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WTF? Oscar-winner Davis Guggenheim to direct a Justin Bieber biopic?? In 3D???

Aug. 3, 2010by: George Merchan

You sly, money-grubbing bastards...

According to Deadline, Paramount Pictures has made a deal "to turn Justin Bieber's life story into a 3D feature biopic." You might now be wondering, "What 'life' story? The kid's only 16-years-old! He's only been on the music scene since last year! Was he raised by bears?" The answer to that, unfortunately, is no. I just read his Wikipedia page and he was not raised by bears.

Davis Guggenheim, the Oscar-winning director of the Al Gore-pimped documentary AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH, is currently negotiating to direct the 3D (3D!) project. Deadline adds: "The film doesn't have a title, but Bieber will play himself in the film. The pic will be sprinkled with performances from his current concert tour."

Here's the kicker: They're planning on releasing the film on February 11 - Valentine's Day weekend - of next year. Appealing to young teen girls during the season where their hearts are particularly aflutter? You f*cking guys are good. Evil, but good.
Extra Tidbit: This so reminds me of last season's "South Park" episode about the Jonas Brothers.
Source: Deadline

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+3
4:37AM on 08/03/2010
Who is this kid? Why all the fuss about him?
Who is this kid? Why all the fuss about him?
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4:56AM on 08/03/2010

The good news is...

...Bieber can play himself from toddler to now.

What a complete joke. Who gives a shit about this kid's "life" story 60 years from now, let alone today?

Life must be tough for him if they're going to work this into a biopic.
...Bieber can play himself from toddler to now.

What a complete joke. Who gives a shit about this kid's "life" story 60 years from now, let alone today?

Life must be tough for him if they're going to work this into a biopic.
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5:04AM on 08/03/2010

what a joke...

didnt Spice World already come out like 15 years ago?

jeez hollywood and their damn remakes!
didnt Spice World already come out like 15 years ago?

jeez hollywood and their damn remakes!
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5:04AM on 08/03/2010

Looked it up on imdb...

He's actually going to be played by Ellen Page. I know you see the resemblance.
He's actually going to be played by Ellen Page. I know you see the resemblance.
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5:53AM on 08/03/2010

Good God, people!

I can only imagine the combined orgasm groups of tween girls are going to create when a 3D Bieber digitally touches their faces. What kind of world is this, really. I'd take Twilight *shuddder* over this any day.
I can only imagine the combined orgasm groups of tween girls are going to create when a 3D Bieber digitally touches their faces. What kind of world is this, really. I'd take Twilight *shuddder* over this any day.
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6:23AM on 08/03/2010

Fuck!

I'm tired of this stupid haired, no talent, infantile, sorry excuse of a human being.
Harsh? Maybe but it is the damn truth about him.
I'm tired of this stupid haired, no talent, infantile, sorry excuse of a human being.
Harsh? Maybe but it is the damn truth about him.
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6:38AM on 08/03/2010

An insult to the very existence of cinema

Just seeing a photo of Bieber makes me want to punch something. A movie... in 3D? They better lock me up or else some poor bastard's gonna end up at the bottom of a river. The producer of this has an unmarked grave with his name on it.
Just seeing a photo of Bieber makes me want to punch something. A movie... in 3D? They better lock me up or else some poor bastard's gonna end up at the bottom of a river. The producer of this has an unmarked grave with his name on it.
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6:42AM on 08/03/2010

Also...

Thank you, George, for picking THAT picture of Bieber (of all pictures) to use for this article. I'm gonna' have to shut my PC down now or there's going to be a crack in the center of the screen thanks to a sledgehammer. Next time you post a Bieber artcile, please do it sans any picture / drawing / stick figure of him whatsoever. Words are more than enough.
Thank you, George, for picking THAT picture of Bieber (of all pictures) to use for this article. I'm gonna' have to shut my PC down now or there's going to be a crack in the center of the screen thanks to a sledgehammer. Next time you post a Bieber artcile, please do it sans any picture / drawing / stick figure of him whatsoever. Words are more than enough.
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6:54AM on 08/03/2010
hmm... I had not heard of this kid till recently, and the last time I checked this kid was not abused by his parents, he didn't rise to fame out of poverty against all odds, he wasn't bitten by a radioactive spider, and he sure as hell did not save the world from zombies. So at the age of 15, what fucking life story does this kid have that begs for a movie to be made about him? Oh, his family is rich. That's the only answer I'm going to get.
hmm... I had not heard of this kid till recently, and the last time I checked this kid was not abused by his parents, he didn't rise to fame out of poverty against all odds, he wasn't bitten by a radioactive spider, and he sure as hell did not save the world from zombies. So at the age of 15, what fucking life story does this kid have that begs for a movie to be made about him? Oh, his family is rich. That's the only answer I'm going to get.
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7:32AM on 08/03/2010
So they'll show him living with his mom and hanging out with other suburban white kids in Stratford, Ontario?

Maybe they can pepper it with interesting characters from the Stratford Shakespeare Festival. Oh wait, that would involve hiring actual talent.
So they'll show him living with his mom and hanging out with other suburban white kids in Stratford, Ontario?

Maybe they can pepper it with interesting characters from the Stratford Shakespeare Festival. Oh wait, that would involve hiring actual talent.
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8:14AM on 08/03/2010
If I have to listen to just a syllable of his Baby O song, I'm going to throw up. And possibly give this guy a new haircut that looks like Vin Diesel in "XXX".
If I have to listen to just a syllable of his Baby O song, I'm going to throw up. And possibly give this guy a new haircut that looks like Vin Diesel in "XXX".
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8:28AM on 08/03/2010
Sometimes I pray that zombies would take over the world and shit like this would be destroyed.
Sometimes I pray that zombies would take over the world and shit like this would be destroyed.
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8:30AM on 08/03/2010
Well, once the kid starts hitting puberty with a cracking voice, and facial hair, and wrinkles, the dude is going to lose his major appeal and probably go the way of the dodo, so I guess it's best to work on a biopic now.

I mean look how quickly Hanson dropped out of the public eye.
Well, once the kid starts hitting puberty with a cracking voice, and facial hair, and wrinkles, the dude is going to lose his major appeal and probably go the way of the dodo, so I guess it's best to work on a biopic now.

I mean look how quickly Hanson dropped out of the public eye.
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+4
9:11AM on 08/03/2010
lmfao @ a biopic.
lmfao @ a biopic.
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11:14AM on 08/03/2010
lmao @ a 3D biopic..
lmao @ a 3D biopic..
11:27AM on 08/03/2010
What a fucking flaming tool.

[link]
What a fucking flaming tool.

[link]
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1:42AM on 08/05/2010
that link is fucking hilarious
that link is fucking hilarious
11:37AM on 08/03/2010

Hmm.

If Carey Mulligan dyes her hair back to brown and takes this project on...I think she can get herself back into the Oscar race...maybe this time even score a win.

In all seriousness, this kid is a turd, and I really think his testacles should have at least STARTED to drop by now-are we sure he's not a eunuch? Wikipedia that shit.
If Carey Mulligan dyes her hair back to brown and takes this project on...I think she can get herself back into the Oscar race...maybe this time even score a win.

In all seriousness, this kid is a turd, and I really think his testacles should have at least STARTED to drop by now-are we sure he's not a eunuch? Wikipedia that shit.
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+7
12:13PM on 08/03/2010
Horrible.. And the kids hair is sooo fucking ugly
Horrible.. And the kids hair is sooo fucking ugly
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1:06PM on 08/03/2010
Heres hoping he gets eaten by zombies...or sharks...or zombie sharks so I can at least look forward to the ending
Heres hoping he gets eaten by zombies...or sharks...or zombie sharks so I can at least look forward to the ending
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1:08PM on 08/03/2010

Wow Hollywood just keeps getting lower and lower

How fucking completely unnecessary is this? A biopic on a fucking shitty kid singer who is 16, what a waste
How fucking completely unnecessary is this? A biopic on a fucking shitty kid singer who is 16, what a waste
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1:40PM on 08/03/2010
Is there any interest for this at all? I constantly hear his name, but have never heard his songs, for which I am truly grateful. So, may this go down in flames.
Is there any interest for this at all? I constantly hear his name, but have never heard his songs, for which I am truly grateful. So, may this go down in flames.
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2:01PM on 08/03/2010
YES FINALLLY!!!!!! My life is complete...
YES FINALLLY!!!!!! My life is complete...
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3:07PM on 08/03/2010

i'd

rather watch THE LAST AIRBENDER again.
rather watch THE LAST AIRBENDER again.
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4:06PM on 08/03/2010
LMFAO
LMFAO
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4:13PM on 08/03/2010

WTF

Absolute garbage.
Absolute garbage.
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4:23PM on 08/03/2010
LMFAO!!! I hope this kid's career implodes, and he ends up looking like Nick Nolte by the time he hits 21.
LMFAO!!! I hope this kid's career implodes, and he ends up looking like Nick Nolte by the time he hits 21.
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4:57PM on 08/03/2010

OH FUCKING NO

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY MAKE IT STOP MAKE THE BIEBER TRAIN STOP
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY MAKE IT STOP MAKE THE BIEBER TRAIN STOP
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5:24PM on 08/03/2010
It's a chic pretending to be a boy. Surprised no else has figured this out yet....
It's a chic pretending to be a boy. Surprised no else has figured this out yet....
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5:52PM on 08/03/2010
So in his first movie, Guggenheim wanted me to be against global warming. In his second movie, I guess I'm suppose to support global warming so that it puts an end to the world that would make this kid a star. Make up your mind!
So in his first movie, Guggenheim wanted me to be against global warming. In his second movie, I guess I'm suppose to support global warming so that it puts an end to the world that would make this kid a star. Make up your mind!
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7:32PM on 08/03/2010
Gold
Gold
7:05PM on 08/03/2010
Let me guess...

"From the people that brought you Twilight..."
Let me guess...

"From the people that brought you Twilight..."
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+1
7:06PM on 08/03/2010

Davis "Mercenary" Guggenheim

So first his hired by Gore to give the global warming campaign a good marketing vehicle and now by the Bieber empire.
Nothing really wrong with that, just sad when it happens to directors that actually have talent. His first movie, Gossip, showed a lot of potential.
So first his hired by Gore to give the global warming campaign a good marketing vehicle and now by the Bieber empire.
Nothing really wrong with that, just sad when it happens to directors that actually have talent. His first movie, Gossip, showed a lot of potential.
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+1
7:10PM on 08/03/2010

Theres the content to make SOMETHING

Its like Jerry Springer meets Kramer vs Kramer. Of course, no one wants to see this bollocks except 14 year old girls and the poor young lads going to the cinema on a date with them, having their lives completely shattered by this talentless non-entity.

Apparently his parents were young when they had him and they had an ugly court case including accusations of ABH and an alleged history of criminal activity.

Just watch Springer. Its cheaper. Or watch American Idol, where the same sob
Its like Jerry Springer meets Kramer vs Kramer. Of course, no one wants to see this bollocks except 14 year old girls and the poor young lads going to the cinema on a date with them, having their lives completely shattered by this talentless non-entity.

Apparently his parents were young when they had him and they had an ugly court case including accusations of ABH and an alleged history of criminal activity.

Just watch Springer. Its cheaper. Or watch American Idol, where the same sob story is told repeatedly in a vain effort for you to call premium rate phone lines.
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+2
7:26PM on 08/03/2010
Ha Ha! Really funny guys!! This is just an early April Fools joke right?



...Right?
Ha Ha! Really funny guys!! This is just an early April Fools joke right?



...Right?
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7:30PM on 08/03/2010

OMFFFFFFG

He will play himself?? But who will play the young bieber, then???
He will play himself?? But who will play the young bieber, then???
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7:32PM on 08/03/2010

OMFFFFFFG

He will play himself?? But who will play the young bieber, then???
He will play himself?? But who will play the young bieber, then???
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8:35PM on 08/03/2010
God this kid just needs to go away. Hes just another flavor of the week from the disney brain washing machine. Its the same thing with the Jonas brothers. Two years ago they were the hottest thing out there and now no one really cares about them. I work at a concert venue and two years ago the Jonas brothers completely sold out and we even had to create new sections of seating for it. They are back again this year and we are struggling to sell tickets for it even at 10 dollars a ticket.
God this kid just needs to go away. Hes just another flavor of the week from the disney brain washing machine. Its the same thing with the Jonas brothers. Two years ago they were the hottest thing out there and now no one really cares about them. I work at a concert venue and two years ago the Jonas brothers completely sold out and we even had to create new sections of seating for it. They are back again this year and we are struggling to sell tickets for it even at 10 dollars a ticket. Hopefully everyone realizes this kid has no talent and needs to disappear forever.
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9:17PM on 08/03/2010
Jesus Christ almighty.
Jesus Christ almighty.
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10:22PM on 08/03/2010

bah

Surprised Curtis Hanson isn't directing this...since he's available ;)
Surprised Curtis Hanson isn't directing this...since he's available ;)
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3:42AM on 08/04/2010

i feel sick

i just threw up a little.--but you know what? its possable his craze will fade by the time the movie is out, and it'll bomb and cause whoever got this idea and green lit it to never be able to make horrable choices like this again.
i just threw up a little.--but you know what? its possable his craze will fade by the time the movie is out, and it'll bomb and cause whoever got this idea and green lit it to never be able to make horrable choices like this again.
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8:24AM on 08/04/2010
Words cannot fully describe how sad and disappointed this makes me.
Words cannot fully describe how sad and disappointed this makes me.
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6:38PM on 08/04/2010
someone really needs to beat this kid up and take his lunch money.
someone really needs to beat this kid up and take his lunch money.
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8:06PM on 08/04/2010

CHRIST!!!!

That fucking haircut.
That fucking haircut.
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1:37AM on 08/05/2010

you know this...

barrels of monney, just hope the biber fans and the twilight fans get together and either kill each other or implode from retardation.
barrels of monney, just hope the biber fans and the twilight fans get together and either kill each other or implode from retardation.
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1:42AM on 08/05/2010

you know this...

barrels of monney, just hope the biber fans and the twilight fans get together and either kill each other or implode from retardation.
barrels of monney, just hope the biber fans and the twilight fans get together and either kill each other or implode from retardation.
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