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This promo art proves it - nobody flexes like an Expendable

Jan. 31, 2012by:

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Did you ever play Goldeneye/Perfect Dark for the N64? And if so, do you remember DK Mode? It was a cheat wherein characters were distorted so as to look like human versions of Donkey Kong. It automatically made most of the enemies in the main game look more awkward and, dare I say, cute? Though there were of course a few exceptions like Jaws in Goldeneye's multiplayer, characters that were perhaps even a bit more frightening due to the cosmetic enhancements.

And so I present to you some promo art for THE EXPENDABLES 2 that seems to take a page from the Goldeneye Cheats Playbook in terms of crazy proportion manipulation. Seriously.  These caricature-style pieces or promo art are crazy, and therefore kind of awesome in their absurdity.  Check out Stallone's veins - they could star in their own Hentai movie. Though the ridiculous action side of me does enjoy the fact that Statham's knives are nearly as long as his arm.

StalloneFlex

 

StathamFlex

 

AdkinsFlex

Extra Tidbit: 1) Favorite Expendable? And 2) who should get a shot at being a part of the team in a third film, if it were to happen?
Source: Facebook

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8:13AM on 01/31/2012
A Stallone's veins hentai movie? Would probably give that one a miss.
A Stallone's veins hentai movie? Would probably give that one a miss.
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8:13AM on 01/31/2012
1. Favorite Expendable: Terry Crews
2. Future Expendables: Carl Weathers, Michael Biehn, Michael Dudikoff (if somebody is able to find him).
1. Favorite Expendable: Terry Crews
2. Future Expendables: Carl Weathers, Michael Biehn, Michael Dudikoff (if somebody is able to find him).
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+17
8:14AM on 01/31/2012
The Expendables all died in the Director's Cut of the first part, in a scene where Chuck Norris drowned them in a chocolate fountain.
The Expendables all died in the Director's Cut of the first part, in a scene where Chuck Norris drowned them in a chocolate fountain.
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8:22AM on 01/31/2012
Nice pics, they add a good upcoming promo-effect *COUGH* for the PG13 crowd *COUGH*
1) Its so hard to choose just ONE expendable but for now I go with Gunnar
2) If they do make a third film, they REALLY need to consider adding Michael Jai White, Michelle Yeoh..Oh and NO CHUCK FUCKING NORRIS!
Nice pics, they add a good upcoming promo-effect *COUGH* for the PG13 crowd *COUGH*
1) Its so hard to choose just ONE expendable but for now I go with Gunnar
2) If they do make a third film, they REALLY need to consider adding Michael Jai White, Michelle Yeoh..Oh and NO CHUCK FUCKING NORRIS!
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8:54AM on 01/31/2012
Oh yeah, they are definitely targeting kids with EX2.
Oh yeah, they are definitely targeting kids with EX2.
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+10
8:58AM on 01/31/2012
You are sure this art is not for GI Joe 2? Sigh...
You are sure this art is not for GI Joe 2? Sigh...
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+10
9:00AM on 01/31/2012
Expendables 2 is the new Chipmunk series, kids will love 'em!
Expendables 2 is the new Chipmunk series, kids will love 'em!
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11:36AM on 01/31/2012
My biggest nightmare is a Saturday Morning cartoon.
My biggest nightmare is a Saturday Morning cartoon.
9:49AM on 01/31/2012

A comment on Statham

Jason Statham really isn't even that big or muscular. He's kind of like Bruce Willis, but at least Willis is 6'0 -- Statham is like 5'9 tops. No idea how he became this action star -- British gangster, sure, but he's not really big enough to be intimidating in the sense that he's portrayed in these flicks.

P.S This art does fit in well with the film's PG-13 rating.
Jason Statham really isn't even that big or muscular. He's kind of like Bruce Willis, but at least Willis is 6'0 -- Statham is like 5'9 tops. No idea how he became this action star -- British gangster, sure, but he's not really big enough to be intimidating in the sense that he's portrayed in these flicks.

P.S This art does fit in well with the film's PG-13 rating.
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2:08PM on 01/31/2012
I always saw him more like Van Damme type, maybe it's because he's a got martial arts abilities, I don't know, bt Van Damme is 5'9 as well.
I always saw him more like Van Damme type, maybe it's because he's a got martial arts abilities, I don't know, bt Van Damme is 5'9 as well.
12:53PM on 01/31/2012
Well, unlike the rest of the coffin-jockeys in this picture, Statham was actually an athlete (pro soccer) before being sidelined by an injury. In the soccer world he was an enforcer, in other words, he didn't pretend to be a badass like Stallone and Norris do.
Well, unlike the rest of the coffin-jockeys in this picture, Statham was actually an athlete (pro soccer) before being sidelined by an injury. In the soccer world he was an enforcer, in other words, he didn't pretend to be a badass like Stallone and Norris do.
12:03PM on 01/31/2012
I am 5'11 and I towered over Stallone's Madame Tussauds Wax model.
He is, and always has been, a very very tiny man.
I am 5'11 and I towered over Stallone's Madame Tussauds Wax model.
He is, and always has been, a very very tiny man.
11:40AM on 01/31/2012
@filmaddict, maybe that's why Statham's arms are covered to add "some truth" to what you're saying.
@filmaddict, maybe that's why Statham's arms are covered to add "some truth" to what you're saying.
11:34AM on 01/31/2012
filmaddict has a point.
filmaddict has a point.
11:26AM on 01/31/2012
@Skellington: I consider Cruise to be perceived differently. Action star, sure. Muscle man, no. Statham seems to have this reputation of being another Stallone or Willis and to me he looks pretty small and not nearly as badass as he seems to try to be. You wouldn't see a cartoon interpretation of Cruise with huge, bulging muscles as Statham is portrayed in these promos.
@Skellington: I consider Cruise to be perceived differently. Action star, sure. Muscle man, no. Statham seems to have this reputation of being another Stallone or Willis and to me he looks pretty small and not nearly as badass as he seems to try to be. You wouldn't see a cartoon interpretation of Cruise with huge, bulging muscles as Statham is portrayed in these promos.
10:12AM on 01/31/2012
Tom Cruise is 5'7 and pretty much an action star in his spare time, so I don't see the problem of Statham being 5'9
Tom Cruise is 5'7 and pretty much an action star in his spare time, so I don't see the problem of Statham being 5'9
10:35AM on 01/31/2012
Still betting that most of you putting down Expendables 2 will go see it. Bitch all you want you know you will. Anyway, not a fan of this art. Favorite expendable? Jason Statham. Contrary to popular belief their isn't a height limit to be an action hero. Ever heard of Bruce Lee? Add Chow Yun Fat....Andy Lau....hell its PG-13...Get Jackie Chan...lol
Still betting that most of you putting down Expendables 2 will go see it. Bitch all you want you know you will. Anyway, not a fan of this art. Favorite expendable? Jason Statham. Contrary to popular belief their isn't a height limit to be an action hero. Ever heard of Bruce Lee? Add Chow Yun Fat....Andy Lau....hell its PG-13...Get Jackie Chan...lol
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10:09PM on 01/31/2012
Hell no we won't go see this trash JungleMan!

Real men will buy a ticket to the R rated Bullet to the Head instead, and let the Expendables series die a quick death before the series gets raped by Sly any further.
Hell no we won't go see this trash JungleMan!

Real men will buy a ticket to the R rated Bullet to the Head instead, and let the Expendables series die a quick death before the series gets raped by Sly any further.
+21
10:56AM on 01/31/2012

heh

now we just need one with Norris huggin a teddy bear while butterflies and a rainbow with a unicorn riding on it in the background.
now we just need one with Norris huggin a teddy bear while butterflies and a rainbow with a unicorn riding on it in the background.
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11:34AM on 01/31/2012
Movie is going to suck ass.
Movie is going to suck ass.
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12:58PM on 01/31/2012
Wow.....we actually agree on something. YAY!!!! Good job soloist, I'm proud of you.
Wow.....we actually agree on something. YAY!!!! Good job soloist, I'm proud of you.
+14
12:09PM on 01/31/2012
This so fits with the damn kid tested mother approved bullshit that I hoped died a painful death. Political correctness in action movies can suck it.
This so fits with the damn kid tested mother approved bullshit that I hoped died a painful death. Political correctness in action movies can suck it.
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-9
12:14PM on 01/31/2012

I genuinely enjoy these drawings

They have that cool exaggerated comic book/cartoon look to them.
For all the bitching people are doing about how it's PG-13 and that they might as well make it a kids cartoon...The Expendables wouldn't be the perfect 80's throwback that it's supposed to be WITHOUT a kid's cartoon. Every film got one in the eighties.
Ghostbusters, Back to the Future, Bill and Ted, Teen Wolf, The Karate Kid.
Even completely inappropriate movies like Robocop and RAMBO.
Hell Mr T and Chuck Norris had their own
They have that cool exaggerated comic book/cartoon look to them.
For all the bitching people are doing about how it's PG-13 and that they might as well make it a kids cartoon...The Expendables wouldn't be the perfect 80's throwback that it's supposed to be WITHOUT a kid's cartoon. Every film got one in the eighties.
Ghostbusters, Back to the Future, Bill and Ted, Teen Wolf, The Karate Kid.
Even completely inappropriate movies like Robocop and RAMBO.
Hell Mr T and Chuck Norris had their own cartoons.
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9:58PM on 01/31/2012
It's not that the art is bad. It's that the series has sold out and is now a damn kid's cartoon come to life. It's total bullshit, and brought to you by the same man who made Rambo and The Expendables.

Next, Expendables: The Musical.

All that can save this series, is an R rating and a bloody as hell Red Ban trailer.
It's not that the art is bad. It's that the series has sold out and is now a damn kid's cartoon come to life. It's total bullshit, and brought to you by the same man who made Rambo and The Expendables.

Next, Expendables: The Musical.

All that can save this series, is an R rating and a bloody as hell Red Ban trailer.
4:45PM on 01/31/2012
What are you on about? It's just a couple of promotional comic book drawings. I have seen animated series and read comic books that were far more gruesome and violent than the first Expendables movie. These drawings are nothing but some cool caricatures of the cast, they have no relevance to the rating of the movie what-so-ever.
If this movie was going to be rated R, these would still have surfaced as a means of promotion. Almost every property has a cross-media tie-in, be it a comic, novel,
What are you on about? It's just a couple of promotional comic book drawings. I have seen animated series and read comic books that were far more gruesome and violent than the first Expendables movie. These drawings are nothing but some cool caricatures of the cast, they have no relevance to the rating of the movie what-so-ever.
If this movie was going to be rated R, these would still have surfaced as a means of promotion. Almost every property has a cross-media tie-in, be it a comic, novel, video game, etc. regardless of the rating.
No I'm not happy that the violence is going to be toned down in Ex2, but what has that got to do with these doodles? As I mentioned before, Rambo and Robocop were R Rated...and even they still got ACTUAL AIRED ANIMATED SERIES.
The only regression here, is that someone is putting an animated spin on an action movie and that hasn't been done since the eighties....which funnily enough is exactly what these films were trying to call back to in the first place.
4:02PM on 01/31/2012
Yeah, but now the cartoon is being pushed as the main feature. You don't see the tragedy in that? The sheer fucking regression?
Yeah, but now the cartoon is being pushed as the main feature. You don't see the tragedy in that? The sheer fucking regression?
12:19PM on 01/31/2012
chuck norris better not return for a third one, if there is one, i want a r rated action flick! not one where 13 year olds are running around and giggling, i'm still very bitter about this
chuck norris better not return for a third one, if there is one, i want a r rated action flick! not one where 13 year olds are running around and giggling, i'm still very bitter about this
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+22
1:07PM on 01/31/2012
Next shit we'll see is a Hasbro toy line of these guys dressin' up like GI Joes.. then a Lego version and finally temporary water tattoos for kids in cheeto bags.. FUCK YOU CHUCK NORRIS..
Next shit we'll see is a Hasbro toy line of these guys dressin' up like GI Joes.. then a Lego version and finally temporary water tattoos for kids in cheeto bags.. FUCK YOU CHUCK NORRIS..
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1:13PM on 01/31/2012

Expendables 3

Favorite Expendable: Tie between Terry Crews and Dolph Lundgren.
Future Expendables: Carl Weathers, Jason David Frank, Micheal Jai White
Favorite Expendable: Tie between Terry Crews and Dolph Lundgren.
Future Expendables: Carl Weathers, Jason David Frank, Micheal Jai White
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1:33PM on 01/31/2012
If this succeeds - expect an avalanche of PG-13 pussy drip.
It's up to you.
The power is yours.
If this succeeds - expect an avalanche of PG-13 pussy drip.
It's up to you.
The power is yours.
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-16
2:28PM on 01/31/2012

Going to wait and see...

I think we should wait and see how this turns out before going overboard. The PG-13 of today is the R of yesterday. If the movie has fewer F-bombs and a slightly toned down in the graphic violence department but improves in the acting and story department...I'm all for it. And I'd have to go back and watch the first film...but I don't think you'd cut that much out to get a PG-13 in the gratuitous violence department. Chill people. Let's wait and see.
I think we should wait and see how this turns out before going overboard. The PG-13 of today is the R of yesterday. If the movie has fewer F-bombs and a slightly toned down in the graphic violence department but improves in the acting and story department...I'm all for it. And I'd have to go back and watch the first film...but I don't think you'd cut that much out to get a PG-13 in the gratuitous violence department. Chill people. Let's wait and see.
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12:51PM on 02/01/2012
Wow. There's actually a fairly decent discussion to have here...but all the schoolyard bullshit is tedious. Screw your Momma lines? That's what you bring? And it's easy to talk about having some balls while anonymously posting on the web something you would never say to my face. It's all become pointless. I will just agree to disagree. I'm done feeding the trolls. Moving on....
Wow. There's actually a fairly decent discussion to have here...but all the schoolyard bullshit is tedious. Screw your Momma lines? That's what you bring? And it's easy to talk about having some balls while anonymously posting on the web something you would never say to my face. It's all become pointless. I will just agree to disagree. I'm done feeding the trolls. Moving on....
10:20PM on 01/31/2012
What kind of pussy are you Rokk? Why don't you just go watch Expendables again, then we'll talk. The movie is one of the most hardcore violent bloody movies released in the last 20 years.

You talk like you are some kind of expert, yet can't even remember the first Expendables movie. Why don't you go donate your useless balls to the homeless or someone who could put those tiny things to better use then your pussy self.
What kind of pussy are you Rokk? Why don't you just go watch Expendables again, then we'll talk. The movie is one of the most hardcore violent bloody movies released in the last 20 years.

You talk like you are some kind of expert, yet can't even remember the first Expendables movie. Why don't you go donate your useless balls to the homeless or someone who could put those tiny things to better use then your pussy self.
6:10PM on 01/31/2012
I'll provide you two sources two verify my claim:
"Obviously, if made in 2010, Milius's RED DAWN would've had its R-rating secured by the end of the first action sequence; a PG-13 today means they probably curtailed the number of bloody squib bursts. Nothing like "dry" action violence!"
[link]
AND
"At the time it was released, Red Dawn was considered the most violent film by the Guinness Book of Records and The National Coalition on Television Violence, with a rate of 134 acts of violence
I'll provide you two sources two verify my claim:
"Obviously, if made in 2010, Milius's RED DAWN would've had its R-rating secured by the end of the first action sequence; a PG-13 today means they probably curtailed the number of bloody squib bursts. Nothing like "dry" action violence!"
[link]
AND
"At the time it was released, Red Dawn was considered the most violent film by the Guinness Book of Records and The National Coalition on Television Violence, with a rate of 134 acts of violence per hour, or 2.23 per minute."
[link]

Now unless you can provide evidence to support your ludicrous assertions, I suggest you delete your posts in shame, crawl back up your mother's cunt and then suck my dick as I come inside.
5:59PM on 01/31/2012
Some films I would agree with you don't need to go to PG-13 list…but this is The Expendables...not Full Metal Jacket. Its just not high on that list for me.
And the only way Red Dawn would be rated R today was if some fucktard who grew up watching Captain Planet was on the ratings board and took offense to the way it portrayed Communists in a negative light.
Some films I would agree with you don't need to go to PG-13 list…but this is The Expendables...not Full Metal Jacket. Its just not high on that list for me.
And the only way Red Dawn would be rated R today was if some fucktard who grew up watching Captain Planet was on the ratings board and took offense to the way it portrayed Communists in a negative light.
2:41PM on 01/31/2012
"The PG-13 of today is the R of yesterday"

Please shut the fuck up if you don't know what you're talking about. The PG-13 of yesterday is the R of today. The PG-13 cut of Red Dawn would be rated R today. PG-13 used to allow a lot more profanity and violence in the 80s/earl 90s.

I can't stand these PG-13 apologists.
"The PG-13 of today is the R of yesterday"

Please shut the fuck up if you don't know what you're talking about. The PG-13 of yesterday is the R of today. The PG-13 cut of Red Dawn would be rated R today. PG-13 used to allow a lot more profanity and violence in the 80s/earl 90s.

I can't stand these PG-13 apologists.
3:01PM on 01/31/2012

Extra Tidbit

1) Gunnar Jensen
2) Bring in Ron Perlman

But personally, I'd rather have Steven Seagal in a spinoff "The Expandables".
1) Gunnar Jensen
2) Bring in Ron Perlman

But personally, I'd rather have Steven Seagal in a spinoff "The Expandables".
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3:32PM on 01/31/2012
Its official they are superheros now! Seriously this mixed with the PG 13 rating mixed with Chuck Norris' quote about basically being a "superhero" that comes in and rescues everybody leads me to believe they will be indestructable. For a movie that's called The Expendable barely anyone died in the last one and it seems they will be deflecting bullets with their bare hands in this one.
Its official they are superheros now! Seriously this mixed with the PG 13 rating mixed with Chuck Norris' quote about basically being a "superhero" that comes in and rescues everybody leads me to believe they will be indestructable. For a movie that's called The Expendable barely anyone died in the last one and it seems they will be deflecting bullets with their bare hands in this one.
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9:39PM on 01/31/2012
chuck fucking norris single handedly tanked this movie.. I really hope sly sees all these negative reactions and does the right thing in the editing room! I just dont understand how the laughing stock of the earth (chuck norris) can make an outrageous demand, when he should be thanking his lucky fucking stars that he even got a job like this! the guy gets a big budget blockbuster movie, turned into a pile of shit!
chuck fucking norris single handedly tanked this movie.. I really hope sly sees all these negative reactions and does the right thing in the editing room! I just dont understand how the laughing stock of the earth (chuck norris) can make an outrageous demand, when he should be thanking his lucky fucking stars that he even got a job like this! the guy gets a big budget blockbuster movie, turned into a pile of shit!
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+6
9:51PM on 01/31/2012

Coloring Book Pictures

Nice drawings. They will go great in the coloring book that will be released with the PG-13 Expendables 2 movie.

I won't be supporting this lame shit with my money! I can't believe Sly sold out and "Ass-Bashed" the fans with this PG-13 horseshit. What a laughing stock this franchise has become, and in the very first sequel. Worse than Conan the Destroyer. God, my kingdom for a real R-rated action movie!!!

If they actually do a part 3 (which is doubtful at thids point):

1) Gunnar
Nice drawings. They will go great in the coloring book that will be released with the PG-13 Expendables 2 movie.

I won't be supporting this lame shit with my money! I can't believe Sly sold out and "Ass-Bashed" the fans with this PG-13 horseshit. What a laughing stock this franchise has become, and in the very first sequel. Worse than Conan the Destroyer. God, my kingdom for a real R-rated action movie!!!

If they actually do a part 3 (which is doubtful at thids point):

1) Gunnar Jensen

2) Carl Weathers or Wesley Snipes
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11:26PM on 01/31/2012
Some motherfuckin' relief for y'all:

Bullet To The Head
Rated R
For strong violence, bloody images, language, some nudity and brief drug use.
Some motherfuckin' relief for y'all:

Bullet To The Head
Rated R
For strong violence, bloody images, language, some nudity and brief drug use.
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12:10AM on 02/01/2012

I'd like to see

BRUCE LEE
SHO KOSUGI
BRUCE LEE
SHO KOSUGI
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-1
4:06PM on 02/01/2012
So I take it most of you are excited about it being pg-13?
So I take it most of you are excited about it being pg-13?
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10:03PM on 02/02/2012
Excited is not the word I'd choose. Disappointed, angry, filled with righteous indignation yet also a general sense of despair about the state of cinema? Yes.
Excited is not the word I'd choose. Disappointed, angry, filled with righteous indignation yet also a general sense of despair about the state of cinema? Yes.
+0
4:09PM on 02/01/2012

eh, silly but what the hell...

tidbit: Jet Li -- easily, hope he gets enough screentime in the second at least!!
tidbit: Jet Li -- easily, hope he gets enough screentime in the second at least!!
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+0
4:21PM on 02/01/2012

Woody Allen!

/shrug
At least it'd be unexpected.
/shrug
At least it'd be unexpected.
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