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Review: The Gallows

The Gallows
07.10.2015
1 10
 
 

PLOT: Twenty years after a disastrous high school production of ‘The Gallows’ resulted in the accidental death of a student, the drama club tries to re-stage the play. When some of the new kids involved with the play sneak into school the night before, they fall prey to a deadly presence linked to the original, deadly production.

REVIEW: Ugh – just when you thought the found footage genre couldn’t get any worse, here comes THE GALLOWS. The fact that this is getting a wide theatrical release courtesy of Warner Bros speaks to how low our horror standards have gotten. Not only does this “el cheapo” Blumhouse Production lack any actual production value, but with only the barest semblance of a plot and some truly abysmal acting this ranks as perhaps one of the worst horror movies I’ve ever seen – and I’ve seen plenty!

 

To start with, THE GALLOWS sports the most obnoxious cast of teens I’ve ever seen in a horror flick. To say you’ll be rooting for these kids (all of whom use their real names on-screen) to get killed is an understatement. Maybe writer-directors Travis Cluff & Chris Lofing were trying to make this a horror version of Glee? As such they pretty much lifted their two main characters right out of the show with sensitive jock hero Reese and theater diva Pfeifer being Cory Monteith and Lea Michele clones. Of course there’s also the hot mean girl (Cassidy Gifford – daughter of Kathie Lee and the only one who gets a different last name for her character) but worse – much MUCH worse – is Ryan Shoos, our videographer.

 

Now, I hesitate to blame this guy (or in fact any of the teens) too much as he likely had nothing to work with. But the directors really should have gotten him to pull back on the overacting as his performance is so grating and overwrought that it’s like he watched Seann William Scott as Stifler in AMERICAN PIE and tried to do the same thing only ramped up to eleven. It’s not pretty and given that the guy pretty much provides a running commentary as he films there’s very little relief. Again though, I hesitate to blame him too much. Nobody could have done much with material that’s this thin.

Ultimately, it’s not the amateur-hour production that sinks THE GALLOWS. No, it’s the fact that the filmmakers aren’t able to wring even one true scare out of the eighty-minute run time that spells its doom. I can deal with a weak horror flick as long as it has some fun scares. This has none, not even for the PG-13 audience that turns out to see these in droves (but seemingly always hates them with the low cinemascore). All the scares are cheap, meaning pop-outs, manipulated sounds, and worse. The only screams you’ll hear in the theater are from the people on-screen. I’d wager the only thing truly frightening about THE GALLOWS is that people are actually going to pony up the full ticket price at a theater to see this nonsense.

Source: JoBlo.com

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6:33PM on 07/10/2015
This review makes sense as the movie used the cliched audience reactions in the previews but looked very weak even for an R rating. The only good thing was use of the cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit. I'm sure this will still make a decent amount of moment as people do fall for those reaction trailers.
This review makes sense as the movie used the cliched audience reactions in the previews but looked very weak even for an R rating. The only good thing was use of the cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit. I'm sure this will still make a decent amount of moment as people do fall for those reaction trailers.
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5:20PM on 07/10/2015
I'm glad this garbage finally came out, so I don't have keep seeing that sweaty crying bitch Cassidy getting dragged away in every commercial for the piece of dog turd.
I'm glad this garbage finally came out, so I don't have keep seeing that sweaty crying bitch Cassidy getting dragged away in every commercial for the piece of dog turd.
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4:17PM on 07/10/2015

I can't stand how HARD they are pushing this thing

It has been a trailer before every movie out there, the tv clips show on tv every commercial break and I don't hear a single person saying "Oh man, I have to see that". Even when I saw Insidious 3 and it was just a bunch of teenage girls in the audience beside my wife and myself, they all shouted how horrible it looked.
It has been a trailer before every movie out there, the tv clips show on tv every commercial break and I don't hear a single person saying "Oh man, I have to see that". Even when I saw Insidious 3 and it was just a bunch of teenage girls in the audience beside my wife and myself, they all shouted how horrible it looked.
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12:05PM on 07/10/2015
I'm guessing from the trailer that everybody got dragged into the shadow, running around, camera tilting with no obvious reasons. Not my kind of thing.
I'm guessing from the trailer that everybody got dragged into the shadow, running around, camera tilting with no obvious reasons. Not my kind of thing.
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9:41AM on 07/10/2015

What's really irritating...

Is that they're hyping this thing up to be some sort f horror event. That trailer claiming it would have the next Freddy or Jason. The one with all those teens looking like thier actually excited to see it.

I'll wait for Sinister 2.
Is that they're hyping this thing up to be some sort f horror event. That trailer claiming it would have the next Freddy or Jason. The one with all those teens looking like thier actually excited to see it.

I'll wait for Sinister 2.
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9:34AM on 07/10/2015
Let me guess.....they all die by the time the film is over?
Let me guess.....they all die by the time the film is over?
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6:41AM on 07/10/2015
wow, that's got to be one of the most trashing reviews i've read. good on you chris for saving us all from this, taking the hit for the rest of us. i know i'm staying far away from this.
wow, that's got to be one of the most trashing reviews i've read. good on you chris for saving us all from this, taking the hit for the rest of us. i know i'm staying far away from this.
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3:16AM on 07/10/2015

No Shit Sherlock

This movie looked friggin' atrocious from the trailers. I have zero idea how any hype built up around this movie. It's budget is small and it'll no doubt have the youth lining up for the jump scares and shaky cam bullshit and they'll more than make their money back, which is a shame because more of this boring ass lame shit will come out.
This movie looked friggin' atrocious from the trailers. I have zero idea how any hype built up around this movie. It's budget is small and it'll no doubt have the youth lining up for the jump scares and shaky cam bullshit and they'll more than make their money back, which is a shame because more of this boring ass lame shit will come out.
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