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Salma. Preggers. Sigh.

05.31.2007

This "story" would normally go up on our revamped MovieHotties.com sister site, but since we're still about a week or so away from that launch, I figured I'd write it up here, especially since a schmoe sent me this pic below and you all know about my particular "interest" in Salma Hayek. Well, as much as I wanted to believe that the news of her marrying a rich French guy and being pregnant was untrue, the picture below...well, does not lie. Now either Salma-sita has put on some extra weight for a role as Jake LaMotta's wife or she's friggin' pregnant...and then some!! I guess I can finally call off the dogs and give up on my journey to the land of Hayek.

Pretty soon she'll be a MILF and I'll be standing on the outside (moreso than now), looking in. Then again, maybe not. Maybe it's time to pass the baton on to younger Latina babes like Catalina Sandino Moreno or that chick from the GoDaddy.com commercials. I don't know. So confused. In a daze. Whatever the case, I'll be "big enough" of a man to admit defeat and surrender this battle. Wishing both Salma and her foreign husband a very happy, healthy child, of course. Salma, I trust you will return to form after all this hooplah (although admittedly, she's DAMN hot when she's fat/preggers as well!!), and we at JoBlo.com can continue to salivate over your every move. Here's looking at you, kid!

Extra Tidbit: I almost "made out" with Salma Hayek once. Well, okay...I ran into her at an airport, but it's almost the same thing. My sad adventure from that encounter here.
Source: JoBlo.com

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12:51AM on 06/02/2007

Don't Worry

She's not married yet, and her future husband is only 2 yrs older than her. She's marrying the son, not the son's father people.
She's not married yet, and her future husband is only 2 yrs older than her. She's marrying the son, not the son's father people.
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8:41AM on 06/01/2007

The Shirt

Is it me, or does her shirt read: "Stylish. Sexy. Pregnant."

????? hahah
Is it me, or does her shirt read: "Stylish. Sexy. Pregnant."

????? hahah
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1:49PM on 05/31/2007

Salma is so dissapointing

Salma one of the hottest chicks alive Impregnated by this ugly old lookin Billionaire. Why did she have to go the gold digging route?? Edward norton and Joblo look 100 times better and are way cooler than this guy. Having kids with a rich old fugly scarecrow secures her future since she unfortunately cant get the big checks for movie roles. I feel for you Jo. Id like someone to kidnap him and put him to sleep while you win the lotto jackpot and take her away!
Salma one of the hottest chicks alive Impregnated by this ugly old lookin Billionaire. Why did she have to go the gold digging route?? Edward norton and Joblo look 100 times better and are way cooler than this guy. Having kids with a rich old fugly scarecrow secures her future since she unfortunately cant get the big checks for movie roles. I feel for you Jo. Id like someone to kidnap him and put him to sleep while you win the lotto jackpot and take her away!
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1:44PM on 05/31/2007

And this...

...is why I love JoBlo.com! "Almost made out w/ Salma"! XD That's frickin' hilarious!
...is why I love JoBlo.com! "Almost made out w/ Salma"! XD That's frickin' hilarious!
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11:36AM on 05/31/2007

alternatives

Joblo, you can have my sister. Shes no Salma but shes no...um...Lohan either?
Joblo, you can have my sister. Shes no Salma but shes no...um...Lohan either?
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7:34AM on 05/31/2007

And now we come to a dead end

I'm sorry about the news, now there is a question of interest that comes to mind...What next woman will JoBlo seek after now???
I'm sorry about the news, now there is a question of interest that comes to mind...What next woman will JoBlo seek after now???
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5:49AM on 05/31/2007

Oh no...

It amuses me that this actually feels like a genuine milestone in the history of JoBlo.com... I feel for ya, buddy...
It amuses me that this actually feels like a genuine milestone in the history of JoBlo.com... I feel for ya, buddy...
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2:30AM on 05/31/2007

Now I know there is NO GOD!

I now know for sure I'm getting old, because I remember yesterday when she was Dancing w/a snake, and turning into a vampire, George Clooney was just some guy TV star acting in a movie w/that guy who directed that "Resevoir Dogs" movie, and Robert Rodriguez hadn't started directing kiddie movies yet. Man those were the days, and Salma was just a pretty lady dancin w/snakes draped around her beautiful body, and letting us see that body getting naked w/the voice of Puss n' Boots from "Shrek", in
I now know for sure I'm getting old, because I remember yesterday when she was Dancing w/a snake, and turning into a vampire, George Clooney was just some guy TV star acting in a movie w/that guy who directed that "Resevoir Dogs" movie, and Robert Rodriguez hadn't started directing kiddie movies yet. Man those were the days, and Salma was just a pretty lady dancin w/snakes draped around her beautiful body, and letting us see that body getting naked w/the voice of Puss n' Boots from "Shrek", in "Desparado."
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2:08AM on 05/31/2007

sorry JoBlo

but shes not gonna be the same.....on the pluss side. them mammeries got bigger from that lil fella in her belly!!!!
but shes not gonna be the same.....on the pluss side. them mammeries got bigger from that lil fella in her belly!!!!
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1:26AM on 05/31/2007

mummy, why do they call them "Sweater cows"?

I have nothing more to add except to get me past 50 characters.
I have nothing more to add except to get me past 50 characters.
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1:22AM on 05/31/2007

Damn Salma is hot!

Lose the beer gut and lets talk! I shall now read the article!
Lose the beer gut and lets talk! I shall now read the article!
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1:20AM on 05/31/2007

GoDaddy.com chick

The chick from GoDaddy.com is Candace Michelle of the WWE and she isn't latina. She is from Milwaukee and she is all mine! So ha!
The chick from GoDaddy.com is Candace Michelle of the WWE and she isn't latina. She is from Milwaukee and she is all mine! So ha!
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12:53AM on 05/31/2007

: (

A moment of silence for JoBlo's dream.
A moment of silence for JoBlo's dream.
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12:41AM on 05/31/2007

: (

I'm.... So... Sorry... : ( I'll Give You Time To Mourn
I'm.... So... Sorry... : ( I'll Give You Time To Mourn
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