screamed out "no Bunk, NO!!!"
Source: JoBlo.com

MORE FUN FROM AROUND THE WEB

Strikeback
Not registered? Sign-up!
Or

+25
11:45AM on 11/16/2012
My brother's girlfriend waited in line four hours to see this. I think she's retarded.
My brother's girlfriend waited in line four hours to see this. I think she's retarded.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
+23
1:42AM on 11/16/2012
A review of these films anywhere on the web is pointless. If it's on a Twilight fan site, it'll get reviewed as far better than it is, anywhere else, far worse. There is simply too much bone head stupid hate/love on both sides for these films to be fairly reviewed by anyone.

...and just so we're clear, by fair, I mean unbiased.
A review of these films anywhere on the web is pointless. If it's on a Twilight fan site, it'll get reviewed as far better than it is, anywhere else, far worse. There is simply too much bone head stupid hate/love on both sides for these films to be fairly reviewed by anyone.

...and just so we're clear, by fair, I mean unbiased.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
+17
8:06PM on 11/16/2012
A 2 seems a bit high. I think you were being generous yes?
A 2 seems a bit high. I think you were being generous yes?
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
12:35PM on 11/16/2012
Holy shit you actually watched this. Wow
Holy shit you actually watched this. Wow
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
+12
2:07AM on 11/16/2012
Expected and deserved. It's fairly obvious these films are not loved for the filmmaking quality. That said, I really hope this series is laid to rest. I get the money angle, but after, what? 5 films? Yeah, time to end it. Money is one thing, but it's time let this die.
Expected and deserved. It's fairly obvious these films are not loved for the filmmaking quality. That said, I really hope this series is laid to rest. I get the money angle, but after, what? 5 films? Yeah, time to end it. Money is one thing, but it's time let this die.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
+11
10:42AM on 11/16/2012
I usually envy the film reviewer. Getting to watch and review films for living is a sweet gig. I do not feel tha way today. My condolences, sir.
I usually envy the film reviewer. Getting to watch and review films for living is a sweet gig. I do not feel tha way today. My condolences, sir.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
+10
6:31AM on 11/16/2012
Finally, it's all over.
Finally, it's all over.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
+10
5:36AM on 11/16/2012
Today is all ends...finallyyyy
Today is all ends...finallyyyy
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
5:46AM on 11/16/2012
Great review Chris, pretty much what I expected.
Great review Chris, pretty much what I expected.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
4:00PM on 11/16/2012

POSSIBLE SPOILER

The big battle at the end of the film is actually the best part of if... Of the WHOLE Bouzelight cinematic saga... And it's NOT from the book...
THAT ALONE says a LOT of about Stephenie Meyer's writing talent (or lack of): the best part of the movies inspired from her books is NOT from the book !!!
HAHAHAHA !
The big battle at the end of the film is actually the best part of if... Of the WHOLE Bouzelight cinematic saga... And it's NOT from the book...
THAT ALONE says a LOT of about Stephenie Meyer's writing talent (or lack of): the best part of the movies inspired from her books is NOT from the book !!!
HAHAHAHA !
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
2:12PM on 11/16/2012
Bumbray you are consistently my favorite "critic" (schmoes are schmoes to me haha) I always look forward to your take on all the movies I am anticipating these days and almost 100% of the time we are eye to eye taste wise...this fucking review made me laugh so hard I woke up my neighbors dog. After all the "hype" this is getting as "so bad it's good" I am glad to see someone sticking to their laurels where- "No.. this is just so bad it's terrible."

I always wish I had a hundred more critics
Bumbray you are consistently my favorite "critic" (schmoes are schmoes to me haha) I always look forward to your take on all the movies I am anticipating these days and almost 100% of the time we are eye to eye taste wise...this fucking review made me laugh so hard I woke up my neighbors dog. After all the "hype" this is getting as "so bad it's good" I am glad to see someone sticking to their laurels where- "No.. this is just so bad it's terrible."

I always wish I had a hundred more critics like you, and the rest of the JoBlo team to read, but I especially wish that on Twilight release days. Thanks for that.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
11:37AM on 11/16/2012
HOOOORAYYYYYYYYYY, we are free, FREEEE!!!!
HOOOORAYYYYYYYYYY, we are free, FREEEE!!!!
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
+6
5:19AM on 11/16/2012
I've only seen one of the movies...the first one...and a few minutes of another movie...not sure which one but it was the one where the girl is apparently in a race against time to save the vampire guy who suddenly sparkles (I remember thinking WTF is going on here). Now before I make my point, you only have to read a sample of my previous posts to know that I'm easily pleased and enjoy a lot of movies that others appear to hate...and don't understand why people feel the need to always hate
I've only seen one of the movies...the first one...and a few minutes of another movie...not sure which one but it was the one where the girl is apparently in a race against time to save the vampire guy who suddenly sparkles (I remember thinking WTF is going on here). Now before I make my point, you only have to read a sample of my previous posts to know that I'm easily pleased and enjoy a lot of movies that others appear to hate...and don't understand why people feel the need to always hate (whether it be anything done by Bay or starring Cage or the look of something such as the lizard or the new Robocop) but yes, having seen what I've seen so far of Twilight, I can understand the hatred it gets ;o) That said, people like me have our Matrix, Star Wars, Resident Evil movies...so why not let others have movie franchises we think suck but they absolutely adore without always having to go on about how much we hate said franchise? What is wrong with making your point and just moving on?
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
7:30PM on 11/18/2012
Well said, and thank you.
Well said, and thank you.
+3
2:30PM on 11/17/2012
I've never read the books and I've never seen any of the films and with a review like that I'm kinda glad.
I've never read the books and I've never seen any of the films and with a review like that I'm kinda glad.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
+3
12:10PM on 11/16/2012

that first pic

Hey, i didn't know Sidney Crosby was in this movie!
Hey, i didn't know Sidney Crosby was in this movie!
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
2:12PM on 11/16/2012
Haha. Holy shit, that guy does look like Crosby.
Haha. Holy shit, that guy does look like Crosby.
8:32PM on 11/16/2012
can i get an amen?!
can i get an amen?!
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
7:28AM on 11/16/2012

Yaaaay no more twilight shit

Twilight is over, HP is over!! No more news of shitty teenage girl movie series lasting 5 movies! I blame this shit for making being bipolar, emo and depressed a cool way to act. Aren't there any good books that can be turned into movies that don't make kids want to act retarded?
Twilight is over, HP is over!! No more news of shitty teenage girl movie series lasting 5 movies! I blame this shit for making being bipolar, emo and depressed a cool way to act. Aren't there any good books that can be turned into movies that don't make kids want to act retarded?
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
12:07AM on 11/19/2012

Irony

It's ironic that they tried to remain so faithful to the final book, since that was the one I remember all the Twihards bitching about being rubbish back when it was published. Of course...they still bought it, and they still went to see this, so maybe they have no idea what they like in the first place. Which would explain why they'd even watch Twilight, now that I think of it
It's ironic that they tried to remain so faithful to the final book, since that was the one I remember all the Twihards bitching about being rubbish back when it was published. Of course...they still bought it, and they still went to see this, so maybe they have no idea what they like in the first place. Which would explain why they'd even watch Twilight, now that I think of it
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
8:32PM on 11/18/2012
People expect something other than a fantasy movie, and they're disappointed. Leave logic at home and get lost. It is it what it is. This makes me want to watch it.
People expect something other than a fantasy movie, and they're disappointed. Leave logic at home and get lost. It is it what it is. This makes me want to watch it.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
10:05PM on 11/16/2012
What were expecting? An Oscar tour de force?
What were expecting? An Oscar tour de force?
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
8:33PM on 11/16/2012
can i get an amen?!
can i get an amen?!
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
8:33PM on 11/16/2012
can i get an amen?!
can i get an amen?!
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
4:28PM on 11/16/2012

LMFAO I love your reviews...

I FUCKIN HATE THESE MOVIES.... i saw the first one cus this girl wanted to see the new moon one after that I gave up. First twilight wasn't to bad it was decent, but after that it was a joke. I'll watch them all on netflix to make fun of them. but your reviews always make me LOL so hard. Does edward at least die or that dumb bitch ????
I FUCKIN HATE THESE MOVIES.... i saw the first one cus this girl wanted to see the new moon one after that I gave up. First twilight wasn't to bad it was decent, but after that it was a joke. I'll watch them all on netflix to make fun of them. but your reviews always make me LOL so hard. Does edward at least die or that dumb bitch ????
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
-6
10:38PM on 11/16/2012
As for the "twist" you mention in the battle, it's no twist but right out of the book. Condon was even more slavish to the book it seems. The twist should have been real, not fake.
As for the "twist" you mention in the battle, it's no twist but right out of the book. Condon was even more slavish to the book it seems. The twist should have been real, not fake.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
6:20PM on 11/18/2012
Twist was not out of the book.
Twist was not out of the book.
-15
3:13AM on 11/16/2012
While I think most Joblos don't care about this film, I have to point out to you that in the second to last paragraph you have a MAJOR SPOILER and it should be labelled as such.
While I think most Joblos don't care about this film, I have to point out to you that in the second to last paragraph you have a MAJOR SPOILER and it should be labelled as such.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
7:31PM on 11/18/2012
Did not know pointing out a spoiler could get so much hate. Wow, guys.
Did not know pointing out a spoiler could get so much hate. Wow, guys.
View All Comments

Latest Movie News Headlines


Top
Loading...
JoBlo's T-Shirt Shoppe | support our site... Wear Our Gear!