Latest Movie News Headlines

Summer Lowdown!

Aug. 24, 2007by: Mike Sampson

Summer movies could be as simple as heading to the theater with your friends on a warm, humid night - eating popcorn, holding hands with your crush and going out for coffee at a diner afterwards. But that kind of Utopian nonsense ain't gonna fly here. We're turning the summer movie season into a competition. There's gonna be winners! And losers! There'll be cheers of joy and squeals of heartbreak. It'll be like gym class - but snarkier. So sit back, relax and get ready to over analyze this summer at the movies...

WINNER: Judd Apatow

The dude went from not being able to get a sitcom to stick (and on Fox no less!) to being an A-list director on just a few months. Most directors would kill to have the kind of success Apatow had with KNOCKED UP and SUPERBAD and he had them both in two months. Apatow is so in the forefront of the marketing campaign of SUPERBAD that most people probably had no idea he didnt direct the film and have no idea who did (Greg Mottola). Apatows on such a role hes working with Adam Sandler next (YOU DONT MESS WITH THE ZOHAN) and has meetings with Tom Cruise about a possible comedy. AND he's married to Leslie Mann.

LOSER: Anyone Who Went To See LICENSE TO WED

Your significant other went with you to see 300. This was your penance. Somehow it doesn't seem fair. Robin Williams. That annoying kid. The lack of any kind of anything even remotely smile-inducing. If you made it through this one without drooling like McMurphy at the end of CUCKOO'S NEST, life owes you one.

WINNER: Universal Pictures

Speaking of KNOCKED UP, Universal was wise enough to reunite with the aforementioned Apatow to make some serious coin on this comedy. $147 million so far off a film that only cost $30 million. It doubled its entire budget in its second week in theaters. And it was one of the best reviewed films of the year. Someone at NBC Uni deserves a bonus and it ain't Jack Donaghy.

LOSER: Universal Pictures

Uhh, not so fast. Before we start handing out lollipops, spending $175 million on EVAN ALMIGHTY wasnt a great idea, especially when some countries havent even heard of the guy starring in it. Spending that kind of cash on a comedy that's not particularly funny is an even worse idea.

WINNER: CLOVERFIELD Trailer

Internet hype. Its the kind of thing that made THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT and destroyed SNAKES ON A PLANE. JJ Abrams and Paramount probably had no idea the obsession theyd set off by premiering the nameless trailer before TRANSFORMERS. Fansites popped up overnight, other viral sites tried to hone in on the action (yes, Im talking to you Ethan Haas) and people talked about this 90-second clip more than most movies. What is CLOVERFIELD/1-18-08? Who knows? But not knowing is all the fun (and I was just glad to not see the HAIRSPRAY trailer again).

LOSER: Jazz (TRANSFORMERS)

Even in the movie world of giant, transforming robots, the black guy is the first to die

WINNER: RU!

OK maybe Im giving my alma mater a little favoritism but hey, after being the laughing stock of collegiate athletics for years allows you some time to celebrate the new-found glory. From the mentions of Rutgers in both LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD (where McClane is spying on his daughter) to the Rutgers hat Michael Moore sports in SICKO, Rutgers was slowly making its mark on Hollywood this summer. Plus they still make a bitchin Fat sandwich and for that, they earn a spot on my list any day.

LOSER: Comic Book Guy

He, and many of the non-animated fanboys just like him, wanted so badly to see THE SIMPSONS MOVIE and be able to say Worst. Movie. Ever. Sadly for them, not only wasnt THE SIMPSONS MOVIE the worst movie ever, it was actually pretty damn good. Not Season 4 good, but certainly much better than anything running on Fox lately. Now if only I could get that Spider-Pig song out of my head

WINNER: IRON MAN

While no one exactly pulled a 300 at the Comic-Con (though Moreno did have close to 300 drinks if that counts), IRON MAN certainly came close. While other panels were practically begging to have their clips shown again, the Con faithful couldn't get enough IRON in their systems.

LOSER: SPIDER-MAN Fans

I consider myself a pretty big Spider-Man fan and grew up reading the McFarlane era, which was highlighted by Venom. Getting to see him on screen shouldve been a big thrill but unfortunately I was forced to sit through the rest of SPIDER-MAN 3. Emo Peter Parker? Kirsten Dunst singing?? A Mysterio cameo??? No wait, that would've been cool. Sadly, SPIDER-MAN 3 was far from cool and a helluva sad way to end the trilogy.

WINNER: Wizard World Chicago

This mini-convention doesnt get half the press of its insanely larger cousin, the San Diego Comic-Con. But while Comic-Con attendees got a DARK KNIGHT scavenger hunt, Windy City residents got stars Batman himself Christian Bale and the first look at footage from the film. LUCKY.

WINNER: Brian Austin Green

Normally I'd be loathe to call this guy a winner under any circumstances but when that guy gets himself engaged to one of the hottest new actresses of the summer - Megan Fox - I guess he gets a nod. How one of the worst white rappers in history gets to hook up with the crazy sexy star of TRANSFORMERS is beyond me. But then again she is a little crazy so...

LOSER: STARDUST

How does a film that stars Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Claire Danes, Ricky Gervais and Sienna Miller do as badly as STARDUST did? It was written by Neil Gaiman! And got decent reviews! Somewhere along the line the marketing didn't translate and people didn't want to see a movie about fairies and gay pirates. I guess us Claire Danes fans only have this to enjoy this summer...

WINNER: Thomas Jane

Need I say more?

LOSER: Jason Lee

Hearing Jason Lee voice a talking, flying beagle in UNDERDOG was weird enough but then we were then subjected to the ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS trailer. A trailer that featured a chipmunk eating the poop of another chipmunk. Shit-eating chipmunks. Jason, we love ya buddy but in this new age of successful cinematic comedy, you're doing this?

WINNER: Men

While POWDER BLUE won't hit theaters until next year sometime, it already makes the 2007 list. Why? Because news broke this summer that Jessica Biel will star as a stripper in the film and unlike some other actresses we know (*cough*natalieportman*cough*), she's actually gonna take it all off. Can we handle this? There hasn't been this much excitement in the testicled community since Anne Hathaway whipped 'em out in HAVOC. Who's ready to start a camp out line like they had for the STAR WARS prequels?

WINNER: Jason Bourne

When Matt Damon's not busy playing a manimal, he's starring as the baddest bad-ass around. With all due respect to John McClane, Jack Bauer, James Bond and the real life Thomas Jane, Damon's Jason Bourne took the cake with an absolutely amazing end to the BOURNE trilogy. Finally a Part 3 that didn't suck this summer. Can we get Paul Greengrass to direct FANTASTIC FOUR 3?

Source: JoBlo.com

MORE FUN FROM AROUND THE WEB

Strikeback
Not registered? Sign-up!
Or

5:04PM on 08/24/2007

5 Paragraphs.

Broken Dreamer, next time try to use valid points to defend yourself instead of attacking me for expressing my opinion.

" The constant movement was more thrilling and exciting then the steady cam. Is that not what action movies are supposed to impress?"

As a member of the audience aren't I supposed to be thrilled by ACTUALLY seeing the scene on the screen? This whole notion to create suspense by shaky cam is really irritating.
I don't want to go to the theatre so I can see random fists
Broken Dreamer, next time try to use valid points to defend yourself instead of attacking me for expressing my opinion.

" The constant movement was more thrilling and exciting then the steady cam. Is that not what action movies are supposed to impress?"

As a member of the audience aren't I supposed to be thrilled by ACTUALLY seeing the scene on the screen? This whole notion to create suspense by shaky cam is really irritating.
I don't want to go to the theatre so I can see random fists flying in opposite directions and not knowing who's throwing which fist.

Perfect example: The fight scene in Batman Begins, where the caped crusader fight's those 4 henchmen. The scene takes place at night, and the audience is forced to see fists fly without being able to depict who's actually throwing it.

If I want to be nauseated I think I'd visit an amusement park, not the movie theatre.
Oh if you want to read something interesting:

[link]
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
3:56PM on 08/24/2007

A Different View, Which Will Be Declared Wrong!

I've had enough of all these shaky camera criticisms. You complain like your opinion actually decides the quality of the film. Since you don't like it, then that must mean that the director did a bad job and the movies suck, right? Seriously, we've heard it all before. Whenever someone expresses a positive review for The Bourne Ultimatum, someone has to respond with a shaky camera complaint. How original!

The truth is that your preference towards a style does not make the use of such
I've had enough of all these shaky camera criticisms. You complain like your opinion actually decides the quality of the film. Since you don't like it, then that must mean that the director did a bad job and the movies suck, right? Seriously, we've heard it all before. Whenever someone expresses a positive review for The Bourne Ultimatum, someone has to respond with a shaky camera complaint. How original!

The truth is that your preference towards a style does not make the use of such style a determiner of quality. Paul Greengrass went for a certain look and documentary like style and he accomplished it, whether you like it or not. Perhaps you prefer cookie cutter action movies instead of a movie that takes a different approach to action. But stop spreading this unoriginal complaint like it is the deciding factor for the movies quality.

Why don't you consider another opinion. I like the shaky camera. It added more intensity and the feeling of uncertainty actually increased the intensity. I did feel like I was inside this world and that it was real, like Greengrass wanted. In fact, after seeing Ultimatum, I was bored by the smooth and fluent action in Identity. It was too perfect and loss the grittiness of the sequels. The constant movement was more thrilling and exciting then the steady cam. Is that not what action movies are supposed to impress?

Sorry for the rant but I am tired of people who follow a popular opinion and feel obligated to spread it like its the only one that matters. Seriously, why can't someone have a good opinion without being shut down by the popular one. Or, maybe, its not more popular, just louder!

Oh, and one more thing before I am silent and am overwhelmed by the others who are going to oppose my view and again enforce the same redundant complaints: Please stop using these medical terms so flippantly. Its a movie, yet you use serious medical disorders to describe a camera movement. I know how bad epilepsy can be and this movie is a refreshing alternative.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
3:36PM on 08/24/2007

Bourne over McClane? What??!!

The Bourne movies may have been successful, but Jason Bourne is as plain and boring as a character in an action film could be.

I'll give my nod to Willis for this summer's most badass character, someone who actually has a personality.
The Bourne movies may have been successful, but Jason Bourne is as plain and boring as a character in an action film could be.

I'll give my nod to Willis for this summer's most badass character, someone who actually has a personality.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
2:38PM on 08/24/2007
Glad I'm not the onnly one who didn't notice The Dark Knight isn't on the list! Definetly needs to be!

But yeah, I agree with everything written here (especially Spiderman).
Glad I'm not the onnly one who didn't notice The Dark Knight isn't on the list! Definetly needs to be!

But yeah, I agree with everything written here (especially Spiderman).
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
10:33AM on 08/24/2007

Uh...

Paul Greengrass doing a Fantastic Four film?
I think I would like to see the action sequences, instead of the camera man having a seizure.

If anything the first Bourne film was the only one worth seeing, the past 2 films the action was really nauseating.
If it wasn't for that tiny problem I would have liked the latter two. It's hard following the plot when it's interjected with shaky-camness.
Paul Greengrass doing a Fantastic Four film?
I think I would like to see the action sequences, instead of the camera man having a seizure.

If anything the first Bourne film was the only one worth seeing, the past 2 films the action was really nauseating.
If it wasn't for that tiny problem I would have liked the latter two. It's hard following the plot when it's interjected with shaky-camness.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
2:50AM on 08/24/2007

No Dark Knight??

Nice list. Although, I don't want to sound bias only because I am one of many who enjoy the Batman franchise. Where is the Dark Knight on this list? If I remember correctly, Dark Knight also made quite an impression on those who did attend. And, for those who didn't attend and heardread about the footage, does that not count for causing more hype and excitement for next summer as well?
Nice list. Although, I don't want to sound bias only because I am one of many who enjoy the Batman franchise. Where is the Dark Knight on this list? If I remember correctly, Dark Knight also made quite an impression on those who did attend. And, for those who didn't attend and heardread about the footage, does that not count for causing more hype and excitement for next summer as well?
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
2:16AM on 08/24/2007
do i need to go on yet another rant of how much tom jane DOESNT deserve a winner spot? im upset by that, but it was fixed when i remembered how i was at wizard world chicago and saw the dark knight footage. thats [link] should be the ultimate winner right there: the dark knight footage.
do i need to go on yet another rant of how much tom jane DOESNT deserve a winner spot? im upset by that, but it was fixed when i remembered how i was at wizard world chicago and saw the dark knight footage. thats [link] should be the ultimate winner right there: the dark knight footage.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
1:32AM on 08/24/2007
Here's to the two biggest bill of goods sold to fans since BATMAN & ROBIN; DIEHARD 4 & SPIDERMAN 3. To quote, "If you made it through this one without drooling like McMurphy at the end of CUCKOO'S NEST, life owes you one"
Here's to the two biggest bill of goods sold to fans since BATMAN & ROBIN; DIEHARD 4 & SPIDERMAN 3. To quote, "If you made it through this one without drooling like McMurphy at the end of CUCKOO'S NEST, life owes you one"
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
View All Comments

Latest Movie News Headlines


Top
Loading...
JoBlo's T-Shirt Shoppe | support our site... Wear Our Gear!