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Silent Bob plays hockey

06.10.2009
100%

You ever drive three hours to watch somebody play street hockey? I have, and not just because I'm Canadian. Writer, director, Kevin Smith took his love of the sport and new found appreciation for everything Gretzky to Brantford, Ontario this past weekend to participate in the the 3rd Annual Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament. If you've ever listened to SModcast, Kevin's and long time producer, Scott Mosier's running podcast, you'd know that Mr. Smith has a special admiration for NHL legend Wayne Gretzky as a player, a leader, and overall dominant human being. This lead him to the discovery of Wayne's father's hockey tourney in the heart of Brantford, a hockey mecca, if only because Wayne was born there. The proceeds of the weekend will benefit the Brantford Sports Facilities Infrastructure Legacy Fund.

Kev brought some friends too. His own team (Puck U), for which he played goal, featured his wife, Jennifer Schwalbach, Mosier, independent film director Malcolm Ingram, and porn actress Katie Morgan. View Askew favourites Jason Mewes and Walt Flanagan were on the roster but didn't show up. Among the three other View Askew sponsored teams (the Leonardo Reapers, the Monroeville Zombies, and the Vulgarians) were members of ViewAskew.com's message boards. All teams were entered and paid for by Smith with the team with the most wins getting to take home some one-of-a-kind movie props from Kev's films (I believe the Vulgarians took this honour). Some highlights, including my favorite moment of the tournament which feature Kev facing off against his first penalty shot from the other goalie and some quality shit-talking before getting scored on:

  • Once Smith shook some nerves and got used to his brand new pads there was some inspired goaltending for Puck U. And sweat. There was a lot of sweat.
  • Mosier surprised the hell out of me. Here's a guy that talked himself down constantly during the prior SModcasts and ended up being Puck U's most valuable player.
  • Schwalbach ended up taking the hardest hit I saw all weekend. She just giggled and kept running in random directions.
  • Katie Morgan is the smallest women I've ever seen. And I saw a lot of her being offside.
  • Saw way too much of Malcolm's ass-crack. The guy played his heart out though.
  • After a first game ass-kicking, Kev recruited players from other View Askew teams to join Puck U. They were known as Sell-Outs the remainder of the tourney.
  • Kev was not shy with the F-bombs during the action (especially towards Dicicco). Also, when asked if he needed a beer by some random dude behind him, he replied "No, some weed. A giant bag of weed." Then he went flat out and made another spectacular save.
  • Random heckle from the stands after a weak goal on Kev - "That was worse than Jersey Girl!"

Other than the tournament, Kev also partook in the festivity's opening ceremonies, where he received a shitload of autographed Gretzky goods, an exhibition game on Sunday and a live SModcast with Mosier on Saturday night. He also confirmed with Brantford officials that he's going to be coming back every year to play. On a personal note, I just wanted to thank fellow JoBlo.com employee, Nick Bosworth, for all his help with the coverage and Kevin Smith for coming down to Canada during his packed schedule (he's actually in the middle of shooting A COUPLE OF DICKS right now in New York) and showing love for his fans like no other celebrity on Earth. And maybe helping to discover the next Gretzky. Now, on to the pictures:

Be sure to check out the next episode of the The JoBlo Movie Show for more footage (in glorious montage-vision) and tune into the The JoBlo Podcast to hear some of my thoughts of the weekend.

Extra Tidbit: Word on the street is there will be a JoBlo.com team in this bitch next year.
Source: JoBlo

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3:53PM on 06/10/2009
I grew up in Brantford. Despite having a population of about 90,000 it is the most dangerous city in Ontario, and is #2 in most sexual assaults in all of Canada. City council strategy to curb crime rates? More street lights.

Walter Gretzky is the nicest man in the world though. And good for Kevin Smith for showing the city a little love, cause it needs all the help it can get.
I grew up in Brantford. Despite having a population of about 90,000 it is the most dangerous city in Ontario, and is #2 in most sexual assaults in all of Canada. City council strategy to curb crime rates? More street lights.

Walter Gretzky is the nicest man in the world though. And good for Kevin Smith for showing the city a little love, cause it needs all the help it can get.
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1:38PM on 06/10/2009
That looked like a pretty sweet time! Good read!
That looked like a pretty sweet time! Good read!
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11:08AM on 06/10/2009

Totally in!

I reserve my spot on the team as well! I must outrun Mosier!
I reserve my spot on the team as well! I must outrun Mosier!
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9:47AM on 06/10/2009
I'm in, even though I don't know how to play. I do like beer though. Can we call it "Team JoBloMe"?
I'm in, even though I don't know how to play. I do like beer though. Can we call it "Team JoBloMe"?
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9:28AM on 06/10/2009

Looks like a blast!

Looks like it was great times Law! I'm so in next year in terms of the JoBlo.com team. I wanna score top shelf on Kevin so he can call me a cock knocker :)
Looks like it was great times Law! I'm so in next year in terms of the JoBlo.com team. I wanna score top shelf on Kevin so he can call me a cock knocker :)
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