"Here at Globo Gym, we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it. And that's where we come in."
"Man, if you gonna be stayin' here, you gonna have to follow some rules. Which is, no smoking' my shit. Don't let me catch you drinkin' my shit. And if you bring any of them hoes up in here, make sure I fuck 'em first."
"...There are two things that clearly differentiate the human species from animals. One, we use cutlery. Two, we're capable of controlling our sexual urges. Now, you might be an exception, but don't drag me down into your private Hell."