R.I.P. Uwe Boll?

You know, I actually don’t hate Uwe Boll. I’m jealous that he’s making films and I’m not, but really, it doesn’t bother me that everything he churns out seems to be a massive piece of shit. If you don’t want to see his movies, just don’t see them – that’s my opinion. Now though, it appears Boll won’t even get the chance to make big budget films, since he told the Hollywood Reporter, “In the future, I will focus on small films such as (the video game adaptation) ‘Postal’ or (the Vietnam war drama) ‘Tunnel Rats’… These are films that represent my true passion, and they can be done with small budgets.” Is it a sad day? I don’t know. But I’m sure this won’t be the last we see of Boll, since he definitely dabbles in the occult and/or is friends with at least one magical leprechaun because I can’t come up with any other way he managed to seduce Jason Statham, Ray Liotta, Clare Forlani, Burt Reynolds, Ron Perlman or Leelee Sobieski into being in IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE. For Matthew Lillard, sure, actually a positive career move. but for the rest of them, it’s almost definitely either the leprechauns or at the very least some form of advanced Jedi mind-trick. “Because of the Boll reputation, it is not easy to get audiences into the cinemas,” said Mychael Berg, head of distribution at 20th Century Fox in Germany, which released KING locally. “We finally managed it, and we are quite satisfied with the abut 250,000 people who watched the movie (in Germany). We proved that you can make money with a Boll film.” Really? You proved you could avoid absolute financial annihilation, sure, but making money? That might be stretching it a little. Oh well, I for one am interested in seeing what Boll brings us next. It might be like how I’m interested in being kicked in the balls because I’m curious as to whether I could take it or not, but it’s interest nonetheless.