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Things Fall Apart, 50 Cent's grab for acting glory, gets an unofficial and unintentionally funny trailer

03.10.2011by:

Cancer's no joke. I've lost loved ones to the heinous disease and I'm sure at least some of you know have known or experienced its sting in some way, shape, or form.

Raptor 50 Cent, however, has managed to make cancer nigh on hilarious.

The film is THINGS FALL APART from director and co-star Mario Van Peebles. Last year, when we got our first glimpse of Fity's insane weight-loss for the part of a college football player stricken with cancer, I was optimistic. Hopeful, even. I mean, I really like Van Peebles and the film even boasts the awesome powers of Ray Liotta!

But, as is always the case, LIFE got in the way...

Synopsis: DEON BARNES (Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson) is a college running back with a fierce combination of blazing speed and stunning power. His mom BEE (Lynn Whitfield) works double shifts as a bartender, and when Deon’s on TV, the bar is packed with supporters. Family friend ERIC (Mario Van Peebles) has always been there to support Bee and to mentor Deon. Deon’s brother Sean is also a college student, a hard worker who pays for his college education with the help of financial aid and a full time job at a car dealership.

Deon gets along with Sean, unaware of the resentment Sean feels towards him. Sean works hard to make good grades, and Deon works hard to become an NFL draft pick. Deon is the big man on campus, likes to party, and has his pick of beautiful co-eds. Sean has a crush on Sharon, a pretty co-ed, but somehow she ends up with Deon. Needing a win to secure a berth in the Post-season, Deon hoists the team on his back and carries them to victory. But the celebration is short lived. He collapses in the locker room and wakes up in the hospital, where he learns he has cancer. DR. BRINSTALL (Ray Liotta) tells him and his family that he will probably never play football again. Eric conspires to keep Deon’s disease a secret from the NFL Scouts. Deon, his dreams crushed, undergoes chemotherapy treatment, shedding nearly eighty pounds of muscle and leaving him weak, almost helpless. He returns to school a shadow of his former self, emaciated and unrecognizable. Sharon stands by Deon, but finds herself growing close to Sean. One night while studying, Sean tells her the truth– the only reason Deon ever approached her was because Sean was interested in her. Deon catches them kissing and confronts Sean. With his football career in serious jeopardy and his family seeming to turn on him, Deon begins to realize a startling truth: he’s not really a good person.

His family begins to fall apart. Like him, their hopes and dreams were dependant on his success in the NFL. Deon struggles to pick up the pieces of his life, and reconcile with Sean, but Dr. Brinstall informs him that the cancer has spread. With precious little time left in his life, Deon sets out to put his family back together again.

THINGS FALL APART is a humorous, touching story about a man who loses everything, but gains the world. Like the Oscar winning film THE BLIND SIDE, this is a film that will stir emotions and inspire audiences worldwide. Acclaimed director Mario Van Peebles brings the story to life with great football action and heartwarming characters. An astonishingly emotional and heartfelt star turn from Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson anchors the film. Jackson heads up a stellar cast who deliver performances that make this a crowd-pleasing instant classic.


Extra Tidbit: I smell a DTV classic!

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8:05PM on 03/14/2011

50 cent is a Raptor?

Did he try out for a Jurassic Park role?
Did he try out for a Jurassic Park role?
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10:46PM on 03/10/2011
In that picture he kind of looks like "Paul" the alien.
In that picture he kind of looks like "Paul" the alien.
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10:24PM on 03/10/2011
If they had replaced football with ballet and 50 with Jennifer Love Hewitt, this could have been Lifetime's biggest hit.
If they had replaced football with ballet and 50 with Jennifer Love Hewitt, this could have been Lifetime's biggest hit.
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3:55PM on 03/10/2011

LOL

They edit the game in the beginning to be this action packed gridiron match, with the crowd fully into. Cut to 8 seconds in, where they sloppily reveal that they only paid to fill 1/2 of the stadium with extras. I'm all for stretching the budget - but that's some shit ass editing right there. If they are that sloppy in a 2.5 minute trailer, I'm guessing the actual feature is going to be gangbusters.
They edit the game in the beginning to be this action packed gridiron match, with the crowd fully into. Cut to 8 seconds in, where they sloppily reveal that they only paid to fill 1/2 of the stadium with extras. I'm all for stretching the budget - but that's some shit ass editing right there. If they are that sloppy in a 2.5 minute trailer, I'm guessing the actual feature is going to be gangbusters.
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+0
2:27PM on 03/10/2011

LOL

50 looks like an Erudite from the original Everquest in that picture.
50 looks like an Erudite from the original Everquest in that picture.
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1:55PM on 03/10/2011
Dear Sly Stallone,

Please put Ray Liotta in "The Expendables 2" so that people can see him in a good, theatrical released movie.

Thank You
Dear Sly Stallone,

Please put Ray Liotta in "The Expendables 2" so that people can see him in a good, theatrical released movie.

Thank You
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1:46PM on 03/10/2011

Ah...

I think the problem here is that the trailer is cut like a Funny Or Die spoof - with equal acting from some of the bit players.
I think the problem here is that the trailer is cut like a Funny Or Die spoof - with equal acting from some of the bit players.
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+3
1:17PM on 03/10/2011
I smell a new Awfully Good column approaching...

"My grandmother can do that in her wheelchair!"

LOL
I smell a new Awfully Good column approaching...

"My grandmother can do that in her wheelchair!"

LOL
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+7
12:18PM on 03/10/2011

Terrible

This trailer looks like it belongs on Funny Or Die.
This trailer looks like it belongs on Funny Or Die.
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+13
12:16PM on 03/10/2011

"raptor 50 cent"

wow, didn't know he was a dinosaur
wow, didn't know he was a dinosaur
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+10
11:53AM on 03/10/2011
Bad raper and apparently bad actor.
Bad raper and apparently bad actor.
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1:04PM on 03/10/2011
I beg to differ. I was recently accosted by 50 in an alleyway and I must say... He's a terrific raper.
I beg to differ. I was recently accosted by 50 in an alleyway and I must say... He's a terrific raper.
1:53PM on 03/10/2011
Zing!
Zing!
11:47AM on 03/10/2011
That has to be the worst trailer ever crafted with such an all-star cast, such a same.
That has to be the worst trailer ever crafted with such an all-star cast, such a same.
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+6
11:36AM on 03/10/2011

Ouch

That looks like a horrible job done on the production of this movie. Seriously this had Made for TV all over it. Too bad.
That looks like a horrible job done on the production of this movie. Seriously this had Made for TV all over it. Too bad.
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-7
11:23AM on 03/10/2011
That looks bad, but then again most trailers are bad - trying to make whatever film seem as cheesy as possible so that people will go and see it, I wouldn't say it looks like the worst film you'll ever see, in fact, it looks like it could be better than The Blind Side.
That looks bad, but then again most trailers are bad - trying to make whatever film seem as cheesy as possible so that people will go and see it, I wouldn't say it looks like the worst film you'll ever see, in fact, it looks like it could be better than The Blind Side.
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11:11AM on 03/10/2011
I hope Ray Liotta got paid the whole budget for the movie after witnessing that.
I hope Ray Liotta got paid the whole budget for the movie after witnessing that.
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10:52AM on 03/10/2011
Wow... it's like the producers realized what they have wrought and intentionally didn't want us to see this movie... like pulling out this crap trailer and this entire plot summary they call a "synopsis".
Wow... it's like the producers realized what they have wrought and intentionally didn't want us to see this movie... like pulling out this crap trailer and this entire plot summary they call a "synopsis".
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10:52AM on 03/10/2011
Wow, that looks terrible. "Curtis Jackson's most critically acclaimed role to date." Like that's a compliment. This trailer had me laughing out loud while watching it by myself, which is no easy task. It looks like a terrible Hallmark movie that will go straight to DVD/Netflix watch instantly, and still no one will watch it. That said, THANK YOU for posting it - great start to my morning!

TIDBIT - Longest synopsis for a movie EVER.
Wow, that looks terrible. "Curtis Jackson's most critically acclaimed role to date." Like that's a compliment. This trailer had me laughing out loud while watching it by myself, which is no easy task. It looks like a terrible Hallmark movie that will go straight to DVD/Netflix watch instantly, and still no one will watch it. That said, THANK YOU for posting it - great start to my morning!

TIDBIT - Longest synopsis for a movie EVER.
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9:53AM on 03/10/2011

I feel bad for....

Ray Liotta, Michael Madsen, Cuba Gooding Jr., and Val Kilmer. They were the actors of their hey-day and now they're doing this shite.

Sure, it's $$$$ but come on, guys... do you really need to keep ruining your careers with crap?
Ray Liotta, Michael Madsen, Cuba Gooding Jr., and Val Kilmer. They were the actors of their hey-day and now they're doing this shite.

Sure, it's $$$$ but come on, guys... do you really need to keep ruining your careers with crap?
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2:41PM on 03/10/2011
I don't feel bad for them. No one is forcing them to take these roles.

They either really suck at picking scripts, or they just plain don't care about their careers anymore.

All of your examples are great actors. They could hold out for that comeback role if they wanted to.
I don't feel bad for them. No one is forcing them to take these roles.

They either really suck at picking scripts, or they just plain don't care about their careers anymore.

All of your examples are great actors. They could hold out for that comeback role if they wanted to.
-8
9:34AM on 03/10/2011
I'm completely lost.

What's so bad about this trailer? I mean I still can't understand a word 50 says, but that aside, I was expecting something really really bad and what I got wasn't anywhere near as bad as Mr. Merchan thinks it is.

And as for all the commentors agreeing with Mr. Merchan, do you agree because YOU think it looks bad as well, or are you agreeing JUST because Mr. Merchan thinks so and because 50 cents in it?

Stop being automatons and think for yourselves. I HIGHLY
I'm completely lost.

What's so bad about this trailer? I mean I still can't understand a word 50 says, but that aside, I was expecting something really really bad and what I got wasn't anywhere near as bad as Mr. Merchan thinks it is.

And as for all the commentors agreeing with Mr. Merchan, do you agree because YOU think it looks bad as well, or are you agreeing JUST because Mr. Merchan thinks so and because 50 cents in it?

Stop being automatons and think for yourselves. I HIGHLY doubt that anyone would say this "looks unintentionally funny" if it starred someone else other than 50 Cent...
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10:54AM on 03/10/2011
Your doubts are incorrect, sir. In fact, this DOES look so bad that I laughed while watching it. Clearly you are bad at reading the minds of the other commenters on this site.
Your doubts are incorrect, sir. In fact, this DOES look so bad that I laughed while watching it. Clearly you are bad at reading the minds of the other commenters on this site.
12:17PM on 03/10/2011
No, this really looks terrible, with or without 50 Cent in it.
No, this really looks terrible, with or without 50 Cent in it.
12:27PM on 03/10/2011
I HIGHLY agree with your point that when an author on the site has an opinion, the majority of the responses follow that opinion. People do need to do more thinking for themselves.

With that said, this trailer was very poorly constructed, and riddled with cliches.
I HIGHLY agree with your point that when an author on the site has an opinion, the majority of the responses follow that opinion. People do need to do more thinking for themselves.

With that said, this trailer was very poorly constructed, and riddled with cliches.
3:46PM on 03/10/2011
Right - blame your minority opinion on us, and characterize the dislike of it as the product of groupthink - if that will validate your opinion. It's much easier than owning your minority opinion, and just accepting that, hey, you like something that appears quite shitty to everyone else. "Mr. Merchan?" Seriously? I don't know him from Adam, and I care fuck-all about his take on things.

Sorry if nuggets like the drymop being passed off for 50's dreadlocks, the narcissistism dripping
Right - blame your minority opinion on us, and characterize the dislike of it as the product of groupthink - if that will validate your opinion. It's much easier than owning your minority opinion, and just accepting that, hey, you like something that appears quite shitty to everyone else. "Mr. Merchan?" Seriously? I don't know him from Adam, and I care fuck-all about his take on things.

Sorry if nuggets like the drymop being passed off for 50's dreadlocks, the narcissistism dripping through the role 50 wrote for himself, the shitty camerawork, the claustrophobicly cheap-looking sets, and the stilted acting didn't bother you.

Definitely it's a comment on our taste - not yours. /facepalm/
+2
9:24AM on 03/10/2011

TLDR

got halfway through the 2nd paragraph of the synopsis and quit.
got halfway through the 2nd paragraph of the synopsis and quit.
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+1
8:59AM on 03/10/2011

Fiddy, you'll never be an actor

This looks awful

50 Cent has no talent and the sooner he realizes that and jumps off a building the world will be a much better place
This looks awful

50 Cent has no talent and the sooner he realizes that and jumps off a building the world will be a much better place
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3:42PM on 03/10/2011
he has a talent for making lots and lots of money. business talent - G-Unit clothing, Vitamin water, commercial endorsements, record label, Publishing company, video games, film production company, a real estate portfolio that would make your head explode, successful website... his albums are just a commercial for a one man marketing machine.

I'm not a fan of his, but like your avatar i respect WINNING.
he has a talent for making lots and lots of money. business talent - G-Unit clothing, Vitamin water, commercial endorsements, record label, Publishing company, video games, film production company, a real estate portfolio that would make your head explode, successful website... his albums are just a commercial for a one man marketing machine.

I'm not a fan of his, but like your avatar i respect WINNING.
8:05AM on 03/10/2011
I just wanna say how relieved I am this isn't an adaptation of "Things Fall Apart" by Chinua Achebe about a tribe in colonial Nigeria. Something that might make a good miniseries or something, but not with Fitty.
I just wanna say how relieved I am this isn't an adaptation of "Things Fall Apart" by Chinua Achebe about a tribe in colonial Nigeria. Something that might make a good miniseries or something, but not with Fitty.
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8:21AM on 03/10/2011
That's what I initially thought of when I first heard about this project last year. Makes me wonder what the fuck Mario is doing - he's obviously referencing the book in some oblique way. Since I plan to never see this, I'll have to hope that question gets answered in a wikipedia article.
That's what I initially thought of when I first heard about this project last year. Makes me wonder what the fuck Mario is doing - he's obviously referencing the book in some oblique way. Since I plan to never see this, I'll have to hope that question gets answered in a wikipedia article.
3:48PM on 03/10/2011
HoyleHaw, you bring a touch of class to this website.

Smooveluv... you are a funny mofo.
HoyleHaw, you bring a touch of class to this website.

Smooveluv... you are a funny mofo.
7:35AM on 03/10/2011
I was hoping they'd use The Roots song 'Things Fall Apart'. It would have made the awful trailer bearable if they did.
I was hoping they'd use The Roots song 'Things Fall Apart'. It would have made the awful trailer bearable if they did.
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8:23AM on 03/10/2011
A: Any hip-hop track they are going to use in the trailer would have to be Curtis' (I'm assuming, because his head, balls and legal team are just that big) and...

B) Don't drag the Roots down into this mess. Annnnd...

C) See HoyleHaw's comment above. That track, and the whole album, reference that novel, so I can't imagine Van Peebles making the connection any more confusing than he already has.
A: Any hip-hop track they are going to use in the trailer would have to be Curtis' (I'm assuming, because his head, balls and legal team are just that big) and...

B) Don't drag the Roots down into this mess. Annnnd...

C) See HoyleHaw's comment above. That track, and the whole album, reference that novel, so I can't imagine Van Peebles making the connection any more confusing than he already has.
9:01AM on 03/10/2011
I didn't know about the novel, or indeed the inspiration it had to The Roots.

Thanks for the heads up.
I didn't know about the novel, or indeed the inspiration it had to The Roots.

Thanks for the heads up.
+1
5:18AM on 03/10/2011
Wow... just wow. Looks even more ridiculously stupid than I expected.
Wow... just wow. Looks even more ridiculously stupid than I expected.
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8:24AM on 03/10/2011
You need to learn how to lower your expectations... further.
You need to learn how to lower your expectations... further.
+5
4:03AM on 03/10/2011
Holy fuck.
Holy fuck.
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+7
3:49AM on 03/10/2011

Trainwreck

I'll never get that 2m27s of my life back.
I'll never get that 2m27s of my life back.
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3:18AM on 03/10/2011
Things Fall Apart? Probably the most ironic title for a film since Cop Out.
Things Fall Apart? Probably the most ironic title for a film since Cop Out.
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3:07AM on 03/10/2011

Was it cancer of the brain???

Coz I really couldn't tell at the end of the trailer when he's running at the end and out of nowhere, pulls a Cuba Gooding Jr. from Radio. Meanwhile somewhere, Tommy Wiseau breathes a sigh of relief.
Coz I really couldn't tell at the end of the trailer when he's running at the end and out of nowhere, pulls a Cuba Gooding Jr. from Radio. Meanwhile somewhere, Tommy Wiseau breathes a sigh of relief.
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2:44AM on 03/10/2011
That WAS a funny trailer, but the movie don't look half bad. Nice to see Fidd' taking acting seriously.
That WAS a funny trailer, but the movie don't look half bad. Nice to see Fidd' taking acting seriously.
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+0
2:41AM on 03/10/2011

hahahahahahaahahahah

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3:06AM on 03/10/2011
Page is missing pimp, post another link or a google address so no mofos will delete the page your trying to let everyone see.
Page is missing pimp, post another link or a google address so no mofos will delete the page your trying to let everyone see.
8:25AM on 03/10/2011
Either I'm missing something, or Balgaroo didn't get the joke.
Either I'm missing something, or Balgaroo didn't get the joke.
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