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Sofia Vergara has chest cannons in this character poster for Machete Kills

Mar. 7, 2013by: Jesse Giroux

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I enjoyed MACHETE but there was something a little off about it. I can't put my finger on what exactly caused this feeling, but part of the reason may have been that we had seen most of the movie in the original trailer that was put in front of PLANET TERROR. I guess that's an issue you would run into if you do make a film based on a trailer. However, I think MACHETE KILLS could be the film that takes Danny Trejo's character from "cult hero" to "big screen legend".

Enough about that though, who wants to see some fully-armed funbags?

Sofia Vergara

This poster of Sofia Vergara as Desdemona was scanned from a print edition of Entertainment Weekly and was posted on Dread Central. (This picture has been replaced by the high-resolution image now available at EW.com) As you can clearly see, those do not look like they would be fun to motorboat. Visually it's about what you'd expect from director Robert Rodriguez and I have no complaints about that at all.

MACHETE KILLS is looking like it's going to kick things up a notch, with the stakes being higher and the casting being even more ridiculous than its predecessor. Besides Trejo and Vergara, Michelle Rodriguez, Amber Heard, Charlie Sheen, Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Jessica Alba, Demian Bichir, Alexa Vega, Vanessa Hudgens, Cuba Gooding Jr., Willian Sadler, Marko Zaror, and (last but not certainly least) Mel Gibson all star in the action exploitation film.

MACHETE KILLS in theaters on September 13, 2013.

Related Movie Posters
Machete Kills | Movie Posters Machete Kills 09 | Movie Posters Machete Kills 08 | Movie Posters Machete Kills 011 | Movie Posters Machete Kills 012 | Movie Posters
Extra Tidbit: I've heard Robert Rodriguez wants to do a trilogy and follow up with MACHETE KILLS AGAIN but I want to see MACHETE KILLS IN SPACE. If Jason, Pinhead, and the Leprechaun can all end up in outer space, why not the baddest Mexican in the world?

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7:39PM on 03/07/2013
I liked Machete & looking forward to Machete Kills, but be more original Mr. Rodriguez, Austin Powers & even Katy Perry have done the gun boobs before. Plus with all do respect I cannot take Sofia Vergara serious with that< oster & i find her very overrated to be honest.
I liked Machete & looking forward to Machete Kills, but be more original Mr. Rodriguez, Austin Powers & even Katy Perry have done the gun boobs before. Plus with all do respect I cannot take Sofia Vergara serious with that< oster & i find her very overrated to be honest.
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2:01AM on 03/08/2013
I also think she's overrated.
I also think she's overrated.
+3
6:21PM on 03/07/2013
Whether or not this movie will be crap (and I actually enjoyed the first Machete), this poster is awesome. It reminds of something out of one of those Japanese splatter films, like Machine Gun Girl or Tokyo Gore Police.
Whether or not this movie will be crap (and I actually enjoyed the first Machete), this poster is awesome. It reminds of something out of one of those Japanese splatter films, like Machine Gun Girl or Tokyo Gore Police.
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5:31PM on 03/07/2013
Just keeps looking better and better.

Either This or Kick-Ass 2 will be the movie of the year for me!
Just keeps looking better and better.

Either This or Kick-Ass 2 will be the movie of the year for me!
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+4
12:55PM on 03/07/2013

introducing...

.... the all new, fully armed fembot 2.0.
Get your new fembot in Caucasian, Ebony and the new Latina. Asian Fembots coming in August.
.... the all new, fully armed fembot 2.0.
Get your new fembot in Caucasian, Ebony and the new Latina. Asian Fembots coming in August.
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+0
12:45PM on 03/07/2013

Crap.

While I am certain to get thumbs-downed for it, as is nearly any criticism of any fanboy approved filmmaker on the internet, I think Robert Rodriguez is a shitty director that pumps out witless crap. Desperado and Sin City are ok films-- though the former was just a Mexican rip off of John Woo and the latter was essentially a scene by scene reconstruction of the comic-- but the rest of his filmography is total garbage. The original Machete is one of the dumbest movies I have ever seen.

I
While I am certain to get thumbs-downed for it, as is nearly any criticism of any fanboy approved filmmaker on the internet, I think Robert Rodriguez is a shitty director that pumps out witless crap. Desperado and Sin City are ok films-- though the former was just a Mexican rip off of John Woo and the latter was essentially a scene by scene reconstruction of the comic-- but the rest of his filmography is total garbage. The original Machete is one of the dumbest movies I have ever seen.

I guess he deserves some kudos for being able to film so cheap that he can film anything he dreams up, but the results just aren't that impressive.
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12:20PM on 03/07/2013
Totally reboobelous!
Totally reboobelous!
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+2
12:11PM on 03/07/2013

And yet, no matter how madly great that cast gets

William Sadler is the guy I'm looking forward to seeing the most.
William Sadler is the guy I'm looking forward to seeing the most.
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-4
12:09PM on 03/07/2013

good thing

this movie doesnt require good actresses or she would be out of a job
this movie doesnt require good actresses or she would be out of a job
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+3
11:49AM on 03/07/2013
I'm sorry but his movies have become a little too cheesy for me these days
I'm sorry but his movies have become a little too cheesy for me these days
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-4
11:34AM on 03/07/2013

RR has a pretty bad track record

Dusk til Dawn was good, Predators was good but probably due to him not directing and only producing - otherwise he has put out nothing but crap!
Dusk til Dawn was good, Predators was good but probably due to him not directing and only producing - otherwise he has put out nothing but crap!
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11:57AM on 03/07/2013
I hope you just forgot Desperado and Sin City and don't actually classify those as crap too.
I hope you just forgot Desperado and Sin City and don't actually classify those as crap too.
11:23AM on 03/07/2013

What was off w/ Machete

I felt the samething w/Machete. When looking back, maybe it was because the trailer was so over the top, and the beginning brought the same feel, nothing but gore, blood, and a girl pulling a gun out of her vag, we expected the whole film to be the same, which wasn't done. The dialogue and story were very hit and miss (still get a laugh from Machete don't text and every scene Steven Segal is in) but other than the beginning and the ending battle, nothing in the film was memorable at all. For a
I felt the samething w/Machete. When looking back, maybe it was because the trailer was so over the top, and the beginning brought the same feel, nothing but gore, blood, and a girl pulling a gun out of her vag, we expected the whole film to be the same, which wasn't done. The dialogue and story were very hit and miss (still get a laugh from Machete don't text and every scene Steven Segal is in) but other than the beginning and the ending battle, nothing in the film was memorable at all. For a grindhouse film, it was actually kinda boring. I'm hopin this one takes it up a few notches as well as bringin Machete into space. That would be AMAZING! Danny Trejo is awesome and funny as hell, the casting is amazing for this one and there's no doubt in my mind it's going to be 100 times better than the crappy action movies we've been given so far (Good Day to Die Hard)
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12:34PM on 03/07/2013
I think that is it. I was expecting it to be a lot more over the top throughout and it just wasn't. Segal was f*cking gold though.
I think that is it. I was expecting it to be a lot more over the top throughout and it just wasn't. Segal was f*cking gold though.
10:56AM on 03/07/2013
I'm so over the grindhouse movies. And the fact that the broad who talks like Charo from Modern Family is in this doesn't make me take it any more seirously. I may be in the minority here, but...PASSSSSS.
I'm so over the grindhouse movies. And the fact that the broad who talks like Charo from Modern Family is in this doesn't make me take it any more seirously. I may be in the minority here, but...PASSSSSS.
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11:00AM on 03/07/2013
Using the word "seirously" definitely puts you in some kind of minority....
Using the word "seirously" definitely puts you in some kind of minority....
10:49AM on 03/07/2013

Wow

This movie is going to be a casserole of blood, bullets and madness. I'm so in.
This movie is going to be a casserole of blood, bullets and madness. I'm so in.
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12:34PM on 03/07/2013
its ok we all have our own "guilty pleasures" or we can be a real douche and correct someones spelling on a web posting
its ok we all have our own "guilty pleasures" or we can be a real douche and correct someones spelling on a web posting
12:35PM on 03/07/2013
its ok we all have our "guilty pleasures", like correcting someones spelling on a web posting, like a real dbag!!!
its ok we all have our "guilty pleasures", like correcting someones spelling on a web posting, like a real dbag!!!
3:31PM on 03/07/2013
Hey man, if you're going to scrutinize, then you can't be above scrutiny.
Hey man, if you're going to scrutinize, then you can't be above scrutiny.
10:41AM on 03/07/2013

Cuba Gooding Jr?!

How had I not heard about his casting before?! I can't wait. On a side note, I'd love to see Benicio del Toro in Machete Kills Again (and not just because my avatar is him).
How had I not heard about his casting before?! I can't wait. On a side note, I'd love to see Benicio del Toro in Machete Kills Again (and not just because my avatar is him).
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10:40AM on 03/07/2013
What about Fembots?
What about Fembots?
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