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Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Adam Sandler!

07.03.2012

Welcome to Movie Jail, a facility like any other, only its inmates are Hollywood writers, directors, actors and producers. This column will serve as a Movie Jail trial. We will put one defendant on trial; lay out arguments for the Prosecution and Defense. And we leave it up to YOU, the reader, to decide whether the defendant is guilty of his or her crime. What crime? The crime of consistently being a shithouse.

The Defendant


Adam Sandler

The Case

The Prosecution: Click, Spanglish, Eight Crazy Nights, Bedtime Stories, The Longest Yard, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, Just Go With It, Jack & Jill.*

When is enough, enough? Though Sandler’s movies consistently gross over $50M a picture (exceptions are some of his dramatic turns in Reign Over Me, Punch Drunk Love and Spanglish), and close to half grossing over $100M worldwide, the quality of this output is just as consistent….in awfulness. His highest critically rated movies on Rotten Tomatoes are Punch Drunk Love, Funny People, Stupidity and The Wedding Singer. While most are officially “rotten” on the site, the same holds true for the audience rating. And though the court retains the fact that the movies are financially successful, the court fails to receive any evidence that anyone likes these pieces of shitballs.....of shit.

The Defense: Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, The Waterboy, Punch Drunk Love amongst others, comedy CDs “They’re All Gonna Laugh At You” and “What the Hell Happened to Me” as well as his skits on Saturday Night Live and cameos in a handful of other movies like Dirty Work and Coneheads*

*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so relax.

Sandler showed up big in his first couple headlining gigs with Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore, widely considered to be his funniest roles and “classics” for a generation. He parlayed that success into other successful comedies including The Waterboy, The Wedding Singer and Big Daddy. Some proved to be more financially successful than others, but the fact is that Sandler made the mid and late 90s his bitch, and made Happy Madison Productions a money making factory.

IN CLOSING...

So, what’s to be done with Mr. Sandler? Could his earlier successful movies give a pass to the more recent, water downed version of the man? Does his box office appeal have any bearing in this case? And the most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into consideration, I ask you The Jury, is Adam Sandler GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Let’s hear YOUR arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.


"Baby talk baby talk....yell....laugh.....SHUT UP!

Extra Tidbit: The verdict and sentence for this week's Movie Jail trial will be announced in the next column, along with our most recent defendant. Who else deserves their ass thrown in Movie Jail? Strike back below and we might throw his/her ass on trial!
Source: JoBlo.com

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