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Watching Twilight can be hazardous to your health

Jul. 6, 2010by: Mike Sampson

People have been complaining about the TWILIGHT franchise for years now but mostly the complaints have been that the movies aren't very good or they're watering down the vampire genre or "these TWILIGHT girls stole my seat at Comic-Con"... But now it looks like the franchise has ushered in a new era of evil: murder.

Reports out of New Zealand say that a 23-year-old man died unexpectedly and mysteriously during a Sunday night screening of ECLIPSE. The man was found by theater staff after the movie was over, slump forward in his seat with no apparent injuries. Emergency personnel attempted to resuscitate him but no such luck. TWILIGHT had killed him.

Now of course there is no connection between the man watching TWILIGHT and dying (he was described as a "transient" and we all know that transients don't exactly live the healthiest lifestyles) but I think it's just too much of a coincidence and for the time being we should all play it safe and go see another movie instead. No, not THE LAST AIRBENDER. That could very well have the same effect.

Extra Tidbit: With the calorie count in those tubs of popcorn, I'm surprised more people are dying at the movies.

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+32
9:46AM on 07/06/2010

What a horrible...

way to go. I'd hate for the last thing I'd ever see to be something Twilight related.
way to go. I'd hate for the last thing I'd ever see to be something Twilight related.
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11:53AM on 07/06/2010
I'm surprised so many women love these movies and books.. I mean.. Bella Swan is literally the damsel in distress. She's practically controlled the whole series and her character sets back female heroines 100 years.
I'm surprised so many women love these movies and books.. I mean.. Bella Swan is literally the damsel in distress. She's practically controlled the whole series and her character sets back female heroines 100 years.
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12:15PM on 07/06/2010

Agree with JohnLocke2342

I have a little girl and that Bella Swan is the worst female role-model I've seen in years. She has absolutly no ambition, is completely helpless, and spends the majority of her time brooding or pining over witch shirtless beefcake has her "heart". Is this the reality of women? Helpless co-dependents that need only true love to feel acceptance? What a croc of horse shit. Oh, and that guy dying sucks too.
I have a little girl and that Bella Swan is the worst female role-model I've seen in years. She has absolutly no ambition, is completely helpless, and spends the majority of her time brooding or pining over witch shirtless beefcake has her "heart". Is this the reality of women? Helpless co-dependents that need only true love to feel acceptance? What a croc of horse shit. Oh, and that guy dying sucks too.
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1:04PM on 07/06/2010
It's called the ideal woman, as presented by a Mormon.
It's called the ideal woman, as presented by a Mormon.
11:16AM on 07/06/2010
Who cares what drug was in my system or if I violently shat myself after my demise, the most embarrassing part of my death would be being caught dead watching that movie.
Who cares what drug was in my system or if I violently shat myself after my demise, the most embarrassing part of my death would be being caught dead watching that movie.
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11:58AM on 07/06/2010
hahaha
hahaha
12:40PM on 07/06/2010

Lesbian Vampires

Why can't Twilight have... I dunno more lesbians? This seems to be working out great:
[link]
Why can't Twilight have... I dunno more lesbians? This seems to be working out great:
[link]
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10:58AM on 07/06/2010
Having suffered thru the 1st film (at home, on DVD, with several pauses), I'd probably take my own life if I had to sit through another 1.
Having suffered thru the 1st film (at home, on DVD, with several pauses), I'd probably take my own life if I had to sit through another 1.
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+5
5:02PM on 07/06/2010
Guess he'd rather be caught dead than watching a Twilight movie!

Ha!
Guess he'd rather be caught dead than watching a Twilight movie!

Ha!
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+4
2:45PM on 07/06/2010

LOL

I wonder what the Autopsy will say...
I wonder what the Autopsy will say...
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+4
2:10PM on 07/06/2010
Wow, someone actually died watching the movie. I know this probably happens for a lot of movies, and I'd certainly love to hear more stories like this, that is just a horrible way to go. This guy will be the laughing stock of whichever after life he goes to:

Guy 1: I died in a fire saving a baby.
Guy 2: I died in combat defending a village...Hey Frank (our dead guy), why don't you tell everyone how YOU died?
Wow, someone actually died watching the movie. I know this probably happens for a lot of movies, and I'd certainly love to hear more stories like this, that is just a horrible way to go. This guy will be the laughing stock of whichever after life he goes to:

Guy 1: I died in a fire saving a baby.
Guy 2: I died in combat defending a village...Hey Frank (our dead guy), why don't you tell everyone how YOU died?
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12:27AM on 07/07/2010

can i laugh?

poor dude, but really can i? now i know i'll never see these movies, i tried to watch the first one and felt an uncontrollable urge to punch the chic in the face within the first 5 minutes, so i got up and left, told my wife i'll be at the bar waiting for her.
poor dude, but really can i? now i know i'll never see these movies, i tried to watch the first one and felt an uncontrollable urge to punch the chic in the face within the first 5 minutes, so i got up and left, told my wife i'll be at the bar waiting for her.
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7:29PM on 07/06/2010
this story is almost as good as the cop in S Africa that got beat up with a vuvzela.
this story is almost as good as the cop in S Africa that got beat up with a vuvzela.
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6:28PM on 07/06/2010

I can't say I'm surprised

watching those movies would cause audiences to lose brain cells.
watching those movies would cause audiences to lose brain cells.
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9:49AM on 07/07/2010
I am so going to hell , as i can't stop laughing ... love the Airbender line, :)
I am so going to hell , as i can't stop laughing ... love the Airbender line, :)
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7:27PM on 07/06/2010
this story is almost as good as the cop in S Africa that got beat up with a vuvzela.
this story is almost as good as the cop in S Africa that got beat up with a vuvzela.
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11:19AM on 07/06/2010
double post
double post
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2:09PM on 07/06/2010

I know!

He saw the bulge in Stewart's pant's and realized she was a dude then died from disappointment! Awwwwww, that was so wrong and yet so right!
He saw the bulge in Stewart's pant's and realized she was a dude then died from disappointment! Awwwwww, that was so wrong and yet so right!
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-8
3:26PM on 07/06/2010

This is Ridiculous!

People need to stop giving The Twilight films all the importance it doesn't deserve, I think the people that hate Twilight are making it more famous than the people who actually like it, now, I'm not for it or against it, I just see it as another so so film that I will probably watch and then forget about but some people just don't know when to quit!
People need to stop giving The Twilight films all the importance it doesn't deserve, I think the people that hate Twilight are making it more famous than the people who actually like it, now, I'm not for it or against it, I just see it as another so so film that I will probably watch and then forget about but some people just don't know when to quit!
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12:51PM on 07/06/2010
I don't get people who hate Twilight then decide to post on an Twilight article. Just seems very dumb for those people and just seems that people are doing it just to be cool.
I don't get people who hate Twilight then decide to post on an Twilight article. Just seems very dumb for those people and just seems that people are doing it just to be cool.
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